Faithful?

[vegetarcat]

Dear All,My fiance and I have been waiting for the K-1 visa for more than on year since we submitted our application last summer.Now we are still waiting for the P4 coming.I was wondering if your fiance was intimated with someone else,what will you do?Recently,I happened to know he met some women(He is in the U.S. by now)...i didn't know what finally/exactly happened after they met...after all,we are all behind the screen.Should he/she be faithful to the fiancee/fiance?Thank you.

[Jeikun]

Well in the end, all you can do when you are seperated by so much distance, is trust the person, or not trust the person. The first question would be, do you believe him to be trustWORTHY? If you do, than the best you can do is trust him.. being worried if he is being honest with you or not will only make things harder for you. If you don't think he's trustworthy, then you're pretty much stuck wondering if he's being honest or not... but if you don't find him trustworthy, why are you with him at all?

 

And no, I think regardless of the length of the wait no one who is engaged should be dating other people. If someone can't handle the wait, than they need to end the relationship. That is just my opinion, of course, but I feel pretty strongly about it.

[Guest enight]

...give him a green hat to wear wear de too!

[ahhming888]

Pretty much thats what it all comes down to which is you can't do nothing about it. Maybe if it weren't for the oceans seperating us we can take a quick drive over there to see whats going on.

 

For most on here myself included it is hard to build up the trust after meeting someone for a short period of time. While the rest of the time your only contact with the other person is email, phone conversations. Not being able to see your significant others facial expressions while talking to them. With that in mind and the time frame of the so called "wait" can drive anyone to forming opinions and others to seek other means to fill that gap.

 

In the end this is all part of why were here on this site due to the path we chose to meet out significant other. There will be all types of good and bad things learned during our journey. Some we may have expected and others that just jump right out at you from nowhere.

 

For me I never did any pre-research nor spoken to anyone who had done this before. I had not a clue on what I was getting into when I decided to select this path. Being the spontaneous person I am choosing the path was yet another new challenge for me. For me I guess thats a part of life since if wasn't spontaneous I'll always be wondering what if?

 

A good friend on this board told me why we are choosing this path in his own words "That we are taking this risk to have a chance to be happier finding our significant other" "what do we have to loose if we can't find happiness here in the states" (Similar to what member 'warpedbord' told me) (Hey warpedbord how have you been?)

 

well there's my 2cents...whats yours?

[Guest enight]

right right... no pain no gain...

[ahhming888]

True that Brutha!

[warpedbored]

Pretty much thats what it all comes down to which is you can't do nothing about it.  Maybe if it weren't for the oceans seperating us we can take a quick drive over there to see whats going on. 

 

For most on here myself included it is hard to build up the trust after meeting someone for a short period of time.  While the rest of the time your only contact with the other person is email, phone conversations.  Not being able to see your significant others facial expressions while talking to them.  With that in mind and the time frame of the so called "wait" can drive anyone to forming opinions and others to seek other means to fill that gap. 

 

In the end this is all part of why were here on this site due to the path we chose to meet out significant other.  There will be all types of good and bad things learned during our journey.  Some we may have expected and others that just jump right out at you from nowhere. 

 

For me I never did any pre-research nor spoken to anyone who had done this before.  I had not a clue on what I was getting into when I decided to select this path.  Being the spontaneous person I am choosing the path was yet another new challenge for me.  For me I guess thats a part of life since if wasn't  spontaneous I'll always be wondering what if? 

 

A good friend on this board told me why we are choosing this path in his own words "That we are taking this risk to have a chance to be happier finding our significant other" "what do we have to loose if we can't find happiness here in the states"  (Similar to what member 'warpedbord' told me)  (Hey warpedbord how have you been?)

 

well there's my 2cents...whats yours?

Ah grasshopper you are getting wise for such a young man. I have been fine thank you.

The question really is do we ever really know someone else? I thought I knew my ex better than she does but she sure surprised me when the marriage ended. Maybe you never really know someone until you divorce them.

[Guest enight]

Maybe you never really know someone until you divorce them.

good point!... but... any other way to test?

[leejcandle]

My method has been not only to spend lots of time with my sweetie in China (3 visits so far, 3 weeks duration in September).

 

But instead of 'dating' once or twice a week online (which is how we started), we spend nearly all our free time on Yahoo Instant Messenger with video.

 

If I'm busy for example; she might watch me work. Or maybe we're just having companionship; she might be studying English while I'm reading.

 

Luckily, I have a laptop with a wireless connection. I carry 'her' all over the house with me. Once at a soccer tournament in a distant city, I used the hotels wireless access so that we still stayed in almost constant contact.

 

Our method is to be nearly constant companions with each other; even though we're thousands of miles apart. We keep each other entertained, and we try to council each other on keeping our patience.

[Jim - Portland, USA]

Should he/she be faithful  to the fiancee/fiance?

Yes, engaged couples should be faithful to each other.

[Jason+Joanna]

Call me old fashioned, but I think two people should be committed to a relationship if they are just dating -- i.e. They should not be playing around. So, obviously I think that no one should be cheating while engaged either.

 

The foundation of love (I think) is open and honest communication, and trust that comes with that communication. If one person violates that, then the relationship is headed for trouble.

[keelec]

As many of you know, I managed to find a woman who was "using" me, and ended up cheating on me.

 

We patiently waited 18 months for her visa interview to be scheduled. I faithfully waited. She did not. After 18 months, she chose not to go to the interview and admitted dating another (Russian) guy while we were waiting for the visa.

 

I have no idea what would have happened had the wait been shorter. Perhaps our government helped show me what was truly in her heart. Yet, I can not accept that as a justification for the delay.

 

Distance makes things hard. One things that became a major issue for us was the difficulty with communication.

 

Perhaps I will write more later.

[xian47]

yes..technically we are engaged and what a disappointment it would be to not mean what you say to eachother. if you tell someone that you love them and you want to spend the rest of your life with them...then the games should be over.I have been knowing my MM since 2002 i till this day i never have cheated on her..i truly love her

[James]

I would never ever cheat on my wife no matter how long we have to wait. It doesn't matter if we're living in the same house or thousands of miles apart -- I don't really accept "long distance relationships are hard" as any kind of justification for cheating.

[PJ]

I believe that faithfulness is an absolute requirement. I made it clear from the get-go that things like spending habits, sleeping habits, annoying habits, etc are compromise, but I would be 100% faithful and loyal always and expected nothing less.