Wife retired now needs yearly check in.

[Dan777]

Is there a way to insert a document here? The one she got is different. Since my Chinese is a big zero I don't know what it says.

[Dan777]

There it is - I see it now

 

Under "公证认证申请表 [/size]/ Application Forms for Notarization and Authentication"[/size]

 

在境外居住人员领取养老金资格审核表 => "In the overseas residents to receive pension qualification audit form

 

 

http://www.chinaconsulatesf.org/chn/qianzhen/gzrz/P020150701222905235039.pdf

Thanks, wife says this is older form and thinks she has new form. She is now trying to talk me into going to New York to the Chinese Consolute next week. I may do this.

[eseum]

My wife is in Chongqing right now. She will be filing papers for retirement while she is there. She is not eligible to collect yet but she wanted to file so that she doesn't have to worry about new changes that might go into effect. She has said that she will need to report to a consulate every year here in the U.S. to show that she is still alive. That will mean in LA for us since it is closest.

 

I have explained several times about SS that she will be able to get along with her eligibility for half my pension when I die. Tried to convince her that should be more than adequate. But god bless her she just can't stand to leave any money on the table.

 

I think she probably will get enough each year for plane tickets to somewhere, so hey, it is all good.

[Dan777]

My wife is in Chongqing right now. She will be filing papers for retirement while she is there. She is not eligible to collect yet but she wanted to file so that she doesn't have to worry about new changes that might go into effect. She has said that she will need to report to a consulate every year here in the U.S. to show that she is still alive. That will mean in LA for us since it is closest.

 

I have explained several times about SS that she will be able to get along with her eligibility for half my pension when I die. Tried to convince her that should be more than adequate. But god bless her she just can't stand to leave any money on the table.

 

I think she probably will get enough each year for plane tickets to somewhere, so hey, it is all good.

Thanks for that! Wife kept putting off me buying airfare so now the price is too high. She says ticket prices go down the closer the date. I think she only flew once or twice before she met me. She wants to take a Chinese bus her friends told her about except they said they don't stop in my town when I called. Very typical trying to make a trip. She wants to make the call for any money spent. So what a hassle!

[Dan777]

Is there a way to insert a document here? The one she got is different. Since my Chinese is a big zero I don't know what it says.

Thank you everyone! We went to New York from Tennessee and got the paperwork at the Chinese consulate. When she starts yelling at me and tells me I need to do something and I have no idea what she is talking about you guys always help. If any one is going to do this, expect a block long line and every single person trying to go first not wanting to wait in line. After more than an hour outside it is more than an hour in another line then waiting for your number called then waiting for it to be notorized. I met four other couples doing the same thing. They did not ask for ID to get in, just go through a scanner. It took 3 hours or so. A lady told my wife she had 30 days to get the paper to China or she has to go though the process again. First time to New York and I will spare you guys detail of my trip so far and marital bliss.

[MikeandRong]

 

My wife is in Chongqing right now. She will be filing papers for retirement while she is there. She is not eligible to collect yet but she wanted to file so that she doesn't have to worry about new changes that might go into effect. She has said that she will need to report to a consulate every year here in the U.S. to show that she is still alive. That will mean in LA for us since it is closest.

 

I have explained several times about SS that she will be able to get along with her eligibility for half my pension when I die. Tried to convince her that should be more than adequate. But god bless her she just can't stand to leave any money on the table.

 

I think she probably will get enough each year for plane tickets to somewhere, so hey, it is all good.

Thanks for that! Wife kept putting off me buying airfare so now the price is too high. She says ticket prices go down the closer the date. I think she only flew once or twice before she met me. She wants to take a Chinese bus her friends told her about except they said they don't stop in my town when I called. Very typical trying to make a trip. She wants to make the call for any money spent. So what a hassle!

Dan, your wife is absolutely correct about the closer to fly date the cheaper it becomes. However, that is in China not here. First couple of times it drove me crazy waiting to the last minute. Here in the states when they want to fly last minute they use a site called ctrip.com and it appears they have some really good deals. But for some reason they ask for your passport number to book a flight. It's all good though, normal carriers and in Chinese to boot.

[Dan777]

At least I know now. Now I am thinking I need therapy to learn how to live with her. It seems to get worse each year instead of better. I am getting tired of her putting me down all day and telling me she is angry because I don't do what she says all day.

[tsap seui]

Dan, you don't need no stinkin' therapy. You need to meditate and chant.

 

In Australasia they call the wife SWMBO (she who must be obeyed).

 

I often sit crossed legged with the thumb and index finger of each hand together in a circle. I close my eyes amidst wisps of smoke from sage, saffron, and Mary Jane wafting throughout the room as I chant over and over again....She who must be obeyed...OMMM....She who must be obeyed...OMMM...She who must be obeyed...OMMM

 

When I get those awful uppity thoughts that I may actually be in control of my life...I just stop, find a place to meditate and chant. I am almost completely free of thoughts that I am in charge, and I've pretty much forgotten what it was like to own my own companies and be in charge of employees I find it is much easier to let SWMBO do the thinkin' for me.I also find I make much fewer mistakes when I do as I'm told, too. It is a win win once ya get used to it.

 

You can have a very happy life, man. Stop fighting the inevitable just let go and do as yer told, you'll be amazed at the newfound tranquility.

[MikeandRong]

I'm no therapist Dan, but from what you are saying it sounds like your wife is very frustrated at the language gap you both have. It comes off as angry to your ears, but I'm sure she is just as frustrated with her own inability to express herself with the lack of English vocabulary.

 

We don't know your community or living conditions, or even the smaller details which sometimes matter quite a bit. Thus it is hard to blindly offer advice, but I'll give it a try.

 

If your wife is not working or maybe not having a drivers license, then she is most likely stuck home all day while your at work. Things aren't as easy for her as she thought it would be before leaving China to move here. Any friends she may talk to are also Chinese so there is zero chance to speak and practice English. Unless a person is in an environment where you can talk and lister constantly, they just aren't going to pick up any language. She will pick up some words from you just as you will from her, but that's it, basically young child simple words, certainaly not conversation talk.

 

If she was in China she could handle most anything that came up. Start a business, make appointments, doctors, buying a house, research something, etc... but here she is hamstrung and totally frustrated because of it. You my friend are the outlet of all the pent up emotions.

 

Has nothing to do with you being a great guy or provider. Has much more to do with her feeling of not being enabled and empowered.

 

By now you should know the things that make her comfortable and secure. Start off small and anticipate what she expects of/from you, and just do it. Don't do it because you are looking for a thank you or reciprocity. Do it because you know thst is what she was hoping/wanting you to do for her. It may suck, it may make no sense, maybe hard, but all that matters is your wife is looking for you to do it. Do it before she has to ask or tell you and at some point down the road you'll be the most proud husband because she will show you appreciation in her own way, that I can promise you.

 

Maybe you can find some ESL Chinese picture books cheap online. They are nice in that they show you everyday useful words and sentences, along with the pictures. Example: the food store, going to the bank or doctor, driving, etc. The important part is it is in English, Chinese, and Pinion, and they keep it easy. Also pick up a pocket English/Chinese dictionary, it's invaluable for the times when 1 word is hanging up what either of you are trying to say or understand.

 

Hang in there, it's worth it. Think how tough it would be for you if you were in her shoes, having up and moved to her city and living there. As hard as your trying and as frustrated and dejected you are feeling it's nothing compared to how she is feeling.

 

Best wishes,

 

Zai jian.

Edited May 6, 2017 by MikeandRong (see edit history)

[eseum]

My wife gets back from Chongqing the end of this week. She has been to the place for filing for retirement 4 times and finally seems satisfied that everything is right. She went back over her work history with a couple of places she worked at, and then presented them to the retirement center to correct records. She will have her "sister" do one more thing for her after she leaves China. Hopefully it will be worth it for her.

 

 

[Dan777]

Dan, you don't need no stinkin' therapy. You need to meditate and chant.

 

In Australasia they call the wife SWMBO (she who must be obeyed).

 

I often sit crossed legged with the thumb and index finger of each hand together in a circle. I close my eyes amidst wisps of smoke from sage, saffron, and Mary Jane wafting throughout the room as I chant over and over again....She who must be obeyed...OMMM....She who must be obeyed...OMMM...She who must be obeyed...OMMM

 

When I get those awful uppity thoughts that I may actually be in control of my life...I just stop, find a place to meditate and chant. I am almost completely free of thoughts that I am in charge, and I've pretty much forgotten what it was like to own my own companies and be in charge of employees I find it is much easier to let SWMBO do the thinkin' for me.I also find I make much fewer mistakes when I do as I'm told, too. It is a win win once ya get used to it.

 

You can have a very happy life, man. Stop fighting the inevitable just let go and do as yer told, you'll be amazed at the newfound tranquility.

 

That was funny. I'll try it!

[Dan777]

I'm no therapist Dan, but from what you are saying it sounds like your wife is very frustrated at the language gap you both have. It comes off as angry to your ears, but I'm sure she is just as frustrated with her own inability to express herself with the lack of English vocabulary.

 

We don't know your community or living conditions, or even the smaller details which sometimes matter quite a bit. Thus it is hard to blindly offer advice, but I'll give it a try.

 

If your wife is not working or maybe not having a drivers license, then she is most likely stuck home all day while your at work. Things aren't as easy for her as she thought it would be before leaving China to move here. Any friends she may talk to are also Chinese so there is zero chance to speak and practice English. Unless a person is in an environment where you can talk and lister constantly, they just aren't going to pick up any language. She will pick up some words from you just as you will from her, but that's it, basically young child simple words, certainaly not conversation talk.

 

If she was in China she could handle most anything that came up. Start a business, make appointments, doctors, buying a house, research something, etc... but here she is hamstrung and totally frustrated because of it. You my friend are the outlet of all the pent up emotions.

 

Has nothing to do with you being a great guy or provider. Has much more to do with her feeling of not being enabled and empowered.

 

By now you should know the things that make her comfortable and secure. Start off small and anticipate what she expects of/from you, and just do it. Don't do it because you are looking for a thank you or reciprocity. Do it because you know thst is what she was hoping/wanting you to do for her. It may suck, it may make no sense, maybe hard, but all that matters is your wife is looking for you to do it. Do it before she has to ask or tell you and at some point down the road you'll be the most proud husband because she will show you appreciation in her own way, that I can promise you.

 

Maybe you can find some ESL Chinese picture books cheap online. They are nice in that they show you everyday useful words and sentences, along with the pictures. Example: the food store, going to the bank or doctor, driving, etc. The important part is it is in English, Chinese, and Pinion, and they keep it easy. Also pick up a pocket English/Chinese dictionary, it's invaluable for the times when 1 word is hanging up what either of you are trying to say or understand.

 

Hang in there, it's worth it. Think how tough it would be for you if you were in her shoes, having up and moved to her city and living there. As hard as your trying and as frustrated and dejected you are feeling it's nothing compared to how she is feeling.

 

Best wishes,

 

Zai jian.

 

 

After coming back from a three day trip with her it is better. Really difficult at times. You are correct about a lot of stuff. She wants me to live in China for a while to see what it is like, and then laughs when she is talking about it. I think her having a job would help except she already quit two jobs she had. When she started yelling at me that I was supposed to help with this problem, that is when I posted here. I took her to New York and got the form. We took a long uncomfortable (but very cheap) bus ride there and back. I thought at 65 maybe I might be flying first class instead of on a bus (98% Chinese). After all of that and getting the correct paperwork standing outside in the cold wind and inside for over 3 hours, she informs me it is no big deal and she does not need the paperwork and will go to China next year to check in. Her latest is she found another turtle (forth one, I talked her into giving one away and the other two back to the park). She talks to it and brings it in the house at night in a box and covers it up and is constantly worried about it. I don't think the turtle is eating or drinking water but not much I can do or say to her. All I can say is I do try but it does not seem like anything changes.

[chilton747]

Cuzin tsap and Mike had some wisdom for you.Me? I have been thru the turtle experience.

[amberjack1234]

Cuzin tsap and Mike had some wisdom for you.Me? I have been thru the turtle experience.

Brother Charles is right. That is why at my age I had to get a much younger one that was well educated and spoke english as well as I did otherwise I don't think that we would have had a chance. However many criticized me for robing the cradle. I didn't care. We have had almost 18 years now and it gets better every year.

 

But it has worked for many here like brother Ronny and brother Roger although Roger's wife stays in China about 6 months a year :lol: . I think he likes it that way. :whistling: Each of us and them are different in the end.

[Dan777]

Cuzin tsap and Mike had some wisdom for you.Me? I have been thru the turtle experience.

 

What do they eat? As far as I know it has not eaten in weeks. I bought apples today because I saw a video of a turtle eating apples. She said it did not eat the apple. I think she tried meat last week. She was outside and saw the turtle and said it was fate that she saw the turtle. I guess maybe they are lucky or something. My luck has not changed since she got it. This one is fairly big, bigger than my hand by a ways. She has found small ones and was given a fairly big one once. She loves turtles but absolutely hates dogs and cats. I gave my small dog away to a friend because of the way she treated it when she first got here. She is afraid of big dogs and all cats. She swears she will give me dog to eat next time we go to china without telling me. She has done that with deer meat before and bought me worms to eat because of how I thought it was strange to eat worms.