Marry or Fiancee Visa?

[thelocaldialect]

"keep in mind that China is not cheap anymore."

 

You are so correct on that statement. Wife and some of her girlfriends back in China discuss prices all the time. When she tells me what some of the costs are now, I am floored. Then again back in the 2004-2007 era there were times I thought we were getting the deal of the century. It's hard to fathom that the wages have kept up with the inflation at the same pace. Sure there are still deals to be had, but certainly not around every corner as it once was.

 

Wages have, for the most part, not kept up with inflation. But it is a lot more common to see Chinese folk pulling in 10k+ rmb a month than it was 15 years ago. Expat salaries, on the other hand, have hardly risen at all. If anyone worked in China in the early 2000s, remember when, if you told a Chinese person you were making 5000rmb a month they'd gush about how high that salary was? No longer! Heck, about 5 years ago I was getting the old salary grilling from a taxi driver in Beijing and told him I was making "over 10k" (it was actually over 15k, but I didn't want to appear a showoff ...) and he just sort of nodded his head and said "eh, that's decent" ... sure showed me! Where I work (in China) we have issues because brand new Chinese graduates expect 10k+ rmb a month and easy peasy jobs where they can surf the net and play on WeChat all day. They won't even get out of bed for what I was making when I graduated.

[Darling]

I'm surprised this topic is still alive. My girl friend has been back in touch with me again. She said she was mislead on many things like myself about on line International dating. She wants me to meet her and get a better handle on us. I know its not like meeting for coffee here at the local Starbucks.We have never met but I did start having strong feelings for her when we where online together. What to do? My friends have encouraged me to go there and meet her. They said Columbus took the chance. But he had 2 other ships along with him.

I just wonder what are some of variables I should be looking out for.

[dnoblett]

Consider it a vacation, one time I scheduled a tour for two in China. Best case you do make a connection, worse case you get a nice vacation with a travel companion.

[Allon]

Don't let China intimidate you. It's a great place, the people are really friendly for the most part, and try and get some real Chinese food. (Their pizza attempt is horrible. Pasta is not made from bao zi dough.) If you are offered zao zi (dumplings) or bao zi (steamed buns), you are considered a special guest. Learn how to do chopsticks, but many Chinese understand the use of forks. Most of the time they just want to see if you can do it.

 

Remember gambei (or ganbei) is bottom's up and you better be man enough to finish it. "Cheers" is exactly that, Cheers.

 

If you go to someone's house, always bring a gift, one that is round preferably. Does not have to be expensive. Oranges. Never pears or umbrellas. The Chinese are very superstitious about homonyms that, though spelled the same, mean different things like death or "severing." Shi, for instance is the number 4 and also means death. There are 43 different meanings of shi.

 

Just smile and don't drink the tap water. Good, hot tea is the best in the world but pricey in some places. They do have Starbucks by the way. I am sure one is near you.

 

And for God's sake if you take a taxi, put on a Kevlar suit to protect your vitals. They drive crazy over there.

[Greg.D.]

Nobody (here) really knows you and whether you are being taken for a ride or you are really just a nice guy who met a nice gal. Whether you have children, decent income (to absorb another into the household), etc.

 

And, who is she that she is apparently an English speaker who is near 40 +/- and is looking around on a foreign dating site? I genuinely do not have an opinion as there are too many unknowns.

 

Like other people here, I do believe everybody needs a vacation and everybody needs to go to China sometime in his/her life. So, you won't lose much, just travel costs. Even if I was talking to you in person, I would want to know if she is a big city resident or rural; and I would want to know the same about you. How did you get interested in an overseas dating website? At what level of detail do you want the cultural differences explained to you?

 

As Dennis has said before, he knows plenty of foreign-born women in his California community who are single and who already know if living in the U.S. and marrying an American is for them. There is probably something special about the woman you have met since she is interested in another life overseas - and she, in her practical way, knows you will die first and she will still have to take care of herself later ... probably going back to China. This all makes sense. Just be very forthright about your financial situation and outlook during this trip, or you will live with great pressure the whole time if you go forward.

[Thomas Promise]

It would be so wonderful to meet her and you guys get married and have marriage made in heaven. Marriages made in heaven have variables also. Heaven produces wind, rain, thunderstorms and hail. You will never achieve perfection with anyone. However you can go for excellence but your partner must have the same goal. Like Dan said you can go to China and have trip of lifetime. If it feels right go for it. If not don't tell her that things wouldn't work out between you. Wait till your back in the USA to tell her this. I know this sounds cowardly but she may feel you just used her to see China and other fringe bennys and your piece of heaven may turn into hell for you.

There are no guarantees in life only opportunity. Its up to you to decide which one to take. Good luck to you.

[Darling]

Hello. My girlfriend and myself have made tentative plans to meet for China's National Day. I will be flying into Shenyang, China will she will meet me there and then drive to her city of Dandong. Her city can not accommodate commercial airline. We will have a drive of about 160 miles after we meet in Shenyang. She does not own a car but her good friend will let her borrow her car.

Has anyone flied to Shenyang and been to Dandong? He has assured me there are many activities to do in and around her city. I plan on staying there for 3 weeks,

Thank you for the advice that has been given to me.

[dnoblett]

Hello. My girlfriend and myself have made tentative plans to meet for China's National Day. I will be flying into Shenyang, China will she will meet me there and then drive to her city of Dandong. Her city can not accommodate commercial airline. We will have a drive of about 160 miles after we meet in Shenyang. She does not own a car but her good friend will let her borrow her car.

Has anyone flied to Shenyang and been to Dandong? He has assured me there are many activities to do in and around her city. I plan on staying there for 3 weeks,

Thank you for the advice that has been given to me.

From what I see, the area is quite scenic, so perhaps some hikes, into the scenic areas.

 

But with three weeks you could also see about taking a short tour to other areas such as Beijing, and Xi'an.

 

I have used China Highlights before to do some touring, they are fairly reasonable, and the company is local to China so they do know how to handle the details.

 

https://www.chinahighlights.com/tour/create-my-trip.htm

 

The "golden triangle" may be good, (Beijing, Xi'an, Shanghai, 8 days) http://www.chinahighlights.com/tour/cht-1/

[Randy W]

Several airlines fly into Dandong from LAX, but how you arrange the trip is between the two of you

 

 

https://www.google.com/flights/#search;f=LAX;t=DDG;d=2017-07-12;r=2017-07-16;q=los+angeles+dandong

[Thomas Promise]

If there are flights to Dandong you would be much better off flying there in stead of driving You would be facing a 4 hour drive to and from. After a long flight like this your really going to be exhausted. You may wished to book a r/t from your city here in the US like to Beijing or Shanghai if Shenyang does not offer a flight there. Then book another flight to Dandong from Beijing.You will more then likely get a better flight and save a few bucks. You just have to make sure of the timing.

Here is a link for you to study on Chinese flights in China.

 

http://english.ctrip.com/chinaflights/Beijing-to-Dandong/tickets-bjs-ddg/?flighttype=d&startdate=2017-07-05&returndate=2017-07-31&dcity=bjs&acity=ddg&relddate=13&relrdate=39&startday=wed&returnday=mon&relweek=1&Quantity=1&ChildQty=0&BabyQty=0&searchboxArg=t

[Greg.D.]

Not saying this because I am a contrarian - though I am one - on the <contrary> - trying to help you get off on the right foot by recommending you do as she says: let her pick you up and drive you back to her town.

 

It will be awkward no matter how you do this: how you spend the first night. Others can give advice.

 

I already knew my wife from work and then we spent every day for 6 months face timing and we were still a little shy about sharing a hotel room the first night in Beijing (a huge city where you can be anonymous).

 

Plenty of time to make and change your plans.

[Darling]

I checked on flights to Dandong from my city. They are available but the flights are 61 hours with long lay overs with the return trip almost as bad. I going to check on what Thomas said doing. Fly into a major city like Shanghai then book a flight from there to Dandong.

Has anyone ever been or know of a person who has been to Dandong?

When we meet she wishes for me to stay at her home. Then travel to some other cities. Maybe go to North Korea.

[dnoblett]

With the political climate, I would probably stay away from North Korea.

[MikeandRong]

With the political climate, I would probably stay away from North Korea.

Ditto.

[Thomas Promise]

With the political climate, I would probably stay away from North Korea.

A student from city was arrested there for taking a propaganda pamphlet and was sentenced to 15 year of hard labor for the offense.He was released by NK only to die after he came back home with brain damage the other day. No Korea is very hostile to Americans.