Cerberus May be Jailed for A. Murder

[Cerberus]

Yes! You heard it here first! I may be going to jail for attempted murder. Before I begin there is two things that have to be done first:

 

I would be remiss if I did not thank two people for the motivation to get off my "duff!" Thanks Doug.

 

I would also be remiss if I did not thank the other person who vists this forum a bit infrequently and says nothing! Thank you Alice, for your love, confidence, patience and the material you have given to me. These memories will last far after we depart the earth. I love you.

 

Anyway on with the show!

 

I hope to God, that there are no ¡°supermarket¡± tabloid journalists in this forum. Otherwise, my wife will be pictured a week from now in a supermarket, being strangled by a sasquwach < aka big foot! > or at very least a "balding" sasquwach

 

Sorry! I forgot! My wife is Chinese! A stray balding yedi from Tibet!

 

What could cause me a person who is brighter and squarer ¡°than the proverbial box of rocks, to fall to such depths?

 

Perhaps, ¡°someone¡± was making ¡°eyes¡± at my Lampo? < aka Alice >

A: Never!

Perhaps a ¡°midnight rendezvous¡± with my Lampo!

A: Never!

Perhaps the wily and sage ShelikeMe poked one time too many into the hornet¡¯s nest and got his ¡°come-uppance¡±

A: Nope!

 

 

 

It is ladies and gentleman, the ¡°impressionability¡± of the newly immigrated Chinese woman/man. Please rest assured, other members with husbands/wives from other countries, you also will not escape my wrath and these observations. You will soon see what I mean!

 

Alice is a lot brighter than ¡°the average bear!¡± She is cultured, sophisticated, has 5,000 years of Chinese culture, has been sent to private schools since she was 7 years old. Her uncle is a Law professor, her aunt is a former Gene/Biology scientist and teaching professor, cousins are in order; one orthopedic surgeon, one a Provincial Minister of Cultural Affairs for PRC, one cousin an accountant for a major financial firm. Her mother is a high school science teacher, two nieces who are being sent to the US, courtesy of the P.R.C < One to MIT and one to Caltech > for computer programming, This is an impressive resume and lineage, to say the very least. Remember the adage that, ¡°the acorn doesn¡¯t fall far from the tree!" At very least, some of this intellect must have rubbed off somewhere!

 

However, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

I married the inquisitive one of the family. There are times when I begin to question her intellect and the acorn theory both!

 

I will start in my usual fashion. However real names will be used. Believe it or not these were her statements. I will give you twoseperate scenarios, all true! I will now set the stage for the first scenario.

 

In my career field I meet many people from many walks of life. Some rich! Some not so rich! My wife and I have a very comfortable existence. We are not in dire need of anything! A friend of mine at the same corporation I am employed at met and conversed a man in the parking lot. They talked for a length of time. Later, he approached me and asked whether my wife and I would like to go to a client¡¯s house for a pool party and have an Oklahoma style barbeque? Naturally, I said sure! He gave me the time to be there at his home to meet him and gave us the dress for the days, swimming suits, etc, etc, etc.

 

I then asked what he was doing there. He stated that he was installing an elevator! WTF? An elevator in a private Oklahoma home! Hmmmmmmmmmmm! Must be a poor invalid mother, in a wheelchair. However, I didn¡¯t want to push decorum. I readily agreed. Later, I told Yin about the trip! She was ecstatic and is customary for Chinese women began organizing essentials. You know sun block, suit, umbrella < She hates tanning, or she refers to it ¡°turning black.¡± (No insult intended) > and presents for the host, etc. We met my friend later in the day, leave and arrive at the home that he is working on. This is where the plot thickens. The host takes my wife and myself for a tour of his home. I also find out that there are two teenagers, wife and he living there. There is NO! I repeat NO invalids in the home! Later Alice and myself are sitting by the pool relaxing with refreshments provided by our host waiting for the barbeque to begin.

 

Alice: Lampo this is a huge home, isn¡¯t it?

Dave: Yes, Honey! It is. It is beautiful isn¡¯t it?

Alice: Yes, very big! The garden is so very, very big!¡­¡­.Lampo, you were in the army right?

Dave: (Puzzled) Yesssss¡­.Why are you asking?

Alice: You said army has home loan program! Right?

Dave: < As a side note for every man there is the moment when you see the train coming down the tracks. RED FLAGS are waving all over the place! I see exactly where this train is headed! The thoughts in my head are: ¡°Get the HELL of the tracks! Here comes the Sichuan Express Bullet Train! Whooooo Whoooo! Next victim is you DAVID! > ¡°Yes Honey! 1) I was in the army 2) This home probably has three maids for cleaning, two illegal Mexican¡¯s for gardening, one tutor for the kids, one pool cleaning service for the pool and Jacuzzi and an indigent in a tree line, waiting for handouts! 3) I am not buying a home this size, for two people! US and a semi-mentally deranged Jack Russell Terrier! 4) I don¡¯t make this kind of money! 5) I am traveling a lot! Who would watch the home when we are gone?¡±

Alice: (brightly and indignantly) ¡°Me of course! Lampo, I have much culture and am very nice! Chinese woman are very smart! I can do it!¡±

Dave: (This isn¡¯t going the way that I wanted! Perhaps a better tact is called for!) ¡°Darling, if I did purchase this home or one like it, why do would you want it?¡±

Alice: ¡°You love me right, Lampo?¡±

Dave: ¡°Yes!¡± < Men watch out when the woman goes down this path! Now I know, that my reasoning for logic, has been cast aside by Alice>

Alice: ¡°Then you would try to buy a home like this. Not much bigger! Maybe, Just half the size of this one. Then my work would be easier!¡±

Dave: ¡°Your work would be easier?!?!?!?¡±

Alice: (exasperated) ¡°Yes Lampo! Very much easier!¡±

Dave: ¡°How would your work be easier?¡±

Alice: ¡°We could have what your friend is doing now for MR XXXXX XXXX in our new house!¡±

(God love them! Chinese women love to save money! Haven¡¯t even gotten the house or even agreed to it and she is already calculating the discount my friend is going to give her. The speed at which they arrive at these decisions throw out all present theories of space and time continuum)

Dave: (WTF! What discount?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? My friend?!?!?!?!?!?!? Then¡­.enlightenment settles in! OMG!) ¡°Alice, I am not purchasing a home, in Oklahoma, for you and I an mentally deranged dog, that has two floors in it so that you can have a ¡°F _ _ ing¡± elevator ! What are you????? Crazy? Darling this man has too much money for his own good. Only a ¡°Okie¡± with a lot of cash and not much brains would place an elevator in a home that has two floors in it!¡±

Alice: (hurt in her voice)¡°You don¡¯t love me do you?¡±

Dave (Calming down a bit. I dislike cursing. However, there are some limits that a man can be pushed past! An elevator in a two-story home, will do this!) ¡°Darling, I love you very much! However, the army gave me a VA home loan for a ¡°regular¡± home. Not one, with an elevator in it!¡±

Alice: ¡°This is bad American army. You fight many times, they should buy nice home. They are bad people!¡±

 

This set in a very nice ¡°black funk¡± mood for Alice for the rest of the day. The Veteran¡¯s Administration and I are both now the ¡°A-holes: to Alice. VA won¡¯t buy the home and I won¡¯t sign the bottom line of house contract. Needless to say there probably won¡¯t be any lovemaking for the next three or four days.

 

As a side note: It may have been my imagination! However, I kept hearing laughter from the tree line not very far away. I suppose indigents need a laugh now and again.

 

Scenario 2:

 

My wife has been in the US since January this year. There are times when she misses her mother homeland deeply. Sometimes, there very large reminders. The phone calls, letters and packages from her home, etc. There are times when the memories are very small. Like the following set-up I will do.

 

China has been moving towards rapid modernization. Many western items are now almost routinely purchased in her hometown of Chengdu, PRC. The marketing and advertising ploys are simplicity in itself

 

1) Go to popular markets places, where money is being spent in lavish (by Chinese standards) amounts for foreign goods.

 

2) Get a good stage (portable), a good sound system (must be the dB equivalent of 747 engine), plenty of lights that flash with computerized control system and a so-so band (generally, will be discount)

 

3) Have so-so experienced ¡°hawkers¡± to peddle your goods and/or give out free samples. The only requirement is that they must be either handsome or beautiful! Brains are not required!

 

4) Insure a ¡°carnival-like¡± atmosphere

 

5) Insure that advertisements banners are printed in both Chinese and English lettering in the most fluorescent and garish paint available! After all! You are selling imported goods!

 

6) Have at least 4 dancers from the local university college on-stage to dance in rhythm to the music. Requirements are again beauty and able to stay with the band!

 

7) Turn entire system up on line, knock out several storefront windows, and pay bribes to owners, not to call the Chinese National Police!

 

8) After this! Joila! You have marketed your product and also set up secondary imprinted memories in my wife Alice¡¯s mind!

 

The manufacturer R. Bailey has done this routine to extreme. Don¡¯t recognize the name? They manufacture Bailey¡¯s Irish Cr¨¨me liqueur!

 

Move back time about two years. My wife and I were in Chengdu in the Jiangxi Square. Jiangxi Square is an approximately 3 km square, open-air mall area in Chengdu. Alice and I are shopping. Bailey¡¯s has an open-air ¡°free¡± concert set up for their product. I was acclimating my wife to US products, etc. She was agog at what was available from my descriptions. Not unlike the proverbial ¡°child in a candy store¡± mentality!

 

I asked if she wanted to try the liqueur. She flatly declined, stating that this corrupted people¡¯s minds, etc, etc, etc. However, being a former ¡°bel canto¡± opera student herself in the university, she was enthralled at the music. This led us to staying for about 30 minutes. This was approximately 29.5 minutes too long, to have the subliminal message placed forever!

 

Fast forward today approximately 6 weeks ago. This subliminal message came through in grand, but totally unexpected fashion.

 

Alice and I were watching television. What is her favorite channel? See if you can deduce it from the clues:

 

1) What channel has boats that you cannot afford unless you hit the Powerball Lottery?

 

2) What channel delights in showing 10 million dollar plus homes? Again, back to the Powerball Lottery

 

3) What channel shows how delightful French food is, is delicious for the refined palate, how it looks so thoughtfully presented but never mentions the price?

 

If you have not guessed the Travel Channel yet, then you really are spending too much time doing other things! Like getting on with more meaningful pursuits. Like making a paycheck, paying the rent, mortgage, buying food, etc!

 

Either way, Bailey¡¯s has now discovered this particular market niche! Imagine the party! EVERYONE IS DRINKING Baileys Irish Creme! No one person is drinking a beer or God FORBID, a shot of Jim Beam. The people who drink beer and Kentucky bourbon are definitely unsophisticated cavemen! Bailey¡¯s is sooooo good, that one errant drop falls and is caught mid-air in a fashion that would shame Michael Jordan, and then it is drunk! They NEED more! Then the Baileys logo appears!

 

Remember the subliminal message place placed 2 years ago, I mentioned? It kicked in¡­¡­ I am reading the US News report. < I have resigned to my fate as a poor working stiff, with no odds at winning the Lottery! > < Alice, the eternal ¡°optimist¡± of winning the Powerball! > is watching her favorite show! Take it away¡­¡­

 

Alice: ¡°Lampo, please go get some!¡±

Dave: ¡°What?¡±

Alice: ¡°Go get some!¡±

Dave: ¡°Get some what, honey?¡±

Alice: ¡°Bailey¡¯s!¡±

Dave: ¡°Bailey¡¯s what?¡± < I really haven¡¯t been paying attention except to an interesting article I am reading! >

Alice: ¡°You know drink!¡±

Dave: <Now she has my attention. > ¡°What type of drink, Lampo? There are a lot of different types!¡±

Alice: ¡°You know langoun! It is smooth, but biju (Chinese for liquor), and everyone tries it. They like it so! I think that I must also!¡±

Dave: ¡°Are you kidding me? I work tomorrow and get up at 4:45AM and right now it is 8:35PM¡±

Alice: ¡°No! I need and want some.¡±

Dave: ¡°What in the name of Hell are you talking about?¡±

Alice: ¡°Remember when we were in Chengdu and we saw the biju?¡±

Dave: <exasperated> ¡°Darling, you have to narrow this field a lot more! We have been in China, 7 times. Which time?¡±

Alice: ¡°When you first start to know me. Maybe third trip, I forget which one! We went to Jiangxi Square! They have dancing girls! They sing, they have pretty lights, biggggg stage! They give free samples of drink to Chinese people!¡±

Dave: < Finally the dawn is coming up in the East! > ¡°Darling, that was Bailey¡¯s Irish cr¨¨me liqueur, they gave away. That was two years ago. You didn¡¯t want to try then. Now and I mean right now you want to try it! How do you know that it even tastes good? ¡°

Alice: ¡°I saw people at party. They drink it and they looked happy!¡±

Dave: <On a side note, never, never underestimate the power a television advertisement has on an inquisitive, impulsive Chinese woman! This looks like a situation for ¡°Logic Man!¡± Logic man is a super hero that lives in my deepest dreams! He is able to tell the difference between realities and fantasy eight out of ten times! He is able to tell the difference between Ad Hominem and a slippery slope argument, seven out of ten times. Little did Logic man realize that he would soon test his SUPER logic against a Chinese woman¡¯s 5,000 years of culture! However, I digress. > ¡°Darling do you remember when we went to the mall, and you saw the neat stand-up figures of men and women in uniform at the Armed Forces Recruiting office?¡±

Alice: ¡°Yesssss¡±

Dave: ¡°Remember how happy they looked?¡±

Alice: ¡°Yesssss¡±

Dave: ¡°Remember you asked me if I would join again?¡±

Alice: ¡°Yesssss¡±

Dave: ¡°Why didn¡¯t I join?¡±

Alice: ¡°You said you were too old now! You told me that people in the Armed Forces don¡¯t look this happy and that it was a type of preprogam panda to have people join. They needed happy faces! Right?¡±

Dave: ¡°Yes that is almost right honey! Except it is not a ¡°preporgram panda!¡± < Note to self: Always have translator with you! > It is propaganda! Do you remember what I said their faces would look like it they knew they were being deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan?¡±

Alice: ¡°They would look sad! Am I right Lampo?¡±

Dave: ¡°Yes darling. Darling the same thing is going on in these commercials. They all look happy, true?¡±

Alice: ¡°Yes they are happy.¡±

Dave: Didn¡¯t I tell you that propaganda and American advertising are almost the same thing?¡±

Alice: ¡°Yesssssssss.¡±

Dave: ¡°Maybe they are drunk, OK? Whatever! The point is, television commercials want everyone happy, so you buy their product! You don¡¯t even drink anything stronger than wine coolers. You had a half of one two nights ago, and you said you felt dizzy! Remember?¡±

Alice: ¡°Yes I remember! Just a minute Lampo! I want to think!¡±

Dave: < Thank God! Logic and reasoning have finally ¡°won one for the home team!¡± > ¡°Ok honey, you think! I will go back and read OK?¡±

Alice: ¡°OK.¡±

 

Alice sits in the chair pondering deeply. Logic Man¡¯s demise is close at hand!

 

5 minutes pass¡­¡­

 

Alice: ¡°Lampo, China Government cares for its people, is this true?¡±

Dave: ¡°Uhhhhhhh, yeah it¡¯s true. It¡¯s not the same as the US, but they care.¡±

Alice: ¡°Chinese government let people play at Jianxi Square, didn¡¯t they?¡±

Dave: ¡°Uhhhhhhhhh yes?!?¡±

Alice: ¡°They gave liqueur away there didn¡¯t they?¡±

Dave: ¡°Yes¡±

Alice: ¡°Chinese government knew about it then, right?¡±

Dave: ¡°Uhhhhhhhhh, yeah?¡±

Alice: ¡°Then this liqueur must be good for Chinese people since they gave it away, the government knew about it, and the government knew that it was ok for the people! People in Jiangxi Square looked happy like the people on TV. So it must be good for Chinese and American people.¡±

 

What is left of Logic Man¡¯s reasoning¡¯s lays in ruins around his feet!

 

Dave: ¡°Give me thirty minutes darling!¡± To this day she enjoys quaffing Bailey¡¯s Irish Cr¨¨me Liqueur. If I get a hold of the bastard that ever let that man into Jianxi Square, I will be in the ¡°big house¡± for a long, long time.

 

Better yet if my does become addicted to his product, I will personally send him over and have him spin 24hours of logic with a Chinese woman.

 

Take care all. Alice and I will be gone for three weeks on business trip in Canada.

 

Say! Speak of a great idea! Turn my wife¡¯s 5,000 years of culture and logic onto the Canadian¡¯s society.

 

Nahhhhhhhhhhh! Better not! They probably would attack the US for unleashing a Thinking/Logic device of Mass Destruction onto their sovereign space.

 

I will be checking and reading.

 

 

 

Dave

[Thomas Promise]

Unique Story Dave. Good Luck.

[Dan R]

Stop wasting time man! Go with the flow and stop resisting training. There is no direct translation between English and Chinese for logic. It is just too culturally bound. Your resistance is futile.

 

Now go make her and you a Bailey's. Sit down with her and thank her for introducing you to such a nice drink that makes you sleep well.

 

Enjoy

[Robert S.]

Bailey's is darn good stuff, but you could not buy it at 9 PM in Alabama, the liquor is controlled by the state and the state stores close at 6. Does Oklahoma have privately owned liquor stores? Even if they did, they probably were not open later than 9 PM. You probably could have gotten out of it. Where did you find Bailey's that late at night? Or you could have turned the thing a different way and told her you could only get it at a bar in the nighttime and that would cost at least $6 a shot, which would have been too expensive for her to agree to and you could have got out of it that way. Don't give in to the "training" but instead you can train her. It does work over a long period of time. They can learn to be more logical, believe it or not. Dan is correct in using sweet talk also, in its place. Ha, 5000 years of culture - whatever - our culture is older, very very much older and goes back to the cave paintings and then to the invention of agriculture at about 10,000 years ago, then to the ancient Egyptians, the Phoenicians, the ancient Greek culture, the Romans and then just a couple thousand years into modern times. The earliest art work was a sculpture of a horse found in a cave in Europe dating to 40,000 years ago!!! We have vestiges in our culture from those earliest times.

Edited November 6, 2006 by Robert S. (see edit history)

[ptcrusier333rph]

Bailey's is darn good stuff, but you could not buy it at 9 PM in Alabama, the liquor is controlled by the state and the state stores close at 6. Does Oklahoma have privately owned liquor stores? Even if they did, they probably were not open later than 9 PM. You probably could have gotten out of it. Where did you find Bailey's that late at night? Or you could have turned the thing a different way and told her you could only get it at a bar in the nighttime and that would cost at least $6 a shot, which would have been too expensive for her to agree to and you could have got out of it that way. Don't give in to the "training" but instead you can train her. It does work over a long period of time. They can learn to be more logical, believe it or not. Dan is correct in using sweet talk also, in its place. Ha, 5000 years of culture - whatever - our culture is older, very very much older and goes back to the cave paintings and then to the invention of agriculture at about 10,000 years ago, then to the ancient Egyptians, the Phoenicians, the ancient Greek culture, the Romans and then just a couple thousand years into modern times. The earliest art work was a sculpture of a horse found in a cave in Europe dating to 40,000 years ago!!! We have vestiges in our culture from those earliest times.

 

 

you talking about oklahoma you can buy any beer to 1 am. Missouri you can buy beer to 1 am. not sure about the south but we mid westerner know beer has to be sold to 1 am how else you survive to daylight without drinking??????

 

unless you have a SO that put you on the wagon. still waiting to get off

[SheLikesME?]

How does one come up with the date of when a rock was carved? 40K old horse sculpture? OK

 

 

Cerberus Dave,

Ha HA HA. OK.

 

Now what did I do to make this story happen. Hey I enjoyed it.

 

You know I.....................................uh..............................stood ................... well actually I called up and started chewing on the wife about a few points that had been in my crawl. She wept, and oh geeze what to do now. Before the conversation is over with, her logic seems to me to start to be the winner. I begin thinking, I started this fight - not you. I thought I was winning when the crying started. WRONG!!

 

2story house? Dave, no matter what I say about having a log house in a mini-forest with a stram in the back yard, hmmm.................well I am old and have no ambition. She wants a nice house (2 story has slipped out so many time, but not lately). This keeping up with the Joneses is beginning to show it's face. Ahh Haa, true colors are showing. Never mind the fact that people were lined up to buy this house and they already had a contract. I put on a 2nd and eventually got the house. People cried when they found out it was sold. To the Chinese a log house is old, VERY OLD! Never mind it is the newest house I ever owned.

 

Anyway Dave your story reminds me of my situation. I decided to change tactics. I don't call or apear on the computer. So guess what? SHE calls ME. Wow. So she is taling very nice then BAM, more opinions about sleeping in late. WHAT TIME DID YOU GET HOME LAST NIGHT? Dear you don't want to know. Now the sermon starts but ever nicer than usual about how she wants to live, and wants me to live. Telling her that her here in my arms would make me sleep regular hours doesn't even make a dent in this topic.

 

Yep Dave we are all doomed. I don't think I will have a problem with TV adds. Haha, or will I? Doomed. B)

[Cerberus]

Bailey's is darn good stuff, but you could not buy it at 9 PM in Alabama, the liquor is controlled by the state and the state stores close at 6. Does Oklahoma have privately owned liquor stores? Even if they did, they probably were not open later than 9 PM. You probably could have gotten out of it. Where did you find Bailey's that late at night? Or you could have turned the thing a different way and told her you could only get it at a bar in the nighttime and that would cost at least $6 a shot, which would have been too expensive for her to agree to and you could have got out of it that way. Don't give in to the "training" but instead you can train her. It does work over a long period of time. They can learn to be more logical, believe it or not. Dan is correct in using sweet talk also, in its place. Ha, 5000 years of culture - whatever - our culture is older, very very much older and goes back to the cave paintings and then to the invention of agriculture at about 10,000 years ago, then to the ancient Egyptians, the Phoenicians, the ancient Greek culture, the Romans and then just a couple thousand years into modern times. The earliest art work was a sculpture of a horse found in a cave in Europe dating to 40,000 years ago!!! We have vestiges in our culture from those earliest times.

Robert,

 

We are well within a short driving distance of many northern Oklahoma City package stores. 20 minutes at max! Liquor stores are they are privately owned, but run under strict state regulations. Close at 9:00PM. They sell beer and wine in both. However, beer will not be sold unless it is imported in same liquor stores.

 

My take on this;

 

They keep the beer out since they (State of Okla), doesn't want Native Americans doing either boilermakers or becoming winos.

 

Regard to $6.00 a shot:

 

1) Wife knows exactly how much I make. A long time ago I was worried about a co-sponsor and if I exceeded the Federeal poverty guidelines. I looked at my grosss earnings as of late and in 6 months it exceeds it by 1,0273%. Like I said, money is not an issue and we are in need of nothing.

 

2) Train a Chinese woman. Hmmmmmmmmmm that is an intresting thought, Something akin to spraypaintining a tiger white and callinig it a kitty cat! The stubborness, resiliency and love of a Chinese woman sometimes leaves me extrenely surprised. Progress can be made! However, in the end, the lKttycat is still a tiger!

 

3) Speaking of stubborness. Trying to get Alice to forget 5,000 years of culture! LOL I have as much chance knocking the train off the tracks. She does love her moitherland dearly

 

Dave

[Cerberus]

How does one come up with the date of when a rock was carved? 40K old horse sculpture? OK

 

 

Cerberus Dave,

Ha HA HA. OK.

 

Now what did I do to make this story happen. Hey I enjoyed it.

 

You know I.....................................uh..............................stood ................... well actually I called up and started chewing on the wife about a few points that had been in my crawl. She wept, and oh geeze what to do now. Before the conversation is over with, her logic seems to me to start to be the winner. I begin thinking, I started this fight - not you. I thought I was winning when the crying started. WRONG!!

 

2story house? Dave, no matter what I say about having a log house in a mini-forest with a stram in the back yard, hmmm.................well I am old and have no ambition. She wants a nice house (2 story has slipped out so many time, but not lately). This keeping up with the Joneses is beginning to show it's face. Ahh Haa, true colors are showing. Never mind the fact that people were lined up to buy this house and they already had a contract. I put on a 2nd and eventually got the house. People cried when they found out it was sold. To the Chinese a log house is old, VERY OLD! Never mind it is the newest house I ever owned.

 

Anyway Dave your story reminds me of my situation. I decided to change tactics. I don't call or apear on the computer. So guess what? SHE calls ME. Wow. So she is taling very nice then BAM, more opinions about sleeping in late. WHAT TIME DID YOU GET HOME LAST NIGHT? Dear you don't want to know. Now the sermon starts but ever nicer than usual about how she wants to live, and wants me to live. Telling her that her here in my arms would make me sleep regular hours doesn't even make a dent in this topic.

 

Yep Dave we are all doomed. I don't think I will have a problem with TV adds. Haha, or will I? Doomed. B)

Doeg,

 

 

Dum, dum dum deee DUM!

 

Doomed! LOL If they don't get you one way, they get you another.

 

Dave

[Cerberus]

Stop wasting time man! Go with the flow and stop resisting training. There is no direct translation between English and Chinese for logic. It is just too culturally bound. Your resistance is futile.

 

Now go make her and you a Bailey's. Sit down with her and thank her for introducing you to such a nice drink that makes you sleep well.

 

Enjoy B)

Dan,

 

No can do! I started at 13 at the "tit" of a moonshine still my grandfather ran! Hate boilermakers, but love my Jim Beam and Glenfiddich 18 year single malt! I refuse to become "yuppiefied!"

 

I think that we are both training eash other. I keep having this nagging voice that states to try and make deals in Wal Matys everywhere. She has this weird idea of purchasing a car to fit into US society. Right now it is a Corvette. God have mercy if she a Boxter or the like!

 

Dave

[SheLikesME?]

Mine has a brother who was filling her head full of car ideas. What do I do if she wants a Merc (Mercedes) or a B-Mer? Corvette? I could settle for that. But bad gas milage she probably will say.

[Dan R]

Stop wasting time man! Go with the flow and stop resisting training. There is no direct translation between English and Chinese for logic. It is just too culturally bound. Your resistance is futile.

 

Now go make her and you a Bailey's. Sit down with her and thank her for introducing you to such a nice drink that makes you sleep well.

 

Enjoy B)

Dan,

 

No can do! I think that we are both training eash other. Dave

 

Yeh right, keep us informed on the saga of fitting a big round peg to a small square hole. Let us know which wears down more but remember Chinese women WILL go their way even if it regards American things you thought you explained. Oh and of course she is right.

[Robert S.]

How does one come up with the date of when a rock was carved? 40K old horse sculpture? OK

Right, the piece of rock is not something that can be dated, but the layer of soil that it was found in can be dated by the organic material in it and then using dating techniques like carbon-14. Check out these objects from from 30,000 years ago.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/science/12/17...tart/index.html

[Cerberus]

Mine has a brother who was filling her head full of car ideas. What do I do if she wants a Merc (Mercedes) or a B-Mer? Corvette? I could settle for that. But bad gas milage she probably will say.

Doug,

 

Remember the post that I did? There was a particular quote that I made in it. Remember what I said many husbands and/or wifes have interchangable roles in my "misadventures?"

 

Still wondering? I will quote myself and fill in your name in the place of mine!

 

"Get the HELL of the tracks! Here comes the Beijing, Nanning,Shanghai,Kumin, Shenzen and Sichuan Express Bullet Train! Whooooo Whoooo! Next victim is you DOUG! "

 

ROFLMAO!

 

36hrs and counting then.........

 

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/9134/mbpic12.jpg

 

Take care all. I hope that my wife looks sexy in mukluks! < From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia; Mukluks or Kamik (singular: kamak) are a soft boot traditionally made of reindeer skin or sealskin and worn by Arctic native Americans, including the Inuit and Yupik. >

[SheLikesME?]

I know, I know, I know.

 

What ever I do will be wrong, or will get picked to death. So I will just help her find a job, and she can buy what ever she wants. I know the questions. This is beautiful car? Because she doesn't really know. She will read every moveement on my face. She just wants to "fit in" with a upper middle class. Beijing express.

 

What ever someone at her job is driving I am sure she will want the same, or better. Am I headed for a situation......................yes, never mind.

 

She mentions the oil a car usses. But I feel when it comes to HER car. Hahaha. We will see. I shall report a year from now.