Name Change – a personal experience

[Charlotte]

Someone asked me about name change; I think I might answer it on board since visa news is a little slow these days.

My first 5 years of marriage was in my maiden/Chinese name.

When I became a US citizen, I became Charlotte legally and took my husband’s last name. The reason I took his name is because:

1. he is old-fashioned type, although he did not insist on it, I knew he would like it.

2. several secretaries at my workplace greeted him “Mr. Xi” when he called.

3. my Chinese name is a very funny game for Americans to pronounce. Many times I did not recognize my name when my professors tried to call my name – pretty good idea not changing name then – they usually left me alone in class.

 

My personal views on this after being both ways for some times:

Pros:

· it is nice to have one family name, less confusing to friends, relatives, and employment.

· Especially for people who are going to have kids together, there will be less confusion to teachers or TPA meetings.

· Last but not least: do as the Romans do!

Cons:

· Being a Chinese all my life, kind of losing my self-identity although I kept my middle name. I have many Americans ask me my Chinese name; after several tries, they would give up and say : oh I would prefer “ Charlotte” (which was given by my English professor in my college days in Shanghai).

· Confusion to my old family/friends in China -- have to print labels for them to correspond to me

· A lot of hassle to get all documents changed

· cost money if you want your first name changed too, but can be avoided if you want until your citizenship approval – you can change free of charge

 

My personal opinion on this is: You may need to think hard and respect each other about the last name change. It is important to some people, not to others, since most of you are not as old-fashioned. As to your first name, if you have a very easy to pronounce Chinese name, no English name necessary. Be prepared the Americans say your names in a VERY American way.

Chinese name: American would make it sound like

Gao Wei --------- Way Gaio

Gao Long Long --------- Lang Lang Gaio

Wang Hai Bo --------- Hi bow Wan

 

Some of the easy-to-say names: Min, ling, Li, Fan, Yan.

If your first name starts with: Zh, Chi, Z, C, Q, X -- good luck to you!

 

In a word, I am glad I changed my name; I have saved all the would-be pain and sufferings for my American friends here to struggle with my Chinese name and at the same time pleased my husband after 4 years of marriage.

[Robert S.]

>cost money if you want your first name changed too, >but can be avoided if you want until your citizenship >approval – you can change free of charge

 

Here in Alabama it only costs ten dollars to change your name. I have no idea why it is so cheap.

 

Again thank you for your informative posts. May I ask, did your professor tell how he happened to pick the name Charlotte (which seems to fit you nicely) and will you tell what part of your original full name the name Xi is?

[Guest Snowbeast]

My fiancee's last name begins with zh. We have had a few discussions on the matter, and she will change her name to mine. This is not because I'm old fashioned, but for some of the other reasons you mentioned.

 

I have never been married before, and always said I didn't see why everybody always changed the name. It makes it hard to locate any women you may have known before their marriages. I always said that I would be glad to change my name to my wife's name if she would like that, and that I would not require her to change her name as some sort of show of loyalty/togetherness--whatever it shows. But after discussing it thoroughly, we agreed that she would change her name at marriage.

 

She says she hates the way Americans try to pronounce the zh so she would prefer a different name anyway. And since it's customary in this country she wanted to do it.

[stellachacha]

if wants to change the name and use husband's last name, do we need go to some specail office to apply for changing? Since the name on the passport is Chinese name written in Pin Yin, even we get immigration visa , but the legal names for us are our Chinese on passports. Can I use my first name in Chinese Pin Yin + my husband last name, is it legal? Any opinion ? Thank u all!

[Guest enight]

dear Charlotte JJ,

 

your posts are always so helpful and interesting, Alan and I are always impressed by how well and clear you are using English...

 

and you have very sharp eyes to view the matters from the two sides

 

please write more, we are looking forward to read your next post on the culture difference between US and China

[Guest Snowbeast]

if wants to change the name and use husband's last name, do we need go to some specail office to apply for changing?  Since the name on the passport is Chinese name written in Pin Yin, even we get immigration visa ,  but the legal names for us are our Chinese on passports.  Can I use my first name in Chinese Pin Yin + my husband last name, is it legal?  Any opinion ?  Thank u all!

I'm not an expert on this so I might be wrong. The way we plan to do it is marry first and change name at that time so that my name is her name on the marriage certificate. Then we will apply for all documents: social security card, state identification (driver license) and so forth. This way, we can use the marriage certificate along with the Chinese passport and visa for identification. Am I on the right track here?

[skibum]

Very interesting Charlotte. I must admit that Americans are not very good with foreign names. Our solution will be to have friends call Yirong, Yee. She will be changing her last name because she wants to. Personally, I think Chinese names are nice and add to the mystery but it is also nice to come when called!!

It also seems that as I read Chinese history, there are many name changes. You will often see........so and so also known as.......where they just take another name.

I have often wondered also what happens when the woman in the US does not change her name and you have Jones-Smith kids marrying Li- Jones kids........ are their kids Jones-Smith-Li-Jones? I think the Chinese way is better than our hyphenated kids.

[stellachacha]

if wants to change the name and use husband's last name, do we need go to some specail office to apply for changing?  Since the name on the passport is Chinese name written in Pin Yin, even we get immigration visa ,  but the legal names for us are our Chinese on passports.  Can I use my first name in Chinese Pin Yin + my husband last name, is it legal?  Any opinion ?  Thank u all!

I'm not an expert on this so I might be wrong. The way we plan to do it is marry first and change name at that time so that my name is her name on the marriage certificate. Then we will apply for all documents: social security card, state identification (driver license) and so forth. This way, we can use the marriage certificate along with the Chinese passport and visa for identification. Am I on the right track here?

thank u for your reply. I am CR1. I married with my husband in China. So the name on my marriage lience is my Chinese name. Maybe it will run differently when I enter US. I don't know about it. If anyone has the same experience like mine , it will be great to share his experience with me in this issue. Thank u.

[stellachacha]

Name conventions are part tradition and part state law. Each state has their own law on a wife's choice of name. In Oregon, a wife can keep her maiden name, take her husband's surname or use both. Also, she can revert to her maiden name anytime she wishes. Check the laws for your own state to see what gives. BTW...first names are not optional. That takes a court action in Oregon unless you adopt an assumed name.

I see. Thank u for your explain.

[Myles]

Aloha from Hawaii,

Yesterday, I met two young women from Brazil. They are the second generation from

Okinawa. They carried with them the family traditon of name changes. The mother

keeps her family name. The daughters get a hyphenated name. The sons get the

father's name. The daughters when they marry drop the mother's part of the

hyphenated name. It seems complicated but it does help to track the mother's

side of the famliy tree.

Myles aka Annakuen'GG

[tonado]

My fiancee is already thinking about a Western First name. She said her Chinese name (Yan) is too common in China. Finding a name for her will be fun.

[Myles]

Aloha from Hawaii,

A name that sounds like Yan can reduce confusion caused by a name change.

Myles aka Annakuen'GG

[Charlotte]

if wants to change the name and use husband's last name, do we need go to some specail office to apply for changing?  Since the name on the passport is Chinese name written in Pin Yin, even we get immigration visa ,  but the legal names for us are our Chinese on passports.  Can I use my first name in Chinese Pin Yin + my husband last name, is it legal?  Any opinion ?  Thank u all!

Changing last name only requires your marriage certificate. For SSN name change, you may want to submit a ceritfied copy. It does not hurt to get several certified copies from the court house when you get married for your immigration process and future name change references.

Since my name is almost a full name change, I only gave them a copy of the INS name change document they sent me.

To avoid confusion: it is advisable to put a comma next your last name and then first name, i.e. Yao, Min. It is difficult for Americans to figure out the what you last name is when you forget to write family name last.

Yes, it is legal - I was even tempted to use Xi-Klein as my married name then.

Hope this answers your questions.

[Charlotte]

My fiancee is already thinking about a Western First name.  She said her Chinese name (Yan) is too common in China.  Finding a name for her will be fun.

If you want to change your first name, I would still prefer to pick an English name that sounds close to the Chinese name -- not in my case --

To answer Rob's question: I picked the "C" in my English class, my professor gave me Charlotte. I did not know better then. Xi is my last name and now I keep it as my middle name.

[tonado]

My fiancee is already thinking about a Western First name.  She said her Chinese name (Yan) is too common in China.  Finding a name for her will be fun.

If you want to change your first name, I would still prefer to pick an English name that sounds close to the Chinese name -- not in my case --

To answer Rob's question: I picked the "C" in my English class, my professor gave me Charlotte. I did not know better then. Xi is my last name and now I keep it as my middle name.

Actually, we both like the name Kelly but her older sister didn't like that name. So we are still undecided.