How nice are you

[skibum]

The recent topic about death in China has made me get back on my soap box. How easy would it be for you to make final arrangements for your wife if you were in China? How easy will it be for her to do it here? So, as I am fond of check lists let see how nice you guys are.

 

1. Have you taken her in for a PAP smear yet? ( a repeat idea)

 

2. Have you taken her to the dentist?

 

3. Have you made a will since you got married?

 

4. Have you made your final arrangements and showed her where they and your documents that allow her to pull the plug are.

 

5. Have you explained this to a good friend as well so he will know what is happening.

 

6. Do you have your friends and relatives phone numbers posted where she can find them easily.

 

 

Remember, if you really love her, you will make her life as easy as possible. You have aquired a wife, not a puppy. Do what is right.

 

(I had a good friend my age drop dead of a heart attack last week. I will miss him and his stories of flying military and commercial. Please excuse me if I am morbid.)

[se_lang]

The recent topic about death in China has made me get back on my soap box.  How easy would it be for you to make final arrangements for your wife if you were in China?  How easy will it be for her to do it here? So, as I am fond of check lists let see how nice you guys are.

 

1. Have you taken her in for a PAP smear yet?  ( a repeat idea)

 

2. Have you taken her to the dentist?

 

3. Have you made a will since you got married?

 

4. Have you made your final arrangements and showed her where they and your documents that allow her to pull  the plug are.

 

5. Have you explained this to a good friend as well so he will know what is happening.

 

6. Do you have your friends and relatives phone numbers posted where she can find them easily.

 

 

Remember, if you really love her, you will make her life as easy as possible. You have aquired a wife, not a puppy.  Do what is right.

 

(I had a good friend my age drop dead of a heart attack last week. I will miss him and his stories of flying military and commercial. Please excuse me if I am morbid.)

This is a great idea I think maybe something the women on this board should tell us men the things that she will need to do/know I know I have already told my MM she will get medical care an checks cause she refuses to see a Dr there in China unless she is sick. So lets get a good list going.

[Jun]

cause she refuses to see a Dr there in China unless she is sick.

errrr...hmmm....actually....me too.....

or worse...even if I'm sick, I still refuse to see the Dr coz I DON'T believe those Drs at all. especially those dentists!!!

[Jeikun]

I've already named Jun as my beneficiary on my life insurance policy. Dental exam is #1 priority when she gets here (sorry honey ). The will etc will be done after we're together.

 

Oh... and if you ask Jun a puppy would be a bad comparison, because dogs are family members too She will be bringing Mily with her. Luckily she won't need a visa I'm suprised the USCIS doesn't want to do a name check to make sure Mily hasn't violated some puppy visas - or been in the Canine communist party...

[hypoclear]

I've already named Jun as my beneficiary on my life insurance policy.  Dental exam is #1 priority when she gets here (sorry honey ).  The will etc will be done after we're together.

 

Oh... and if you ask Jun a puppy would be a bad comparison, because dogs are family members too   She will be bringing Mily with her.  Luckily she won't need a visa   I'm suprised the USCIS doesn't want to do a name check to make sure Mily hasn't violated some puppy visas - or been in the Canine communist party...

I am happy for you both..

 

But sad to say i fear we will have trouble bringing our cat tucker with us.

 

We have been training him almost daily since he was given to us by Bea's mom over 1 year ago. try as we can, when ever asked he says "Mao. or some times Maaaaaaaaaaao.. sigh We have told him inurmerable times he need not speak, but unfortunately when the local people see him with us they all shout "Mao Mao!"

 

Please!!!.. he was young and un thinking, he didn't know it was a commie club.

 

Our only recourse is to hope and pray he has a bad cold when we bring him over and he can not speak.

 

Awww we are heart broken.. booo hoo

 

Mark and Bea

[Robert S.]

Oh... and if you ask Jun a puppy would be a bad comparison, because dogs are family members too   She will be bringing Mily with her.  Luckily she won't need a visa   I'm suprised the USCIS doesn't want to do a name check to make sure Mily hasn't violated some puppy visas - or been in the Canine communist party...

You have done the research to make sure this is all right? It probably is not easy. Might need your immigration lawyer to look into it. I'm not kidding. I would not be surprised if this is really difficult.

[jkobman]

Good list - does anyone else have anything to add?

[skibum]

Getting them to the DDS may be a real problem as my wife was very concerned about the HIV angle. I assured her that all impliments that went in her mouth would be new. This is not always the case in China.

[Jeikun]

Oh... and if you ask Jun a puppy would be a bad comparison, because dogs are family members too  She will be bringing Mily with her.  Luckily she won't need a visa  I'm suprised the USCIS doesn't want to do a name check to make sure Mily hasn't violated some puppy visas - or been in the Canine communist party...

You have done the research to make sure this is all right? It probably is not easy. Might need your immigration lawyer to look into it. I'm not kidding. I would not be surprised if this is really difficult.

The US requires a recent health certificate to show the dog has no illnesses, and usually requires no quarentine. United will allow a small dog as carry-on for $300.

[Dave G.]

Skibum,

 

This is one of the greatest posts on CFL I've ever read! Good for you that you posted it and made us all think. Ironically, it's perfect timing for Jing Mei and me.

 

Of all the ideas you've posted, I've covered everything except for phone numbers. I'll take care of that this weekend. Thanks for the ideas. For what it's worth, we should also give our loved ones internet sites, logon screen names and passwords so they can access banking info and the such.

 

Truth be told, I finally convinced my wife to see a denist this week. Since she doesn't read CFL, I can tell her story. Her breath got SO bad that kissing her became a nightmare. I thought it had to do with all the spicy food we eat. But no...it was much more.

 

I had a dentist who was masterful...but he had the bedside manner of a cockroach and charged an arm and a leg. JM wanted to wait to see a DDS until she went back to China. I put my foot down! We finally agreed to dump my guy and we found a Taiwan DDS here in town. Long story short: She loved the guy. He taught her about oral care (don't be gross) which she never learned before. JM has gum disease out the wazoo, a rotten tooth that can't be saved, and four teeth that need crowns. My step-son? A B+ examination. Of course, I got a clean bill of health.

 

Seems that that bad breath had to do with the rotten tooth and gum problems. JM's total oral care will cost about $3k. Well worth it, knowing that all will be fixed. She's thrilled. And, her little, dirty secret? She has a perfect smile....God, I love her smile. But, all her upper and lower teeth are capped. Seems that when she as a child, China gave tons of tetracycline to children which turned their teeth gray. Nothing they can do about it now. Next year, we'll re-cap her teeth so she can have a white smile. Damn...she'll be even more perfect. For me, I'll keep bleaching. Same difference.

[ndjarrett]

How about lawyer & accountant phone #s? Basically, any and every phone number needed for insurance & money should be in one easy place for her (same thing my mother & her husband have provided to me).

 

The 1st things my fiance will do, after we are married and I can put her on my insruance, is visit a doctor for a full medical exam (I don't trust the care she gets now), and a visit to the dentist, and a visit to the eye doctor.

 

About the Will/Final Arrangements thing...I had mentioned this to Yaya before. And she was SHOCKED that I would think about being dead so soon. Just be cautious broaching this subject. Because not only do I need to decide what will happen to me, who will get what, and where & how I will be buried. But, the same Qs are also true for her. But she was so shocked by my thinking of this and said "Chinese never discuss such things". LOL. But she is thinking now.

[skibum]

A call to your life ins company will net you the number that she needs to call to file a claim. I have listed these numbers as well as our financial advisors number.

I keep enough money in our joint checking so she will have enough money to operate on until the other stuff comes in. She has her own credit card so that will help.

I am glad so many are taking this to heart. A good group of people here on Candle!

[Robert S.]

It is great they way all you guys are doing things so very well and right. Down here in Alabama I am just kind of winging it though she does have the phone numbers.

 

When I first met her we were both overseas in Abu Dhabi. She needed dental work for a rotten molar. My contract was ending in a couple of weeks and we were going to her home in China. I made her promise she would go to the dentist when we got there.

 

The very first morning in Dalian I was an implacable force reminding her of what she had promised. She made a phone call and we took a taxi downtown to the dental clinic. They looked at her and told us how much it would be. Ping-ping was afraid, of course, even though she is like a kung-fu lady in everything else (like the time she climbed a tree to cut a limb), of course she was afraid of the pain of dental work. She put her hands together, shaking them toward me saying "chu chu" and begged me to relent, but I gave her "chu chu" right back begging her to do the right thing.

 

I went down to the bench at far end of the long room leaving Ping in the first chair. I did not see when they gave the novocaine but I was assuming they must have because no one would be able to withstand the pain of the hammer and chisel (bonk, bonk, I heard from 75 feet away) and huge forceps which they used to extract five black rotten roots out of her jaw. She took pain medication for a couple of days, her breath turned fresh as a flower and I was proud of myself for my exertion of moral authority.

 

Skibum, DaveG and ndjarrett you are doing an admirable task to have everything all squared away like that.

[Jim - Portland, USA]

The recent topic about death in China has made me get back on my soap box.  How easy would it be for you to make final arrangements for your wife if you were in China?  How easy will it be for her to do it here? So, as I am fond of check lists let see how nice you guys are.

 

1. Have you taken her in for a PAP smear yet?  ( a repeat idea)

 

2. Have you taken her to the dentist?

 

3. Have you made a will since you got married?

 

4. Have you made your final arrangements and showed her where they and your documents that allow her to pull  the plug are.

 

5. Have you explained this to a good friend as well so he will know what is happening.

 

6. Do you have your friends and relatives phone numbers posted where she can find them easily.

 

 

Remember, if you really love her, you will make her life as easy as possible. You have aquired a wife, not a puppy.  Do what is right.

 

(I had a good friend my age drop dead of a heart attack last week. I will miss him and his stories of flying military and commercial. Please excuse me if I am morbid.)

Have I done any of these things yet? No ... I'm still concentrating on getting her here first!!! My top priority for now is just getting her in my arms, then all this other fun stuff can follow (taking her in for a PAP smear, etc). Oh what a dreeeeeaamm ... being able to take my honey by the hand and take her to a doctor's office ... I DREAM OF BEING ABLE TO DO THAT ONE DAY!!!!!!

 

About the dentist, we've already talked about that ... we both think it's best for her to go to the dentist now while she is in China, much cheaper there!! When she comes here, I can put her on my work's health insurance, but I think it takes awhile for it to kick in? So I told her to go to a dentist now for a cleaning, only about $10, so cheap over there!

[Jim - Portland, USA]

... to extract five black rotten roots out of her jaw.

I'm going to faint ....