How does your SO handle death

[david_dawei]

My SO's mom recently died and we have never discuss the issues of family death... I talked to a chinese friend who said 'probably three days of mourning'.

 

Anyone have experience they can share?

 

I have heard how a death can also affect other events, if they are schedule?

[Dan R]

Don't know about this and I am sorry you must learn first hand. I would think with all the family and personal differencesw in how traditions are followed it would be hard to anticipate.

[warpedbored]

Since Bing and I have been married my father died and my best friend died. Bing doesn't show much emotion most of the time but in both of these instances she took it pretty hard. This is something I doubt you can put much of a cultural spin on though. I think it would vary from person to person same as here.

[ckhang]

In my traditon, even here in the good USA, we still have the 3 days or more of mourning. The immediate family members would have sleepless night. All the cousins and friends will come from all over the world to pay there respect if they can make it here. Imagine eating fresh beef everyday for 3 or more days.

[frank1538]

Customs and traditions are likely to vary for region to region. I asked the same question when Jingwen's dad died: http://candleforlove.com/forums/index....cd841df17870726

[adambchildress]

I am switching careers to be a funeral director/embalmer and my wife is not thrilled about this at all ha ha ha. Where she lives in China it is bad luck to talk about death and if it is not your family your not allowed to look at the body of the dead. she lives in a villiage so i dont know what its like outside but she got mad at me when i was asking her about the special funeral foods they cook.....i read it in a chinese customs book called the good life.

[david_dawei]

Customs and traditions are likely to vary for region to region.  I asked the same question when Jingwen's dad died:  http://candleforlove.com/forums/index....cd841df17870726

frank, thanks.. great post and comments from many.

[Carl]

Ying told me she has to stay put in her home city for 100 days after the death of her son. She said she will however make an exception if she has to go to Guangzhou for her interview.

[tmkeith]

I am switching careers to be a funeral director/embalmer and my wife is not thrilled about this at all ha ha ha. Where she lives in China it is bad luck to talk about death and if it is not your family your not allowed to look at the body of the dead. she lives in a villiage so i dont know what its like outside but she got mad at me when i was asking her about the special funeral foods they  cook.....i read it in a chinese customs book called the good life.

Can't talk about death with Wei, either....and I thought I was telling her something good when I mentioned I have life insurance.

[Carl]

Ying told me she has to stay put in her home city for 100 days after the death of her son.  She said she will however make an exception if she has to go to Guangzhou for her interview.

As I said, Ying is staying home for 100 days, but she has been dealing with Peter's death by writing down her thoughts and feelings of grief in articles she has been posting on 001. Quite possibly some of you SO's may have read them. She tells me she follows the Bhuddist practice of daily meditation where her thoughts center on Peter. She tells me that is to ensure Peter's spirit will get to heaven. I can only say that whatever method she uses to deal with her grief is ok with me.

[Steve and Qingqing]

Qingqing told me that when I die, she will join me. She said she wouldnt have any reason to go on living if i wasnt around for her to love

[HanLi]

Maybe better idea is to talk about life.... celebrating that, as opposed to death.....

[Dan R]

I am switching careers to be a funeral director/embalmer and my wife is not thrilled about this at all ha ha ha. Where she lives in China it is bad luck to talk about death and if it is not your family your not allowed to look at the body of the dead. she lives in a villiage so i dont know what its like outside but she got mad at me when i was asking her about the special funeral foods they  cook.....i read it in a chinese customs book called the good life.

Can't talk about death with Wei, either....and I thought I was telling her something good when I mentioned I have life insurance.

132633[/snapback]

Ah life insurance.... you mean putting a curse on your life by betting on dying?

[HanLi]

I am switching careers to be a funeral director/embalmer and my wife is not thrilled about this at all ha ha ha. Where she lives in China it is bad luck to talk about death and if it is not your family your not allowed to look at the body of the dead. she lives in a villiage so i dont know what its like outside but she got mad at me when i was asking her about the special funeral foods they  cook.....i read it in a chinese customs book called the good life.

Can't talk about death with Wei, either....and I thought I was telling her something good when I mentioned I have life insurance.

132633[/snapback]

Ah life insurance.... you mean putting a curse on your life by betting on dying?

135160[/snapback]

I knew a guy that called it Death Insurance!

[ptcrusier333rph]

I had a interesting talk with my SO seem that because her mother is in the hospital and can not go the the grandmother grave, Thoa been going everyday and take a boiled egg to eat at the grave, said they have to do it for 50 days after her grandmother death, lot of eggs

 

robert