Hello from Catherineli at Tulsa

[Catherineli]

Hello Everyone!

It's been almost three months since I arrived in the Freeland. I've never forgotten our favorite CFL. I've been always grateful for those who helped me with different aspects. Hello AmberJack! Hello Randy! Hello Joecy! Ruby! Tsap! Tom! Danb! Doug! Credzba! Scott! Dnoblett! DocMartin817! Warpedbored! Bigguy! There are still many of you that I may miss out the names but I'm genuinely saying hello to all of you with my big hugs!

There are many challenges for new arrivals as you know. I still don't understand everything people say in English. I still can't drive very well and I don't know the street names. I need time before I'm comfortable. In order to immerse myself in the English environment I become an active church memeber as soon as I arrived. So I got lots of help from the local people. I do love those whom God put into my life!

About jobs, I didn't hurry myself becasue of my own safety. I must stay safe before I'm "activated". Some people provided me some news about TCC or ORU about Chinese programs there. It sounds good but I found some local Chinese people are not very friendly to me. Maybe they don't like me to be their rival grabbing their jobs. I'm living by YMCA so I applied a job to YMCA. They like me as soon as I played with the children at YMCA. I know I won't be paid a lot but YMCA will be a bridge to carry me across the "river". I want to quickly "grow up" so I also joined in a CNA class where I studied everyday in the classroom. I learned how to save people through CPR. I also learned to take care of patients. I got a bunch of new friends from the CNA class. Meanwhile my English is also refined. It's much more beneficial than ESL class. Surely I won't be a CNA worker. I just can't.

This is the present me. So much for my report! Have a good day, everyone!

 

Best wishes,

Catherine

 

[Thomas Promise]

We all miss your posts on here at CFL and Facebook. A journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step.Good luck to you here in the USA!

[Catherineli]

I know I'm absent from facebook but I've been careful in the new world. I'm a real spring chicken. I feel there is too much personal information on facebook. so I stopped. Occasionally I go to check the facebook. Oh, Dennis, I missed your name here! Please say hi to Xia for me, Tom.

[Greg.D.]

Hi Catherine,

Good to hear from you. I like your careful strategy. I understand you when you say some Chinese people here are not kind to you - they ask many questions just so they can gossip about you later. Great that you could do some work at the YMCA. Nice place.

 

I am in Denver. If you are making a trip to Denver Colorado please contact me!

Greg

[Randy W]

Hello, Catherineli at Tulsa. Yes, please do come by more often

[DocMartin817]

Hi Catherine,

CNA training is a good thing to start with. Liwen did that when she first got here and actually worked at a residential facility for a short time. We later opened a foster home for adults with intellectual disabilities that she ran and having the CNA experience made it easier to get licensed to do that. She is now in her third job - business manager for my small company where she is pretty much her own boss. But like you re doing, she took her time, gained experiences and more fluency with English and more comfort with American culture. So keep up the slow transition and I am sure you will find the work that suits your needs.

[tsap seui]

Well hello Catherine belle, looks like you made it to the heartland...meet any glorious hillbilly rednecks?

 

It's great to see you post again. Just the other day it dawned on me we haven't heard lately from any of our Chinese ladies, and I had thought to make a post asking about you, and the other Chinese ladies who liven up Candle with your insight and questions.

 

Your words about Chinese women already in America not being so nice to you mirrors exactly what my wife has seen and still sees. To be blunt about it I must say, what I have seen through my own wife's eyes are that for the most part...they are RUDE, CONDESCENDING, and MANIPULATIVE...along with BRAGGARTS (most often falsely with no real truth or substance) and they love STEPPING on and LOOKING DOWN their noses at newer Chinese women in their circle. Sort of like, how can I cut you down, use you for my purposes, what can you do for me, Bitch, all with an attitude of "you are too lowly of a piece of shit for me to even talk to" !!!

 

Sorry folks, that is what my wife has encountered for the most part and SORRY, while I could say it another more straight forward way, I can't think of a nicer or more pleasant or factual way to put it. It is what it is, neither one of us made it that way.

 

In my eyes, life is tough for a Chinese woman new to America. I was shocked to see how Chinese women who have been in America treat their own culture. Wenyan has been lucky to ever have one honest answer to even the simplest question she asked. She has gotten more downright lies and mis-direction from Chinese women than even the damn politicians in Washington, DC spout out.

 

I used to think, and long ago something similar was posted on Candle, that the first questions and comments a Chinese woman in America for any amount of time ever asked a new to America Chinese woman were along this line...."My husband makes X amount of dollars, our home cost X amount of dollars, and we have 3 brand new Mercedes cars...How much money does your husband make, how big is your house, how many new cars do you have....are they Mercedes or BMW's?" Boy, you talk about jealousy and one up man ship.

 

Again, I was shocked to see this for my wife, here she was alone and afraid in a new country, and what kind of crap are these women who could just as easily have helped a newcomer, and who had to go through this gauntlet when they first came to America, what kind of insane stupid, kindergarten, childish, I am better than you crap are these women handing out. And good Lord help you if you ever made the gross mistake of mentioning anything good that you had. For Wenyan's part, I can testify to you that not 2 Chinese women living in America, or in China for that matter, even know of Wenyan's apartments, etc etc. She doesn't play that game and lets the Chinese women roll over her.

 

I am terribly sorry to see you getting this treatment but Catherine, that seems to just be the way it is. I naively thought it would be the other way around for Chinese women new to the US. It was Wenyan who educated me to the fact that for the most part, that is just the way it was for her in China.

 

Now, with that said Catherine, Wenyan has hung on through the lies and bullshit that she has had to endure and today she has learned how to get honest answers, even pleasant answers to her questions. But, there is always that undercurrent of outright deceit and "how can I use you, or show you how much better than you that I am". Catherine, you seem to be a very nice person....it looks like some Chinese women like to EAT nice people, then spit them into the gutter. Just hang in there friend, get a tough skin, don't let the "games" people play let you down. Most of those women who treat you badly, actually have a softer and good side. It seems they have this (possibly inborn) need to run you down first though.

 

You may hurt some right now, so new to America but Catherine, you are very intelligent and you have that glorious gift that so many Chinese women have of "the spirit to succeed, no matter the odds or obstacles." And, from the very start, you have a very good command of the English language. Trust me, with your spirit and intelligence, you will do well in America. Chinese women rarely fold to pressure, at least not any that I have seen personally or through Wenyan's eyes. It simply takes time to work your way up over here. Sadly, many native born American's don't have the spirit or the drive to succeed that a Chinese woman has. Never lose your self respect, or that glorious spirit that a Chinese woman has had to develop in her life. I am awed every time I look at my wife and see the "spirit" she has. Chinese women may be small in stature but they stand 10 feet tall in spirit.

 

Those women I talked of earlier, I have seen that after they try to roll over each other (get that crap out of their system) that in time, they do soften a bit and will act more humanely to each other.

I used many laughter icons in my tirade above, there was a reason for that. While I may have come off as angry, that is not the case. Neither one of us is angry. Wenyan took all of this with here typical Chinese female stoic nature...it is but a joke among the two of us. It is what it is, nothin' more than a mere flea bit on the butt, that is unless a person let's it be more. None of the above ever slowed Wenyan down...she experienced the same and more while living in China...I just naively thought it would be different for her in America...my dumb mistake.

 

Wenyan came over to the "Freeland" in mid August 2011. She had no real English skills but with many hours of study she aced her written drivers test and now drives herself around, got a job working for an Omni Resort Hotel (soon to "retire" from that silly nowhere job that she needed to experience) and she has opened her own business of Chinese foot massage, as well as doing a great job of handling her tenants in her rental community. She still talks to many of those women who were so rude and condescending to her and they have softened into an okay relationship...they even admitted to many of their lies, and my God, they even treat her as an equal, even asking her questions now. Most folks (well you do have to give some slack to the hardcore redneck types) understand her and she gets along better and better with each passing week. I do need to move her to a larger city so she can grow and see her full potential. She is quite the entrepreneur. It has been very easy to see that she, like myself in my workin' days, were never cut out to work for others as an employee.

 

Good luck to you, Catherine, and all of the other Chinese women who post on Candle. I truly hope the best for yawl. One final thing, I know all of you have the spirit to succeed, never forget the gift you all have within yourselves. Success in life only comes from within.

 

Ronny

Edited May 21, 2015 by tsap seui (see edit history)

[amberjack1234]

Hi Catherine. Good to hear from you. Things are getting much better with me these days. Now it is Liren that is slowing things down for some reason. I am a go getter and will not wait another day to get something done if it can possibly get it done today. I guess you could say that I have a class A personality. Her attitude is let's wait and wait and wait to see what is going to happen. I was a manager for 22 years and ran two business on the side so I never waited for anything. I get it done no matter how hard or what the consequences are. But I am trying to understand that it is her way.

[Catherineli]

Hello Tom, Randy, Ronny,Martin, Amberjack and Greg!!!! How can I miss out my great teacher Greg? Greg has also helped me tremendously in Englsih. I was planning to go to Somerset Colorado to see my professional writer friend who actually motivated me to practice writing in English. I can't forget Denver Airport where I met Billy Gibbons. I didn't even know of him at the time. I'll surely stop by to see you, Greg. When will your "Chinese boss" come to you?

One Chinese woman that I met from CNA class is really a good one. She is kind and patient with me. but I have a big problem lol. I don't want help and I don't like to tell people that I need help. there are times that I trapped myself into a little mud by myself. I mean there is too much pride in me. I just don't like to bother people. I guess I have to learn to be humble.

I need to cook lunch now. Yesterday I was learning to cook "jiffy corn muffin mix" but I don't like to use oven. so I steamed it with my rice-cooker. I need to buy a steaming pot with layers inside but I failed to find one. I'm still in the process of building my home. when finished cooking the Jiffy, I tasted it. I found it dry and uncooked. Maybe because I used a paper plate as the bottom sheet to carry my muffin. I don't have the traditional Chinese steaming sheet on the layer.

Someday when I have the condition, I like to see you guys one by one. have a good day everyone!

Catherine,

PS, I always like Ronny's funny English. Later I'll share more.

[Thomas Promise]

Here is a partial lists of Chinese food and appliance stores here in the USA. The list varies a lot because guy and gals entered where the live at. This may help you. Jiffy Mix? Bu hao. Make it from scratch.

Dui bu qi. I forgot to add the link.

 

http://candleforlove.com/forums/topic/33523-chinese-food-stores-etc/

Edited May 21, 2015 by Thomas Promise (see edit history)

[amberjack1234]

Hello Tom, Randy, Ronny,Martin, Amberjack and Greg!!!! How can I miss out my great teacher Greg? Greg has also helped me tremendously in Englsih. I was planning to go to Somerset Colorado to see my professional writer friend who actually motivated me to practice writing in English. I can't forget Denver Airport where I met Billy Gibbons. I didn't even know of him at the time. I'll surely stop by to see you, Greg. When will your "Chinese boss" come to you?

One Chinese woman that I met from CNA class is really a good one. She is kind and patient with me. but I have a big problem lol. I don't want help and I don't like to tell people that I need help. there are times that I trapped myself into a little mud by myself. I mean there is too much pride in me. I just don't like to bother people. I guess I have to learn to be humble.

I need to cook lunch now. Yesterday I was learning to cook "jiffy corn muffin mix" but I don't like to use oven. so I steamed it with my rice-cooker. I need to buy a steaming pot with layers inside but I failed to find one. I'm still in the process of building my home. when finished cooking the Jiffy, I tasted it. I found it dry and uncooked. Maybe because I used a paper plate as the bottom sheet to carry my muffin. I don't have the traditional Chinese steaming sheet on the layer.

Someday when I have the condition, I like to see you guys one by one. have a good day everyone!

Catherine,

PS, I always like Ronny's funny English. Later I'll share more.

Catherine how we fixed the Jiffie Mix in the fire department was mix the dry cornbread with 2 eggs, 1/3 of a cup of milk, about a tablespoon of sugar and a half teaspoon of vanilla flavoring. Mix all these ingredients. Then we would heavily coat the pan ( cast Iron frying pan of course ) with butter/margarine. Pour the mix in the frying pan. Dab on a large tablespoon full of butter/margarine on the top of the uncooked cornbread. Don't mash it into the uncooked cornbread just let it lay there on the top in the middle and don't try to spread it out. Pop it in the pre-heated oven at 400 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown especially around the edges and you will be good to go and it won't stick to the pan. You have to do this in a cast iron pan is the secret because of the even heating of the metal.

[Catherineli]

About cooking, I do need to learn, not only American food but Chinese food. I used to cook a lot when my son was small but later I lost cooking skills. I only put milk and one egg into the Jiffy. so it tastes like eating dry sand lol without any flavors.

I like Ronny's saying, "Chinese women are small physically but ten feet tall in spirit"! I was working very hard all my life in China. Now I'm not ambitious anymore in America. I take the United States as my vacation resort. As long as I have money to buy myself food, I'll be happy!

[warpedbored]

About cooking, I do need to learn, not only American food but Chinese food. I used to cook a lot when my son was small but later I lost cooking skills. I only put milk and one egg into the Jiffy. so it tastes like eating dry sand lol without any flavors.

I like Ronny's saying, "Chinese women are small physically but ten feet tall in spirit"! I was working very hard all my life in China. Now I'm not ambitious anymore in America. I take the United States as my vacation resort. As long as I have money to buy myself food, I'll be happy!

Welcome back Yajie! I missed you. Your comment on what Ronny said reminded me of one of the most profound things my wife ever told me. She said, "in China I was tiger. Here dog or cat can eat me".

[Catherineli]

lol, I like her saying, "In China, I was a tiger. Here cat and dog can eat me." She should have used plural form denoting dogs and cats. I was "eaten" once. I had difficulites feeling people's pulse at the CNA class. Sometimes I lost the pulse while counting the pulse beating one, two, three, four----. Then a teacher, ( not the one I love very much ) judged me not being able to count numbers. This is a big insult to me. Hey, how do you guys respond to such a judgement? At the time I didn't say too much from my usual habit of being a lady. but I was truly hurt. The next day I talked to the teacher who'd been a CNA worker. I said, "I know Americans judge those who do the CNA job are good for nothing. Maybe true, because I'm good for nothing so I flew to America from China all the way just to wipe people's bottom." I went on, "but it's ridiculous for me to prove that I can count numbers." She also judged my English ability. I told her that I knew English more than she judged. I talked to her in a way, funny, tough, rough and polite. In the end she apolozgized to me. then we became friends though I still had reservations.

Today I bought a steaming pot. Who likes to eat my steamed bread, baozi, jiaozi, hand up please!

Good night everyone!

[Doug]

So good to see your posts again. We got a steamer last week. The whole kitchen cooking utensils are new now, it seems. Wife has been here a month.

 

Ronnie, I wonder if what you said about Chinese treating each other bad is why I hate to go to Beijing. It really bothers me how cold and stiff the anglos are. None will look me in the eye and want to ignore my existence. Bunch of arrogant lawyers it seems. Even in Changzhou there is this big arrogance from the British and I think they feel even the Chinese are beneath them.