Bobby

Just poking my head in real quick. Cai Yun and I have been doing well. We're expecting a little baby boy at the end of January. We still haven't received her greencard (our case went from us, to Atlanta, to (I think) Nebraska, to California), but things are looking up. She'll be learning to drive in the next month or two. We haven't been back to China yet, but are planning to sometime in the next year or so. Really things are going great. It was well-worth the hassle, and hopefully we'll be finished soon.

Congrats, Mick!

I'm a software developer living in South Carolina.. planning on getting the heck outta here asap...

There's quite a bit of wisdom in this statement.. the first time I went to sz, I wore decently nice clothes (khaki slacks and decent button shirt) to impress my [then] girlfriend and her family.. the beggers and other not-so-favourables wouldn't leave me alone.. so, I decided to change into my "weekend" clothes (cargoes with holes in them, a t-shirt, and dirty running shoes).. sure enough, I rarely got bothered.. I still got extra attention from people, but for the most part, people left me alone.. I actually enjoyed my time in sz, and part of it was the general excitement of being in what I consider a "wild west" town. My in-laws are from the area and are very wise as to where and where it is not safe to go and do.. haven't been clubbing yet, but hoping I can next time.. As far as "blending in".. yeah, that's just not going to happen.. Common sense is the key.. ShenZhen's a beautiful city and growing by the day.. get out and enjoy it, just don't do anything stupid.. check out DongMen Litchi Park.. Aside from that, I find simply walking around to be really exciting..

I've been in SZ and the surrounding areas twice without a hitch.. I've had problems with beggars before, but luckily my brother-in-law is a cop.. My wife was attacked in the city near her village (in the SZ area, a city called, LongGang)... the people who are are actually from the SZ area generally can tell who is not from SZ and disdain these people.. I have to agree with lele, just stick with those rules and you'll do pretty well..

Still waiting on our EAD here..

You might also want to look into buying Superbit versions of the DVD's you want (usually in silver boxes). They cost a little bit more, but tend to have a lot of different languages supported. I discovered this when I saw a copy of Spiderman at Wal-Mart (yes, in South Carolina) with Chinese subtitles.

Its funny.. I've also been wondering what is "officially" considered good and bad luck. It seems to me that pretty much any time I do something she doesn't like, its bad luck.. "don't drive too fast, its bad luck".. "don't point, its bad luck".. "don't point with your chopsticks, its bad luck".. "don't put my pants on your head and run around, its bad luck".. I've always believed that the concept of "luck" stemmed from mothers looking for a passive/easy way to get their kids to stop doing things (ie. walking under a ladder and opening an umbrella indoors are just bad ideas to begin with).. How about common american causes of bad luck? Stepping on a crack on the sidewalk Opening an umbrella indoors Walking under a ladder Having a 13th floor in your building (the buildings I visisted in HK and SZ did not have a 13th floor either) Dropping salt Those are all I can think of off of the top of my head..

Greetings all, sorry its been a while. My wife has been in the country since March 2 and things are going great! I just wanted to let you know our status and let you know about something that I didn't know of before-hand.. We applied for her AOS and EAD on April 30, 2004.. We did the fingerprinting on June 22, IIRC.. the AOS is still being processed, and it looks like Atlanta is working on 485's from March 2002, so its going to be a little while. We're still waiting for her EAD. Let me tell you about a little "gotcha" that I didn't know about. If you have not recieved an update or EAD within 90 days of your NOA (our's was May 19) you can go to your local field office and request an interim EAD (which is free, issued very quickly and good for -- I hear -- 8 months or so). The trap we fell into, however, is in that our EAD was approved on July 30, but they sent it to the wrong address (yes, they used the correct address when they send us our NOA, they just mis-typed it when they mailed her EAD). So, the rule says that if they have approved it and you have not yet received it, you must wait 30 days from the notice that they mailed it (available online or by calling the office) before they can request a revisit of your case to see if it was returned to sender or to have them re-issue the card. So, we're still waiting. We requested last monday that they revisit our case, and there's been no update. I'm going to give them a call next monday (to give them 2 weeks to do what they need to do -- seems reasonable to me). My wife is going insane with cabin fever. I'm starting to think volunteer work would be the thing for her until this is cleared up.. Now just to convince her that there is some value in working but not getting paid

This reminds me of something I should have posted a long time ago, but forgot. Be careful of the restaurant on Shamian island on the end of the park near the White Swan hotel. Its stands by itself, and I believe it is next to the Kodak place. Anyhow, it had probably the worst food I've had in China yet. (we had the noodles which were barely palatable, and at one point I tried the spaghetti. I've never had spaghetti that tasted like fish, I think they use the same water for everything).

Save me a seat on the bus! I was never really attracted to Asian women. The ones I had met either fit the "submissive" stereotype (at least publicly) or seemed really bossy and domineering. I am, however, very attracted to women of small, athletic build (my cy to a "T" ). I was really wary when I first started talking with my wife and took things as slow as possible. I certainly wasn't ready to get married, and, in the beginning, neither was she. She was the first one to get the marriage bug, then I got infected with it later. Now we're having a great time. I love my new Chinese family and the cultural exchange is amazing. I'm hoping someday down the line we can both move to Asia for a few years so we can spend time near her family and experience new things. Why didn't I fall for an American girl? I could list the superficial reasons (bossy, high maintenance, general pain in the asre), but that's not it. I just hadn't met anyone that I was interested in spending my life with.

I have to negotiate the tip before we walk out of the door or we don't eat. And, because of my poor bargaining skills, there are now a few places in town that I don't feel very welcome in any more..

We haven't really had any problems. I have one cousin who married a prostitute while on leave in Spain, but all things considered, I'm pretty sure everyone is happy with my choices. The crux of my family's relationship is mutual respect. My family respects my choices and I respect theirs. I was quite surprised by the reception my wife got and am now convinced that they'd trade me for her any day . As far as her family goes, as far as I can tell, they accept me. She told me that they could see that I would take care of her and so they weren't worried. Most of them were happy to see her get on with her life and make something of herself. The only bad reaction I got was out of her youngest sister who didn't understand why her big sister was moving away, but I think she's ok with it now. The interracial thing is something I think about some times, but overall people's acceptance of us has been great. I get the usual jokes from time to time, and there's really only one I won't tolerate (this one having to do with the USPS). But once I explain everything that we went through to get together, most people respect our relationship and our love. Occasionally she asks me if I think I would be happier with an 'American Girl'. I always look her right in the eyes and very honestly tell her that I couldn't be happier with any other person in the world.

Upon my first visit to ShenZhen, I insisted seeing the WalMart there. It struck me as kind of dumpy. Its underground, has a low ceiling and reminded me of a Big Lots (or large Family Dollar) here in the states. It was the only place I went in China where they didn't accpet a 1 RMB coin that I gave them (after buying an apple ).. On our way somewhere (LongGang? GuangZhou?) we did pass another WalMart that looked like one of these multi-storey behemoths that you wrote about. I didn't get to visit it, though . There's a line of department/grocery stores in ShenZhen that has a giant green 'K' in its logo, IIRC, that I enjoyed visiting. They were clean, nice, and had a good variety. I thought the tiny little shopping carts were cool too..

I've spoken a few times with my wife about this (she has four sisters, and her brother-in-law has a twin brother). What she explained to me is that if a family has more than one child, the government will institute fines as well as begin to refuse to allow parents to work (first the mother, then the father, IIRC). For some reason, wages are garnished, yet none of the money taken goes to anything useful (besides some politicians pockets). As far as the abortion thing.. I've heard rumblings about forced abortions, but have never seen it. My wife once said something about her mother being forced to have an abortion, but didn't really get into any details. She did tell me that its quite easy to get an abortion in China and was surprised to hear that you can't just run to the hospital here and get it done anytime for any reason. As far as disinformation goes.. I live in a state where there's a lot of animosity towards the far east (China specifically). Textiles were very big here. One day while she was trying on clothes, another husband (who was also waiting) told me he hates China for taking away his job. I explained that I'm in the IT field, and although I don't feel any animosity towards India, I do understand why he's angry. I tried to follow-up with asking him if he'd considered other careers or at least a different "angle" on his current career, but he didn't really have anything further to discuss with me (maybe after seeing me hug my wife when she came out of the changing area )..