tmkeith

Thanks for the tip. I purposely kept my new home plain, or as Wei would say "boring" for that very purpose, so that she and I can make it "our" home. I mean, I need furniture, shelves, other storage, as well as anything decorative. Now I just gotta find a way to keep a bunch of "stuff" from appearing to be a pigsty in the next 13 days. I don't want to get everything organized (including the 300+ pounds of her stuff that's already here) and have to tear it all down to build what we (er, SHE) wants.

We were very lucky that Wei was offered a transfer, but I've approached the topic all along that I do not want her to feel the pressure of being forced to work. I also want her to do what she wants, even if it means having her go to a school or training for an opportunity she may not have had at home.

That's a terribly depressing book. It was because of what Iris learned while writing this book that she later committed suicide. My friend had it in her home, and I browsed thru it, the pictures and stories are horrifying. Trust me, you don't "need" this book to better understand Chinese cullture. You'll get a sick stomach. Some sources said that the Nanjing incident in WWII was worse than the holocaust. 133094[/snapback] Oh, it definitely isn't a happy book. But, I do think that it is very powerful, and helpful in understanding the basis for much of the tensions between Chinese and Japanese people. Now, if your SO does not have strong feelings on the subject, then it may not be helpful. The pictures did in fact make me feel uneasy, but I chose to read it anyway, and am glad I did. Can one of the more well-read posters in here tell me who was it who said something along the lines of "never judge a book by it's cover?" I can't find the source anywhere. Where did you see that she committed suicide based on what she learned? The only note I heard of was just asking her family for forgiveness. Who knows what really brought about the onset of her clinical depression? I think I'll stay away from the speculation on this topic and just appreciate her powerful work.

Been here for a few months and I STILL don't know what to vote for. "A goood guy from TX" ---Trigg, can you spell "redundant"?

Man, if there were some way to have your sons to have a "tour guide" of their age who spoke English to show them the way things really are, it would be invaluable in my eyes, so if her son knows any English, let 'em run free. Granted, I have no children. Just tried to put myself in their shoes for this. What an opportunity!!!

Get his credit going. Joint credit card...even if you cut it up and never use it, gets him going on some of the credit reports. May help in the long-term, too. Just my opinion. I'm no expert, and others may quickly point out any possible foolishness on this one...and I'll be learning, too.

It'll be interesting to see the responses to this one. Wei and I have decided she will keep her family name. Now I'm wondering what kind of problems THAT will cause.

Can't talk about death with Wei, either....and I thought I was telling her something good when I mentioned I have life insurance.

That's where I got my basic ammo for the discussion. While it is cut-and-dried to us in here. I gotta break them of the mindset that she needs immigration documentation allowing her to work.

Trigg, Right now I'm in the process of discussing this point with Wei's current/future (after transfer) employer. We don't want to wait the weeks (months?) to get an EAD, but can't find anything to specifically state the K-1 is valid work authorization. Where'd you get this info? One possible workaround they're looking into is that if she gets an SSN, as well as the state ID (which requires SSN), she'll have the necessary documents to complete an I-9, verifying identy and work authorization. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Sorry if this has been discussed before. I didn't have time to research during the heat of the conversations. Thanks

I'll definitely pick that one up. I liked her "The Rape of Nanking", as well as "Wild Swans" by Jung Chang. Without getting into any "right or wrong" argument about either, both offer very interesting points of view.

Some things I must always bring with me to Beijing are: Garnier Fructis shampoo and conditioner. Wei's friends love it. Vaseline Baby (scented) Petroleum Jelly - for hands in the winter cold. Not sure how it is in Shanghai, though. Vitamins - One a Day (men/women),Centrum Silver, Childrens' Chewable multivitamins in the huge bottles from Costco Trader Joe's Belgian Truffles. As for more traditional gifts. It's hard to get something for them that they can get over there (or a copy of).

guess i gotta teach her how to rappel

yup, second floor bedroom was an important requirement here, too.

aah, a whistle will be good. She'll be in a pretty public place the whole time...and not during bad hours. I like it. Plus, nobody's hurt if she accidentally uses it in a panic. Only 26 more days!!!

Great around the home...but a bit awkward on mass transit

I agree completely. But getting away from it will be a (frequent) weekend thing for us, for the time being.

hmmm. Earthquakes and a few bad neighborhoods to travel through, or hurricanes (and sharkbites raising their ugly head again in Fl?) Not sure how much control we really have over our environment(s). I'm angling toward making the best out of the one we're in. No knock on Jupiter intended here. Fl is awesome, and the water's warm.

I must admit that I, too, will likely disappear from this place for awhile as of July 22. Luckily, with her having a job waiting for her, we won't be joned at the hip 24/7, but we'll have plenty of living to do the time we're able to spend together. I may be able to kick-in a few early a.m. updates, since she likes to sleep-in, though.

Actually, where we're at right now, Walnut Creek, is quite safe. Logistics dictate that she commute through this area where she will definitely be out of her comfort zone. I don't think it's going to take long at all for her to gain confidence...but if I can help by giving her some tools to make that jump a bit more quickly, I'm all for it. I thought about moving to a different area, but I just started a new job here, and the Bay Area is a great place for her to ease into US culture, with the huge Asian influence here.

Actually, it might not hurt to sget an I-134 certified early, and then another one closer to the interview. My case might provide some food for thought. After returning home after my ceremonial marriage to Wei last September, I was informed on my second day back to work that I was being laid-off. So, I rushed to get the I-134 in order while I was still employed...because who knew how long it would take for me to find work? Well, Wei's interview was March 25...I didn't start a new job until March 30. Now, we really did cut things close with an I-134 that was about 2 weeks shy of 6 months old, and I had provided current I-134s from my parents to help out in a pinch. Turns out they weren't needed after all. Like some of the other current threads in the mix today, you can't be too careful. Even if it means possibly being redundant...don't procrastinate! Just my 2 cents. Waiting out the next 27 days. Trev

I like the martial arts idea. Perhaps something we could do together. Maybe pepperspray until she gets the confidence to handle the ride.

...Let's just say you didn't offend us with that remark

Woohoo!!!! only 27 more days until my Wei gets here. Things have really livened up over the past few weeks. Her company has offered to transfer her position over here on a p/t basis. We're thrilled, and think it will be a great way to help her adjust to life here, with some familiar names, if not faces, to work with, and she definitely won't be bored. In fact, we're going to be getting married pretty much as soon as she steps off the plane, so we can get cracking for the EAD filing. (Company's not getting involved in her immigration.) Okay, enough pre-game. One concern about this job is that she'll need to take a one-hour, BART ride with a train change in Oakland, to and from work. It wouldn't bother me, but I definitely am putting myself in her shoes when I consider this. Has anyone considered any sort of personal safety devices for their SO? I'm also going to be looking around for classes (self-defense, personal safety) for women. I'm just fishing for thoughts, ideas here. Thanks, and enjoy your weekend. Trev

I would think that it depends on the carrier/plan. Pre-existing conditions are generally a thing of the past with employer-based plans, which is where they might be 'catching' some of the immigrants, so to speak (unknown/possibly difficult to verify medical history). If you're self-employed or self-insured, I could see this possibility...might want to shop around.