How to show your love to a Chinese Woman?

[NewDay2006]

Ok, on the flip side... how do yo know they love you? Now and in the future?

237494[/snapback]

Aw, you can see it in her eyes and tell by her kiss, silly.

237496[/snapback]

Sounds good Playa, but the kisses and the eyes have lied to many before.

 

I was hoping for something with more substance M.A.

Edited August 15, 2006 by NewDay2006 (see edit history)

[woainilin]

Awwwwwwwww you guys are so romantic .. Doesn't sound like the guys from Twisted Candle that I'm used to ha ha ........

[woainilin]

Ok .. now that I am done teasing you all .. Send her something in the mail. Perhaps some American chocolate .. some pictures .. small gift. My SO said that it was when I told him I would send him something .. and it really arrived that he knew I was for real and he was hooked. Many people send useless words then go away .. as everyone is saying . it is the action that sets your name in stone in her heart not the words.

[mercator]

Hello everyone! On my last chat with my sweetheart we got into the discussion of how would she know that I really loved her...I told her the things that I know and how I felt but she said that I should learn the ways of chinese culture to show a woman you love her...Can anyone help me out here...I would really like to impress her. We are very happy right now but anyways I can increase our bond will only make it even stronger...

 

Here is the conversation:

Lily: Can you tell me what will you to let me follow you

Me: I will love you foever

Me: forever

Lily: How I can know that?

Me: You will feel it in my kisses

Lily: Not enough

Me: and see it in my eyes

Lily: You should learn some Chinese culture to know how to show your love to Chinese girl

 

I did a search on the internet but did not come up with much...Can anyone help me on this one?

Your friend,

Victor

237481[/snapback]

Get ready for alot of game playing.

 

ALOT of game playing.

 

Call it coy and coquettish, call it whatever, but you will play. It can wear on your self-esteem a little having to coax and cajole, but realizing its just the game and how it is played, you will get into it and enjoy it.

 

Above all know that words mean diddly. Action speaks volumes.

[LeeFisher3]

Hello everyone! On my last chat with my sweetheart we got into the discussion of how would she know that I really loved her...I told her the things that I know and how I felt but she said that I should learn the ways of chinese culture to show a woman you love her...Can anyone help me out here...I would really like to impress her. We are very happy right now but anyways I can increase our bond will only make it even stronger...

 

Here is the conversation:

Lily: Can you tell me what will you to let me follow you

Me: I will love you foever

Me: forever

Lily: How I can know that?

Me: You will feel it in my kisses

Lily: Not enough

Me: and see it in my eyes

Lily: You should learn some Chinese culture to know how to show your love to Chinese girl

 

I did a search on the internet but did not come up with much...Can anyone help me on this one?

Your friend,

Victor

237481[/snapback]

Get ready for alot of game playing.

 

ALOT of game playing.

 

Call it coy and coquettish, call it whatever, but you will play. It can wear on your self-esteem a little having to coax and cajole, but realizing its just the game and how it is played, you will get into it and enjoy it.

 

Above all know that words mean diddly. Action speaks volumes.

237671[/snapback]

And don't forget about the bed.

[JamesnYuHong]

Seems she has financial/material/security-related things on her mind. She doesn't want to hear about a bunch of fluffy romantic stuff.

[SheLikesME?]

Go to China a couple of times, visit a few cities and

create some memories.

 

 

Ctrip can help you with an itinary.

http://english.ctrip.com/Destinations/DestinationGuides.asp

 

I think Chinese ladies are a bit more action orientated.

237486[/snapback]

Yep he started this right. It is real when you actually take the time, get the visa, spend the money, make the effort, and show up.

 

One thing my wife said that a girl wants something but will not ask. Merc has it right.

 

MERC YOU SHOWED UP AGAIN. HOWDY. And yes read about forboding beds, if this turns into a commitment/marriage. Just so you are prepared, incase.

[tywy_99]

How to show your love to a Chinese Woman?

 

Very Carefully!

[SheLikesME?]

............I echo Charles thought. Would it be appropriate to ask her the same question? Afterall this is a two way street.

Dennis, there have been more than a few disasters here. Everybody needs to do their homework.

 

Ken

237501[/snapback]

Understood, Ken. However, more than just offering Victor the essence of love through a Chinese woman’s perspective, I wonder if, by similar token, would it not be even more beneficial to try to point out to Victor that even though he is feeling all of the goo goo ga ga emotions of love right now these are rather silly notions to some if not most Chinese women and these feelings have not one iota for a foundation of long-term security for him nor her.

I suppose my response to Charles was in some way hoping that I could facetiously point this out.

 

I need to expand on this a bit. Arranged marriages have been part of Chinese culture for generations and is still practiced today, whether knowingly or not. I now believe, and understand, how most of these marriages we enter are arranged marriages too. I believe the foundation of many Chinese women is to marry someone based on security more than love. This is a pretty alien concept to the western views of romantic love and marriage. The arrangement that we enter is that we want someone who is undyingly loyal to us and family, whereas they want someone who will provide and take care of them forever, (and this may also include their immediate and extended family in this arrangement).

 

Yes, Victor is wise to do some homework re this. He will have a tremendous head start in having a less stressful and misunderstood relationship.

237509[/snapback]

Dennis your post here has been on my mind so much. It hits me to the heart. I simply was not prepared for my wife. I came out of a costly divorce, but the ex did give me the oportunity to take back her house recently to make up what I spent to get that marriage over. Not only that, the fact that I did not live my life in a way that a house was paid for regardless of a spouse or divorce, just falls short of what a good Chinese lady expects of a man of my age. It really hits me hard because of the shattering hurt my wife felt when she comprehended what I had been trying to tell her from the beginning. It seems that my goo goo spilled over to her and made her so goo goo that she just didn't pay attention at first. I thought she understood, or I would have done things a bit different I am sure.

 

We are over this now, but the stone is still there and being dealt with. So I encourage anyone looking to China to follow what you and others have said here. There is nothing worse than going through a weekend of crying and pain like what she went through. I am not sure if cheating on her would have been any worse. Yet she is not money hungry, she just wants a smooth life. Your words describe things to me the best.

 

Bottom line I feel a strong regret and sometimes a bit unworthy of this fine lady. Wish I had fully understood before we married, or before we met.

[sweattrl1]

............I echo Charles thought. Would it be appropriate to ask her the same question? Afterall this is a two way street.

Dennis, there have been more than a few disasters here. Everybody needs to do their homework.

 

Ken

237501[/snapback]

Understood, Ken. However, more than just offering Victor the essence of love through a Chinese woman’s perspective, I wonder if, by similar token, would it not be even more beneficial to try to point out to Victor that even though he is feeling all of the goo goo ga ga emotions of love right now these are rather silly notions to some if not most Chinese women and these feelings have not one iota for a foundation of long-term security for him nor her.

I suppose my response to Charles was in some way hoping that I could facetiously point this out.

 

I need to expand on this a bit. Arranged marriages have been part of Chinese culture for generations and is still practiced today, whether knowingly or not. I now believe, and understand, how most of these marriages we enter are arranged marriages too. I believe the foundation of many Chinese women is to marry someone based on security more than love. This is a pretty alien concept to the western views of romantic love and marriage. The arrangement that we enter is that we want someone who is undyingly loyal to us and family, whereas they want someone who will provide and take care of them forever, (and this may also include their immediate and extended family in this arrangement).

 

Yes, Victor is wise to do some homework re this. He will have a tremendous head start in having a less stressful and misunderstood relationship.

237509[/snapback]

Dennis your post here has been on my mind so much. It hits me to the heart. I simply was not prepared for my wife. I came out of a costly divorce, but the ex did give me the oportunity to take back her house recently to make up what I spent to get that marriage over. Not only that, the fact that I did not live my life in a way that a house was paid for regardless of a spouse or divorce, just falls short of what a good Chinese lady expects of a man of my age. It really hits me hard because of the shattering hurt my wife felt when she comprehended what I had been trying to tell her from the beginning. It seems that my goo goo spilled over to her and made her so goo goo that she just didn't pay attention at first. I thought she understood, or I would have done things a bit different I am sure.

 

We are over this now, but the stone is still there and being dealt with. So I encourage anyone looking to China to follow what you and others have said here. There is nothing worse than going through a weekend of crying and pain like what she went through. I am not sure if cheating on her would have been any worse. Yet she is not money hungry, she just wants a smooth life. Your words describe things to me the best.

 

Bottom line I feel a strong regret and sometimes a bit unworthy of this fine lady. Wish I had fully understood before we married, or before we met.

238395[/snapback]

i really took time to read what each of you wrote , and i must say to each of you , well done , this will in the future be like a hand book for most new relationships , so educational, and true, i wish i could have had this as a guide when i first started talking to my SO, i look at where we started and where we are now ,i had to learn the hard way , same as most of you, but again thank you , for the help you give and the ones you help, GOD bless you all

Edited August 24, 2006 by sweattrl1 (see edit history)

[SmilingAsia]

Buy her a good eyebrow tweezer . She will think you are caring and loving.

[warpedbored]

Buy her a good eyebrow tweezer . She will think you are caring and loving.

Then she will say you think she is too hairy and be insulted.

[Rakkasan]

As has been said here before, do not be elaborate. She will appreciate small things, moisturizing lotions, chocolate, a card from you with a short note mailed from the US. These things will get her attention.

 

Security is very important to her although she will not tell you this. Plan your trip to China very carefully, decide on an itinery with her before you arrive, but plan on spending a lot of time during your trip meeting family members. Everyone from parents and siblings to aunts, uncles, grandparents and life long school friends.

 

She will be wanting to show you off to show everyone that you did travel half way around the world just to see her as well as get their nod of approval. This is where other small gifts for relatives are important. I brought a dozen bottles of Victoria Secret Garden lotions for the ladies in assorted scents as well as a dozen Mini-Mag flashlights for the men (they are made in the USA and are greatly appreciated). Also, remember when meeting family members the oldest male is greeted first down through youngest male, then greet women in the same manner, oldest to youngest.

 

If you have never been to China or other Asian country (outside of 60's/70's military service)you are in for a very pleasant experience. Bring a digital camera and plenty of memory sticks for this will be the best ride of your life.

 

Sit back and enjoy

[izus]

the chinese girl does not use our normal way of thinking...

everything is shown by action....

 

she might throw you a curve ball just to see how you react to it.

trust her no matter what....

 

 

isnt that whats its all about anyway.

 

throw all your heart into it.....

 

she'll see your sincerity and eat it up.

 

dont forget what she is giving up,

everything.

[SheLikesME?]

the chinese girl does not use our normal way of thinking...

everything is shown by action....

 

she might throw you a curve ball just to see how you react to it.

trust her no matter what....

 

 

isnt that whats its all about anyway.

 

throw all your heart into it.....

 

she'll see your sincerity and eat it up.

 

dont forget what she is giving up,

everything.

This really hits home today.

Edited September 7, 2006 by SheLikesME (see edit history)