shyaushu

My wife and I recently (August 29, 2007) filed an I-130 application in Beijing and I can share our experience. Like you, we made an appointment (this is apparently necessary) and we did it by e-mail. We had a devil of a time finding the building we needed to go to in order to file: the Kerry Center. Not a single taxi driver we asked knew what or where it was. We finally got there with the help of a US Embassy worker we spotted on the street. It's about a 15 minute walk from the US Embassy, but it's best to take a taxi if you have luggage, as we did. We were relieved to find that our name was at the top of the list for appointments, since we made the appointment about a month in advance. The woman (a Chinese national) who accepted our application was helpful, but definitely not overly friendly. She informed us that in addition to the application, itself, we needed to submit copies of both my and my wife's passports, my work visa (we didn't need to have a resident book, and I didn't have one at that time), our marriage papers and both of our divorce documents (with translations, as appropriate). In short, it will save you time and money if you have these copies with you when you go: we didn't and had to scurry around to find a place to get copies. The woman scoured the application carefully, and asked me to change some answers, such as changing my "NA" answers to "No". She said the regulations had changed and that "NA" was no longer permitted as an answer. The biggest headache came when it was time to pay (the incredibly expensive) $355 fee. That fee cannot be paid at the Kerry center, and you must take your documentation to the actual US Embassy, Citizen Services Section to do that. Finding the Embassy is relatively easy, but getting in and around is a chore. Various uniformed people (both Chinese police, embassy guards and security personnel) asked to see my passport at least six separate times. I finally found the section I needed, paid my money, and took the receipt back to the 23rd floor of the Kerry Center just in time to make the 4:00 closing. The biggest issue for us was that we did not know the "exact" address where we would be living in Henan Province, since the school where I was going to teach gave us several different ones when I asked them to tell me. That is why the word exact is in quotes: what does "exact address" actually mean in China? Beats me. But we had the Kerry Center woman's card, and we FAXED her a better address (I hope) a week ago. We are in our seventh week from filing and have so far heard nothing. That was our experience. Make copies of everything and be prepared, logistically, to scurry to the US Embassy and then back to the Kerry Center by closing time. Get a map of the area in Beijing where the Kerry Center is located, in Chinese, if possible. That way a taxi driver may understand where it is. I hope this helps . . .

That's an interesting -- and very complicated -- question. I am currently teaching in a Middle school in Henan Province and I can offer a few, quick observations. 1. From a "time devoted to" perspective, physical education is number one, hands down. The kids are running and exercising at 5:30 AM, again at 10:15, and then later in the afternoon. Sometimes they are required to do mass exercises in the evening. 2. Everyone shouts the (often wrong) answer (in my case, the completely wrong pronunciation of some English word) in unison. No one learns anything from this, I would say. I say the word correctly to the entire class, and then pick on individual students to repeat what I said as exactly as they can.. I encourage the rest of them to listen and try to say it correctly to themselves or their partner. So, sometimes teaching something incorrect is a way of life here. 3. Some clearly cultural habits and ways of acting are tolerated and reinforced. Shyness is apparently a currency here, and students almost universally hang their heads and mumble when they reply to a question I pose. I make them hold their heads up and look me in the eye as they answer -- to me that's part of speaking English. If you don't look at a person when you talk to them people think the worst; perhaps, that you're devious or disingenuous. 4. The day begins with students sweeping the school grounds and assiduously mopping the floors. Classes begin with mass singing of patriotic songs. You can draw your own conclusions from those things. But it is hard to imagine a student vandalizing the school after hours . . . At my first blush with Chinese secondary education, there are some really good things, and some really stupid ones. I am lucky and the administration at my school has given me a pretty free hand to do what I want in my classes. So it's very "American-like" in many respects. And I certainly encourage free thinking and creativity . . .

For those of you wanting to file a so-called "DCF", especially in Beijing, here is an update. I e-mailed the American Citizen Services at the Embassy in Beijing and I was able to make an appointment for a certain date at a certain time. The place for filing the I-130 is separate from the Embassy, itself, and it is open on Wednesday afternoons, when the Embassy is closed. (It's TGIW in Beijing, I guess!). The address to go for filing is Kerry Center, 2320 South Tower, No. 1 Guang Hua Lu, Beijing. It is apparently quite near the Embassy. Their phone number is 010 8529 6740. Cheers.

Thanks for telling your experiences and for your comments. If the direct filing option has resumed (and the consensus here is that it has), my procedure seems straightforward. But the stuff that shanghaigale posted suggests that he went there with his wife. Is that necessary? My wife will be in Chongqing when I go to the Embassy in Beijing. If the two of us need to be there, I will have to delay filing and we will have to go there together later on. But it's all "good news" here . . .

You have reinvigorated my hope that this can be done in China. I will contact the Dept. of Homeland Security in Beijing (I suppose that's what those letters referred to) and see what shakes. But it's amazing to me how little the people who get paid to be a resource to the public (and the actual consumer) know about all this. Yes, all this is very complicated and confusing, but it can be explained to someone so that the process is understandable. (I believe Einstein said if you couldn't explain Relativity to a grade schooler then you didn't understand Relativity). Thanks for your all's help.

No, I haven't lived in China, ever, although I have visited there for as long as a month at a time. The word is that officially a petitioner needs to be living in China for 6 months, at least according to the Satellite office of the USCIS and many commentors here. But many people here have offered that the USCIS doesn't abide by that guideline and that lots of people have filed a DCF right away. The focal question is HOW do I file it? I'll take my chances with the "when". Thanks for your response and thoughts . . .

I recently posted some questions about filing a CR-1 visa application (beginning with the I-130) for my wife while I would be living in China, and I received some very helpful information from forum members. The basic advice here was to file directly at the Embassy in Beijing (since I'll be living in Henan Province) by physically bringing my completed I-130 to the Embassy. However, when I tried to make an appointment with the Embassy in Beijing they told me they did not accept such direct applications, and that the Consulate in Guangzhou was the only place those visas can be adjudicated. So, I made an appointment with the local "Satellite" USCIS Office here in Charleston, WV to "get it from the horse's mouth." Turns out, they know less than nothing. The woman suggested that I file now (and avoid the price doubling on July 30) and then have someone in the US forward my mail to China and act as though I was still living in the US. She went on to say that I could not complete the Affidavit of Support if I wasn't living in the US, so that I would be required to return here without my wife and then, after being with her for a year in China, still wait for her to get the visa and come here. Run-around; confusion; bafflement. What to do? So, I need a step-by-step list of what I need to do, if anyone can do that. Do I (1) file from here as though I was still living here? (My mail will be sent to a PO Box while I'm away). Or, do I (2) actually file from China? If I can file while I am living in China, do I file in Beijing or in Guangzhou? Do they require an appointment for that? How long will it take (i.e., can I drop by the Embassy, drop off my paperwork, pay the small fortune required, and then return to the airport and catch a plane to Chongqing later that evening?). I am leaving in eight week and I really must get my strategy straight. Please, this is too confusing and I feel terribly dumb (even after doing a successful CR-1 in 10 months from the states in 2005)! How do I file this stuff when I'm living in Luoyang, Henen Province? Waiting breathlessly . . .

I add my official public congratulations. Yan is a good friend and you are a lucky guy, Douglas. And I think she is a lucky gal.

I am so sorry for you. Your wife really did fleece you! Things like this are so incredibly sad. Most of us (there are "bad actors" on both sides of this, as we all know) get involved with Chinese women or men for the most innocent and basic of reasons -- to have a good person to share our lives with and to share love. People that exploit that connnection are the human equivalent of sexually transmitted diseases. They manipulate us in our very weakest moments and infect us with, sometimes incurable, diseases. But life's a bitch and then you die. It's always a "buyer beware" world and you are responsible for the choices you make. I certainly wish you and all the others well. I am not as sanguine about my chances and the "red flags" that are certain to torpedo my current wife's chances of ultimately obtaining unconditional permanent resident status. The INS people indicated the stuff I have already filed will definitely not help her, and they encouraged me to send them anything I had. But they could not make any assurances, of course. And unlike you, I do not have a (probably lovable) child to support and no new car to forfeit, although my Social Security check may be up for grabs. Today I am sending INS a copy of the original "ad" on Date.com my wife used to pedal herself, and it is clearly a photo of another woman, and one that is five years her junior at that. Her first e-mail also says "I want to search for a future marriage and leave this hurt place" -- not exactly a resounding endorcement of a love-inspired liaison! She can hopefully get an opportunity to explain all that to the Immigration Judge . . . There are deceptors and thieves everywhere in life, and self-serving, Chinese Internet brides are the least of them. All you love bird hopefuls out there, be careful! Take your time to really get to know the person you plan to marry and make as certain as you can they are completely on the level. Then, if the unthinkable happens, it is just the crap that happens in life. But you have only yourself to blame if you fail to exercise due diligence! http://www.murthy.com/news/n_remcon.htmlhttp://www.divorceinfo.com/trialseparation.htm I am not sure if I interpreted your statement correctly but did you say you don't mind paying her living expenses for 10 months and money well spent? I thought in your previous post you didn't have the money to spend because you just have SS check. I wouldn't give her one penny. My case was opposite from yours but similar in many ways. First my ex had police record of assaulting me. You should not do anything until after her conditional residence expires. In the mean time you should report her to the immigration folks and have them document everything you said about her. They will red flag her file. Without evidence and police record she doesn't have a chance and the ball is in your court for sure. You need an immigration lawyer that also knows divorce law in your state. She is deportable after her green card expires unless she applies to remove the conditions herself because of domestic violence. Then there will be a hearing and it will be your word against hers, and like I said without evidence she doesn't have a chance while you can present police records against her. There are a few wacko Chinese ladies out there and you and I were married to them. I believe they suffered from some organic brain condition that cannot be cured. You have it much easier than I had believe me. Now I have to pay child support when my ex tricked me into adopting her daughter. I lost everything and she got everything of mine including brand new car and equity in home and my retirement money. Unfortunately you cannot tell what's inside someones head until you live with them for a while.

Here's an update for those of you unfortunate enough to be in a similar situation (a disengenuous marriage). I went to the Immigration Office in Charleston, WV yesterday to get documentation that I had reported my wife's disappearance (abandonment) to them a few days after it occurred. They were really nice and supplied me with a letter (on letter head) that stated I had reported her disappearance to their office on the date I did. I also asked the Immigration Officer for advice regarding what I could do to try and prevent my wife from succeeding in her conditional status removal petition. He (an investigator with the criminal fraud unit) asked the "front office" Immigration Officer about it and she told him my first letter to the office regarding the sham nature of my marriage had been received, and that her file had been requested from the Alabama repository. It arrived in the Charleston office last week, and my letter was filed in it. She advised me to continue to supply any additional inofrmation I felt documented her disingenuous interest in marrying me, and that new information would be added to her file. All of this will not, of course, ensure her petition will be rejected (assuming we are divorced at that time), but it will carry a lot of weight. At a minimum she will have to explain why she abandoned me, why she returned after two months and why she filed a bogus "domestic violence" allegation against me. The e-mails she sent me while she was gone talk about how she wanted a husband who had more money than I had; how I couldn't buy her the "fashionable and expensive clothes" she desired and how she needed money to pay large debts (previously unknown to me!) she had in China. Among the excuses she mentions for leaving me were that she didn't like the food I ordered for her in restaurants! (I'm not joking. And we did not eat in "fast food" places -- we ate in really nice, expensive French, Indian and Italian restaurants). I suppose such documents will raise a number of questions regarding the nature of our marriage. So, the way things are unfolding, I recommend anyone who believes his spouse married him/her for something other than love do the following. 1. Stay married. Being married -- even if you are separated at the time of filing -- gives the petitioner maximum leverage. The petition can not go forward without the husband at this point. Persist in a sham separation to "try to resolve things", if necessary. 2. Stay alert for fabricated "domestic violence" allegations. Do everything you can to protect yourself against this, even though it is very problematic. Try to never be together without other witnesses. 3. If you do get divorced (and your spouse now is entitled to file for her/himself), write to the nearest Immigration office and supply them with as much documentation as you can. They cannot independently investigate every marriage, of course, but such information is extremely important to them in making a determination at the removal hearing. Moreover, the deportation of the deceptive spouse results in TERMINATION of the responsibilities under the I-864. This is critical, if the petitioner does not want a con artist to live off his/her income for the rest of their stay here in the US. Once the beneficiary is legally admitted into the US they have a great deal of power, and getting the duped spouse to underwrite the rest of their lives here is not that difficult. Protect yourself!

I appreciate your comments and your sharing your experiences. I should make my wife take anger management classes. There has to be lots of them in Central WV with Mandarin-speaking moderaters! Just finding one might lead us to the conditional removal date. I'll speak to my lawyer about the separation strategy. http://www.murthy.com/news/n_remcon.htmlhttp://www.divorceinfo.com/trialseparation.htm I understand this as good strategy however maybe her lawyer also will recognize this fact also and push for a quicker settlement. When I was in the middle of my divorce my case could have been settled quick as I has very little common assets and no children. However it dragged on for several years as it made both lawyers on both sides a little richer. If you desire a trial separation you must maybe show you do intend to to try to make this marriage work .Your lawyer could advise on what steps to make. to further drag this out timewise. Maybe you could go to anger management classes for a long time . To have this direction work you will need to show also you are a faithful worried husband who really desires to stay married . And fix the hurt between you. As far as her lawyer is concerned I myself cannot think but to believe that he understands he will need to act before the time frame runs out,Am I correct that you will need about 1 more year to be married before she would be out of status. And then she would need your john handcock? So wally sit down and talk with your lawyer as to the best way to proceed to show you are willing to make this marriage work and that it is your last desire to be divorced.

Kudos to you, too, dnoblett. Your posting suggests a refinement to the strategy that may accomplish the unltimate goal with more certainty. That is, getting her the hell out of here and ending the I-184 nightmare. I will confer with my attorney and suggest we move to a "separation". I don't mind paying her for her living expenses for the next 10 months. It would be money well spent. There are lessons here for all, but I leave it up to you to see what they are. At a minimum, it suggests the one ace-in-the-hole the immigration fraud perpetrator has is a bogus "battered spouse" allegation. Holding your ground and forcing her and her lawyer to convince a judge the allegations are credible is the difficult, but only choice. I am certain she and her lawyer came up with this strategy because it can be prolematic for the husband to counter claims of wife beating, even without any evidence whatever (no police report; no "911" call; no telling close friends of the alleged incident; filing the allegation in Magistrate's Court 3-6 months after it allegedly occurred and two days before the hearing on my domestic violence petition, etc.). Our current society has created a certain "guilty until proven innocent" climate for allegations of men supposedly battering their wives. If she said it it is true. In contrast, my wife threatened to kill me and I reported it to the police and got a protective order. Yet my allegations (which are true and supported by evidence) appear to be being treated as not true. I'm all for doing everything pssible to protect woman from any sort of abuse, but that does not include a "carte blanche" to destroy their husbands with an omnipotent weapon -- the allegation. This stuff needs a lot more balance. http://www.murthy.com/news/n_remcon.htmlhttp://www.divorceinfo.com/trialseparation.htm

You are a prince (or princess) tywy_99. Those web documents tell it all. The requirements and regulations also put the entire situation in context. My wife acted in a manner that would almost certainly result in a denial of the removal of the conditional status (death threats, abandonment, my obtaining an Emergency Protective Order) and her lawyer was savy enought to realize her only shot now was filing as a battered spouse. So they countered with an EPO of their own and want to bargain me to admit to theirs, and help the person who did not enter into the marriage in good faith (which is obvious from the facts -- she left because she "didn't like the potatoes we ate"; she claims I once "didn't open up a door for her" and she "did not like the dishes I bought for her in restaurants", etc.), remove the conditional status. Hardly the stuff of an on-going, bonafide marriage. So, my strategy is now clear: make them prove their absurd allegation and have her file as divorced or separated. I will refuse to file jointly, of course. This regulation was designed to protect me! It's not perfect, but it should work, in theory. This woman needs to be sent back to her "apartment" (stable) in Shenzhen. Who can doubt that the Candleforlove is a god-send? Believe me, it gets frantic when push comes to shove, and it is wonderful to have thousands of knowledgeable, caring supporters gathring and sharing information that will make a difference. Hooray Candle!

More good advice and the question of the I-864 is very important. If that happened it would basically banckrupt me since I am semi-retired and have very little. That amount would be my entire Social security. Imagine! A Chinese woman with a very questionable background can come to the US and take the retirement money a man has worked his entire life for! Forty years of my hard work down the drain. What were they thinking? The posts here have inspired me and I am planing to just let my wife's lawyer prove his case, if he can. I will work to get the divorce finalized as quickly as possible, and then encourage her to petition for the adjustment in status on her own, and soon. Since she abandoned me after only a few months in the US and there is already documentation in her file that she came here for the sole purpose of getting the Green Card and ultimately, obtaining Unconditional Permanent Resident Status, she may have a very difficult time getting past the Immigration Judge. I certainly hope so. So now, can anyone tell me what documentation I can get from USCIS that outlines the Adjustment of Status procedure? I need the official instructions or policy or guidelines. When her lawyer sees she can immediately file for herself if we are divorced I believe he will consider his (and my wife's) goal accomplished. But he will obviously not take my word for it. So, what official USCIS document or phamphlet says she can file for herself immediately when she is divorced? I need to get this by next week. Help me, guys, please. Sleepless in Big Otter (or else I wouldn't be writing this at 3:30 in the morning!).

Thanks to NDTPRO and donahso for the previous two posts. Some real life experiences are very helpful. I have no intention, and never expected to "cop a plea" to anything, but I think my lawyer feels it is possible the Circuit Judge may rule against me, despite the utter lack of any evidence whatever. My desperate wife, or should I say her desperate lawyer, decided to simply put me on the defensive because they were faced with a court hearing on the Emergency Protective Order (EPO) against my wife (and one that I filed for good reason!) and had nothing to offer to get it removed. So, they cooked up the worst allegation they could think of at the 11th hour, literally (two days before the hearing and at least 3 months after they allege this event happened -- my wife's petition says ". . . in summer/fall . . .") and charged me in her retaliatory EPO with something that is nothing but an allegation. But when a woman swears before a Magistrate that her 63 year old husband, and a widower from a 20 year marriage with a 19 year old daughter in college raped her at the point of a gun, our rather odd society is inclined to believe her. The mentally challenged local Magistrate did, and the Circuit Judge may, too. That is my risk. But I am not sure what that would mean. I could appeal (to the WV Supreme Court, in this case) and get that ruling overturned, I suppose. What I gleen from this is it is probably best for me to sit tight and refuse to lie and say I abused her in any way (the truth) and let her and her lawyer try to prove that I actually did anything, all the while with the adjustment of status clock ticking (albeit with a year left). Perhaps I can manage to get a hearing on my divorce and have it finalized and then my two adversaries can focus on proving an absurd case of spousal abuse. All of the helpful posts make me feel less cornered and even if a situation is hopeless (and this one isn't) a plan helps a person feel less passive. Thanks.

Many thanks to the responders. This situation is a "classic", and perhaps, with the draconian issues of the I-864 being revealed and the new background checks for the petitioner, this thing will only become more common. In today's "climate", a woman who alleges -- without any truth whatever -- that her husband abused her (or the children) in anyway is behind the eight ball. It's sort of the Salem witch hunts of the Massachussets colony revisited. "He's a witch!" And they burn him at the stake! If she is successful, my wife will accomplish all of her goals: get unconditional Permanent Resident Status, make it so I must relinquish my forearms (I live on a farm in West Virginia and I see bears and coyotes almost daily. Coyotes killed a number of my sheep a while ago) and prevent me from ever marrying another overseas woman. She always hated my having guns because they reminded her of the executions she was forced to witness as a teenager during the Cultural Revolution. I understand that, but this is America. All this because I met and married her in good faith, sent her and her daughter more than $7,000 during the 10 months we waited for her visa, did the visa (the hardest part, of course, and also expensive), visited her three times in China, got her here and gave her my devoted love and warmest affection. We ate in the best restaurants, traveled all over the northeast and east coast, visited Canada, and I introduced her to all of her Chinese friends here. Many thanks from the woman from Jilin! She gets a ticket out of China and ruins my life. (Don't forget, I am a widower whose wife of 20 years died in 2004. I wanted another life partner and got this! She saw me coming from a mile away). I need to fight this but I am mindful the deck is stacked too heavily against a man in this situation. Motivating my lawyer -- a nice guy and very experienced and competent -- will require money. He's willing to go the distance but it will probably cost a fortune (that I don't have. I already emptied all my savings helping Zhenshu and her daughter when they were in China and in visiting her there). If anyone could provide any input regarding the questions I posed it would really help. My wife wants the status removal and I want a divorce. There must be some way to get both of these accomplished -- they are not mutually exclusive, are they? PMing you! Already been there and done this! Dave

I am in the midst of a very nasty divorce from a woman whose sole intention in marrying me was to get Permanent Resident Status for herself in the US. As an aside, I strongly urge everyone considering being the petitioner for a woman with little or no life in China to be very circumspect. It is not a good sign. My wife's lawyer is essentially blackmailing me by having had her conjure up an alleged threat of domestic violence (unverifyable; no report to police or friends; no possibility of "marks", etc.) and he is using that as a lever to get what my wife wants -- the removal of her conditional status next December. My lawyer feels we may be able to quid pro quo this thing, but he doesn't know much about immigration law (this now a domestic violence/divorce matter, with competing domestic violence petitions). 1. Does anyone know a good immigration lawyer in or near Charleston, WV who can provide my attorney with some much-needed technical advice about the removal of the Conditional Status process? It could be someone far away, I suppose, since they invented the telephone and the Internet. But local would be better 2. Does anyone here know the answers to the following questions: * Is there any particular significance to a marriage having lasted two years in so far as providing evidence of a "good faith" marriage? In other words, I have heard a very short marriage (i.e., less than two years) is very suspect. If full credibility is given to a two year marriage, does it need to be two years and a month? Two months? Our second anniversary (which will be mourned, not celebrated by me) occurs January 17, 2007. * If a couple is divorced, does the former wife automatically get to file for herself? Are her chances of being denied greater if she is divorced? * Does the husband's "admission" to some minor domestic violence charge (this is their blackmail), thus allowing the now divorced woman to file for herself, impact the husband's potential to get a visa for a new Chinese wife? Does it ensure the woman's success in her petition? My wife's only goal is to get the "Conditional" status removed, as she has no life whatever in Shenzhen, and probably entertained Hong Kong men to pay the rent on the would-be-here-condemned structure she called "her apartment" before we met. Her lawyer is willing to "drop" all allegations (i.e., lies they have fabricated) in return for a free ride in Pittsburgh in December, '07. He seems to feel all will be assured if I agree to admit I beat her. Of course, I never touched my wife in any manner other than with affection and love. Hearing them say these things is very so incredily painful. She in contast, threatened to kill me with a knife, abandoned me in August, tried to smash the windshield of my car, and I am the one fighting for my life! But Law is not about "right and wrong": it is all about what you can get away with in court. I really need this information, hopefully in the form of pamphlets or government publications or documents. Her lawyer is not willing to take "our word for it" and he has pretty much forced my lawyer to carry water for him because he knows his client -- a seemingly meek (wrong!), middle-aged Chinese woman who speaks no English -- cuts a very empathetic figure in court. So it's up to us to devise a way to get her her much-wanted Permanent Status. If I get screwed in the process, who cares? I really don't care if she stays or not (except for the I-864!). Then she'll be your (i.e., the US taxpayer's) problem. It's nice having an insane, violent Chinese woman roaming the streets of our great country. Help!

I am pleased to see the extensive give-and-take on this important, broad subject: the I-864, generally, and people's underlying motives in getting married. I believe it is a critical element in our "Candle for Love" support group. Reality checks need to be made. I was definitely naive and so is everyone, in some manner or another. Absolute certainty about reality is impossible, and even more so with human interactions. The "red flags" raised but someone were important signs, like an animal's foot print when you're hunting. It's subtle, but there's a lot of information there if you know what you're doing. The I-864 is definitely a night mare, and counter intuitive as well. But I believe my experience is instructing me that The Law is not about right or wrong; or even good and evil. It is about leverage. You get someone to plead to jay-walking and you drop the capitol murder charge. Yes, the Legal Aid lawyer (he is so arrogant in his conviction that he is helping this poor, otherwise defenseless Chinese woman who in reality is blackmailing a man she inviegled into marrying her so she could end her life of misery in a Shenzhen slum)) is probably being dishonest and commiting breaches of legal ethics. And yes, my wife is conspiring to commit immigration fraud. But the leverage of the situation requires my weighing how much crow I must eat for not having to work for the rest of my life as a greeter at WalMart and actually retaining the small pension I worked my entire life -- 40 years! -- for. So many wonderful women, there and here. It's actually very easy to get snookered. Buyer beware!

Some of you may know me from my substantial posts pre-visa and perhaps from my recent posts in the bad endings section. Or perhaps from the short novel chapter about "our great love" I posted not too long ago. Basically, my wife and I got a visa after about 11 months; she came here; things were great, then bad, then terminal. This is an update and it IS about GENERAL VISA issues! I just came back from the first family court hearing and here is the situation: 1. I filed a Domestic Violence petition against my wife after she threatened to kill me with a kitchen knife. 2. At today's hearing (to end or extend that petition) her lawyer handed me HER Domestic Violence petition against me! 3. In it she alleges (i.e., swears, under oath) I did everything but have sex with squirrels. 4. He wants me to drop mine and he'll drop hers, BUT: I have to admit to these absurd lies. I have to swear to INS that our marriage was "wonderful" and we are like love birds, and thus, ensure she ges her "Permanent Resident" status in a year. And, I have to pay her the 125% of the "poverty level" I promised to pay her in my Affadavit of Support. That's nearly $1,000 a month! Let me tell you -- from bitter and so regrettable experience -- make sure you know who you are marrying! (Easier said than done). There really ARE a significant number of women in China (and elsewhere, I'm sure) who are ONLY interested in a ticket out of China and a Green Card! Second, (refer to the first one, above) signing that Affadavit of Support may leave you open to some aggressive divorce lawyer leveraging that kind of support payment, even if I (and many others here) do not read it THAT way. It's a foot in the door for them. I married my Chinese wife because my wife of 2o years died and I wanted to "start a new life" with someone totally new. And this woman did THAT to me! I was just fresh (and naive) meat. I WAS perfect in my devotion and love in this new marriage. I even learned Madarin for her, since she couldn't/wouldn't learn English. A word to the wise! It all seems so exciting and wonderful . . . until good girls go bad. Women like my wife are an embarrassment and insult to the thousands of wonderful, sincere Chinese women who are really seeking love and a loving partnership. I am a pretty savy guy, and I've lived in many parts of the world (France, Japan, Korea, etc.), yet this one really snookered me. THE SAME COULD HAPPEN TO YOU! I do not get taken advantage of very often, but this one was a pro. Be careful, please.

I believe all perspectives that have been offered so far are useful. And they are not mutually exclusive. Their synthesis is actually quite straightforward. There are expected, well-published fees associated with getting a visa, and they will be requested in government documents or by legitimate US officials. Street vendors or people milling about outside the Consulate are not legitimate US officials. That having been said, it is entirely understandable many Chinese people (and perhaps their loved ones) might be inveigled into a typical Chinese money scam. How well I remember the Moroccans milling about in Fez who would approach us and announce they were "gardien auto", hoping to get us to give them a few francs to ensure the safety of our ancient Peugeot. My guess was that they would probably have proceeded to dismantle the car as soon as we left. It's all the same stuff. If I went to the US Embassy in the capitol and had to pay a buck or two to park in the Embassy's parking garage, I would probably pay it. But I'd be damned if I'd give a passerby money to park where there was no meter. This is simply the "Chinese version" of this stuff. It happens all over the world. Buyer beware!

I have no experience with any of this, but how can someone who has been to China even once not realize: (1) Chinese society is riddled with "urban legends", and (2) there are as many money scams as there are gullible people. The US government is far from perfect, but what normal person would ever pay someone standing outside the Motor Vehicle Bureau in their state $5 so they could get ahead on the line, or receive a document they were not entitled to? This is the US Consulate, after all.

It is an amazing commitment. There are surely many reasons so many people determine the cost-benefit equation is worth it, and I suppose that's up to each individual person. Things are quite a bit easier (and cheaper) now, since websites such as www.worldlingo.com provide free translations instantly over the Internet. These translations are not perfect, of course, or even "good" by many standards, but they do effectively bridge the gap in communication. My wife and I have communicated only in Chinese for a year and a half, now, and we can discuss almost anything. But every now-and-then I want to say or explain something that is a little beyond my Chinese skills. I use worldlingo, print it out, and give it to her to read. It usually results in a "wo li jie" (I understand), and then we discuss it a bit further. Future visa hopefuls will probably still find it worthwhile to study English, but they can probably dispense with the very expensive and largely incompetent "professional translators."

Surely Mike is right -- the interview ends when the visa official feels he/she has enough information . . . that is if the official is a regular person. Most are, of course, but there are some who can be chain-yankers for no apparent reason. "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely", I suppose. Getting a good feel for what kinds of questions have been asked in past interviews by accessing the links is what you need to do, and so is making certain the importance of your relationship is expressed in some way (photos; poems; diaries, etc.) during the interview. People who obviously care a great deal about each other are usually not denied visas, if everything else is copasetic.

Sorry to hear this.. And it can be an uphill battle overcoming the advice of other chinese... but this is what they trust and will slowly [also] learn from the mistake. I took the same approach after a few miscues by the visa service that helped me submit our initial petition.. I then did everything myself.. I've never regretting taking an active role, but was very patient to know that delays can happen. Just need to understand the process and how best to response to it. There's some recovery to do now for you, but don't let it sit too long inside nor get upset with your SO over it. It will all seem so meaningless once your together. 227451[/snapback] I empathize with your frustration, of course, but couldn't agree more with David -- this is certainly not a reason to be upset with your partner. There is no doubt she is motivated by wanting the best for both of you. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way. It's only natural to want to trust the people you know. I suppose we can all remember the times when we received the "next" form in the morning and rushed off to assemble the required information, complete it and get it in the mail by that afternoon. All that seems somewhat silly, now, since everything fell into place in its own time, eventually. A day or two -- even a week or two, here and there -- was never really critical. Why get grey hairs over it? A month is a long time, granted, but not that terrible in the context of something that takes, typically, a year or more. It's an increase of something like 8% in the total application time. And I think David is right on the second count, too: it will all seem meaningless once it's over. A somewhat slow-in-coming visa is a lot better than a rejection or having to scramble to overcome some disqualification. Relax (if you can).

Congratulations and good luck. There is nothing like the feeling of being prepared.