Rob and WeiLing

That was also my understanding. Here's my projected timeline: 11/2008 - Met online 01/2009 - Met in Hangzhou (pictures from my Camera and her phone; her phone pictures have date stamp) 02/2009 ~ 07/2009 - Long distance, talk every day (Skype call records/QQ chat logs) 08/2009 - I fly to Hangzhou, propose (more of a formality; she's told me she will accept) 09/2009 ~ 12/2009 - Meet on weekends (She lives in Wuhan, I study in Hangzhou) 12/2009 ~ 01/2010 - Travel China with her (Shanghai, 3 gorges dam, Tibet if we can, meet family, etc) 02/2010 - Get married, Spring fest with family 03/2010 ~ 05/2010 - Live together in Hangzhou 03/2010 - File DCF Then, when DCF goes through, return to the USA together From what I've seen, income requirement is 125% of poverty line (and where it's actually 100% of poverty line, they still like at least 125%). I have multiple family members willing to cosponsor, and each well above the requirement. How do cosponsors affect the outcomes? Do CIS or GUZ look down upon need of a cosponsor? You guys continue to be incredibly helpful. I can't express enough how much I do appreciate it.

First of all, thanks for the responses. I'm sorry to hear about the stress that the tourist visa fiasco put on your relationship, 2mike&jin, but appreciate your willingness to share that story. Based on responses here, I've focused my research and discussions with WeiLing. We've decided that it's best for me to abandon plans to teach abroad (suanle), and directly file a CR-1 before heading to the U.S. I know that I'm asking a lot, but in finding the answers to other questions, I have a few new ones: If the DCF drags on, how easy is it to get that "visitor" stamp? Do I just wave the marriage certificate at a Chinese entrance officer? Or is it something more complicated? And, while living together in the States, will a yearly trip back to China for spring festival cause trouble with her permanent residency? I tend to think that a short trip (2 weeks or so) wouldn't, but I don't want to make any assumptions.

I'd recommend Skype. It's not exactly the same as Magic Jack. You can't just plug a regular phone into it. There are some Skype-ready phones available, but I have no experience calling from anything other than my computer or my iPod Touch. I've grown to like the "hands-free" aspect of a headset and mic (though I hate being "tethered to my computer"), and the iPhone Skype application allows me to wander my house while talking with WeiLing. If you have an iPhone, you can use your Skype account with wifi internet. I don't know if Skype works over an iPhone data plan--I only have the non-phone iPod Touch. Skype does maintain call records up to 6-months, including date and time, duration of call, and the number that you've called. These records can also be exported to a .CSV file, which any spreadsheet program (Microsoft Excel, for example) will open. Pricing is very reasonable. Calls to China cost $0.021/min, and that includes mobile, landline, Beijing, Guangzhou, or any other phone in China. Calls to the USA are similarly priced, with the only exception being Alaska (at $0.056/min). Alternatively, you can pay a flat fee with a subscription. They advertise that it is unlimited, but tack on a "fair usage" policy that limits it to 10,000 minutes per month. Subscription options range from US/Canada at about $3/month to World for about $12/mo (discounted when 3mo or 12mo plan purchased). It's pretty easy to setup and use, but I know that Skype isn't the answer for everyone. Hope this helps!

Actually, I was testing out the Chinese SIM card to see if it'd work in the US. I was lucky in that I thought to copy all my contacts to the SIM card before trying it out (and phonebook subsequently showed duplicated entries: one set for phone, one set for SIM). Of course, Chinese SIM didn't work in US. When I put US SIM card back in, all my text messages and phone-memory contacts were gone. Whoops! When I first visited China in January, I purchased a phone, sim card, and recharge card. The SIM cost only 20 RMB, but the shop didn't sell recharge cards. I found recharge cards at a little newspaper stand on the side of the road, and accidentally purchased a recharge for the wrong company. Whoops again! I guess this is my long winded way of saying: Back up your phone contacts, and make sure you buy a SIM and recharge card from the same cell provider!

The SIM card is what ties the phone to the account. When he removes it, the phone will not be able to identify with a carrier until he inserts a new one. Something to be aware of: Some phones will wipe all user data when the SIM card changes: Phone book, call/message history, etc. (For example, my Motorola RAZR v3xx did this.) I'm believe the assumption to be that a regular user will not change the SIM card, and the wipe will protect privacy. I don't know if the iPhone does this.

WeiLing and I are tenatively planning to wed in February next year. What would you recommend for the 5-10 months that I'll have to be in the States? If at all possible, I'd like to have her with me. (And wow! I'm very impressed with such a quick response! Thanks!)

Let me start by introducing myself and my situation. Best to start from the beginning, right? I'm Rob, and my Chinese fianc¨¦e is ξÁæ (Wei Ling). I was introduced to WeiLing by her younger sister (ÈØ·¼; Rong Fang) whom I met on Livemocha. It was an introduction of utility: I was looking to learn some more Mandarin before I departed on a 3-week trip to Beijing, Xi'an, Shanghai, and Hangzhou in January of this year. RongFang was busy with the final weeks of her fall semester, and felt that WeiLing would have more time to chat with me. To this day, I'm still working to learn more. I feel as though I'm beginning to become conversational, but sometimes reference a dictionary for specific words. A lot can be said for language learning by chatting (with moderate to heavy dictionary use). In any case, it soon became clear that WeiLing and I had a mutual enjoyment of our chats together. We exchanged some pictures, and on a rare occasion we were able to engage in webcam/voice chat. The ability to see almost-instantaneous feedback really eases the difficulty of long distance friendship/relationships; a smirk, giggle, or twitch of an eyebrow... truly amazing things. Because I had a few days of free time in Hangzhou, we planned to meet there. She flew in from Wuhan, and I met her at the airport. If I had to choose a single best time of my life, I would likely point to those few days. And trust me, that made it all the more difficult to say goodbye. Since that time, my Mandarin has improved. Again, it's not great but it is still vastly superior to my ability 5 months ago. Our relationship has also developed. I call her on a daily basis, and we typically chat for an hour or two; we can easily talk for longer, but timezones and responsibilities usually prevent this. (Skype is wonderful in facilitating a low-cost means of phone contact.) As one can probably assume, I've fallen deeply in love with her, and her with me. I've loved before, but this is a feeling beyond any I've known. I am confident that she is the one I want to marry. We've discussed many of the major issues (number of children we would like to have, where we would like to live, whether we will both work and hire a nanny or not, religion, etc), and have a strong mutual understanding/agreement. We've both told our parents and families about the other, and have their support. I will be returning to China in August of this year. I fly out in the morning of the 21st, and arrive at my final destination late evening of the 22nd. I'll be staying for a year. Now herein lies the problem: I'll be studying there. I am still a student. After two semesters of intensive Mandarin study, I will need to return and complete at least one more semester in the US before I finish my bachelor degree. Depending on some bureaucracy, I may need to complete two. After graduation, I intend to teach English in China for a few years before pursuing a more permanent career in the States. It's something I've wanted to do even before I met WeiLing. I'm 23 and my birthday is in January. She's 24 and her birthday is in March. She has expressed that she would like to marry this year or next, and that she will not stand to be an unmarried 26-year-old woman. I can understand that, and agree with the feeling that if the intention is genuine, a couple will be able to manage any hardships resulting from an undelayed marriage; waiting for the "perfect" time will result in an endless wait. I also understand that in some Asian cultures, women are expected to marry before this age. In Japan, for example, unmarried 26+ women are referred to as "kurisumasu kaaki" (because nobody wants a Christmas Cake after the 25th). I've tried to do my homework and read about our (WeiLing and my) options for her US visa. I will admit that I am still a bit lost when it comes to the process, and it has taken me a few times through the various posts/FAQs to garner what little understanding I now have. (Not a direct criticism of Candle for Love, but it is very difficult to know where really to begin reading here.) Taking everything into consideration, here are my evaluations of the options: K-1 visa (fianc¨¦ / fianc¨¦e) - Since we have not yet married, this is still an option. The marriage must take place in the US within 90-days of the visa issuance. For the timing to be right, the visa would have to be issued at the beginning of Summer 2010. My concerns are that I do not know how long the processing will take (or if it is too late to start), and that I do not have sufficient income to sponsor such a visa because I am a student. I haven't read of a financial requirement, but instead read that a majority of the denials stem from insufficient finances/income of the US citizen. Because of these concerns, I believe this to not be one of my better options. K-3 visa (spouse) - Right now, we are not eligible for this visa; we haven't yet married; though that is relatively easy to remedy. I don't know if this visa has a similar income requirement (official or otherwise). I know that this visa takes between 18 and 24 months, and can delay even further appeals are needed. I'm looking at this visa as our long-term answer. Can WeiLing and I begin the application process before we are married--with the condition that we will be married before approval? CR1 visa (spouse) - I really do not know the difference between this and the K-3 visa. Tourist visa - Because I only intend to return to America for the duration of one to two semesters, I feel as though this is the best short-term option for WeiLing to accompany me. My concerns are with the requirement to prove that she will not illegally immigrate. I feel as though having a US Citizen husband will be strong grounds for the feeling that she will illegally immigrate. Will an active K-3 visa application work to negate that belief? That is, will the K-3 visa show that although illegal immigration is a possibility, the couple (WeiLing and I) intend to lawfully abide by the tourist visa's duration of stay? If I purchase a "house" in China, with the intent of living there with her while I teach, will that help to prove that she will not illegally immigrate? If parents/family/employment/banking all do not prove that a person will not immigrate, what kind of thing will? Or is it simply a clause to allow the visa officer to deny for any reason? Do others in the community have experience with tourist visa Beyond my concerns listed above, I am also curious to learn about my options for a long-term visa in China. If a US visa will not be immediately (as in, within about 4-5 years) available for WeiLing, I'd like to investigate the option of a long-term Chinese visa for myself. I don't suppose this is the right forum for that, but perhaps someone can also lead me to a similar forum? And that's the main bulk of my thoughts for now. I would like to say that I really, genuinely appreciate any clarification, response, assistance, or guidance. I understand that everyone is busy with their own schedules, their own loved ones, and I want to thank everyone for taking the time to put together this community and encouraging/informing each other. I know that I can be overly verbose sometimes, so I really do appreciate the time and understanding from others in reading this post. On behalf of myself and WeiLing, Thank you. -Rob P.S. Sorry for the cheesy pun in topic title/topic description. I just had to do it.