Jealous Colleagues

[LeeFisher3]

Love your new avatar Haps.  Loved the old one too.

 

Regarding the principle at her old school.  Just a thought........When my wife needed letters of recomendation to take an EMBA in Beijing, none of her former or present bosses wanted to make a letter.  One asked to just write one up and sign his name because he used words about like you said.  He didnt have time and not interested etc etc.  So we did write it up and she took it to him for HIM to sign.  You might keep this in mind, to do the same.  Of course your SO would have to go there or meet the principle somewhere else.  Maybe email it and see if he/she approves.  just another .02

201414[/snapback]

good suggestions, thanks.

 

I have a couple other avatars. Maybe I will change one with each new blue thingie!

 

I didn't get a picture with her parents while I was there. I want to do that quick when I get there before the interview. I also am going to get my brothers, sister, and parents to send her a letter in the mail as evidence that my family knows her. I also have pictures with her students and she took a picture of her and her students with our picture on the wall proving she had students after we met.

201463[/snapback]

Great idea, which gives me a more outragous idea!

 

Why not show up with your mom on the interview day. Then if a blue slip ever happens, you and your mom storm in there, and present your evidence. I think the fact that you have your mothers support in this will send a clear message that you are serious about this relationship.

 

I like to see them derail that!

201465[/snapback]

I thought the SO goes into the interview alone. I thought she could not even take her child (who will need a visa as well), much less a parent. Am I wrong?

201665[/snapback]

If the child is listed on the interview letter the child needs to attend the interview, and there is no problem with the child going in.

 

You and your mother would only be allowed on the American Services area of the consulate at that time.

[SheLikesME?]

You and your mother would only be allowed on the American Services area of the consulate at that time.

 

Thanks Lee, just wanted to see if his SO's mother could actually go into the interview or not.

 

In this American Services side you have no chance to be part of the process or anything in the interview, right?

[ed and ying]

You and your mother would only be allowed on the American Services area of the consulate at that time.

 

Thanks Lee, just wanted to see if his SO's mother could actually go into the interview or not.

 

In this American Services side you have no chance to be part of the process or anything in the interview, right?

201733[/snapback]

Correct, only your fiance, wife or involved child is allowed to particpate in the interview. Everyone else just waits. I waited oustide for awhile, the went to the coffee shop - I was never in the consulate - any side

[Jonathan]

Love your new avatar Haps.  Loved the old one too.

 

Regarding the principle at her old school.  Just a thought........When my wife needed letters of recomendation to take an EMBA in Beijing, none of her former or present bosses wanted to make a letter.  One asked to just write one up and sign his name because he used words about like you said.  He didnt have time and not interested etc etc.  So we did write it up and she took it to him for HIM to sign.  You might keep this in mind, to do the same.  Of course your SO would have to go there or meet the principle somewhere else.  Maybe email it and see if he/she approves.  just another .02

201414[/snapback]

good suggestions, thanks.

 

I have a couple other avatars. Maybe I will change one with each new blue thingie!

 

I didn't get a picture with her parents while I was there. I want to do that quick when I get there before the interview. I also am going to get my brothers, sister, and parents to send her a letter in the mail as evidence that my family knows her. I also have pictures with her students and she took a picture of her and her students with our picture on the wall proving she had students after we met.

201463[/snapback]

Great idea, which gives me a more outragous idea!

 

Why not show up with your mom on the interview day. Then if a blue slip ever happens, you and your mom storm in there, and present your evidence. I think the fact that you have your mothers support in this will send a clear message that you are serious about this relationship.

 

I like to see them derail that!

201465[/snapback]

I thought the SO goes into the interview alone. I thought she could not even take her child (who will need a visa as well), much less a parent. Am I wrong?

201665[/snapback]

Oh, what I meant was having the parent who is a US citizen show up with the petioner just wait outside for the fiance. I was not talking about the lady's parent. And your girl just makes sure to let the interviewer know that her fiance and his parent is outside to support you. That should let the interviewer know that there is someone else who supports your relationship, and that you have their blessing.

 

I don't know if I ever heard of this being done before. But I figure, extreme cases, calls for extreme measures.

Edited March 25, 2006 by Jonathan (see edit history)

[Q&Q]

OK...

 

 

If my SO didn't have a picture of me at her school, if I was an "Australian", "Russian", or even a "Canadian" it would not have been as bad.  Instead you would have thought I was Tom Cruise or someone.  Look at the billboards and advertising.  USA all the way!  On the men’s underwear, Barbie dolls, food, clothing, Buicks, everywhere.  All Americans are popular and rich, whether you are or not. You can see how people can get jealous and then do bad things (Coincidentally, my ethics professor said that American men are among the most jealous, he is Australian) 

 

My SOs female colleagues, however, spent their school days complaining and making up stories to the principal, constant abuse to my SO until she quit.  Then they were so happy spending their school days talking about how they could make my SO never come to America.  Those are facts.  Would you consider that the behavior of a good person?

 

It is a different culture, it is communist, and a developing country over there.  The US government, of all governments, should know how China operates.  It should not be a "shocker" that people are facing these issues.  You have read about the treatment people receive, along with the jail time, for speaking out against the communist party.  Recently a Chinese man took his oath to be a US citizen where I live.  What was special about this man was his role in Tiananmen Square protests.  He will never be able to go back to china for fear of persecution.  The government knows, give me a break, let’s get with it.  Ohhhh, look out, we have a letter from some Chinese person warning us that a bad Chinese person is trying to get a US visa.  All of these documents and evidence must be no good now; this American is probably committing fraud. Chinese don't give a damn about helping the US, please!  Look at the motives.

 

Tom Petty

 

No wonder a post takes me 3 hours!

201821[/snapback]

With that pride and prejudice in your mind, no matter what they do or what they say will make you feel they are jealous. They look up to you and feel crazy when they can't reach where you are and what you have. When they are crazy, they do bad things like making up stories and getting themselves fired. But the whole thing sounds like a make up story to me. I don't think that you can simply get fired just because you make up stories, and I don't think that the principal has the right to fire teachers. Things don't work that way in China.

 

I'm lucky enough not to have experience what your SO is going through now. But, I do believe that people are just so different and there are bad people everywhere, in China and in America. I feel sorry for your SO for being treated like that. But your "writing style" or your tone in the whole thread makes me feel very uncomfortable.

[whatsthehaps]

You probably would not listen but I have to say that you do have a strong prejudice towards China, not necessary all Chinese people, since your SO is one.  I can tell it is not only the government that you don't like.  Besides, a government is not in isolation, it is always make up with people from that country.

 

Everything looks different from a different angle, with a different mindset.

 

In general, it is more likely that you will be happy in a marriage with a Chinese SO if you take a liking of China.  One of the reasons is that your SO is grown up there, brought up by Chinese, influenced by the people and culture.  CHINESE is clearly stamped on her.  Even if you both very much dislike China, or what's going on over there.  She will start missing that country soon after she arrives America.

201992[/snapback]

I'm afraid I've dug myself a hole and was unable to get my point across without sounding biased. Sometimes I do not want to open my mouth because of cases like this, and then I find myself trying to explain myself. The events and experiences I went through are largely responsible. I feel really, really bad about it.

 

I really did not mean to imply the whole of China was "bad". Poor wording on my part.

 

I do like China, I enjoy my trips there, and I will have an apartment there. So I do not plan on taking my SO from her homeland and her family there.

 

This topic has gotten way off the beaten path. I tried to emphasize certain points; unfortunately I came across as biased. I've removed the past couple posts to hopefully calm it down some.

 

regards and apologies,

Rick

 

http://i1.tinypic.com/scfbj4.jpg

[Joanne]

deleted...

201992[/snapback]

I'm afraid I've dug myself a hole and was unable to get my point across without sounding biased. Sometimes I do not want to open my mouth because of cases like this, and then I find myself trying to explain myself. The events and experiences I went through are largely responsible. I feel really, really bad about it.

 

I really did not mean to imply the whole of China was "bad". Poor wording on my part.

 

I do like China, I enjoy my trips there, and I will have an apartment there. So I do not plan on taking my SO from her homeland and her family there.

 

This topic has gotten way off the beaten path. I tried to emphasize certain points; unfortunately I came across as biased. I've removed the past couple posts to hopefully calm it down some.

 

regards and apologies,

Rick

 

http://i1.tinypic.com/scfbj4.jpg

202016[/snapback]

Clearly a misunderstand from my side. Without your post to counter to B) , my previous post is pointless. I will delete it as well.

 

No worries.

Edited March 26, 2006 by Joanne (see edit history)

[SheLikesME?]

I guess I missed some of the fuss, but Hey the HAPS has his wagon overloaded and his Donkey is up in the air. If he unloads some of it, maybe it wont be there when he returns.

 

I started to post some things I have seen first hand but ahh, just let it rest.

[SmilingAsia]

Speaking of bad people in big cities. How about the pick pocketers you see on the street, or even worse, the people who sneak up from behind and hit you over the head with a hammer. Then after you're knocked unconcious, they rob you?

201577[/snapback]

 

I call this Worm Viruses of Chinese culture.

When some poeple have complaints, they don't complain in your face, but badmouth you to someone else, which makes people over nervous, over defensive or tit for tat, this kills the productivity of a nation.

Worm Viruses consume too much memory of the computer that you cannot run your Windows. Now you understand why western countries are more developed than China? Part of the reason is Worm Viruses of the culture!

[SmilingAsia]

Not all Americans are rich and not all Chinese are poor.

To mention Barbie doll, I think they have a factory in Guangzhou cuz the manufacturer gave me one as a gift, many years ago.

I'm sure we are poor compared with Bill Gates or Tom Cruise

 

You know, it seems to some Chinese that American government enjoys exporting freedom and democracy. Some Chinese did lie in order to get a green card. I saw someone say he is a memeber of Fa Lun Gong for the purpose of obtaining a green card.

Poverty IS the SOURCE of all devils like lying, scam marriage.

 

It seems to me your SO is from a landlocked part of China, at least not Guangzhou and all the people around her are working for government-owned enterprises like public schools. Usually Chinese people along coastal areas only mind their own business.

 

When your SO arrives in America, she'll miss good old China and the school.