Why did you decide to marry outside your culture?

[warpedbored]

An old topic with a new twist in that you asked point blank why didn't we marry an american girl. I had a woman in my store recently who asked me the same thing only she said "couldn't you find an american girl?" as if I am such a loser that I had to import some sub-standard foreign female because no american woman would have me. Pissed me off royally but since she was a customer I couldn't tell her off and kick her ass out.

 

To answer your question I married a Chinese woman for many reasons. First of all I am more attracted to asian women than caucasian women. My ex wife is Japanese. When we divorced I dated several local caucasian women but found them not as interesting. I missed the intercultural exchange. One day I got some spam in my inbox from AFF. For kicks and giggles I filled out a profile and forgot about it. Soon I was deluged with emails from Chinese women. Most of them didn't seem sincere. Glamour shots with emails that seemed as if they were casting a net and fishing. Then one day I got one from Bing. It was different. The photo was a home photo and the woman in the photo had obvious inteligence in her eyes. The letter was honest and sincere. We started writing back and forth and 2 1/2 years later we were married. My wife's english isn't stellar but she speaks well enough that we have no trouble communicatiing. Now after 15 months of marriage I can tell you it was the best decision of my life. My wife is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and I couldn't be happier.

[LeeFisher3]

Why I didn't marry an American girl, well none seemed to present themselves for the possibility. Or perhaps it was that I wasn't willing to submit my financial statement to prove my qualification as a decent human being prior to asking them out on a date.

 

It could also be that in this day and age many Americans are not interested in getting to really know people and I wasn't interested in a superficial relationship, you know the McDonald's relationship. Fast, Cheap and not very satisfying.

 

While we have language issues we seem to be able to communicate quite well and both take the time to understand the other's thoughts and feelings. What we have is pretty special, or pretty special to us. As for what anyone else thinks, that's their problem.

[skibum]

I have always liked the looks and style of Asian women. I got along very well with the ones I knew at work so, after 2 marriages to American, I decided to go Asian. I dated to various degrees, 2 Chinese,6 Japanese, 2 Thais and a Taiwanese. All but 2 spoke good English.

 

The largest cultural difference I have had was with the Thais as they seem to lie as a matter of course. I cannot take that.

 

Considering the visa problems with China, I wonder why more guys don't look in Japan were they can come and visit anytime.

[warpedbored]

I have always liked the looks and style of Asian women. I got along very well with the ones I knew at work so, after 2 marriages to American, I decided to go Asian. I dated to various degrees, 2 Chinese,6 Japanese, 2 Thais and a Taiwanese. All but 2 spoke good English.

 

The largest cultural difference I have had was with the Thais as they seem to lie as a matter of course. I cannot take that.

 

Considering the visa problems with China, I  wonder why more guys don't look in Japan were they can come and visit anytime.

148970[/snapback]

Interestingly enough fewer Japanese women are marrying these days. Most aren't interested in moving to the US since they have a pretty good standard of living in Japan. Many young Japanese women these days are rejecting traditional marriage roles and opting for carreers and staying single. Japanese men are marrying foreign women in record numbers because of modern Japanese women's views and lack of suitable marriage partners.

[tywy_99]

My fiance speaks excellent English. And besides that, Asian guys are hot. I've always thought so.

 

 

 

(This question again? Sorry Dennis, but this has already been asked and answered at least 10 times on CFL....)

 

I think most people will tell you that they don't love their SO because they are Chinese.. just happened to fall in love with a person who happened to be Chinese.

148763[/snapback]

Nice pic, Amber. You two look very happy!........

 

Now, what was this thread about again?......aw,, who cares!.......

[Cerberus]

OK, tell me.  All you intellectuals and just plain folk like me.  I want to know why you decided to go marry someone in a foreign country, who can hardly speak a lick of English and you can't speak any of their's.  Why in the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????  I just don't understand it!

148759[/snapback]

Dennis 143

 

Well you can sure stir up controversiatial issues. Did you ask yourself the same question? The reason that I was wondering was, that I noticed under your question typed in very clear "english" was a particular timeline line in a beautiful blue.

 

S _ _ T! Isn't that your timeline?

D _ _N!!!!

IT IS YOUR TIMELINE!!!!

 

Please, Dennis. Humour this forum with your intellectual acumen. Why in the hell couldn't you find some in the US instead of getting a "non-English" speaking fiancee? Why did you spend bucks for a lawyer to help you to get your fiancee? Why in hell didn't YOU, find a mate a good mate in the "good-ol-USA?" There is an old adage for this simplistic thought pattern; "Physician, heal thyself!"

 

As for myself and why I married a Oriential woman. She happens to be Chinese who loves me and I love her. I spent so much time in the Orient, my mind functions "orientally." Primary causes are as follows;

1) 8 years living in Korea, courtesy of the military. 2 years worked as ROK ranger in MAC-K in the DMZ near city of Wonju. Unit of assignment was with the White Horse Division. The soldiers that I served with were all Korean. I was the only "whitey" in town.

2) 2 1/2 years studying in Japan

3) Have traveled to most of the countries in Southeast Asia.

4) Former ex-pat living in Cambodia for 2 years. Generally traveling to Thailand, Myanmar, Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam and the Philipines.

5) Two ex-wives, both Korean

 

Me, marrying an American woman has about much sense, as an elevator in a craphouse. That's why I didn't, as you so quaintly put it; "...the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????"

 

I will give you one small suggestion as to your comment; "I just don't understand it!"

 

Dennis, you are starting a Visa process. You better get it! And I mean toute D _ _N suite!

 

Sheesh!

[LeeFisher3]

OK, tell me.  All you intellectuals and just plain folk like me.  I want to know why you decided to go marry someone in a foreign country, who can hardly speak a lick of English and you can't speak any of their's.  Why in the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????  I just don't understand it!

148759[/snapback]

Dennis 143

 

Well you can sure stir up controversiatial issues. Did you ask yourself the same question? The reason that I was wondering was, that I noticed under your question typed in very clear "english" was a particular timeline line in a beautiful blue.

 

S _ _ T! Isn't that your timeline?

D _ _N!!!!

IT IS YOUR TIMELINE!!!!

 

Please, Dennis. Humour this forum with your intellectual acumen. Why in the hell couldn't you find some in the US instead of getting a "non-English" speaking fiancee? Why did you spend bucks for a lawyer to help you to get your fiancee? Why in hell didn't YOU, find a mate a good mate in the "good-ol-USA?" There is an old adage for this simplistic thought pattern; "Physician, heal thyself!"

 

As for myself and why I married a Oriential woman. She happens to be Chinese who loves me and I love her. I spent so much time in the Orient, my mind functions "orientally." Primary causes are as follows;

1) 8 years living in Korea, courtesy of the military. 2 years worked as ROK ranger in MAC-K in the DMZ near city of Wonju. Unit of assignment was with the White Horse Division. The soldiers that I served with were all Korean. I was the only "whitey" in town.

2) 2 1/2 years studying in Japan

3) Have traveled to most of the countries in Southeast Asia.

4) Former ex-pat living in Cambodia for 2 years. Generally traveling to Thailand, Myanmar, Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam and the Philipines.

5) Two ex-wives, both Korean

 

Me, marrying an American woman has about much sense, as an elevator in a craphouse. That's why I didn't, as you so quaintly put it; "...the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????"

 

I will give you one small suggestion as to your comment; "I just don't understand it!"

 

Dennis, you are starting a Visa process. You better get it! And I mean toute D _ _N suite!

 

Sheesh!

148988[/snapback]

I don't for a minute believe Dennis was speaking harshly toward anyone, but putting voice to a common question we will all be asked a number of times. A friends wife asked me this question earlier this year, I offered an explanation about love which she discounted. They are now in the process of getting a divorce, his 2nd and her 3rd.

 

I believe the real answer for many of us is that marriage and love is not a competition, for in a competition their is a winner and a loser, and many Americans are of the opinion that they should win no matter the cost.

 

For me it's about both of us being happy and sharing our life together.

[HanLi]

sign language?

 

heart attack?

 

we're all just "YOU" people.....

[LeeFisher3]

I think some may have missed the topic:

 

Why did you decide to marry outside your culture?, how do you answer naysayers?

[david_dawei]

I think some may have missed the topic:

 

Why did you decide to marry outside your culture?, how do you answer naysayers?

149031[/snapback]

DUH.. it was a 'devil's advocate' thread from the beginning... Glad to see Lee is on top of things..

[Dennis143]

OK, tell me.?All you intellectuals and just plain folk like me.?I want to know why you decided to go marry someone in a foreign country, who can hardly speak a lick of English and you can't speak any of their's.?Why in the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this?????I just don't understand it!

148759[/snapback]

Dennis 143

 

Well you can sure stir up controversiatial issues. Did you ask yourself the same question? The reason that I was wondering was, that I noticed under your question typed in very clear "english" was a particular timeline line in a beautiful blue.

 

S _ _ T! Isn't that your timeline?

D _ _N!!!!

IT IS YOUR TIMELINE!!!!

 

Please, Dennis. Humour this forum with your intellectual acumen. Why in the hell couldn't you find some in the US instead of getting a "non-English" speaking fiancee? Why did you spend bucks for a lawyer to help you to get your fiancee? Why in hell didn't YOU, find a mate a good mate in the "good-ol-USA?" There is an old adage for this simplistic thought pattern; "Physician, heal thyself!"

 

As for myself and why I married a Oriential woman. She happens to be Chinese who loves me and I love her. I spent so much time in the Orient, my mind functions "orientally." Primary causes are as follows;

1) 8 years living in Korea, courtesy of the military. 2 years worked as ROK ranger in MAC-K in the DMZ near city of Wonju. Unit of assignment was with the White Horse Division. The soldiers that I served with were all Korean. I was the only "whitey" in town.

2) 2 1/2 years studying in Japan

3) Have traveled to most of the countries in Southeast Asia.

4) Former ex-pat living in Cambodia for 2 years. Generally traveling to Thailand, Myanmar, Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam and the Philipines.

5) Two ex-wives, both Korean

 

Me, marrying an American woman has about much sense, as an elevator in a craphouse. That's why I didn't, as you so quaintly put it; "...the hell can't you just find a good mate here in the USA and why in the hell do you have to go around the world to do this????"

 

I will give you one small suggestion as to your comment; "I just don't understand it!"

 

Dennis, you are starting a Visa process. You better get it! And I mean toute D _ _N suite!

 

Sheesh!

148988[/snapback]

Very good answer. That's what we need more of on CFL. I guess when bait is tossed, you never know what you'll catch.

 

My question was merely a facetious one. As, these have been asked of me often.

 

Why did I choose a woman outside my culture? Hell man, I just dig Asian chicks. And, white chicks scare me. And, that's what I tell the naysayers! LOL

Edited August 28, 2005 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[Dennis143]

An old topic with a new twist in that you asked point blank why didn't we marry an american girl. I had a woman in my store recently who asked me the same thing only she said "couldn't you find an american girl?" as if I am such a loser that I had to import some sub-standard foreign female because no american woman would have me.  Pissed me off royally but since she was a customer I couldn't tell her off and kick her ass out. 

 

To answer your question I married a Chinese woman for many reasons.  First of all I am more attracted to asian women than caucasian women.  My ex wife is Japanese.  When we divorced I dated several local caucasian women but found them not as interesting.  I missed the intercultural exchange.  One day I got some spam in my inbox from AFF.  For kicks and giggles I filled out a profile and forgot about it.  Soon I was deluged with emails from Chinese women.  Most of them didn't seem sincere.  Glamour shots with emails that seemed as if they were casting a net and fishing.  Then one day I got one from Bing.  It was different.  The photo was a home photo and  the woman in the photo had obvious inteligence in her eyes.  The letter was honest and sincere.  We started writing back and forth and 2 1/2 years later we were married.  My wife's english isn't stellar but she speaks well enough that we have no trouble communicatiing. Now after 15 months of marriage I can tell you it was the best decision of my life. My wife is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and I couldn't be happier.

148949[/snapback]

Just an awesome answer Carl, so filled with love....

 

And, you got my point exactly!

[izus]

I think some may have missed the topic:

 

Why did you decide to marry outside your culture?, how do you answer naysayers?

149031[/snapback]

DUH.. it was a 'devil's advocate' thread from the beginning... Glad to see Lee is on top of things..

149036[/snapback]

i would just say the truth...

i have nothing to hide..

infact i love talking about her

 

i grew up in a family full of sisters all blonds and blue eyes.

so plain can you say Plain Jane...

 

my first wife was a brazilian malado...

(i guess she still is)

anyways

ive always been attracted to something other then plain...

women need to have spice...

my little ChunYan has got just that and much more...

she is an brilliant english and japanese interpretor for a well to do company based out of beijing. she corrects my grammer.

not even to mention the family values she understands.

your basic american girl could not even begin to understand these values let alone use them.

[Dennis143]

Very beautiful words of about your ChunYan, Bill.

 

It never stops to amaze me how sometimes persons can ask hurtful or just dumb questions, as one of Carl's patrons asked him. And, sometimes these dopes just don't deserve a straight and honest answer. So, I will often just throw something back to shock them. It usually works and they won't ask again. I was attending a meeting at work one day. One of our scientist turned to me and asked in front of everyone "gee, China sure is a long way to go, just to get a piece of ass" To say the least, I was shocked and dumbfounded for a moment. I didn't know whether to deck him on the spot, but I composed myself and answered him simply. "Jim, you're such an extremely intelligent man, yet it never amazes me how some of the most stupid and brainless statements can just flow out of your mouth." Fortunately, all the other men came to my aid.

I have never pursued anything in my life for fear of ridicule. I've never gone the mainstream very long. And, I can tell from other's here you also go to the beat of a different drummer. Naysayers don't like us. They often feel uncomfortable with people who are outside the box.

Edited August 24, 2005 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[Dennis143]

An old topic with a new twist in that you asked point blank why didn't we marry an american girl. I had a woman in my store recently who asked me the same thing only she said "couldn't you find an american girl?" as if I am such a loser that I had to import some sub-standard foreign female because no american woman would have me.  Pissed me off royally but since she was a customer I couldn't tell her off and kick her ass out. 

 

To answer your question I married a Chinese woman for many reasons.  First of all I am more attracted to asian women than caucasian women.  My ex wife is Japanese.  When we divorced I dated several local caucasian women but found them not as interesting.  I missed the intercultural exchange.  One day I got some spam in my inbox from AFF.  For kicks and giggles I filled out a profile and forgot about it.  Soon I was deluged with emails from Chinese women.  Most of them didn't seem sincere.  Glamour shots with emails that seemed as if they were casting a net and fishing.  Then one day I got one from Bing.  It was different.  The photo was a home photo and  the woman in the photo had obvious inteligence in her eyes.  The letter was honest and sincere.  We started writing back and forth and 2 1/2 years later we were married.  My wife's english isn't stellar but she speaks well enough that we have no trouble communicatiing. Now after 15 months of marriage I can tell you it was the best decision of my life. My wife is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and I couldn't be happier.

148949[/snapback]

Carl, I lived in Eugene, Oregon for 9-1/2 weeks three years ago. Too many white people for my taste. It rained to much and everyone drove the speed limit. Had to get back to El Lay.

 

Do you encounter much racism in Oregon?