Joint Account

[Yuanyang]

From our experience they only regard money flowing from China to applicant as fraud. Money flow the other direction does not constitute or imply visa fraud. Even with a record of previous overstay there was no problem.

I had to 'make' my darling SO accept money from me in May (about a thousand US). She resisted but finally relented when I explained that I wanted her to honestly say to the VO that her husband provides her with money IF she is ever asked the question.

I gave her instructions (yeah! I said it! INSTRUCTIONS! ) to do with the money as she wished. No doubt every penny of it in a jar or other safe keeping and will never be touched unless she buys ME something or gives it back to me in Noveber.

[melvin]

David,

 

I understand everything you are saying about sending money to your SO, however I feel that a man should take care of his family if he is married to his SO. I was married to my wife on Dec. 18, 2003 and every since that day, I have sent her money each month at the same time for her to have for living expenses. My wife did quit her job when she married me because I asked her to do so, because she was only making about 100 dollars a month and most of that amount was used to pay for sending me emalis at that time. I eventually sent her enough money to purchase a computer and a web cam which is what we use now and when she had her interview on 6/13/05, she passed without any questions being asked about the money i sent to her. She is flying to JFK next month on the 14th and i will meet her at the airport after waiting almost 19 months since being with her. I guess it is a matter of personal opinion whether one would want to support their SO or not during the visa process. I do not feel the VO would care one way or the other as long as you can prove that your relationship is true.

 

Melvin

[tonado]

David,

 

I understand everything you are saying about sending money to your SO, however I feel that a man should take care of his family if he is married to his SO. I was married to my wife on Dec. 18, 2003 and every since that day, I have sent her money each month at the same time  for her to have for living expenses. My wife did quit her job when she married me because I asked her to do so, because she was only making about 100 dollars a month and most of that amount was used to pay for sending me emalis at that time. I eventually sent her enough money to purchase a computer and a web cam which is what we use now and when she had her interview on 6/13/05, she passed without any questions being asked about the money i sent to her.  She is flying to JFK next month on the 14th and i will meet her at the airport after waiting almost 19 months since being with her.  I guess it is a matter of personal opinion whether one would want to support their SO or not during the visa process. I do not feel the VO would care one way or the other as long as you can prove that your relationship is true.

 

Melvin

Sending money to a wife is fine. Sending money to a fianee is not a good idea.

[melvin]

Tony,

 

I agree completely.

 

Melvin

[obxtrainman]

I also feel it is my responsibility to take care of my wife. I have sent her money before, and recently. She doesn't take this for granted.

 

I think David was trying to say, this issue is a doubled edged sword. Damed if you do, damed if you don't:

[david_dawei]

David,

 

I understand everything you are saying about sending money to your SO, however I feel that a man should take care of his family if he is married to his SO. I was married to my wife on Dec. 18, 2003 and every since that day, I have sent her money each month at the same time  for her to have for living expenses. My wife did quit her job when she married me because I asked her to do so, because she was only making about 100 dollars a month and most of that amount was used to pay for sending me emalis at that time. I eventually sent her enough money to purchase a computer and a web cam which is what we use now and when she had her interview on 6/13/05, she passed without any questions being asked about the money i sent to her.  She is flying to JFK next month on the 14th and i will meet her at the airport after waiting almost 19 months since being with her.  I guess it is a matter of personal opinion whether one would want to support their SO or not during the visa process. I do not feel the VO would care one way or the other as long as you can prove that your relationship is true.

 

Melvin

Hi Melvin.. It is nice to hear your story.

 

I will say that I am not speaking about whether someone supports their SO or not.. but simply if we use it as 'evidence for a relationship'... I fully support the idea of supporting your SO.

 

I also bought Zixuan a computer, sent her money three times (as she also stopped working)... She paid her complete year of rent, etc...

 

The only issue is whether I will use that financial support as some sort of proof or not to the VO. I do not believe the VO will ask about money sent... The question at hand is whether to present this as evidence of a valid relationship.

 

I'm glad to hear you will be united with her shortly.. that must be a wonderful feeling that many of us are dreaming of !! I'm very happy for you two...

 

 

edited since I just now saw Tony's comment... I agree that for married couples is probably more acceptable. I think it is a personal decision to send money to a fiancee... I don't personally see anything wrong with it.

 

As a K1 myself, I am not sure it is good 'evidence' to present... That is the issue I am trying to address..

 

thank you guys for continuing the discussion so I can clear up my comments.

[kfman]

Oh, clear that foggy brain, David. 

 

My opinion is the double-edged sword. It's quite typical for us to want to help out our SO's in every way, not just financially. It makes perfect sense; afterall, why would you give someone money if you weren't serious about the relationship?

 

My argument is the VO is not looking at the situation through your eyes. Put yourself in their place and you may very well have a different view and you did a good job of pointing it out.

 

I also read about people saying that having a pregnant wife or fiancee at the interview is 'proof' of a relationship. From the other side of the desk, it only means she is pregnant. There is absolutely no proof that you are the father unless there has been a DNA test performed and then the quality of the lab can be questioned. There is also no proof that you aren't picking up a wad of cash for getting this pregnant woman a green card.

 

I'll even go further to say that what VO#1 accepts as a legitimate relationship can result in the exact opposite opinon of VO#2. It's best not to talk in absolute terms - everything is very, very muddy.

awww.. words of wisdom from Grandpa Don....

 

my thoughts too.

 

perception that is.

 

 

[yuehan123]

I found that trying to explain to Moon, who already had a 4" thick clear folder jammed with all kinds of papers, about supplemental financial papers and non-I 134 proof of financial support, in particular, to be an unnecessary complication.

 

The SO's are incredibly nervous and the VO is extremely busy looking at the existing files, the computer and the envelope full of papers from the medical.

 

Keep it simple for the SO's sake.

 

Her passport, your passport, I-134, employment letter, taxes, the phone records, e-mails, snail mail letters and photos are already enough for the SO to grasp.

 

I agree that you should have with you anything you might need to overcome a denial but it is unlikely a VO will ask for, or take the time, to read joint bank accounts or CC statements or USD:RMB exchange receipts.

 

The night before the interviews I assisted another SO because her husband was self-employed in his own business and she had no clue what the various papers were. He signed his own employment letter, did not sign his two tax returns, did not have a commercial rating and none of his papers were certified or notorized.

 

She passed with the same VO and speed as Moon.

[david_dawei]

Keep it simple for the SO's sake.

And the VOs sake !

 

 

thanks, nice info...

[ed and ying]

David,

 

I understand everything you are saying about sending money to your SO, however I feel that a man should take care of his family if he is married to his SO. I was married to my wife on Dec. 18, 2003 and every since that day, I have sent her money each month at the same time  for her to have for living expenses. My wife did quit her job when she married me because I asked her to do so, because she was only making about 100 dollars a month and most of that amount was used to pay for sending me emalis at that time. I eventually sent her enough money to purchase a computer and a web cam which is what we use now and when she had her interview on 6/13/05, she passed without any questions being asked about the money i sent to her.  She is flying to JFK next month on the 14th and i will meet her at the airport after waiting almost 19 months since being with her.  I guess it is a matter of personal opinion whether one would want to support their SO or not during the visa process. I do not feel the VO would care one way or the other as long as you can prove that your relationship is true.

 

Melvin

Sending money to a wife is fine. Sending money to a fianee is not a good idea.

What is the difference ?

 

a. There is a relationship with a wife and not a fiancee ?

b. A wife is to be trusted, a fiance is not to be trusted ?

c. Somehow a wife is better than a fiancee ?

 

I do not understand - what I do understand is generalizations are dangerous.

 

Here is a generalizition to consider:

 

"Anyone who did not first meet their SO in person ( first contact not on internet) and have a long term relationship, either living with or multiple visits, before making the decison to marry or pursue a K type visa is crazy"

 

How many of you can meet the above criteria ??? Of course some can.

 

I have never tried to judge anyone involved in the visa process based on: how they meet, type of relationship, length of relationship, etc.

 

If you find this post offense, I am sorry, but the general tone of previous posts just irked me. ( Like I am idiot to trust fiancee SO)

 

There should be nothing wrong with being truthful with the relationship and interaction with you SO. As far as I am concerned, it is all upfront and on the table. Nothing will be hidden or ignored. I would much rather be upfront than asked about why did you tell about something.

 

Too each their own - I am done venting - back to counting blue thingies and time to visa.

[tonado]

Ed,

 

Stay calm. This is only a thread.

 

In this country culture, do people usually support the wife. I would say yes. How about fiancee? I would say no.

 

Just my opinion.

[david_dawei]

no fair.. I just used that phrase in another post "generalizations are dangerous"... Generally speaking, this could be dangerous to promote!

 

I agree with you.. that's why I also stated my support of my SO with examples...

 

The fact that a visa process has convinced me to go K1 instead of K3 is not a matter of love, trust, and commitment.. but rather the result of a flawed process.

 

Zixuan and I have felt 'married' and committed without question... and as I know many other K1s are probably also doing, using the terms "lao po" and "lao gong", or equivalent.

 

What I'd like to hear from Ed, if your comfortable to share, is if you financially support your SO (no specifics needed) , and if you think it's good to use this as 'evidence of a relationship', taking into consideration the VOs point of view.. since that is the one that matters...

[david_dawei]

Ed,

 

Stay calm.  This is only a thread.

 

In this country culture, do people usually support the wife.  I would say yes.  How about fiancee?  I would say no.

 

Just my opinion.

which country culture? US or China? This is not a distinct culture though.. but a state of two separated by culture and distance...

 

So, I think it's hard to compare to any one culture. Maybe if my fiance was in CA and I lived in MA, would I support her? depends... If she quits her job to take computer classes so that she can work with me, then yes...