Rob and WeiLing

So if the US were to adopt this kind of death-penalty, how would it be applied? As Carl (warpedboard) has stated, it won't be much of a deterrent. Nobody honestly believes they'll lose control of the car, much less kill anybody while driving. "I won't kill anyone, so I won't worry about the drunk-driving death penalty." A more forceful application of the law (kill all drunk-drivers, period) wouldn't fly either. It'd be much easier to just illegalize all alcohol consumption. I, for one, would fight to maintain my right to drink. The better option is to increase education and true rehabilitation for drunks. But we all know how the US gov't feels about education...

All the links actually point to a "click-counting" redirect. When you click, they get paid and then you're taken to another page advertising the same product. ( http://www.i-pctv.com/ ) But I wouldn't trust the product. It looks like some kid just figured out that MS Word could save to .HTML format and designed it. There are a number of additional red flags that I'm seeing: web servers aren't properly configured, blatant trademark abuse (itgoogle, direct-pctv), complete disregard for royalties/costs of TV shows, movies, music... I wouldn't trust this even if it was free.

One of my favorite ways to exchange culture with WeiLing is through music. I introduce her to a few of my favorite songs, and she gives me a few of hers. Beyond her recommendations, I also like to search for other Chinese music... There are many Chinese songs that I like, but I think my favorite so far is ²ÊÔÆÖ®ÄÏ (cai yun zhi nan; "South of Clouds"). Here's a couple links to the music video, shot in Yunnan Province: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLqG8h4DYlc http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XODc4ODIwNjA=.html Regardless of location, one of those links should work. So how about you guys? What is your favorite Chinese song?

This is a case where the USCIS was sued to determine he amount of financial support owed to his ex. The USCIS claimed a "lack of subject matter jurisdiction" - that the support was determined by the courts, and not by the I-864. The case was dismissed. http://www.ca6.uscourts.gov/opinions.pdf/07a0324p-06.pdf Interesting read. I must've misread or read bad info. Of course, I found it when I was searching for something else (prenups, I think) and now I can't find it again. Oh well, thanks for the clarification and source. (It's still a scary document!)

I think a letter from your employer won't hurt. The contract should be able to prove that you make money going forward, and the tax forms are proof of past employment. You should make sure that you meet 125% of the poverty level, as that is the requirement for Adjustment of Status ("AOS" - a step you'll take after marriage in the US). I've read that while the stated K-1 requirement is only 100%, they will often reject if you're below 125% required by AOS. I haven't read whether an "unneeded" cosponsor will help or hurt your case. If you decide to have your father cosponsor, make sure he knows the full extent of his responsibility. I'm not knowledgeable on the K-1, but I've done some research for the CR-1 which shares the I-864 form with AOS. I just commented on this in another post, and some of it is relevant here. http://candleforlove.com/forums/index.php?...st&p=505098 In any case, welcome to the Candle and best of luck! Let us know how it goes!

Hi Tom, welcome to the Candle. I'll be interested to know how your DCF progresses, as I'll be planning to file one in February or March of 2010. (Was it my thread that confused you? I know that the thread became confused for a while.) There were a few things about co-sponsors that I wanted to mention. The I-864 (Affidavit of Support) limits the number of joint sponsors to two. I haven't done too much research into this, but I think it is only expanded to allow "you plus two" if the first joint sponsor cannot support all of the intending immigrants. Since you only intend to sponsor one person, I believe the maximum will be "you plus one" joint-sponsor in this case. You've listed three possible co-sponsors (you plus three). Here is the direct wording: That bold emphasis is part of the original text, and it is important. Make absolutely sure that your co-sponsor(s) all understand the full implications of co-sponsoring. The I-864 is a contract between the sponsor/co-sponsor and the US government stating that you will maintain the intending immigrant (your wife) at 125% of the poverty level until one of six (6) conditions is met. Again, quoting from the I-864: Again, the bold emphasis is part of the original. This has been tested in court, and from my research this contract trumps prenuptial agreements and divorce court decisions. For all intents and purposes, there's no getting out of it. Basically, if your wife divorces you and never remarries, she can choose not to work and just live off of the money her sponsors are required to give her. (Currently, that's over $1,000 each month. If she does take a job or remarry, you need only make up the difference between her income and the 125% poverty line.) As an added level of bureaucracy, each sponsor will have to file an I-865 within 30 days of any change of address. Failure to do so may result in civil fines. I don't want to scare you away, or insinuate that your wife is planning to use/divorce you. There have been extremely few cases of this happening; however, this is still a major consideration for any potential sponsor. Make sure your father or friend knows that they may be held financially responsible even if your marriage goes south. In any case, keep us updated.

I had a chance to ask WeiLing, and she said that 'Xiao mei mei's "other meaning" is a regional thing that Taiwanese and Hong Kongese use. She also said that 'Xiao di di' is the male equivalent. Makes sense. But she said I don't have to worry about it when on mainland China...

Yeah, I've known that 'Ãà mei' can be used for girl. Similar seems true for '¸ç ge and '½ã Jie' also. 'À±Ãà La mei' for 'hot girl', '˧¸ç Shuai ge' for 'handsome guy', 'С½ã Xiao jie' for 'Miss / girl / lady'... I'm sure there's some for µÜ di also. I hate to keep relating everything to English, but I see it similarly to colloquial "Hey bro" or "What's up, sis?" I also hear WeiLing referring to cousins as 'Ge ge' (as opposed to '±í¸ç Biao ge'), or her sister-in-law as 'Jie jie' (as opposed to 'É©É© Sao sao'). If she's not talking about immediate family members, it takes me a minute or two to figure it out. I do get it eventually... Sadly, I won't be visiting Wuhan until mid September at the earliest. I'll be taking weekend trips out from Hangzhou every now and then. Come mid-December, I'll be spending more time there. Will you still be around then?

Haha! She trying to give you an early heart attack? Congrats!!

Sorry, I don't remember where your wife is from. I'm just going to stick with "meimei" until I know better. Terrible pun. Thanks! And as I edited into my last post, Meimei has not heard of that meaning before... Maybe it's based on context and is similar to the American phrase "fireman" (for example): nobody questions what kind of fireman you're talking about in general conversation, but there's also question about its use in sexual innuendo.

A certain part of the female anatomy also referred to by some as the honeypot. Oh lordy! Well no, I can't say I've had any hint as to that meaning. I just called her xiaomeimei in following WeiLing's lead. Even hearing WeiLing call her xiaomeimei, I never thought anything spiteful or derogatory. I'll ask them both; maybe it's a regional thing that doesn't translate to Wuhan? I suppose I should just make a habit of calling her "Meimei" then, eh? Save some possible embarrassment in public, for sure! update: WeiLing is busy with work (going over and signing a contract with a customer), but I had the opportunity to ask Meimei, "Does Xiaomeimei mean younger sister? Or does it have a different meaning? Someone told me it does not mean sister." She responded, "sometimes people who is older than me call me that" and was curious to what other meaning I thought. After explaining, she responded "oh i never know that"

Thanks for the responses about the hugs. I figured that was the case, but it's always nice to have some outside verification. I know I still have much to learn. If I learn something new every day for the rest of my life, I figure I'll have done okay. Really? She's joked with me "I'm really little little sister, right? Haha" But nothing beyond that. A search on Google just brings up users registered to various websites, and MDBG / nciku both do not return anything beyond little little sister. I also know that À±Ãà (la mei) roughly translates to "a hot girl" in a similar way as ˧¸ç (shuai ge) translates to "a handsome guy". I'm very curious to the meaning of xiaomeimei, do you mind elaborating?

Okay. So this morning (Sunday night in China) I had the unique task of defusing a "situation" between WeiLing and Xiao Meimei. Mediating isn't my favorite thing to do, but I like to see it as an opportunity to show how much I do care about her and her family. Little sister recently began her summer vacation and returned from university in Zhuhai to Wuhan and the surrounding area. In the past week-and-a-half, she's used WeiLing's apartment as a base of operations at least three times. Stopped there for a few days before visiting Lao Jia, then before visiting a school friend near Three Gorges Dam, and has once again returned to WeiLing's apartment last night. Now WeiLing always tells me that she's excited to see her sister. They're three years apart and very close. These past few visits, I think Meimei, in her vacationing excitement, may have forgotten to show that she really is appreciative. I'm not doubting that she is appreciative, but just that she's been saying thank you and such. Another factor is that WeiLing works for a travel agency. As is normal for this time of year, she is extremely busy and I try to balance our time talking together with her sleep/rest time. In any case, I'm sure this was a product of WeiLing's work stress in such close proximity to Meimei's vacation excitement/relaxation. This morning, as she was finally free to talk for a bit, a "bomb" exploded. Sister had just finished showering when some words were exchanged. I didn't catch much of anything (Thus far, I only speak about 15 words of their home dialect), but I could tell that WeiLing was upset. I asked her, and she confirmed that she was very angry at her sister. To make a long story short, it boiled down to a sense that Meimei did not ÕäÖØ (value) WeiLing. While allowing WeiLing to cry I was also trying to make sense of the situation. During this time, Meimei had stepped out. I would normally be okay with this, but it was after 11pm over there and sister has been the victim of assault before. Even WeiLing (reluctantly) admitted to being worried about her sister, so I put WeiLing on hold and asked Meimei to return home. I told her that she wouldn't have to talk with WeiLing, but that I will worry if she is outside alone at this time of night. She gave me one of the most bizarre reasons I've ever heard: She just finished washing her hair, and her hair was still wet. (I think she wanted her hair to dry in the night air, but never expressed that directly). Despite this, she agreed to return after five minutes. Twenty minutes later, sister returned. I had managed to calm WeiLing down, and spoke again with СÃÃÃÃ. I confirmed that she was indeed thankful of WeiLing's hospitality, and asked her to be more openly appreciative. I didn't blame her, nor did I tell her that WeiLing was crying/very upset. I then asked her to accept a hug from WeiLing, and to return it. (Meimei told me, in English, that WeiLing has never hugged her). I told Meimei that a hug would show appreciation for her sister, and allow WeiLing to show that she really cares about her sister. When I talked again with WeiLing, I asked her to give meimei a hug. She said she was too embarrassed, but I insisted. She said she would, then put the phone down for a minute or two. I had a hunch, and I doubted that the hug took place. I asked "Äã¸Õ²ÅÓµ±§ËýÂð£¿" and got an affirmative response. "Zhen de ma?" ... A pause. "Jia de." She lied to me**, and apologized profusely. She then explained that Chinese people don't often give hugs. She apologized again, and agreed to actually give the hug. The hug did take place. WeiLing said shortly, "Give me a quick hug." (in Mandarin). But hearing it take place was like watching a light-switch turn on. I could hear both of their voices suddenly coming through smiles. Mission accomplished, situation diffused. And let me tell you: it was exhausting! Especially because all was in Mandarin, save for a few short sentences I had with meimei. But I'm still left with two unanswered questions. Do Chinese girls really dry their hair by leaving the house? Or do you guys think this was just an excuse to take a stroll and let off steam? I'm inclined to say the second, but I don't want to make any assumptions. And my second question. Are family-member hugs uncommon? ÃÃÃà said that ξÁæ has never hugged her, and ξÁæ stated that Chinese people don't often do that. I can't speak for anyone else's family, but hugs have always been a symbol of respect and love in my family. (Although my family does reserve them for departures/greetings or times requiring support) PS - I've tried to intersperse pinyin, hanzi, and English so that the story will still be accessible to all readers. I've also refrained from calling Meimei by name (which is RongFang; ÈØ·¼) as I'm making a habit to simply call her "little sister" / xiao meimei. ** - While I was disappointed with the lie, I didn't let that change that I was appreciative and supportive of the honesty that followed. I can only think of two or three times total that she's lied. And each time it was simply due to complete embarrassment. I trust her completely. There have been some other things she could have lied about and chose not to.

It's understandable really that they would want revenge. Hard to undo what's already been done. This won't be going away anytime soon. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jul/0...break-out-china Here's some video. I always find it interesting. That link suggested "sticks and shovels" while Don quoted iron bars and machetes. In the video I just saw a bunch of sticks/iron bars. I didn't see one machete. I didn't see one shovel. You get one Uighur gardening and suddenly the mob is armed with shovels, right? Okay, I'm being a little facetious. I still don't trust the media to report anything accurately. It's been all about sensationalizing the stories for the past 20+ years... And if I were Rebiya Kadeer, I'd just keep my mouth shut. Marching in DC makes me begin to believe to China's claim of outside separatists...

Was it CNN that said China suffers 80,000 riots a year, or was it Fox?

I don't have an Apple device, but he indicates it seems to work pretty well. We do have several other devices (Twinbridge drawing pad for PC, "expensive" Yishin 888 black and white, and a Sony Palm OS PDA) with the same character recognition software, and, like I said, my wife is a holy terror with all of them. I can usually enter a fairly complex character, once I figure a mean approximation of the stroke order. Stroke order is an integral part of drawing Chinese characters. The OCR software is bad - the handwriting recognition software is excellent, including script formats. You can draw something that looks like a '2', and it will interpret it as 'kou' MikeLove is not discussing the iPhone, but rather his software (PlecoDict) as it is being developed for all variety of Smart Phones. It took me a few times over to understand these posts as I am neither familiar with smartphone development nor am I familiar with PlecoDict. What I do know, gleaned from the full thread, is that MikeLove is developing PlecoDict for "jailbroken" (or hacked) iPhones in addition to a wide array of other smart phones. What he says is this: Using the full-screen input for our software, it is much more accurate than iPhone's character input. "My guy" is not discussing an older Apple device, as iPhone/iPod Touch were the first Apple device that required a touch screen and/or arbitrary input. Previous Apple devices did not have any kind of Chinese input as they were simply music players. Not long ago (week or two), I shelled out a measly $10 for the new Apple iPhone/iPod Touch OS software 3.0. I can tell you, from experience, that "hairyleprechaun" is discussing the iPhone input (as it is in OS 3.0, released 17 June 2009). Actually, hairyleprechaun is arguing that the default iPhone drawn input is better than MikeLove makes it out to be. hairyleprechaun says that he can draw a character quite quickly, and the iPhone will still recognize it. Again, I implore you to look at his screenshots. If you like, I will create a screenshot of whatever drawing you would like. Smiley face? ¸Ð? Scribbles? As for stroke order, I know that it is an integral part of the Chinese script. But for my own purposes, it is the bottom of my priorities in terms of learning the language. I focus most on listening, followed by speaking, reading, and finally writing, in that order. Most of my Chinese learning has been informal through immersion and use, but I have taken one short class on the basics of the language so I'm familiar with the general rules of stroke order. That doesn't mean I always get them right. You also said, yourself, that you do okay "once [you] figure a mean approximation of the stroke order." I never said drawn characters was useless or impossible. I simply was responding to Smitty's question: "for those who use Chinese on computers, good idea or not?" I told him that for my own purposes, it was not a good idea and I find myself using pinyin input almost exclusively (with the exception being when I don't recognize a character). I also mentioned that the one time I asked a Chinese person to use it, she also got it wrong. Granted, she was a nanny to a family in Beijing and may not have had as much formal education as others, but she was still a native Chinese woman. Edit: P.S - As compared to the iPod Touch and iPhone, Yinshin 888 is slightly expensive. Further, convert its price to RMB and the Chinese standard of living and it's a bit of money; not something that a Chinese would want to part with had she already bought it. As I stated before, I'm not an Apple Fanboy, but I would recommend the iPod Touch over even the Yinshin 888 to anyone looking for a new pocket dictionary.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you've misread: Starting from this post on the page you linked, you can see a few screenshots of the iPhone's drawing input. The shots also confirm what I said earlier: Stroke order is more important than character likeness. That singular focus is what kills me, but at the same time, impresses that poster. I think it all depends on what you're looking to use it for... Before I went to China the first time, I looked at getting one of those black/white pocket translators for myself. I'd seen many international students use them with great success. Then I saw the price. Ouch! If you want a half-decent one that will include pinyin, hanzi, and English, you'll end up paying a hefty amount. More if you want it to speak clearly at all. I just did another search and found some as low as $90. Check the reviews and they're pretty abysmal. Instead, I decided I would get more use from the iPod Touch. However, I don't think that was an option when Ying was getting one. Further, I think she's used to her pocket translator. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Yep. I'd like to see someone who can draw faster than they type.

I'll admit. I'm not a big fan of Apple or Macs. I do own an iPod Touch, and that is usually good (though I do have my complaints with it). One of the major reasons I bought it was for the multitude of free CHN-ENG-CHN dictionaries on it. (Don't buy the paid ones. They're not worth it. Free ones are better and usually have as many or more features. Only difference is almost all free ones are based on CC-CEDICT. Again, I have my complaints with CC-CEDICT, but I'll keep that discussion for a different time.) In any case, that screenshot dnoblett posted looks identical to the iPod Touch/iPhone input. If you don't follow the correct stroke order, it will present some pretty wacky options. The problem then rises that there is no way to select a character beyond the four listed on the right. Your intended character isn't there? Looks like you gotta erase it all and rewrite. The character displayed (±±¾©'s ±± bei) is pretty simple, and shows probably the best use scenario with it. I can't speak for the desktop version of the software, but trying to write ¸Ð (gan) sucks, even when following proper stroke order. I've had native Chinese, non-English speakers draw onto my iPod, only to erase and redraw about 4 times before finding the character she wanted. Further, I find it's usually faster to simply "type" the character with pinyin. Because of these reasons, I recommend avoiding the drawn input whenever possible. Every native speaker that I know uses Pinyin or BoPoMoFo without issue. (I still use my iPod's drawn input when I don't recognize a character. But if I'm not familiar with the character, I sometimes have stroke order problems which leads to frustration in finding it.) So... It's the new gadget for the week.

Seems you've already done so... Maybe not "who is better"; instead a similar "which system is better." I won't take the bait on this one

I took the last two questions to mean present tense ideas of the U.S., so I answered with my impression of what WeiLing expects. (U.S. just okay, China more fun) The only reason she wants to live in the U.S. is to be with me. She knows we'll be happy together regardless of where we live, but I may look at long-term employment in China before too long...

That is fascinating. Chinese culture seems to be moving away from gender-neutral pronouns, while American culture has been pushed toward them. (wikipedia/Singular_they#Gender-neutral_language_movement). In my own experience, WeiLing has always been conscious of the (previously mentioned) Western focus on gender. When describing mixed-gender groups, she'll commonly type "Ëû£¨Ëý£©ÃÇ", and is very receptive to my corrections when she misuses "he/she" or "his/her" on the phone. She's made great strides, but is still plagued by one pronoun-related problem. WeiLing is uncomfortable pronouncing "her." Instead, she'll just say "he" and drop the r. She's aware of the differences between pronouns, but just can't jump this hurdle. Anyone else run into this problem?

When I was first in China, I spent a week living with a Beijing family. I spent most of my free time playing with their two daughters, reading English books to them, etc. I don't remember the exact ages, but I believe they were 10 and 4. Really sweet girls. The little one had quite a temper to her. In any case, I woke one morning and groggily walked to the family room. Much to my surprise, Hanna (younger) was in the middle of the floor, sitting on something with her pants down. I was not quite sure what was going on until after I had woken more fully. (I am not a morning person at all.) When Hanna was done with her "business", she stood up and pulled her pants back up. The Mom quickly grabbed this pink plastic tub/bowl and went to the restroom to wash it out. Later that week, Hanna was in the family room playing with my iPod Touch, or drawing a picture for me. Something like that, when she got up suddenly and ran to the middle of the room. She called something out, and immediately pulled down her pants. Mama wasn't home yet (it was mid-evening), so A Yi ran to the bathroom to fetch that pink tub. Hanna sat on it and a horrible smell began to permeate the room. Again, the tub was snatched away and washed immediately after use. Both times, I was caught off guard, left feeling awkward and unaware of how I was "supposed" to act. Both times I just sat, looked the opposite direction, and fidgeted with whatever book/phone/iPod was in my hands. Amy (this family's older daughter) never seemed to even notice. Has anyone else seen those tubs? Is that normal for young kids in Chinese culture? (I believe Hanna had grown past slit-crotch pants)

Congratulations!!! If you don't mind my asking, were the questions asked in Mandarin or in English? And which language did your wife respond in? If in Mandarin, how well does your wife speak English? Again, congratulations!! -Rob

I will actually be living there from 08/2009 until at least 06/2010 or so... I should have been more clear on the above. I fly there Aug 21, arrive Aug 22, and stay there.

That was also my understanding. Here's my projected timeline: 11/2008 - Met online 01/2009 - Met in Hangzhou (pictures from my Camera and her phone; her phone pictures have date stamp) 02/2009 ~ 07/2009 - Long distance, talk every day (Skype call records/QQ chat logs) 08/2009 - I fly to Hangzhou, propose (more of a formality; she's told me she will accept) 09/2009 ~ 12/2009 - Meet on weekends (She lives in Wuhan, I study in Hangzhou) 12/2009 ~ 01/2010 - Travel China with her (Shanghai, 3 gorges dam, Tibet if we can, meet family, etc) 02/2010 - Get married, Spring fest with familyif getting maried 02/2010 than DCF 6 months later would be 08/2010. 03/2010 ~ 05/2010 - Live together in Hangzhou 03/2010 - File DCF would have to be 08/2010..... . Then, when DCF goes through, return to the USA together From what I've seen, income requirement is 125% of poverty line (and where it's actually 100% of poverty line, they still like at least 125%). I have multiple family members willing to cosponsor, and each well above the requirement. How do cosponsors affect the outcomes? Do CIS or GUZ look down upon need of a cosponsor? You guys continue to be incredibly helpful. I can't express enough how much I do appreciate it. Tom and Ling Does the DCF require the couple to live together for 6 months after marriage? Or simply that the US citizen has been living in China for at least 6 months, and that the couple are married? I've always read it as two separate conditions. Even on the I-130 instructions, I can't find much info on DCF so I'd appreciate if you have any clarification.