Have you ever thought about this?

[oregonknl]

I was pleasently surprised at the reaction of Fei's parents to me ----

 

Her mother was about as I expected from Fei's description -- very open and warm, not a complicated person, nothing held back -- how she reacted to you was her honest opinion. And we hit it off right away (we communicated through the food ---- she made special things, I appreciated them, and compared them to other things I had had in China, also, discussed (throgh Fei) ingredients etc. --- we both enjoyed that..

 

Fei's father was much more informal and casual about our relationship than I expected... As the former president of the University (the grounds on which they still live) -- and as a rather authoritarian parent --- I sort of expected the American Father treatment: Particularly since I had met her sister's family in September, and NO ONE had the nerve to tell him about me.... until a week before we met. He simply made me welcome in his apartment, and waited (mostly) for me to talk.... Over the course of the several days I was there, we came to understand that we shared many values, so it went well.

 

I agree with Jason --- there is no love lost for the Japanese in anywhere I have been in China --- and it was the treatment of the Chinese in Hunan by the Japanese in WW2 that lead my future father in law to join the PLA as soon as he was old enough in 1947..

 

My parent's are gone, but neither would have had any objections ---- they both loved Jet, neither had the opportunity to meet Eve. My brother and sister don't generally care one way or the other --- although my sister has come around somewhat...

 

My ex's people are inexcusably vile racists. Her mother was sweet, and had some control over the behavior of her father, but she died, and the real side of the father came out. Her brother is even worse --- The father was a Polish-American longshoreman on the docks of Baltimore for over 40 years, (except for Seabee service in the Pacific) -- but while some come back from war with their head on straighter than when they went --- others just bring back more of the meanness that they took over in the first place.

 

As John mentioned, about the ethnic seperation eastern cities, the Polish section of Baltimore was very protective if its own --- and where my ex grew up. Her father once said: "There is no difference between a Jap and a Chink" And of Jet: "That girl means nothing to me -- she isn't "blood" One of the big rubs between my ex and me was that I didn't want my daughters exposed to her side of the family...

[warpedbored]

One of the few plus sides to the visa process taking so long is it does give our familys plenty of time to get used to the idea of marrying a Chinese woman.

[oregonknl]

OK Carl, nice try.

 

...can you think of another?

 

come on, lets really sugar coat this puppy.....

[MoonCarolCafe]

Her father once said: "There is no difference between a Jap and a Chink"

 

 

Her father is correct. Add Rag-Top, Gook, Kaffir, Dago, Wop, Dune-Coon, Spook, Beaner, Dot, Round-eye, Wog to the above statement and it is still correct.

 

And this just in from our news correspondent in China-- The USA does not hold a monopoly on small minded bigots who object to "race-mixing", as I am certain some of those present can attest.

[se_lang]

My family & friends were more concerned with the fact that I might get screwed around and used for a green card, My step mother and step grand father were mexican, My niece is dating a black man, my brother in law has filipeno in laws my ex was Panamanian, her brother married a columbian. A family reunion would look like an international convention. Bottom line is she is the woman I love anyone else's opinion does not matter.

[warpedbored]

Bottom line is she is the woman I love anyone else's opinion does not matter.

Damn Darrell! once again you open your mouth and common sense spews out. You sure you don't want to run for president? you can have my sister as a running mate. Hmmm maybe not she doesn't have any sense at all.

[Guest winterslush]

For me, my family is very chaotic so I didnt think too much about how marrying a woman from China will affect the larger family. In fact, for many years now I have wondered about my own family name and have considered changing it. Springmud is right that one of my aunts is also chinese but I have never met her, and my uncle lives with her far away from the rest of the family so it has not really had much impact.

At times though, I feel a little guilty about changing Springmud's family this way. I feel like such an intrusion to her mom and dad. Who would want to add someone to their family that they can not even talk with? It must be very hard for them. I only hope I can ease their worries by being a good man to springmud and help her to care for her parents as they grow old. I really look forward to learning more and more mandarin so that I can eventually feel like a real member of her family.

[sylinchinastill]

My parents were great about it- but they had both been to China and met Hengli there- he showed them Chinese hospitality which beats any I have seen elsewhere in the world. So they really liked him. I dated a Costa Rican guy when I lived there a while back though- and my dad was not happy about it- but this time I didn't give him a chance to not like Hengli- I think both of my parents know I will do what I want anyway- and they knew how serious the relationship was so they were very cool about it. My grandparents were a little tentative at first but... and then when Hengli came he met a lot of my family and then at the wedding he met everyone. Hengli is very good at meeting and talking with people- way better than I am - and so everyone thinks he is such a great guy now. His parents are the best though. His dad is one of my favorite people in the world- he is so humble (which is weird because he is a general in the Chinese army) and he took care of me in China- my mom and dad are planning trips to China to meet them in the next couple of years- I think that will be so great- I wish the language barrier wasn't between them but...

When I was in China the general opinion of Chinese people when I told people I had a Chinese fiance was that we will have very beautiful and smart children because we are so far apart in looks and nationality- and here I think it is better that people think, "Oh my god, Sylvia went to China and brought home a Chinese husband- how weird!" because when they meet Hengli and see how beautiful and sweet he is- it throws off any stereotypes or hesitation they might have had before.

[James]

"My ex went to college in Michigan when I was stationed in Maryland, and I would drive out there 3 weekends a month."

 

Wow!  How far is that??

527 miles each way.

That's a heck of a drive. Did you do that for long?

[Jeikun]

"My ex went to college in Michigan when I was stationed in Maryland, and I would drive out there 3 weekends a month."

 

Wow!  How far is that??

527 miles each way.

That's a heck of a drive. Did you do that for long?

August 1998 - December 1999. After that, I was here in Virginia from December 1999 - September 2000, and drove up there every other week (650 miles each way). I put just over 100,000 miles on my truck from August 98 - August 2000.

[Kaige]

My parents were not to supprised, only when I came home and told them we were maried not engaged, mother did have the chance to meet Yan a little and speak to her due to her poor health before she passed, my father loves her so dearly, he always says she is his daughter, first wife was a Redneck and I was a Yankee, so what is the difference? so all in all the family loves her more than my first and loves her and respects her alot more, so it really doesn't matter where you came from we are all human, and have fealings and can love each other no matter where we were born, my family history was German 1892, and my grandfather fought in WW1 against his homeland. I am blessed with a wonderful wife, to bad MaMa and BaBa live so far away, they love me to

[Bobby]

We haven't really had any problems. I have one cousin who married a prostitute while on leave in Spain, but all things considered, I'm pretty sure everyone is happy with my choices. The crux of my family's relationship is mutual respect. My family respects my choices and I respect theirs. I was quite surprised by the reception my wife got and am now convinced that they'd trade me for her any day .

 

As far as her family goes, as far as I can tell, they accept me. She told me that they could see that I would take care of her and so they weren't worried. Most of them were happy to see her get on with her life and make something of herself. The only bad reaction I got was out of her youngest sister who didn't understand why her big sister was moving away, but I think she's ok with it now.

 

The interracial thing is something I think about some times, but overall people's acceptance of us has been great. I get the usual jokes from time to time, and there's really only one I won't tolerate (this one having to do with the USPS). But once I explain everything that we went through to get together, most people respect our relationship and our love.

 

Occasionally she asks me if I think I would be happier with an 'American Girl'. I always look her right in the eyes and very honestly tell her that I couldn't be happier with any other person in the world.

[LENJIA]

Occasionally she asks me if I think I would be happier with an 'American Girl'.  I always look her right in the eyes and very honestly tell her that I couldn't be happier with any other person in the world.

Jennifer has asked me why I didnt get married to an American. I eally didnt know what to say about that except, 'I dont know." I take the easy way out. I have been happy with American girls, but not as happy as I am now. I dont think there is any American girl that could make me as happy as I am right now.

[maiyademama]

Interesting thread, however it doesn't really apply to me as i am not the first person in my family to marry someone of another nationality/race/or religion.

 

My brother (half chinese, Cherokee, Chactaw, French, and Scottish---same as me and our sister) just married a Jewish British national. I think about what it will be like for future generations--assuming he has children and assuming he gets sons to pass a name to-- If none of his offspring marry back into the asian race...how interesting it will be for great grandchildren who carry a Chinese surname but look nothing close to being asian. I am sure this kind of thing happens all the time and there are probably people of a myriad ethnicities walking around with seeming inconguously ethnic sounding surnames (of course, that is not to mention all the adoptees who carry the names of adopted parents--also like me--last name is Hartwell from step dad who adopted me).

 

When I think about it, it makes me proud that we have no "pure" blood in our family (everyone knows there is no such thing) but by all rights the only race, I can or want to claim is the human race. Having the artificial barriers of race holding me to any one set of values is a hindrance that I believe many can do without. Not that I believe we should not hold on to TRADITION and CULTURE...I just don't believe in ASSIMILATION of culture...I believe we should embrace and share our differing cultures.

 

Just thoughts anyway.....

 

Taz

[mtbdude]

Maybe they are not spies but instead are deep undercover sleeper agents for when China takes over the world!!!!!

my theory is that china and microsoft eventually come together to rule the world.