Jealous Colleagues

[SheLikesME?]

Before I read all these responses I would get a letter of recomandation from this new Principle explaining the situation, have it translated and certified/notorized, and just have it ready. If nothing else maybe this will make you/her feel better and prepared. You dont have to send to GUZ until needed.

 

Get any other letters of recomendation you can ezpecially if they can shed light on the persecution she received. Just my .02. Be preparred.

[whatsthehaps]

Thanks everyone I appreciate the posts and they are helpful! I would not be as prepared or half as far without you!

 

We are doing everything by the book and we are both good people.

 

I'm finding it difficult to believe that the government would ignore the evidence, police reports, etc. and go off of some letters that certain people send. Does GUZ consider the motives behind them? Do they think that the Chinese in question are sending them information so that they may help them and be good Chinese sumaritans and foreign relations advocates? Really what could they say that they can prove? Nothing! I have faith that the government would see through stuff like that.

 

If GUZ is monitoring this site and reads these posts, then thank God, because they realize what is actually going on and what they are puting people through. These posts may also add to the evidence later if necessary.

 

She also will not go back to that school again, she has been through a lot, and she feels like she is living in the Cultural Revolution.

 

We also cannot be 100% sure anyone sent anything, GUZ certainly would not say. But the threats were made. All by jealous women, the guys are fine. And man are they jealous and hate her, I've seen them and met with several of her male colleagues. They do not want her to have anything better than them. That's their motive.

 

I remember Eric! And by the way, I have had no beers, it just comes natural!!!

[SheLikesME?]

Some people at my wifes job don't even know she got a divorce 3+ yrs ago much less remarried. She gave her one year notice and reduction in salary and step down from managemnt, and they have no idea why.

 

I only have some concern abou ther sister who has little emotion and no kids and now has her daughter to teach her and make her more CHINESE. Your thread made me wonder if I will have a problem with this sister. We will see.

[whatsthehaps]

Some people at my wifes job don't even know she got a divorce 3+ yrs ago much less remarried.  She gave her one year notice and reduction in salary and step down from managemnt, and they have no idea why.

 

I only have some concern abou ther sister who has little emotion and no kids and now has her daughter to teach her and make her more CHINESE.  Your thread made me wonder if I will have a problem with this sister.  We will see.

200368[/snapback]

hmmm...

 

I am aware of mean/jealous sisters. Maybe you could ask your SO how she was treated by her sister when they were growing up. The people I am aware of were mean to their siblings. The stuff I heard was pretty bad. Also is the sister coming here or staying in China? I know Chinese here and they will tell you how mean and jealous they can get. I would really hate to hear that of a family though.

[esun41]

Thanks everyone I appreciate the posts and they are helpful! I would not be as prepared or half as far without you!

 

We are doing everything by the book and we are both good people.

 

I'm finding it difficult to believe that the government would ignore the evidence, police reports, etc. and go off of some letters that certain people send. Does GUZ consider the motives behind them? Do they think that the Chinese in question are sending them information so that they may help them and be good Chinese sumaritans and foreign relations advocates? Really what could they say that they can prove? Nothing! I have faith that the government would see through stuff like that.

 

If GUZ is monitoring this site and reads these posts, then thank God, because they realize what is actually going on and what they are puting people through. These posts may also add to the evidence later if necessary.

 

She also will not go back to that school again, she has been through a lot, and she feels like she is living in the Cultural Revolution.

 

We also cannot be 100% sure anyone sent anything, GUZ certainly would not say. But the threats were made. All by jealous women, the guys are fine. And man are they jealous and hate her, I've seen them and met with several of her male colleagues. They do not want her to have anything better than them. That's their motive.

 

I remember Eric! And by the way, I have had no beers, it just comes natural!!!

200309[/snapback]

B)

[Stone]

May I add something here? In order for GUZ to act on a case, they need at least two of the three items: name, DOB and case number. If the jealous colleague has two of the three, it could be a problem. Otherwise, you can just sit back and relax.

 

Remember GUZ is very busy, buried under thousands of cases, and cannot afford to waste too much time chasing each frivolous tip. And in China, there could be thousands of people with the same name, say Wang Li?

[SheLikesME?]

Some people at my wifes job don't even know she got a divorce 3+ yrs ago much less remarried.  She gave her one year notice and reduction in salary and step down from managemnt, and they have no idea why.

 

I only have some concern abou ther sister who has little emotion and no kids and now has her daughter to teach her and make her more CHINESE.  Your thread made me wonder if I will have a problem with this sister.  We will see.

200368[/snapback]

hmmm...

 

I am aware of mean/jealous sisters. Maybe you could ask your SO how she was treated by her sister when they were growing up. The people I am aware of were mean to their siblings. The stuff I heard was pretty bad. Also is the sister coming here or staying in China? I know Chinese here and they will tell you how mean and jealous they can get. I would really hate to hear that of a family though.

200578[/snapback]

I will do that. My wife got on this education kick about her daughter learning english, then she wanted her to learn Chinese. Then somehow her sister was involved and they feared about her daughter and wanted her to BE CHINESE. Then there was the discussion about whether to even bring the girl to America or not. That is ongoing, but lately it sounds like she will bring her after she finishes her degree and comes over permanantly. BUT, I have asked her and I also wonder how much influence does her sister have on her and will she make a problem when that time comes for her to go to America?

 

So far this sister is mean a bit to the daughter and of course very disciplined and making her study hard in school. She limits my wifes phone calls to the daughter because of the studying and the disciplined rutine. I did not like any of this at all at first. I told her my opinon about it all, but figured this is Chinese business and sister business and I better not push it too hard, but my wife knows exactly my stand on it.

 

My wife complains about the sister even after her visit this last weekend up to Benxi for a visit. But I stay out of it, and plan to do little until the time aproaches for them to come over. I cannot see my wife comming to America without her little daughter. But I am not Chinese either.

 

Wonder if she will throw a cog in the wheel. Still learning about the sister.

[whatsthehaps]

May I add something here?  In order for GUZ to act on a case, they need at least two of the three items: name, DOB and case number.  If the jealous colleague has two of the three, it could be a problem.  Otherwise, you can just sit back and relax.

 

Remember GUZ is very busy, buried under thousands of cases, and cannot afford to waste too much time chasing each frivolous tip.  And in China, there could be thousands of people with the same name, say Wang Li?

200625[/snapback]

I am pretty sure they have both our names and most likely all of my SOs information. One of my mottos is "there are no secrets in China" and that can be applied to cases like this and business. I doubt they have the case number.

 

If I found this site a little earlier, her colleagues would have no idea who I was. Once they found out I was an American, all hell broke loose. They get extremely jealous and watch out! No one can have it better than them.

[SheLikesME?]

So will the principle that fired them write a letter?

[whatsthehaps]

I will do that.  My wife got on this education kick about her daughter learning english, then she wanted her to learn Chinese.  Then somehow her sister was involved and they feared about her daughter and wanted her to BE CHINESE.  Then there was the discussion about whether to even bring the girl to America or not.  That is ongoing, but lately it sounds like she will bring her after she finishes her degree and comes over permanantly.  BUT, I have asked her and I also wonder how much influence does her sister have on her and will she make a problem when that time comes for her to go to America?

 

So far this sister is mean a bit to the daughter and of course very disciplined and making her study hard in school.  She limits my wifes phone calls to the daughter because of the studying and the disciplined rutine.  I did not like any of this at all at first.  I told her my opinon about it all, but figured this is Chinese business and sister business and I better not push it too hard, but my wife knows exactly my stand on it.

 

My wife complains about the sister even after her visit this last weekend up to Benxi for a visit.  But I stay out of it, and plan to do little until the time aproaches for them to come over.  I cannot see my wife comming to America without her little daughter.  But I am not Chinese either.

 

Wonder if she will throw a cog in the wheel.  Still learning about the sister.

200628[/snapback]

I would make sure her daughter comes to America. I know Chinese who hated going to school there and my SO is a teacher and she hated going to school there also. Did you happen to notice what jobs the majority of women have in China? For me that would be a no brainer.

 

The discipline part seems normal for China. The Chinese know it would be better for your SO's daughter in America with her mother, I don't buy that for a second. Her sister seems controlling.

 

If it becomes a problem, and I would keep things on the down low regarding her sister, I would try to be friendly and considerate of the sister's ideas but be firm with getting her daughter here. Never keep a daughter away from her mother if possible. I would also not try and step between the sister because the sister could try an open woopass! I'll bet you a whole dollar she would want to come to the US given a chance.

[whatsthehaps]

So will the principle that fired them write a letter?

200641[/snapback]

She say's she can't, but she can get her students letters saying she is a good teacher. They can also call the students parents and if they don't believe her they can call the principal. She has no relationship with the school anymore and the principal is very busy, not concerned with that stuff. She also does not want to go anywhere near that place after the treatment she received.

[Guest knloregon]

Geezzzzzzzzz.......

 

this really has taken on a life of its own in your whole process..... important to remember that for all the posts here, and many by those of us who have been through it ---- still, there is one individual who trumps (in my opinion) ----all of the others.

 

That is the advice of King. (he is a US citizen, and GZ immigration lawyer). As you can see, he also has concerns, but gives some of the same advice that others here have----

 

Having said that, and since the heat still is on your SO, (really her mental welfare is becoming a chief concern) ---------- why not: "just call the whole thing off".........

 

Seriously, just tell her: "you don't love her, or want to go through the hassle of the visa process, and besides, you found "someone else" in the US......."

 

------------------------------ !?!?!

 

See where I'm going with this? If your SO can be distraught enough, tearful enough: "LOOK WHAT ALL OF YOU HAVE DONE TO ME !!" ....... in front of all those who want her to fail ---- (and since she already has severed professional ties....)

 

----Maybe this is the way to give her bitchy ex-co-workers what they want: they trashed her relationship with you, and spoiled her chances to get to America, and that must let them sleep smuggly ....

 

Your SO gets the breathing room she needs to complete the process, and her ex-co-workers then have no reason to send the poison letters to USGZ.......

 

.........and even if the ex-co's do find out (at the very last minute) that your SO is on the train to GZ ------------- what are they going to tell the Consulate at that .......point??????

 

That your SO "LIED!" to them about breaking up with you???? ....... Come on......... now they look totally desperate, and totally without credibility........

 

all this has to do with your SO's ability to pull it off, and both of your ability to keep it confidential.......... btw, i'm not just blowin' smoke here, this is exactly what I would do in your situation....... I advised Fei to keep our relationship confidental (even with family members) until very late in the game ---- and I think that served us well.....

[whatsthehaps]

That is the advice of King.  (he is a US citizen, and GZ immigration lawyer).  As you  can see, he also has concerns, but gives some of the same advice that others here have----

 

Having said that, and since the heat still is on your SO, (really her mental welfare is becoming a chief concern)  ----------  why not:  "just call the whole thing off".........

 

See where I'm going with this? 

 

----Maybe this is the way to give her bitchy ex-co-workers what they want:  they trashed her relationship with you, and spoiled her chances to get to America, and that must let them sleep smuggly .... 

 

Your SO gets the breathing room she needs to complete the process, and her ex-co-workers then have no reason to send the poison letters to USGZ.......

 

200650[/snapback]

that's a good idea, however, if she were to do that, the people where she lives will think she is strange, that there is something wrong with her and she will have no more students.

 

I once broke a board on my friend's mom's deck that she just finished. I had the idea of flipping the board over and staining it. When I got done staining it, it was a different color (there was 2 cans of stain). His mom redid the entire deck again. I tried to make it better, but made it worse instead. I tend to way over do things. Keep things simple is better, one variable at a time.

 

I'm optamistic, in this case, I could not believe a case could get derailed like that based on hearsay from people with obvious motives in the light of all evidence. It does, however, help me prepare. Propper, prior, planning.

[SheLikesME?]

Thanks Haps,

God speed to you two.

[Joanne]

Geezzzzzzzzz.......

 

this really has taken on a life of its own in your whole process.....  important to remember that for all the posts here, and many by those of us who have been through it ---- still, there is one individual who trumps (in my opinion)  ----all of the others. 

 

That is the advice of King.  (he is a US citizen, and GZ immigration lawyer).  As you  can see, he also has concerns, but gives some of the same advice that others here have----

 

Having said that, and since the heat still is on your SO, (really her mental welfare is becoming a chief concern)  ----------  why not:  "just call the whole thing off".........

 

Seriously, just tell her:  "you don't love her, or want to go through the hassle of the visa process, and besides, you found "someone else" in the US......."

 

------------------------------ !?!?!

 

See where I'm going with this?  If your SO can be distraught enough, tearful enough: "LOOK WHAT ALL OF YOU HAVE DONE TO ME !!"  ....... in front of all those who want her to fail ----  (and since she already has severed professional ties....)

 

----Maybe this is the way to give her bitchy ex-co-workers what they want:  they trashed her relationship with you, and spoiled her chances to get to America, and that must let them sleep smuggly .... 

 

Your SO gets the breathing room she needs to complete the process, and her ex-co-workers then have no reason to send the poison letters to USGZ.......

 

.........and even if the ex-co's do find out (at the very last minute) that your SO is on the train to GZ ------------- what are they going to tell the Consulate at that .......point?????? 

 

That your SO "LIED!" to them about breaking up with you???? .......  Come on......... now they look totally desperate, and totally without credibility........

 

all this has to do with your SO's ability to pull it off, and both of your ability to keep it confidential..........  btw, i'm not just blowin' smoke here, this is exactly what I would do in your situation.......  I advised Fei to keep our relationship confidental (even with family members) until very late in the game ---- and I think that served us well.....

200650[/snapback]

This is a very interesting strategy! Should be very effective, too.

 

However, the whole situation sounds very childish. Could it be that the elementary school teachers are among young children most of their waken time, so they become assimilated?