RJZ+JCW

I had a few fears before my wife arrived here nearly a year ago. However, like her taste in food and her cooking, she has shown to be somewhat "westernized" before she came here. I was expecting she would desire to live near Chinatown, have Mainland born friends, etc. I never noticed any desire or previous personality traits that showed she would take so well to western life, but my wife already knew english very well and worked for foreign companies and travlled to Europe many times. Now, we live far from downtown, away from REAL Chinese influences like Chinatown, she works at a local grocery store and even though she dislikes the pay, which is similar to her pay in China, she prefers to immerse herself in American culture, local culture and learn, learn and learn some more. My opinion is that anytime a outsider takes up home in a new country, they really should do their best to assimilate. Trying to find groups of peers from home is good for support, but it really is best that a foreigner comes up to speed in their new home country ASAP. I mean, if you shelter someone because they are from China, you can basically guarantee that anytime they go outside of their "safety zone" they will always feel like an outsider. You know they/both of you can always go back to China to visit or live and be "Chinese" again, but it's best to get to be comfortable and feel free in your new home. My wife's good friend here is from BJ, married and came to USA about 9 years ago. Currently her English is still not good, but she does her best and lives life like a normal American with a slight communcation handicap. She doesn't require anything special, and I get no sense that she feels out of place. I think her husband never tried to accomodate any "special" needs. She is very happy, and they go back to China often so I think everything is in balance. For my wife and I, we don't plan on going back to China soon, or often if we do go. I guess what I am trying to say is don't worry too much. I wouldn't go making big changes in your current lifestyle or try to relocate near a Chinatown. I know ALOT of Chinese/Taiwanese since I work in a China/US company and none of the Chinese/Taiwanese that have made USA their home require anything more than a Ranch 99 Supermarket. Basically if your wife can get the foods she prefers, she should be fine. I would live in China for my job, but the food in China sucks (IMO) and it is darn near impossible to get good food (again, IMO). Food goes a long way to helping the transition, in fact it is probably as important as your relationship.

Just an update, after being told that her fingerprints were bad, we actually did recieve our Green Card after the welcome letter. So, goes to show they don't really know what's going on anyway.

If it's the Welcome Letter, you can take your wife to get her passport stamped at the USCIS with that letter just in case it takes them too long to get it to you. THX for the info. Yeah, it is the "Welcome Letter". We'll consider getting her passport stamped, but we'll just see if we get the Green Card soon....

Well, we just received an approval letter for her green card today saying that she'll receive her green card shortly. We kinda feel that maybe the lady had her signals crossed. We'll see if we actually get a green card. On a side note, I was surprised at how much paperwork they generate for each case there. I commented on our stack of paperwork, and the lady said that our's is actually less paperwork than what she usually has to deal with. She showed us a tote full of paperwork behind her desk that was just for one person who is being deported. It was full to the top, like 40 pounds of paperwork. We get frustrated with these people sometimes, but it's amazing anything actually goes right over there. I gotta give 'em some credit, those guys are swimming in paperwork.

We went to our green card interview today. The lady didn't give us any trouble or ask any tricky questions. Then she said this: "Well, you guys are definitely passable, but I have a note here saying that her fingerprints didn't show up well enough at her biometrics. You'll be asked to come in again to have the fingerprints taken again...but if I were you I would prepare a police statement from her home city in China declaring that she has no criminal background". And I am like "WTF????" Are you serious (only thinking this, but it prob showed on my face...)??? Well, my first reaction is to chill, we'll try biometrics again in November (they say) but the thought of it not working right and needing to get police reports from Shanghai and Snohomish County (our home county here) just because they can't get clear fingerprints from her really pisses me off. Basically I plan to chill until we get the second prints done. We'll also have them make sure the prints are good while she is there, if that's possible. I probably think this lady had her wires crossed or something, I can't imagine that this is a real situation....I mean, a problem with them getting fingerprints doesn't mean that we need to bend over backwards for them, does it?? Anyone had this experience before?? What to do if it goes bad the second time?? Up until now things have been smooth...but I'll probably loose my cool if something as ridiculous as this causes trouble....

Oh that's nice, kind of reminds me of the famous Lorena Bobbitt story. If your wife is carrying around a bloody knife, you might want to lock up the "family jewels" at night.

If there is a strong Chinese population in your area, you might try and see if there are any Chinese taking ESL courses at the local Community College. However, from my experience, Chinese people are generally indifferent and cool to others, even other Chinese, and I doubt that any of the above mentioned ideas will yield much success in establishing a helpful friendship. My suggestion is to just put her into ESL, let her find whatever friends she can, and let her be as "American" as possible. I know her English needs to improve, but she'll improve faster if she is not "given" to a Chinese community (if you even have one) and she'll probably integrate into your lifestyle faster if she doesn't gang up with other Chinese.

There are Muslims in China. In 2002, while I was in Wuxi, I had a few run-ins with Muslims. They had their little head caps on, and when they saw me they said "osama" several times out-loud. I did not appreciate the heckling very much, and I really wanted to smash on them...but anyway..... I seriously doubt China would allow any known threat against US interests to evolve, even though China grudgingly accepts US presence in China, in no way would China allow any anti-anything (unless it is Jap bashing) to happen. You know, if one group in China ever acted out, they would all be swiftly dealt with. Of course, this does not imply that all "terrorist" threats are muslim (PC), but we all know what it really means (non-PC)

Today my woman easily passed her interview. We arrived a little bit early for her 8am appointment. She made it in early, and was the 6th person to be interviewed. According to her, the interview was brief, and the VO only asked a few questions. We thank the CFL members for providing valuable info that helped us thru this process, because of everyone's contribution, we were very well prepared and knew what to expect for the most part. Most people waiting at the consulate were unclear about the interview process. Some people didn't even know what kind of Visa they were applying for! Well, tonight we will go celebrate....if you are in GZ and see a lao wai wil'n out of control in the streets, that'd be me :-D BTW, my woman is trying to correct my perfect American English as I write this

Hey there. I am in GZ also. I met one American guy at the consulate doors this morning. My woman is currently at her interview, i'm waiting for the news now. Hopefully it will be OK, so anyone have any GZ Halloween plans?? Unfortunately for me, I always find myself in China on my favorite holidays. This will be my 4th Halloween in China

I hate to say it, but I have been watching this thread for a while, and I know that many members here have met their SO online, but I would say meeting online in itself is at least a "red flag at half mast". Visa Digger is someone who puts a USA Visa squarely in their sights, and what better way than to go right to the source?? Chinese women are cunning, and can be very good liars. So, red flags should be going up when a relationship moves to quickly. Anyone can love you immediately online, and say what you need to hear. But when you live with them, you no longer have the convenient ability to "go offline", and take a break. Just be careful, if there are enough Visa Diggers in this world, the US Immigration policy will eventually become even more strict. IMO, relationships are difficult under any circumstance. People need relationships for their own selfish reasons. Some people want money, others want un-wavering love. wanting to be loved is just as selfish as wanting a US Visa, right?? both are things you need the other to give to you?? As long as two people are HONEST in what they expect from life, and actually have compatible goals and are honest with each other, then there are few problems. You should be worried when someone from the other side of the world flies into your life with un-dying love, and no real expectations or realizations of what it takes to be in a healthy relationship (other than I promise to cook and clean for you).

Counterpoint

I am going to China this friday to be with my SO during the GZ interview. Our original plan was to allow her to finish her job at end of year, see family during Chinese New year...etc. Now I am asking her to fly back to USA with me, she will need to quit her job in short notice and miss the Chinese New Year. I am very worried that the USA and China will take drastic action should there be any human cases showing up. I don't worry so much about that flu, I worry about the effect it will have on our long Visa process. The frustration would be terrible if something happened and our Visa expired.

Thanks!!!

I know I should search this, but the search terms are broad, and I need a answer relatively quickly.... If we are approved for Visa, when can we pick up the Visa?? I heard the procedure recently changed. THANKS!!