Why do they go for so long?

[Mengxin]

I didn't hear anyone meantion "home sickness".

 

She misses home, and like Trigg said... I miss Vegas too.

 

Amy refers to Vegas as hell on earth. Watching the money flow into the slots like water over Niagra Falls is heart wrenching for her, but oddly enough she's allways willing and eager to contribute to the cause.

We're going back to China in the fall. It will be her 1st time back snce being here in the states. We're going together.

Edited June 25, 2006 by Mengxin (see edit history)

[egolessvegan]

........This topic has created some very spirited debate. I feel a need to express myself in one more post.

 

First, let me say that I greatly respect everyone's opinion on this board regarding this and all topics. Unfortunately, often it seems that if someone disagrees with the "house" they have to walk on egg shells and eventually will get attacked. So with this in mind I still choose to differ from the majority.

 

In my previous post I never said that one should deny his wife the opportunity to return to China for a visit. All I said that a visit of more than a month seems excessive in light of the fact that when a man and woman marry there needs to be a sense of comittment, responsibility, and dedication to each other. And yes, this sometimes comes at the expense of making sacrifices.

 

I honestly do not understand the rationale of why some members say it is acceptable for their wives to make visits that extend 2, 3, or more months. Would 6 months, one year, or an an indefinite amount of time also be acceptable?

 

Perhaps most of us feel so fortunate to have found a beautiful and young wife, that we darE not do anything to upset the applecart.

 

My wife has been in the US for 16 months. She misses her brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, shopping, the food, etc., etc.. But guess what?She made a conscious choice to come to this country to make a better life for herself and children. She is focused on her life here.

 

June of 2007 she will make a visit to China for one month to see her family and enjoy herself. I am excited for her and the children to have this opportunity.

 

The reality of the situation is, none of us want to be apart for any extended period of time. We worked hard and long to make this happen.

 

There is no right and wrong on this topic because we are all individuals and we all think and perceive differently. We are all very good at rationalizing our own points of view on this forum. Over time, we have mastered this. None of us want to appear weak or wrong.

 

Our egos aside, does anyone honestly feel months of seperation is appropriate.

 

If your marriage is based on love, I see no reason to be 8,000 miles apart for months. After all isn't this what we were whining about during the visa process?

 

THIS ENTIRE POST WAS BASED ON MY OPINION AND NOT FACTS.

[Rakkasan]

For what it's worth, Americans tend to make vacations short excursions and jam as much activity into them as possible, thus the need to get back to work to rest after your vacation. People in Europe, Austraila and Asia tend to take their vacations for a month or more so they are not rushed and can enjoy their holiday.

 

In the case of Chinese wives, the Chinese in general are very social people with large groups of friends and close family ties. It is understandable that a SO returning home to China would want to visit as many friends as possible and tell all about her new life in America (or whatever country she happens to be living). If you packed up and left the US to live with her in China and after 18 months were given the opportunity to return home, would you not try to see as many old friends and relatives as possible and tell them about your new life in China. Besides, the airfare for 2 weeks or 6 weeks is the same. Best to get as much visiting time as you can for the money.

 

Also, absence makes the heart grow fonder......... Think how great it will be when she returns.

Edited June 25, 2006 by Rakkasan (see edit history)

[LeeFisher3]

.....

I agree with Mercator. Any visits of more than a month seem excessive.

To me the point being missed here, is once you enter into a marriage there needs to be a commitment to one another that is more powerful than any other factor in your life. IF YOU DO NOT FEEL THIS , PERHAPS YOU MARRIED THE WRONG PERSON.

 

No matter what the circumstances, my wife and children are NUMBER ONE priority all the time. So the rest of my family, friends, activities, etc take a backseat to them.

 

 

Maybe I am old school. Call me what you want, but I am proud to say that nothing is more important to me than my wife and children.

 

THIS POST IS BASED ENTIRELY ON OPINION!

 

Ken

226269[/snapback]

To all the husbands out there would you voluntarily leave your wives for 2 or 3 months for any reason????

 

I doubt it!!!!!!!!

226271[/snapback]

I wouldn't leave her for any length of time, but then my family and friends all live close and we see them all the time.

 

Like others have said, it was less than a week before she was ready to come home.

 

But having her see her family is important to me too. The only question her oldest brother had for me was when did I think we could return to China again. Phone calls only go so far and her family is closer than most American families I have seen.

 

She worries about spending the money and being gone too long and I worry about both her and our son maintaining close family ties. It's a balance of taking care of each others needs and it is not all about me.

[Trigg]

........This topic has created some very spirited debate. I feel a need to express myself in one more post.

 

First, let me say that I greatly respect everyone's opinion on this board regarding this and all topics. Unfortunately, often it seems that if someone  disagrees with the "house" they have to walk on egg shells and eventually will get attacked. So with this in mind I still choose to differ from the majority.

 

In my previous post I never said that one should deny his wife the opportunity to return to China for a visit. All I said that a visit of more than a month seems excessive in light of the fact that when a man and woman marry there needs to be a sense of comittment, responsibility, and dedication to each other. And yes, this sometimes comes at the expense of making sacrifices.

 

I honestly do not understand the rationale of why some members say it is acceptable for their wives to make visits that extend 2, 3, or more months. Would 6 months, one year, or an an indefinite amount of time also be acceptable?

 

Perhaps most of us feel so fortunate to have found a beautiful and young wife, that we darE not do anything to upset the applecart.

 

My wife has been in the US for 16 months. She misses her brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, shopping, the food, etc., etc.. But guess what?She made a conscious choice to come to this country to make a better life for herself and children. She is focused on her life here.

 

June of 2007 she will make a visit to China for one month to see her family and enjoy herself. I am excited for her and the children to have this opportunity.

 

The reality of the situation is, none of us want to be apart for any extended period of time. We worked hard and long to make this happen.

 

There is  no right and wrong on this topic because we are all individuals and we all think and perceive differently. We are all very good at rationalizing our own points of view on this forum. Over time, we have mastered this. None of us want to appear weak or wrong.

 

Our egos aside, does anyone honestly feel months of seperation is appropriate.

 

If your marriage is based on love, I see no reason to be 8,000 miles apart for months. After all isn't this what we were whining about during the visa process?

 

THIS ENTIRE POST WAS BASED ON MY OPINION AND NOT FACTS.

226444[/snapback]

Let me see if i've got my facts straight. your wife is going to china for a month and thats ok. My wife will be gone for a month and a half and thats a no no in your opinion. So, how do you arrive at that figure??? How does one determine that x time is ok but x=1/2 is not??

 

Just had to ask!

[hakkamike]

........This topic has created some very spirited debate. I feel a need to express myself in one more post.

 

First, let me say that I greatly respect everyone's opinion on this board regarding this and all topics. Unfortunately, often it seems that if someone  disagrees with the "house" they have to walk on egg shells and eventually will get attacked. So with this in mind I still choose to differ from the majority.

 

In my previous post I never said that one should deny his wife the opportunity to return to China for a visit. All I said that a visit of more than a month seems excessive in light of the fact that when a man and woman marry there needs to be a sense of comittment, responsibility, and dedication to each other. And yes, this sometimes comes at the expense of making sacrifices.

 

I honestly do not understand the rationale of why some members say it is acceptable for their wives to make visits that extend 2, 3, or more months. Would 6 months, one year, or an an indefinite amount of time also be acceptable?

 

Perhaps most of us feel so fortunate to have found a beautiful and young wife, that we darE not do anything to upset the applecart.

 

My wife has been in the US for 16 months. She misses her brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, shopping, the food, etc., etc.. But guess what?She made a conscious choice to come to this country to make a better life for herself and children. She is focused on her life here.

 

June of 2007 she will make a visit to China for one month to see her family and enjoy herself. I am excited for her and the children to have this opportunity.

 

The reality of the situation is, none of us want to be apart for any extended period of time. We worked hard and long to make this happen.

 

There is  no right and wrong on this topic because we are all individuals and we all think and perceive differently. We are all very good at rationalizing our own points of view on this forum. Over time, we have mastered this. None of us want to appear weak or wrong.

 

Our egos aside, does anyone honestly feel months of seperation is appropriate.

 

If your marriage is based on love, I see no reason to be 8,000 miles apart for months. After all isn't this what we were whining about during the visa process?

 

THIS ENTIRE POST WAS BASED ON MY OPINION AND NOT FACTS.

226444[/snapback]

Let me see if i've got my facts straight. your wife is going to china for a month and thats ok. My wife will be gone for a month and a half and thats a no no in your opinion. So, how do you arrive at that figure??? How does one determine that x time is ok but x=1/2 is not??

 

Just had to ask!

226454[/snapback]

[stacato]

........This topic has created some very spirited debate. I feel a need to express myself in one more post.

 

First, let me say that I greatly respect everyone's opinion on this board regarding this and all topics. Unfortunately, often it seems that if someone  disagrees with the "house" they have to walk on egg shells and eventually will get attacked. So with this in mind I still choose to differ from the majority.

 

In my previous post I never said that one should deny his wife the opportunity to return to China for a visit. All I said that a visit of more than a month seems excessive in light of the fact that when a man and woman marry there needs to be a sense of comittment, responsibility, and dedication to each other. And yes, this sometimes comes at the expense of making sacrifices.

 

I honestly do not understand the rationale of why some members say it is acceptable for their wives to make visits that extend 2, 3, or more months. Would 6 months, one year, or an an indefinite amount of time also be acceptable?

 

Perhaps most of us feel so fortunate to have found a beautiful and young wife, that we darE not do anything to upset the applecart.

 

My wife has been in the US for 16 months. She misses her brothers, sisters, cousins, friends, shopping, the food, etc., etc.. But guess what?She made a conscious choice to come to this country to make a better life for herself and children. She is focused on her life here.

 

June of 2007 she will make a visit to China for one month to see her family and enjoy herself. I am excited for her and the children to have this opportunity.

 

The reality of the situation is, none of us want to be apart for any extended period of time. We worked hard and long to make this happen.

 

There is  no right and wrong on this topic because we are all individuals and we all think and perceive differently. We are all very good at rationalizing our own points of view on this forum. Over time, we have mastered this. None of us want to appear weak or wrong.

 

Our egos aside, does anyone honestly feel months of seperation is appropriate.

 

If your marriage is based on love, I see no reason to be 8,000 miles apart for months. After all isn't this what we were whining about during the visa process?

 

THIS ENTIRE POST WAS BASED ON MY OPINION AND NOT FACTS.

226444[/snapback]

I totally agree with you. Bear in mind that some people will always try to justify what happens to them, and come up with all kinds of excuses for their wives. It's natural.

 

I think when you are married, your first priority is your husband and kids.As for me , personally, I wouldn't mind my wife going to China every year for 3 weeks, one month. That is a long time in my book. If she wanted to stay for 2 or 3 month at a time, I would question her motives. Plain and simple. But that is just me. If someone is comfortable with their wife leaving for such a long time, then good for them.

 

I am not taliking about illnesses, emergeniceis, or special circumstances.

[egolessvegan]

.......Trigg:

I have a special numerical equation that is only known to I. At this time I cannot divulge this information. For a price I might be willing to bend my principles.

Ken

[Trigg]

.......Trigg:

I have a special numerical equation that is only known to I. At this time I cannot divulge this information. For a price I might be willing to bend my principles.

Ken

226470[/snapback]

Oh sure Ken--but are you using the new math??? My calculating goes something like this--

 

Actual time needed for wifey to say hello to all her family=2 weeks

 

Time needed for me to enjoy Vegas=1 week

 

Time needed for me to recover from vegas=1 week

 

Time needed to find 4 person house cleaning crew=1 week

 

Time needed for crew to shovel out most of my mess=1 week

 

Total vacation time for wife=6 weeks

 

Total time for me to heal after she sees house and depleted checkbook=LONG LONG TIME

 

So you see that not only is 6 weeks not too long, It is essential!!

[egolessvegan]

.......Trigg:

I have a special numerical equation that is only known to I. At this time I cannot divulge this information. For a price I might be willing to bend my principles.

Ken

226470[/snapback]

Oh sure Ken--but are you using the new math??? My calculating goes something like this--

 

Actual time needed for wifey to say hello to all her family=2 weeks

 

Time needed for me to enjoy Vegas=1 week

 

Time needed for me to recover from vegas=1 week

 

Time needed to find 4 person house cleaning crew=1 week

 

Time needed for crew to shovel out most of my mess=1 week

 

Total vacation time for wife=6 weeks

 

Total time for me to heal after she sees house and depleted checkbook=LONG LONG TIME

 

So you see that not only is 6 weeks not too long, It is essential!!

226473[/snapback]

Trigg: I will reassess my calculations and consult with my mentor Professor Irwin Corey and then report back to you.

 

Ken

[Trigg]

.......Trigg:

I have a special numerical equation that is only known to I. At this time I cannot divulge this information. For a price I might be willing to bend my principles.

Ken

226470[/snapback]

Oh sure Ken--but are you using the new math??? My calculating goes something like this--

 

Actual time needed for wifey to say hello to all her family=2 weeks

 

Time needed for me to enjoy Vegas=1 week

 

Time needed for me to recover from vegas=1 week

 

Time needed to find 4 person house cleaning crew=1 week

 

Time needed for crew to shovel out most of my mess=1 week

 

Total vacation time for wife=6 weeks

 

Total time for me to heal after she sees house and depleted checkbook=LONG LONG TIME

 

So you see that not only is 6 weeks not too long, It is essential!!

226473[/snapback]

Trigg: I will reassess my calculations and consult with my mentor Professor Irwin Corey and then report back to you.

 

Ken

226474[/snapback]

Alrighty but do remember that the prof did not have a Chinese wife and did not sneak off to Vegas and loose the family fortune---two very important confounds that need to be allowed for in his calculations!!!

[egolessvegan]

.......Trigg:

I have a special numerical equation that is only known to I. At this time I cannot divulge this information. For a price I might be willing to bend my principles.

Ken

226470[/snapback]

Oh sure Ken--but are you using the new math??? My calculating goes something like this--

 

Actual time needed for wifey to say hello to all her family=2 weeks

 

Time needed for me to enjoy Vegas=1 week

 

Time needed for me to recover from vegas=1 week

 

Time needed to find 4 person house cleaning crew=1 week

 

Time needed for crew to shovel out most of my mess=1 week

 

Total vacation time for wife=6 weeks

 

Total time for me to heal after she sees house and depleted checkbook=LONG LONG TIME

 

So you see that not only is 6 weeks not too long, It is essential!!

226473[/snapback]

Trigg: I will reassess my calculations and consult with my mentor Professor Irwin Corey and then report back to you.

 

Ken

226474[/snapback]

Alrighty but do remember that the prof did not have a Chinese wife and did not sneak off to Vegas and loose the family fortune---two very important confounds that need to be allowed for in his calculations!!!

226475[/snapback]

He will definitely factor that into the equation. Professor Irwin Corey is one of the geniuses of our lifetime. No task is too difficult for him. I will report back to you as soon as the data becomes available.

 

Ken

[Dan R]

.......Trigg:

I have a special numerical equation that is only known to I. At this time I cannot divulge this information. For a price I might be willing to bend my principles.

Ken

226470[/snapback]

Oh sure Ken--but are you using the new math??? My calculating goes something like this--

 

Actual time needed for wifey to say hello to all her family=2 weeks

 

Time needed for me to enjoy Vegas=1 week

 

Time needed for me to recover from vegas=1 week

 

Time needed to find 4 person house cleaning crew=1 week

 

Time needed for crew to shovel out most of my mess=1 week

 

Total vacation time for wife=6 weeks

 

Total time for me to heal after she sees house and depleted checkbook=LONG LONG TIME

 

So you see that not only is 6 weeks not too long, It is essential!!

226473[/snapback]

Trigg: I will reassess my calculations and consult with my mentor Professor Irwin Corey and then report back to you.

 

Ken

226474[/snapback]

Ken Trigg is just trying to sway you with Triglogic. Don't give in. Keep your system and market it. If you go with Triglogic you will find a consulting bill in your email I'm sure. Read the post again, Trigg needs any means possible to raise money and avoid a mop slap that will make history.

[egolessvegan]

.......Trigg:

I have a special numerical equation that is only known to I. At this time I cannot divulge this information. For a price I might be willing to bend my principles.

Ken

226470[/snapback]

Oh sure Ken--but are you using the new math??? My calculating goes something like this--

 

Actual time needed for wifey to say hello to all her family=2 weeks

 

Time needed for me to enjoy Vegas=1 week

 

Time needed for me to recover from vegas=1 week

 

Time needed to find 4 person house cleaning crew=1 week

 

Time needed for crew to shovel out most of my mess=1 week

 

Total vacation time for wife=6 weeks

 

Total time for me to heal after she sees house and depleted checkbook=LONG LONG TIME

 

So you see that not only is 6 weeks not too long, It is essential!!

226473[/snapback]

Trigg: I will reassess my calculations and consult with my mentor Professor Irwin Corey and then report back to you.

 

Ken

226474[/snapback]

Ken Trigg is just trying to sway you with Triglogic. Don't give in. Keep your system and market it. If you go with Triglogic you will find a consulting bill in your email I'm sure. Read the post again, Trigg needs any means possible to raise money and avoid a mop slap that will make history.

226477[/snapback]

Trigg:

 

Because of the unusual circumstances of this matter I will be forced to bring in another specialist in this field. The one and only Soupy Sales.

 

Ken

[Trigg]

.......Trigg:

I have a special numerical equation that is only known to I. At this time I cannot divulge this information. For a price I might be willing to bend my principles.

Ken

226470[/snapback]

Oh sure Ken--but are you using the new math??? My calculating goes something like this--

 

Actual time needed for wifey to say hello to all her family=2 weeks

 

Time needed for me to enjoy Vegas=1 week

 

Time needed for me to recover from vegas=1 week

 

Time needed to find 4 person house cleaning crew=1 week

 

Time needed for crew to shovel out most of my mess=1 week

 

Total vacation time for wife=6 weeks

 

Total time for me to heal after she sees house and depleted checkbook=LONG LONG TIME

 

So you see that not only is 6 weeks not too long, It is essential!!

226473[/snapback]

Trigg: I will reassess my calculations and consult with my mentor Professor Irwin Corey and then report back to you.

 

Ken

226474[/snapback]

Ken Trigg is just trying to sway you with Triglogic. Don't give in. Keep your system and market it. If you go with Triglogic you will find a consulting bill in your email I'm sure. Read the post again, Trigg needs any means possible to raise money and avoid a mop slap that will make history.

226477[/snapback]

Well DUH Dan!! Of course I'm trying to cover my oversize hiney. Oh, did I mention that wifey flies into LA on the 11th too late to catch a flight home. I told her i booked her a nice suit at the hotel Dan and I hired her a chauffeur to pick her up at the airport ant carry her half ton bags via Danny's skycap and goat skinning services??????