lapo leave

[philb]

a friend of mine, who also married a Chinese woman, just had one of her friends arrive on a K-1.

 

She was devastated when she arrived and viewed the financial position this guy was in. She wanted to get back on the airplane immediately.

She has decided to meet with my friend and his wife tonight and discuss her options; however, she is not inclined to stay...she says that he totally misled her.

 

So much for LOVE.

 

Phil

[Guest pushbrk]

a friend of mine, who also married a Chinese woman, just had one of her friends arrive on a K-1.

 

She was devastated when she arrived and viewed the financial position this guy was in.  She wanted to get back on the airplane immediately.

She has decided to meet with my friend and his wife tonight and discuss her options; however, she is not inclined to stay...she says that he totally misled her.

 

So much for LOVE.

 

Phil

213487[/snapback]

Trust is a key element in love.

[philb]

TRUTH ...and a reality check doesn't hurt either.

 

What is seemingly RICH in Nanning can translate to poverty in Houston, TX before the truth is stretched.

 

She had to have seen his financial status in the K-1 application process. However, this info may be hard to appreciate for a gal in China. However, if this guy did not discuss his situation; pictures of home; car, income level, education etc. There was a gap here. What did they talk about?

 

My Father used to tell me, "don't marry for money....but don't let it stand in the way". Let's face it; most of these women aren't departing to escape the oppressive Communist regime.

 

There are stories of Chinese women being wooed on the flight over, by a well heeled business man.

 

The best surprise may be no surprises,

 

Phil

[warpedbored]

Thanks guys for pointing out that it isn't always the American that gets duped. Many Chinese women are told thier prospective husbands are better off than they are only to find out he is living in abject poverty. In other cases they find out the man wants to control them or is abusive. Extreme cases such as Jany who found out too late her husband is convicted sex offender. Chinese women would be wise to have a background check done on their fiancees before coming here. Before my wife came I listed all of my assets and debts as well as how much my utility bills and everything were before she came. I didn't white wash anything to try and make me look better.

[m-coon]

The sign of a great Chinese woman is one who may not have understood the financial situation completely before moving here - but is so much in love or just so happy to be here with me - that she accepts it very well - and then says she will take a job to help with the finances!!!

[jemmyell]

Thanks guys for pointing out that it isn't always the American that gets duped.  Many Chinese women are told thier prospective husbands are better off than they are only to find out he is living in abject poverty. In other cases they find out the man wants to control them or is abusive.  Extreme cases such as Jany who found out too late her husband is convicted sex offender.  Chinese women would be wise to have a background check done on their fiancees before coming here. Before my wife came I listed all of my assets and debts as well as how much my utility bills and everything were before she came. I didn't white wash anything to try and make me look better.

213514[/snapback]

Hello,

 

Yes, I have done the same. It is best that we don't give our loved ones any more suprises than they will get just by coming to america.

 

-James

[Guest pushbrk]

Thanks guys for pointing out that it isn't always the American that gets duped.  Many Chinese women are told thier prospective husbands are better off than they are only to find out he is living in abject poverty. In other cases they find out the man wants to control them or is abusive.  Extreme cases such as Jany who found out too late her husband is convicted sex offender.  Chinese women would be wise to have a background check done on their fiancees before coming here. Before my wife came I listed all of my assets and debts as well as how much my utility bills and everything were before she came. I didn't white wash anything to try and make me look better.

213514[/snapback]

Hello,

 

Yes, I have done the same. It is best that we don't give our loved ones any more suprises than they will get just by coming to america.

 

-James

213632[/snapback]

Besides a mutual understanding of finances, my wife an step-daugher have seen pictures of the inside and outside of my domicile. I've also shown them the satelite view, so they see the distance between buildings and distance to shopping, how many homes have pools etc. They have also seen pictures of local scenery.

[jemmyell]

Thanks guys for pointing out that it isn't always the American that gets duped.  Many Chinese women are told thier prospective husbands are better off than they are only to find out he is living in abject poverty. In other cases they find out the man wants to control them or is abusive.  Extreme cases such as Jany who found out too late her husband is convicted sex offender.  Chinese women would be wise to have a background check done on their fiancees before coming here. Before my wife came I listed all of my assets and debts as well as how much my utility bills and everything were before she came. I didn't white wash anything to try and make me look better.

213514[/snapback]

Hello,

 

Yes, I have done the same. It is best that we don't give our loved ones any more suprises than they will get just by coming to america.

 

-James

213632[/snapback]

Besides a mutual understanding of finances, my wife an step-daugher have seen pictures of the inside and outside of my domicile. I've also shown them the satelite view, so they see the distance between buildings and distance to shopping, how many homes have pools etc. They have also seen pictures of local scenery.

213647[/snapback]

lol, Mike you have taken it to a new level!

 

I am now getting photos of the room addition we are doing for a master suite, and I will email those as the project progresses.

 

Taking photos of the local parks and satellite views is a GREAT idea!

 

I will also take photos of the school her daughter will attend, and the community college after that. They are both walking distance from our home.

 

-James

[SmilingAsia]

I saw a lady who returned to Guangzhou with her daughter. She has her own business in Guangzhou and speaks no English at all. She complained about her husband's financial situation in Arizona and also the cultural shock which she could not stand.

 

If you are dating ladies under 30 years old, you should visit her apartment (not only her mother's apartment). If she doesn't like your touching or pretends a stomachache when you want intimacy, red flag.

[david_dawei]

Trust and Truth.. it's all be argued before in the TC.. which as you know is the only reliable source of rational information

 

I will say that the one character trait that really matters is 'adaptability', and on both sides.

[philb]

Mike:

 

I'll take you one further. My SO's good girlfriend from Nanning (attending english school together) arrived in California 7 months ago. She and her two children have been invited to my apartment; driven in my car and gone to dinner together.

 

She most certainly has related all through her eyes (and Chinese mind) to my Lao Po. My Lao Po has seen my digs (small and not fancy) through the web cam as well as looking out the window at my car.

 

Interestingly, we are aware that we will require a larger abode. Her choice was to wait and decide together v.s. getting something all set up for her before she arrives.

 

I can't wait!

 

Phil