friends of the opposite sex

[david_dawei]

This has been discussed in the past, but not so much recently..

 

My wife follows the concept that a friend is a friend; no gender distinction is usually needed. While in China, she often would go out with men, usually in groups but it was not unsually for her to go just with a man. While there, I was introduced to many [male] friends.. and it was clear they were good friends.

 

Now that my wife's been here for about 10 months, she is obviously not around them.. but I often remind her to call them, particularly if I'm aware that she has not for a while (meaning, she usually will do it).

 

She has had no problems with me talking to women.. she'll often tell a new female friend to call me, particularly if it's a question about green card... In fact, they are often calling me more than her , but she doesn't care.

 

So, we both talk to and email with people of the opposite sex friends... it's just a friend to both of us.

 

--------

 

past posts:

 

friends of the opposite sex, should there be rules?

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=7654

 

Friendship between male and female, Do you believe?

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=13762

 

SO and Friends of the Opposite Gender, Regarding girl/boy "friends"

http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=10936

Edited July 17, 2006 by DavidZixuan (see edit history)

[Joanne]

I agree with Zixuan: a friend is a friend, no gender distinction is needed. However, there is more restrictions on the shared activities with male friends.

 

However, after living in Philadelphia for a little while, I start to become watchful for hubby's male friends.

Edited July 18, 2006 by Joanne (see edit history)

[Dennis143]

My attitude has changed a bit about this, since living with Leiqin and seeing her long standing friendships with male (and female) classmates in China whom she keeps in contact with and by her completely non-jealous attitude with me and our many single and attractive Chinese female friends, whom I can't help but to flirt with.

 

Even though, in the western sense, I still believe that western males do tend to maintain friendships with western females whom they ARE primarily attracted to, it has been a refreshing change for me to finally be with a woman who never displays any sense of jealousy - ever. In fact, she will often tell me to get a girlfiend, if I want! I just tell her that she is "shagua lao po".

Edited July 18, 2006 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[david_dawei]

sometimes my wife will not use names.. just say "a friend".. I think in a western relationship, one would quickly get suspicious of such "non-distinction" as if something is being hidden... Ok, just the name is hidden, not for gender reasons.

 

She always refers to Joanne as my friend... the other day, she asked about your daughters name out of the blue... maybe didn't know what to call her ... After spending a half hour playing with her on our visit, I'll call her my friend as well

 

I was wondering how some were feeling since their SOs are here.. as Dennis says his attitude has changed a bit... hope to hear some more...

[david_dawei]

gEEZZZZ, and I suffer from intense jealousy fits. Seems any female I knew before she got here is on her hit list.

231665[/snapback]

That is a very good distinction: I should qualify that any friend today is not one based on a physical relationship in the past...

 

My wife made that very clear... And for all the rest her comment was basically, "if shes not your lover, no problem"...

[lostinblue]

I'm jealous of my SO's female friends,expecially his ex Chinese girlfriend,even now she is married, I have a American male friend,I think his Chinese wife feel same way.

[egolessvegan]

........David:

 

I get a good chuckle every time this topic comes up. Everybody puts up a good front. It is kind of a macho thing to do. However, it is a different matter when it hits home. Maybe I live in a different world, but no men that I have ever known want their wives having close relationships with other men.

 

In My Old School Humble Opinion it is inappropriate to have these types of relationships. Don't get married if you feel the need to do so. This is one of the sacrifices you make when entering into marriage. Time to grow up and be responsible and accountable.

Sorry to rain on everyone's parade.

 

Ken

[egolessvegan]

Most men have one thing on their mind. (comment based on my opinion and not fact).............

[SmilingAsia]

I almost have no male friends, but I do have a few very close female friends who will support me in good times and bad times.

So far, I don't get along well with guys and I don't know why.

 

You know, guys come and go, girl friends stay forever.

[SheLikesME?]

Hmm, I have a problem with this. Guess I am in egoslave's court. I tried to fight it, but hey when a guy starts to take up way more tme on the phone with her than me or her daughter, well I put my foot down. I don't like the way I handled it at all.