I WANT THAT DAMNED STAMP!

[garagegodness]

I read your post in " Yan's Progress". I did not like it at all! You clearly pointed out Yan planned a divorce even before she came to the U.S. and expressed your positive doubt that Michael has been used. Those judgements were only based on the fact that you know neither of them in person, or long enough.

I based my judgement upon the fact that Yan asked for a divorce less than 72 hours after their marriage. She never asked to end their relationship before their marriage, but in less than 72 afterwards she wanted a divorce. Hmm. Makes one think. Then she continued to repeatedly ask for a divorce several times after their marriage too. I thought that was kind of strange.

 

So when I said that seemed unusual, you thought I was wrong to say so? If I remember correctly, I think I told Michael to not brush her requests for a divorce under the carpet, and that he should give some serious consideration to the reason why she was repeatedly asking for a divorce. Was that bad advice to give? Seemed like the logical thing to do.

You know what, if you do not remember what you wrote about Yan. Here it is! Now once again, think before you speak. You definitely have every right to express your opinions, but there is definitely something more important than rushing to make an early judgement before you hurt people's feelings. If i were Yan, I would feel very hurt to read this;

***********************************************************"

 

Michael,

 

I am very surprised to hear about this! I am also deeply saddened by this. Are you serious? I can't imagine the grief you are suffering now, although you've been doing a great job hiding it.

 

I've been keeping up with your posts on this thread, and this is the first I've heard of anything going awry between you and Yan. Am I missing some other posts??

 

How can she go from "let's get married" to "let's get divorced" in 72 hours?? 72 hours?!?! Did she ever express any doubts or concerns about getting married before the marriage? I assume not. So how can she turn on a dime like that and change her mind so quickly?

 

I don't think any of this has anything to do with personal problems between you and her and the relationship. Do you really think she loved you one moment then suddenly within 72 hours she saw something in you she didn't like, and decided to get divorced on the grounds that you and her are not suddenly compatible? It sure seems obvious to me that she is using you. Or, shall I say, has used you. I think it's a lost cause seeking the help of a marriage counselor.

 

She asked for a divorce within 72 hours of getting married ... that was planned!!!

 

You said it yourself, that's more than just homesickness.

 

Time for some of my patened tough-love Vulcan-logic advice here. I hope you don't mind

 

If she wants a divorce and wants to go back to China, make it happen ASAP. Try for an annullment. But ... something tells me she doesn't want to go back to China, right? She wants to stay here in America, right? I think so because that was her scheme all along.

 

I think you should report her to the authorities for visa fraud and make sure she gets her butt thrown onto an airplane and gets shipped back to China.

 

How can she ask for a divorce just 3 days after the marriage?? That's insane.

 

Even if if if if if she did just happen to change her mind within 72 hours of marrying you, because she suddenly saw something in you she doesn't like, then this isn't a girl worth being with if she can be so heartless and capricious. How dare she treat you like that? If she can suddenyl say she doesn't love you anymore in a matter of a few days, what's next in this marriage with her? This goes so far way beyond cold feet or second thoughts. She's still asking for a divorce, you can't ignore that. So give her one along with a plane ticket back to where she came from. That's what she deserves and hopefully that's what she'll get.

 

I'm sorry for being so negative and pesimistic, but I think a crime has been committed and you seem to be shrugging this off as if it's nothing or just a small bump in the road. It ain't! A request for divorce within 72 hours of marriage is a deal-breaker in my book, no matter how you look at it.

 

What are your plans Michael? I hope that you keep us updated. I'm very interested to see what happens. Again, I feel so sorry for you, this is a nightmare I think many of us never want to see happen!!!

 

--------------------

OUR K-1 VISA APPLICATION TIMELINE

 

08-SEP-03 > Mailed original Petition for Alien Fiancee to Nebraska Service Center (NSC)

10-SEP-03 > Petition delivered, received, and registered by NSC

13-SEP-03 > Received first/only Notice of Action (NOA1) via postal mail

 

170 days later ...

 

27-FEB-04 > NSC grants approval (NOA2)

03-MAR-04 > National Visa Center (NVC) receives petition

 

10 days later ...

 

12-MAR-04 > NVC approves and forwards petition to Guangzhou, China

15-MAR-04 > Petition arrives in Guangzhou via DHL; held due to "clearance delay"

06-APR-04 > DHL courier delivers petition to US consulate in Guangzhou (GZ)

 

6 days later ...

 

12-APR-04 > GZ sends Packet 3 (P3) to Juxin

15-APR-04 > Juxin receives P3

21-APR-04 > Juxin returns P3

23-APR-04 > GZ receives P3

06-MAY-04 > GZ registers P3

 

Praying for an interview in June July August September

[Jim - Portland, USA]

Something to say when your spouse of 72 hours asks for a divorce ...

 

"this is a nightmare I think many of us never want to see happen"

 

Finally, a correct use of the word nightmare!!

 

This thread is going nowhere and is suffering from some severe thread drift. I'm sure Lori is dying to get some advice on how to make the Feds operate faster and not just hear kind words from all but me. As soon as anyone learns how to make Lori a happier girl (as I have failed to do), please post here.

[warpedbored]

Jim I have met you in person, I know you are a nice guy and I like you but you seem to be having a real hard time here admiting you were wrong. You have been spanked severely. Maybe it would be best to just let the thread die.

[se_lang]

Jim I have met you in person, I know you are a nice guy and I like you but you seem to be having a real hard time here admiting you were wrong.  You have been spanked severely.  Maybe it would be best to just let the thread die.

I also have met Jim in person, He is a nice cheerful fellow and he was harsh on Lori, But I will make an excuse for him being ornery, He has not seen his woman in awhile so I am sure the tension is building inside and this was just a little steam getting released. May I suggest a double batch of cheeto's.

 

Ok now back to the regular programming, Good luck Lori and cheerish what you do have even if the process is a royal pain.

[warpedbored]

Having our petition go through NSC when they were so slow (186 days) was so frustrating to me. I can remember my anger when I would see a VSC petition pas me by then get P-3 while I was still waiting for NOA-2. Anger at the system sometimes spills over to anger at others. Hang in there Jim and Lori all will come to pass in it's own time.

[Jim - Portland, USA]

Thanks Carl and Darrell for the kind words. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not my usual self these days. I am not a happy camper right now, nor will I be as long as our government continues to force my sweetie and I to remain seperated from each other on opposite sides of the earth for an inordinate period of time. It's cruel and it feels like torture.

 

And I make no apologies for the fact that Lori's post drove me nuts. Still does. She has a lot to be thankful for and I think she can do herself a favor by turning her situation around and looking at it in a different way - a different perspective. Then when she gets sleepy she can kiss her husband good night and have a comfortable nights' sleep.

 

Lori, if you are reading this, I already apologized for the harsh tone of my post (please re-read my first post if you missed it). But I chose my words carefully and I don't regret anything I said.

 

Even your own husband thinks the rubber stamp is not so important.

 

But I shall apologize again if you took too much offense to what I said. By no means do I think you are a bad person (from the teeny tiny bit I do know you, you seem like a nice girl), it's just that the attitude of your message sent me over the edge and I have no apology for that. I know this immigration stuff bends us all out of shape, especially me, I admit it!

 

Carl, for our next BBQ we can form a spank-me gaunlet which I'll reluctantly run through and you can have the honor of giving me the first whack. Then it will be Kim because I know he likes to do that but he can't with Fei because she doesn't like that so much.

 

Darrell, you hit the nail on the head on that one ... it's been 6 months since I've been with my honey and the countless bags of Cheetos ain't cutting it!

 

I hope I made my amends in this post ... may this thread rest in peace

[lori&dave]

Wow, so many guys are condeming me. I thought I posted something in the right place here-immigration challenges. I'm very sympathetic towards those who are still waiting for the visa since I have been there. I just don;t understanding why they thought I did something wrong in putting my compains (ok, I admit I was mad at INS) here (is this a place talking abt challenges after moving to US?)

 

Well, everyone has different definition of the word nightmare. I am amused some angry guy would be aroused by my English.

 

I apologize for my language and please understand I'm only seeking help fm people who are in similar situation like me- people who are experiencing the problems after entering US.

[garagegodness]

Don't worry Lori. You are fine here..so am I. Hope everything is going on well with you at school. I have not talked to you for a while..you know who i am ?

If they really messed up your paperwork, I am sure they will take care of it. Good luck!

[warpedbored]

I think the majority of us were sticking up for you Lori.

[oregonknl]

GEEEZZZE ~!!!

 

HOW DID I MISS ALL THIS ACTION !!!

 

(Just now read the whole thread) I also have met Jim, and think it is very much out of character for him ---

 

---- but as it happens, I fully understand it from the perspective of a father who has had to wait for his daughters to come from China ---- (and, yes, in the first adoption, --- to watch MANY who's applications were later --- go to get their daughters ahead of me.... )

 

And that experience may be the ONLY reason that I don't lash out now, still waiting like Jim, for my Fei ...

 

Lori, Jim really is a very reasonable and smart man, and I personally hope he and I can be friends at the end of the process --- My feeling is to view this as a sign of his passion for his woman --- and an aberration to his character.

 

But yes, your post-visa concerns are legitimate, and I hope they are resolved soon.

 

If there is any bright side to this --- having read the posts --- great, thoughtful, and heartfelt advice CFLers !

 

--- Kim

[lori&dave]

I went to SF INS this morning and found that my A file arrived last month while security check still pending.

[lori&dave]

Well, that's good news, Lori. When the clearance gets done - and it will - you'll get a letter notifying you. You can get get the stamp or wait for your green card. Normally, the green card doesn't take that long after you are notified.

Thank u, Don. I feel relieved now sinec my file wasnt lost. I also heard some gals on 001 forum complaining that they have been waiting longer than I do. I just hope in future this process will be simplified and other gals won't have to experience this any more.

 

BTW, if anyone is planning for a trip to walk-in SF INS, I suggest them to go as early as possible in the morning. When we arrived there on6:35, line was already very long and the the waiting room inside was packed already. Tickets are limited for talking to a sluggish and sleep officer. The lady who served us wanted to get rid of us without even checking computer for us!

[tonyuab]

My wife is the same way. She's waiting on the I-485 approvel now. Since Atlanta office is slowest in the nation, we are not sure how long it will take. I guess I'll have to file the K3 extension for her next year.

[warpedbored]

I'm getting a little antsy myself. We filed our 485 4 weeks ago and have yet to recieve any kind of notice. The checks I wrote cleared the bank though,

[tywy_99]

My wife is the same way.  She's waiting on the I-485 approvel now.  Since Atlanta office is slowest in the nation, we are not sure how long it will take.  I guess I'll have to file the K3 extension for her next year.

Unless your wife plans to travel out of the United States, an extension for the K-3 visa is not necessary. Since the I-485 AOS has been filed, your wife's status is a non-resident alien pending status to LPR, and may remain in the United States without accruing unlawful presence.

The CIS form I-539 is for extension of NIV's and is mainly for work, tourist, student, etc., and since the K-3 visa is a NIV, the I-539 is applicable for K-3/4 should you need it for traveling outside of the United States while waiting adjustment.

For K-3/4, CIS will not presume that departure constitutes abandonment of an adjustment application that has been filed.

This is quite different from K-1/2 holders who are required to obtain advance parole to avoid abandonment of their adjustment application with CIS, if they leave the United States.