yuan fen

What kills me is when Jie asks, " How long ? " As I look at it going forward it appears it will never end, but when I look at the time that has elapsed since meeting her, it seems like yesterday. I think about her every waking moment, and have gone through being unproductive at work, school, and home. Now I feel Okay, but deep down it still tears at me. " LOVE and WAR " In love with Jie, but at war with my emotions. Deep down I feel that all of this will pay off big time. The waiting only strengthens our love. I see it as the " tear down period ", after this we will rebuild our life together. I also think of it as; We met, we were merely caterpillars. We wait, we are in the cocoon. Then the day comes, we become butterflies. Then the " training " begins, Reality sets in, and...................... Looking at the status on the hour/daily only adds wood to the fire of my insanity. I try not to.

During my visit in December Jie had a Harley emblem, which she was sewing upsidedown on the back of a pair of leather pants she was designing. I asked if she knew what the emblem meant. Not a clue.... "It just looks pretty," she said. This reminds me, "It's the little things" Eric

SO sings all the time, and I love it. Actually I recorded her singing on my cell, and when she sends a text message; BAM! "Message tone of Lao Po singer." I Love it.

Excellent! Congratulations!

Good comment. I agree. I feel it is not a one-way street. Exposure can be one of the greatest learning tools. Also, for Jie and I, talking on the phone has only accelerated our progress. Plus, hearing her laugh at my attempts is worth millions .A laugh is common in any language. It is very powerful.

I agree. 3. Misinterpretation. This has to be the biggest one. We talk in both languages. If I don't understand, I say so on the spot. The other day SO was talking about "blood." She did not know the English word, but instead of saying it in Manderin (syair yair), SO says, "hoong jyo." I knew from the context of the conversation what she meant. I've found this to be a double edged sword, and it does take alot of discipline. Eric

Ahhhhh. This is a prime example how CFL can support you when your down. I salute to all. WOW, I'm speechless. Eric

OT: Yes. this was back in July. There are not too many days up in Jin Mao that one can get clear shots. Cough! Cough! Every time I see a clear day I think, " go to Jin Mao and get the shots", but I always get side tracked. Eric

I'm not going to mention anything about VO stories to my SO. Something tells me not to stir the pot on this one. I will tell her that many other applicants may possibly talk of such myths while she is waiting. Don't listen too much to this. Everything will be fine, today is different. It is a happy day, but they may ask more information and we will have to wait a little more time. No problem. Be confident, truthful, and show respect to the person asking you questions. I fear telling her of such "myths" will draw too much energy from her during the interview. Possibly not knowing she will feel more relaxed. Stereotypes, Nicknames, Profiling ,whatever we want to call it could do more harm than good. Just a thought. E

Jie and I have talked of retirement in China as well. Shang hai is a fun place, but expensive. We've talked of a summer place up north, Ha er bing, and a winter place down south, maybe not too far south, Hangzhou. Close enough to Shang hai when we want to go. Looks like you've got some pinyin "skeels". hehehe Chalk it up to dialect, thats right its just a different dialect. The people are here are great. Best thing I've found was reading FAQs. If it's not there I would be suprised. Welcome again, Eric

But, it was just a heads up. There is a wealth of info here. It has eased my worries, and even given me smiles when I'm down. Eric

Hello Patrick. Welcome. My SO is Shang hai too. Don't be suprised if the E-mail address gets clipped. But ,

I was asked the same question, although Jie also creatively came up with the name "Jieny." But I said when you come to America your Western Name will the "B"-word" If I make a mistake I'll call you the "B-word." If you don't like what I'm doing..."B-word." If you raise your voice to me..."B-word." Yes you will be my,,,,,, "B-word." Yep,......"B-word." My only,."B-word." "B-word." "B-word." "B-word." "BOSS" Hehehehehehehehehe I had her going with this one. E

Good point. Wow, I see this in our pictures and videos too. We look like we are addicted to each other. Darn. And, she always says her friends ask her if she knows anything other than lao gong, lao gong. Where do those dern donkeys learn to drive anyway. Must have been Donkey see Donkey do. I'm sure.

This is interesting. In all, frauds would have these bases covered I would think. Communication/Visits/ Photos Possibly I'm wrong. I feel that the couples with a real relationship, but they can't afford these items, in many cases get the short end. This is very sad. Really, it appears to be how the ball bounces in the final seconds. No proof, some proof, enough proof, too much proof? No matter the case. It seems to be left up to someones best "opinion" in the end. It must be hard to be a VO. Let the bad guy through, make the good guy suffer. It would weigh heavy on my mind if I were in their position. I respect VOs. I don't believe this is their intention. (e.g.) Stopped by the police. 1) You say "yep," $200.00 fine. 2) You say "Yes Sir," get a warning. We will also show respect, be calm, and confident. Trust me, I do worry, but it takes so much energy. E

Ya'll sure do know how to help me keep my sanity. I read these things about tin cans and smoke signals and think, Yep, I can smile still. Talking on the phone with Jie is a must for me. Good links. Thanks. Eric

Just like that. Wow! Ken and Jie, Good Luck is with you. Congrats. My Jie was happy to hear of the success also. Eric

Jie does'nt have a computer either. So I had no choice, but to call.

"Interpretation" when learning a new language, or even attempting to teach a new language, I believe, should be taken serious. I feel "Misinterpretation" should also take some reasonable thought. Would this also revert back to cultures? Things I always try to remember. Offensive to who? Always think about what is said. If you tell your best friend they're a "Pin Head," your still buddies in most cases. In another culture this could be insulting. Even body language could fall within these lines. Touching a person? Who knows. With Jie and I, we also talk with our hands when together in conversation. Hey, there's a thought. Proof of; the two communicating in sign language ......... That's what "Rights" can do for ya.....mmmm, right? Just keep practicing, slowly, practicing.... Then there is no other way to do it. Just go there, and jump in the water. If you can't swim, try harder. I also find that writing to my Degreed Colleagues in Shang hai, writing in this form helps tremendously. Line by line.

Same here. I always joke with Jie: "Chinese no understand, English no understand." "A language of our own." But, as time goes by she gets better, and better. Sometimes I think I get worse, and worse.

Possibly "the little book," I remember reading about this in CFL somewhere. The one with hand written phrases in English. Jie has one, she tries to hide it too. This could be the answer. Hmmmmmm Yes, this may be a good starting point.

Hmmmmmmmmm. I have " I ONLY MARRY OUTSIDE MY CULTURE" tatooed on my forehead. Made ya look, didn't it? Anyway, Me? 1st wife, Hispanic , 10 yrs ( cheatin Beach ) Then, I spent 3 yrs in pitty. 2nd wife, African American @ 2 yrs ( felt like she married too young and split ) Then, I spent 4 yrs living single, not looking to ever marry again, Then, BAAAAAAAAM!!!!!! Like a traffic light in the desert. The unexpected. 3rd times the charm. @ Yi bei zi. yong yuan. xin teng. Ai wo de lao po. Stuff Happens. E

For us? We have come a long way in our conversations. At first, Jie could not speak English at all. I've tried all of the above to learn, and I've found the audio works good for me. It allows me to pronounce the tones correctly, and saves some face in front of an audience. We text message in "pinyin," but we talk Chinglish/Manglish, whatever, a lot on the phone. Speaking on the phone an hour or more a day has really helped. In October "05" we talked about 90 hrs for the month. At first Jie said, "too much money finish." Then I explained, " It give us good face too much tao kieng (talking)." "Give VO too much telephone look." And Yes, we have spelled English words in pinyin. Many times. Pei pao (people), whatever it takes. It will come in time. Practice, practice, practice. I started out teaching her many words, and gave her an example by stumbling through the dictionary. Some things I found helped her in the begining. Not useing compound/complex wording in conversation. Leave out words like, "the and a." Keep it simple in the beginning. (e.g.) today shopping, good sleep? Lao gong work. And when I speak? Slowly, very slowly, and clear. It most likely will start with a mix of both . For us, it is a together thing we enjoy. " I brought my pencil, give me something to write on man" Van Halen.......... And, when you are "Hot for Teacher".....Ooooohhhh Man!!!!! E

Ah, Yes. Beijing Quanjude Hepingmen Roast Duck Resturant! The driver told us that this was the only place in Beijing, back in December. At the time the poultry in Beijing was put on hold, so to speak. Oh, they close down during the afternoon, but re-open for dinner. E

During our trip to Beijing we visited The Great Wall. From the Holiday Inn Downtown Beijing we talked to the travel agency in the lobby. The lady said, "from the agency to hire a driver it will cost 800 RMB, but I have a friend who will take you for 700 RMB." Go Figure? We chose the 700 RMB price. The driver takes you to The Wall, and waits for you until you have your fill. The car was very nice, Oldsmobile, so much better than the traditional VW Choo-zoo cher. I swear those things must run on rubber bands. It was about an hour trip to the Badaling section of The Wall, although we did a pit stop at a Temple. The Temple was nice, which for 300 RMB you can buy insence for the monk to burn, then another 90 RMB for more insence to burn for wealth, then if the monks are talking to people. Well this is on donation terms........Asking 1800 RMB. Lao po said, " xiao qi lao gong must give 50 RMB." anyway........