The beauty thing and Chinese women

[rogerluli]

Every guy here knows that his SO is the most beautiful woman in the world... or else... . But seriously folks being beautiful seems to be much more important to Chinese women than American women and they are not bashful about rating each other. On my first trip with Luli we traveled to Beijing and met her aunt and family there. A cousin who had not seen Luli for several years told her that she was not as beautiful as she had been... I couldn't believe my ears... The second time I went we visited a friend's apartment but she was not home but her mother was and the same thing happened. I explained later that these comments would just not fly in the US but Luli just accepted it and said it was true that she had been more beautiful in her late 20's than now in her late 30's. And she wants to always know how beautiful she is compared to other women. When I told her about my good friend's Chinese wife I had to email her a picture of her right away so that Luli could see that she was indeed more beautiful than this woman. The little sisters and all of Luli's friends in China freely rate each other on beauty. I asked one time about a woman's marriageability in China. Were there other factors that a man would consider such as her job or education and I was informed that beauty was #1, #2 and #3 for a woman...

[fewmgf]

Only 4% of Chinese women consider themselves beautiful.

 

I'd say they are extremely modest

[jim_julian]

Hmm ... I haven't seen this at all. Whenever I comment on how beautiful Lao Po is or I compare her with another I get a stock answer, "All women are the same".

 

I've never heard her compare women as to physical beauty. Rarely, and in extreme circumstances, she might admit that some other lady does not have a "good heart".

 

She doesn't wear any makeup unless I suggest it. She is concerned about getting "black" from the sun and she does use some creme on her face and lotion on her body. All in all I'd say she's much less concerned about her looks than was my American ex with her $250 visits to the gay hairdresser.

[vincent214]

I think there is a sometimes subtle difference between Chinese women and American women regarding attitudes about "beauty". It's my observation that the "beauty" you talk about, as held more important by Chinese women, (and it is, I believe), has more to do with the high value of aesthetics, than ego. As such, egos are not as easily offended. For aesthetics has a kind of neutrality - it just "is" - albeit often personal and subjective. Chinese seem to value aesthetics in many ways - flowers - colors - fashion - form - mountains - umbrellas too. I don't think the aesthetics aspect of beauty, as Chinese women see it, has as large of a role in attitudes about love as "beauty" (in the American sense) has in American women. Indeed, Chinese women seem to value the "good" more than American women, regarding love. Perhaps this idea about "the good" is somewhere imbedded in the psyche of Chinese culture. It's reported that 300-400 BC, when a young Sun Tsu asked "How does a man become satisfied with one woman?" - the reply was -- "A man becomes satisfied with one woman when he falls in love with her soul". And "when the woman falls in love with the man's soul - this then is the marriage of souls - and this marriage is to be held sacred in the hearts of those so blessed -- and tended to, as one would tend a garden of delicate flowers". I offer this as a very tiny piece of support about the imbeddedness aspect of "the good" . Of course these are overly vast generalizations, so I'm open to tossing it all out too!

[Guest ShaQuaNew]

Mine seriously IS the MOST beautiful....

 

yeah, US women are different, but in a way, so much the same. Chemically they are sensitive and mostly tolerant. Physically, they are mostly thin. It's a real challenge to find a porker amongst the Chinese women. Face lifts and implants are hard to find, and those umbrellas come right out in the sun. There are high standards in China for beauty, but I think in a much different way than the US.

 

You will find the poor and unkempt there just like you do here. The illiterate and those lacking social skill. I do think that how one treats another's beauty may vary greatly from person to person and family to family just like it does here. My SO is VERY sensitive to others in a manner akin to what you would see in a sensitive type here in the US.

[Dennis143]

I've always been fascinated that many Asian women do not wear make-up, both here in LA and in China, my SO included. Part of their attractive and exotic appeal to me has been that, without make-up, their natural beautiful shows through. I've never cared for much make-up on my past American women partners, but never could convince many to go anywhere without it. Many Asian women seem so, very atypical of western women, who have purses full of cosmetics and will spend hours getting ready to go anywhere. Yet, I suppose, the more cosmopolitan women in the larger Chinese cities are succumbing to the western stereotype of beauty.

[Yuanyang]

Seems like some of these girls are rough with each other and even rougher on themselves. But they ladies over there call it the way they see it without reservations.

 

When I comment on how beautiful lao po looks today she laughs and says "Oh yes, I look beautiful everyday".

 

But again I say that the inner beauty I find in her is much more beautiful than the outer beauty. The outer will grow old and begin to wither away, but the inner will always be there.

 

Of course, I'll be dead by then!

[Yuanyang]

Only 4% of Chinese women consider themselves beautiful.

 

I'd say they are extremely modest

155629[/snapback]

Yeah, I agree. The ladies truly are very modest. Of course this is a country where the average 'looks rating' is what? 9.7

 

I think one non-physical attribute that brings a sense of beauty is self-confidence; no short supply of that.

[tonado]

My wife likes to watch movies with beautiful women. And how they look and dress.

[tywy_99]

Only 4% of Chinese women consider themselves beautiful.

 

I'd say they are extremely modest

155629[/snapback]

An interesting article, fewmgf. Thanks for sharing.

 

My wife doesn't wear make-up. She doesn't even care for jewelry and she dresses modestly.

I've heard before that many Chinese have low opinions about theirselves. I guess that must be from culture.

[Dennis143]

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2...tent_449333.htm

 

Chinese women go 'crazy' for cosmetics

(womenofchina)

Updated: 2005-06-07 09:42

[Jeikun]

Jun is very into cosmetics, skin care etc etc. It takes her 45 minutes to get ready to go to the grocery store, and 30 minutes to get ready for bed. She will not leave the house without getting herself made up. It doesn't bother me at all. She's a member of several Chinese bulletin boards where girls trade opinions, ideas, etc on beauty products.

 

I think it's obvious that with the posts we've seen in this thread alone stating polar opposites, that Chinese women are much like American women in this respect. Some are obsessive about their appearance, some are attentive, some are relaxed, some simply don't care.

 

As in many things, I think this is a case of looking for a commonality or stereotype where one doesn't exist. Both extremes are true, everything in between is true. City, rural, upbringing, age, personal preferance - all these things cause as much variation in Chinese as they do in Australians or South Africans. Face it, our SOs are all pretty darn unique.

 

I would also like to add, while I saw many jaw-droppingly beautiful women in China, I also saw plenty who's face would stop a clock. I'm sure they all had wonderful personalities though...

[warpedbored]

Some of it could be generational differences. My wife seldom puts on any make up. I would say the vast majority of american women in their late 40s wouldn't leave the house without it. I have noticed that many middle aged Chinese women seldom wear make up. Personally I think she looks just fine without it.

[Dennis143]

You are so absolutely right, Jasan. Now, I love the natural beauty of Asian women. Yet, add make-up and they become just jaw dropping, stunningly, beautiful!!

Edited September 21, 2005 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[Cerberus]

Some of it could be generational differences.  My wife seldom puts on any make up. I would say the vast majority of american women in their late 40s wouldn't leave the house without it.  I have noticed that many middle aged Chinese women seldom wear make up.  Personally I think she looks just fine without it.

155765[/snapback]

Carl,

 

I agree fully. The only time that I have seen my SO with more makeup on than usual was at our wedding. Then she went "whole hog" and used students from the beauty school to apply the makeup. Other than this time, she prefers natural with small highlights (e.g light lip gloss, accent the eyebrows, etc)

 

She does have a penchant for avoiding the sun and using SPF 30, before going out. See also, is like many Chinese woman, who prefer to be white, not tanned.

 

I would point out that this phenoma is not restricted to the Chinese It is very prevalent with all other southeastern Asian nations. I returned to Cambo about three years ago, went out and got myself some beer. The hostesses (bargirls) paint themselves so throughly, that they would make a geisha blush. To my eyes they resembled ghosts in the dark.