IllinoisDave

Good luck to you and your Hubby Erika.

I'm also very sorry to hear about your white slip. And while I don't doubt the sincerity of your relationship, I can't say I'm all that surprised by the VO's decision. That doesn't mean I agree with it. Just that, given ALL the factors involved, I can see where the VO may be coming from. 1.You're both comparatively very young. ( I would imagine in contrast to the majority of visa applications GUZ gets. I know it shouldn't make any difference or be a factor to a government employee, but there it is) 2.Neither of you have a great deal of earning potential at the moment. (Yes, you have a co-sponsor and technically that's all you need. But it's just one more factor in the VO's mind) 3.You've known each other for a relatively short time. (Again, I know some of us have even shorter times, but most of us don't have the other factors working against us) 4. I gather that you're fiance has been in the US only since 1996. (I don't know if this factor played a role in the decision or not. I included it only because it's possible.) Taking all these factors into account, and keeping in mind that VOs have VERY WIDE discretion when it comes to granting visas, I can't say I'm shocked by the decision. Is it fair? Certainly not. But, as Chilton and Tsap and others can attest to, the system isn't set up to be fair. I don't mean that to sound cold. I have great empathy for you and your fiance. But looking at it realistically,which GUZ does, that's the conclusion I come to. IMHO one of the factors that led to your denial is also one of your greatest assets going forward. You're both still very young. Without sounding too cliche-ish, you both have the rest of your lives to look forward to. And I believe they could still be spent together, possibly without as much trouble as you might think. If I were you, (take this with as much salt as it deserves) I would give yourselves some more time to get to know each other while your fiance continues his education. I would wait maybe six,eight months or even a year and if you still feel the same, then get married and file for CR-1 or K-3 or whatever. Or better yet IMO, give it even some more time after the marriage before filing. I realize this doesn't get you both in the same country as quickly as you may like. But as I said before, you're still young and have plenty of time to spend together. And after the white slip, your goal is to change the perception of the next VO. A longer courtship,a marriage and a continued commitment to the relationship may look a whole lot better to that next VO than your present circumstances did to this one. Again, I'm very sorry for the white slip and I agree with the others that it really isn't fair. But, that's not going to change the reality. The path that I've laid out may not work either and many here may disagree with it. It's just my opinion for the best way I see that you can get what you ultimately want. I wish you both all the best.

CONGRATULATIONS!! Great and informative write-up.

I just asked my wife. Like Dale said, as near as I can tell it sounds like about 2 or 3 inches. (the height of the slot that is)

I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

So are you saying there is no inbetween? My wife cooks Chinese only because she is 37 and this is what she knows how to cook. We prefer to eat Chinese because it is much healthier for you. So we are mostly on a Chinese food diet. We eat American, Vietnamese, Italian or whatever from time to time. She has been here for 3 years, loves it and her English is improving to the stage she will start massage therapy school in Spetember. So just because someone sticks to a Chinese diet does not make them anti-American. That is not what I am saying. Did you read the two posts that Ken wrote? His wife does not want to learn English and he needs to learn Chinese and she hates all American food. What will she do here if she does not know any English and refuses to learn? Eat whatever you want, I don't care. As long as you are happy that is all that counts. In my house we eat both Chinese and American. We do eat healthy and go running every night. I do believe we are all proud Americans, just with different views. Thanks This is what she says right now... having never been to the US and only getting exposed to it by McD and KFC Lucky she'll even go to the US after that experience B) Allow a person to share or spill some emotion in the moment when they feel a little insecure about an unknown future experience; she cannot see or control the future experience at this moment. Give her a year in the US and many things change. or not. David's right as usual. Many people make statements about not doing this or not liking that when facing something new or uncertain, only to change their mind when they're acually doing it. This is a natural reaction that most sane people can recognize, relate to, and empathize with. Only the most narrow-minded among us would be unwilling to give a person the benefit of the doubt that moving 7,000 miles to a completely different country and culture is very daunting. And that they just might have a little of the insecurity that David mentioned until they get here and become more comfortable with their new surroundings. My wife and I just had a conversation about this and she agrees that she's changed her way of thinking on things, including food, since she's been here. At first she didn't want to eat any American food. But as we try thnigs that are new to her or that she's not used to, she finds herself liking more and more of them. I don't know Ken's wife but I for one am willing to give her enough credit as a person and as a functioning adult that she'll be able to adapt to things here enough so that her and Ken can share a very happy life together here in the US. It's called growing as a person. It's easier for some more than others.

I bought some of those plastic insert pages that go into albums. I cut off the tabs on the side with the binder holes and punched two holes in the top of each for an ACCO fastener. Put the pics in them so the VO could read the names and dates through the clear plastic in back. Fastened them together with the ACCO fastener. That way we could include as many as we wanted and if they were too thick to slide under the glass, my wife could just remove the fastener and pass them under. You could also leave the side tabs with the holes on the inserts to keep them in an album until needed.

Seems like you have two issues. Length of stay and "Will she come back?" As to the first, as others have mentioned it's not only common to go for an extended period but practical. Spending that much money on a plane ticket and only staying for two or three weeks? And after she's been away from China for so long? I'm sure she's got many friends and relatives who want to see not only her but the new baby as well. I"m trying to see the issue from her side, not just from the American "everyone takes two weeks vacation" perspective. JMHO. As for the second issue? Unless she's made specific threats about not coming back or keeping your son from you, all you an go on is your gut instinct. You know her better than any of us so I don't feel comfortable giving you advice on what to do. My opinion though, is that not letting her go or restricting her to a short stay is bound to have a negative effect on a relationship regardless. I don't envy the dilemma you face. I hope it works out for you and your family. Good luck.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24965985/ Jackie Chan has the Segway dealership for China. They have been purchased for use at the Olympics. Why would you assume that these are fakes??? I think it's "Intellectual Property Rights Month". I thought "Intellectual Property" was stuff like software........ It is. I'm just giving Darnell the business cause he mentioned IP rights in another thread.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24965985/ Jackie Chan has the Segway dealership for China. They have been purchased for use at the Olympics. Why would you assume that these are fakes??? I think it's "Intellectual Property Rights Month".

Now if they can just get the terrorists to weigh themselves down with 50 pounds of algae, they shouldn't have any problems catching up to them on their Segways.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

If at all possible try to go to Xi'an. I have been there twice, the first on business, our potential customer stopped our meeting mid afternoon to take us to the warriors. We had to work late into the night , but it was worth it. The second visit was for pleasure. In addition to the warriors , there is good museum and other sights. It is easy to get to Xi'an from Beijing by air or rail. On the last visit we stayed at the Bell Tower hotel, right across the street from the Bell Tower and near some great restaurants, and just a short walk from the Muslim Quarter Thanks Ed. Given your extensive travel history, if you say Xi'an is the place to go, that's good enough for me. It's funny too that last night I just got around to watching a Nat'l Geo. channel piece on Qin. It really piqued my interest in the warriors again. So Xi'an it is. And that's my final answer.

Whenever I'm in China the urge to retire there is strong. I love most everything about it when I'm there. But ya know that old joke about other people's kids? The best thing about having 'em around is that they go home eventually. I wonder if there isn't a little bit of that going on when I'm in China. I enjoy the hell out of it while I'm there, but in the back of my mind I know I'll be going home soon. That's not to say I wouldn't want to retire there. It's just that once I've been back here for awhile, the negatives of living there become a little clearer. But then, so do the negatives of living here. So I just can't say right now one way or another. Besides,I've got 20+ years before I retire. A whole lot can happen in both countries between now and then. I'll check back in about 2030.

GOOD LUCK!!

Jump to conclusions much?

CONGRATULATIONS!

Very tactfully put. And very true. Congratulations on the PINK! And thanks for the detailed debriefing. Sounds like you both were very well prepared. Great job!

For the first 4 months or so all we ate was her Chinese cooking. She's gradually become fond of some American food though. She likes hash browns,especially from McDonalds, steaks from anywhere, root beer and chocolate ice cream.(not together) But her favorite has to be Olive Garden. The food's just ok, but that whole all-you-can-eat soup,salad and bread for lunch really gets her going. Not big breakfast eaters. I usually have cereal.

Definately an interesting case. Sorry for your jam. Randy, is it that easy to simply start over once the original I-130's been filed?

I can't decide between Xi'an and the terra cotta warriors and Lijiang and the scenery,Tiger Leaping Gorge etc. Oh, I'd like to go in 2009.

It does help with quite a few forms. Including to get a state ID in her married name. Plus, the EAD that Randy mentioned is useful even if she does not work. It helps with various ID and other cases. I went back to the Social Security Administration last week armed with the information that several members directed me to. I got there at seven in the morning and I immediately asked to speak to a supervisor. A lady said “yes how may I help you”. I told her that the prior week we were denied our SSN because the official stated that our K1 expired when we got married. She said “that’s not correct, how long has she been in the country?” I told her only a month – she then says “go to my window”. She was very professional and friendly. Life’s been good since then. We open up a joint checking account, IRA, library card, YMCA membership and updated her individual bank account with her SSN. She is studying to take her learners permit test. I went to the Social Security Administration building in Jamaica queens NYC. There are workers there who are Chinese. Get there early and ask for a supervisor. Let this person know that you had heard of staff members not informed about K1 requirements and that you want confirmation that there would not be an issue. *The supervisor was surprised that I did not receive a letter by them as to why the SSN was declined. Amazing how a little competency can make the wheels turn faster eh? Glad to hear things are going well and good luck with that permit test. We passed that one and are in the process of "learning" to drive so she can take the driving test. With me as instructor things are slooooooowwwww.

What would be the purpose of the "propaganda" in this case Griz? Does EVERY article that mentions ANYTHING remotely controversial or negative about China have to be propaganda? "It's the job of a journalist to take someone's words and club them over the head with them." Really? In the journalism classes I took we were taught that it's the job of a journalist (a real one anyway) to take someone's words and use them to back up the facts and/or enhance the point/angle of the story without distorting the truth. That seems to be exactly what the author did IMHO. Now if you can find any evidence that this particular reporter has a history of writing blatantly anti-China pieces or a habit of publishing anti-China "propaganda", by all means bring it into the light so we can approach any future stories of hers we may run across with the appropriate amount of skepticism. Otherwise, throwing around the word propaganda at any article about China that we don't like could have the effect of making us look a little paranoid. Just MHO.

In a word NO, it is not required that you be present for the interview. There's no concrete evidence that being there increases the chances one way or another. Many feel that being there and having their SO be able to hand the their passport to the VO is a plus. How big a plus is up for constant debate. Success seems to be just as likely whether the USC is there or not. Having said that, the more trips you can make the better. If you can make it back over before the interview that would be a plus. But there are plenty of cases of folks making one trip, not being there for the interview and still getting pink. Good luck.

CONGRATULATIONS!! They charge for seats in the coffee shop now?