send money to financee

[Guest jimcope]

Hi to All

Just a question. I have been sending my girlfriend 200 dollars a month. she has her own condo and is not working right now. she goes to english class every night but sunday. she was very sick and put in the hospital for 10 day so i sent her some extra money to help out about 600 extra. I know others send a lot more and some do not send any at all. I told her my credit card is maxed out so I could not send any money agail till october that will be out 11 month going in to the visa prosess, Can any one give me insite on this subject. She Has never ask me for money but her girl friends said she needs money.

thanks jim

[Guest blsqueaky]

This should open a can of worms as far as replies and questions, so I guess that I will start:

 

Own condo, but not work

 

She never asks, but her girlfriends tell you that she needs.

 

Inquiring minds want to know.

[LENJIA]

Hi to All

    Just a question. I have been sending my girlfriend 200 dollars a month. she has her own condo and is not working right now. she goes to english class every night but sunday. she was very sick and put in the hospital for 10 day so i sent her some extra money to help out about 600 extra. I know others send a lot more and some do not send any at all. I told her my credit card is maxed out so I could not send any money agail till october that will be out 11 month going in to the visa prosess, Can any one give me insite on this subject.  She Has never ask me for money but her girl friends said she needs money.

                                                                thanks jim

Be careful, use good judgemennt and common sense.......

[tonado]

Be careful. Don't spoil her.

[Mengxin]

Sending $$$ is a touchy subject. I think most foreigners believe we all have a Tom Cruise bank role and drive Mercedes all day. Afterall we are all only fat and lazy Americans...(so some think, because they see it in the movies.) . Money shouldn't be an issue in the minds of many of her friends I'm sure. They are probably wondering why you want to make her beg for it. There is pleantly of room for argument over this discussion. As long as you and your wife are cool with the situation, it's all good. If not, I suggest nipping it in the but right away. It's between you and her, not them. Her friends will all talk smack, I'm sure. This situation with her friends doesn't tend to work in your favor. Trust me. Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt.

[Bryan_Qunying]

Hi to All

    Just a question. I have been sending my girlfriend 200 dollars a month. she has her own condo and is not working right now. she goes to english class every night but sunday. she was very sick and put in the hospital for 10 day so i sent her some extra money to help out about 600 extra. I know others send a lot more and some do not send any at all. I told her my credit card is maxed out so I could not send any money agail till october that will be out 11 month going in to the visa prosess, Can any one give me insite on this subject.  She Has never ask me for money but her girl friends said she needs money.

                                                                thanks jim

Hi Jim,

 

Just like the others have said, be careful and understand what is at steak. I also send my wife money every month but I think our situation is a little different.

 

My wife also owns a condo but untill about April when we got P3, she had a very good business going. When she received the P3 we anticipated that P4 ways not to far away. (Ooopps... got that wrong!) At any rate, I had been sending her money before and she would use it, at my request, on her daughter and to save what was left for the up coming expenses for GZ etc. My wife, by no means, needs the money, but it helps on those days now that she has gone from 60 regular customers, down to 4 or 5. (outstanding obligations).

 

So sending money is not always a bad thing. Just keep in mind that $600 in China is 4900RMB if she gets it from an ATM. That is alot of money per month for the average Chinese. Talk to your MM and ask her to be honest with you about everything. She will talk to you if she loves you.

 

Good Luck! Bryan

[Guest BouncingBohemian]

At first it sounded like a classic scam to me - money for english classes,

visits to the hospital, etc - usually run by a big fat guy named "Boris"

who posts the picture of a model on one of the websites. But if you

have actually seen her in person, you will have gotten far better

feedback than we can give you as to whether she is legit.

 

It seems a little weird to me that "her girlfriends" are in contact

with you saying she needs money. And yes, $200 a month is a

lot of money in China.

 

Has she been eager in gathering information to fill out the forms?

My fiance is a tiger at filling these things out, requesting things

from local governments, getting them translated and notarized,

etc. She's very proactive and constantly peppers me with questions.

I would think if your lady is sincere about coming to marry you, she

would have a similar attitude. Especially considering she isn't working.

 

You can get most of the Packet 3 and Packet 4 forms in advance

online at http://www.state.gov/m/a/dir/c4456.htm It might be

interesting to tell her this and see how efficient she is at filling out

the forms. Besides, if everything is legit, you'll both want to get them

done as soon as possible anyway, right?

[yave20b]

Well I also send my fiancee money every month... about $150. She had a job working for an American exporting cloth to the US but he never paid her that much. So I asked her to quit because I wanted to be able to spend as much time with her as I could when I went to see her. In return, I promised to support her. She was not too enthusiastic with this at first, being proud, but I really pushed on this one because I didn't want her job, which didn't pay much anyway, interfering with our relationship during my visits and also later for all the visa things she has to do. She is renting a 3 bedroom apartment from a friend and made a deal with the friend to pay only about $50 per month for the rent. She sometimes moonlights for her friend doing some English translation to make a little extra cash but so far I'm really pleased with this arrangement...and its been like this for 9 months. She never asks me for money. I always have to badger her into telling me how much she has left from last month.

 

She knows all Americans are not filthy rich. But she does have some friends who think they are. But for come Chinese girls, it can be very tempting to set up a few guys to send money each month. Even if the guys figure it out, they've made enough before then to make a comfortable living the rest of the year...and there are always others waiting to be taken. But my experience in China for the past 15 years is that this type of woman tends to be rare.

[Jim - Portland, USA]

Hi to All

    Just a question. I have been sending my girlfriend 200 dollars a month. she has her own condo and is not working right now. she goes to english class every night but sunday. she was very sick and put in the hospital for 10 day so i sent her some extra money to help out about 600 extra. I know others send a lot more and some do not send any at all. I told her my credit card is maxed out so I could not send any money agail till october that will be out 11 month going in to the visa prosess, Can any one give me insite on this subject.  She Has never ask me for money but her girl friends said she needs money.

                                                                thanks jim

Hi Jim,

 

I'm not exactly sure what your question is. Are you asking if it's okay to be sending your fiancee money? Of course, yes!! She is your loved one that you want to spend the rest of your life with (you have already comittied to doing this), so send her whatever money she needs/wants. It's too late for you to start questioning her ... you've already made the commitment! Go forward with your decision. It's called a "leap of faith".

 

If you are asking about whether or not it's okay to *NOT* send her money (because you don't have any), yes this is a very big concern. This is really not a good situation for you to be in now.

 

If you can't afford $200 per month to support her now (while she is living cheaply in China), how do you expect to support her when she is living with you in America? The fact that you are hard up for cash now (with a maxed out credit card) is not a good sign. You should be thinking of a way to get more money to support her after she arrives. I'm sure you expect her to work, and that's fine, but she won't be able to work at first. Uhm ... do you expect to live off the money she gets after she sells the condo? Just be prepared for after she arrives, make sure all your finances are in order. Maybe it's time to ask for a raise

[Davter]

If you are asking about whether or not it's okay to *NOT* send her money (because you don't have any), yes this is a very big concern.  This is really not a good situation for you to be in now.

 

But it is a very good chance for you to test her out, which means you could make sure if the girl that you are in love with will be and will always be with you even in the difficult times, hard times, and sad times.

Don't know if you meet her and her parents in person or not, know her very well... if she really needs money, I would think you should try the best to help while she should be trying to help herself either, find a temporary work...

Another thing appears here is why she didn't save any money from her salary when she was working, well I know its none of other's business, but it is not so good to spend all of the money you earn, espically when you have a family, you have to think about your future and your children's future, sorry for being so far from the topic

I agree with others, be careful.

[Davter]

I'm sure you expect her to work, and that's fine, but she won't be able to work at first.  Uhm ... do you expect to live off the money she gets after she sells the condo?

Think over before selling the condo!! I would suggest not to sell, just keep it. it can be an investment