Happy 15th Anniversary!!

[Catherineli]

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

May I have your attention please? I would like to be honored to invite you all to come to this party to celebrate our VIP's 15th anniversary on Nov 2nd. This thread is meant to hold an Internet party to express our genuine beautiful wishes to our Great Friend. I sing first here, "Happy Anniversary to Larry and Liren!"

 

 

 

 

Heilong Jiang is a border river between Russia and China. It’s naturally shared by the two countries. Both Chinese local people and Russian people at each riverside had been living in peace and harmony since history even during a war. Chinese people called Russian guys the “Hairy”. My favorite Chinese writer Liáng Xioshng was sent to the river together with five young men to safe guard our “Motherland” as watchmen. The patrolling job was the most boring job of all according to Liáng. Here are a couple of stories based on Liang Xiaosheng’s personal experience from his book. To let everyone laugh on Larry’s anniversary, I interpreted them in the first person to mean Liang Xiaosheng.

The Russian girls
It was a parole for us from our boredom when some Russian girls came to swim. We loved watching them swimming and we enjoyed watching their pure white body. The girls sometimes liked to laugh out loud, trying to flirt with us who were the young soldiers. As gentlemen representing People’s Republic of China, we knew that we should never have had any sensitive thought or even a look at the foreign girls. Unfortunately the Russian girls never gave up their effort to tease us. From time to time they took off all their bathing suit and put on the “Emperor’s New Clothes” to show us. Wow, their Emperor’s New Clothes were so beautiful and shining!! At first we turned our face aside or even hid ourselves behind some high grass . Then we realized that our job was to keep China safe with our eyes open large. We had to watch them closely in case they invaded our country naked. Finally we made ourselves a human wall standing up high and straight, watching them. We called this strategy “An Eye For An Eye”.
Once, when the girls were swimming, suddenly two girls cried out loudly, “help----- help------!!!!”. Following the frightening shout, we saw them being drowned. Without hesitation, without taking off our clothes, we jumped into the river. We went to rescue them! It’s basic humanism after all. Guess what? The girls swam up to the surface of the river flying us a kiss, ran away. Again they successfully made us nuts about them. The flying kiss has been a reward to us, though.

(to be continued)

[amberjack1234]

Thank you so much for all of your work and thoughtfulness. It means a lot.

 

WOW you are very creative and good with a computer. Very fast learner too. You will have very few troubles with your new life here in the US.

[Catherineli]

Happy, happy every day, Larry!!

 

Catching Sturgeon with the Russian girls together

Sturgeon was a kind of big fish who came to patronize Hei Longjiang annually. It’s well known to all by its body size and body weight. The folks from each side of Heilongjiang often had a competition for the huge fish. So that year, we made agreement that whoever happened to catch the fish would have it. One day some screaming sound pierced through the river. We saw the Russian girls fighting to seize the sturgeon, the fish. The big net was messed over the huge monster’s body that were wriggling hard around the girls’ boat. The boat was almost turned over by the great disturbance. I figured the sturgeon was over five meters long and more than four hundred lb. Obviously the girls were not fishing but being fished. They were narrowly escaping death this time. We soldiers had to help out because we were physically stronger than the girls after all. After fighting for a while, from our joint effort, we finally got the harpoon into the ray before the sting tail came lashing over to retaliate. In the end with gratitude, the girls gave us half of the fish with its head part.

 

To be continued

[Thomas Promise]

Happy Anniversary!

[Joecy]

Catherine, you are so sweet! Nice work adding everyone's picture!!

 

Wow, 15 year! rock on Larry and Liren!

[Catherineli]

Happy everyday to everyone!! Did you notice, Joecy, I put a hat over Larry's head? lol

My only purpose is to warm everyone's heart and make our forum like a family! I don't play with anyone's pic, please know.

[Catherineli]

I was taken a spy

I’d been also a movie projectionist for the local village. One winter day, I was so drunk riding a horse carrying my films and the gears. I couldn’t find the way home. I just let the horse go because I assumed the horse had the ability to remember the way. Unfortunately I slept on the horse without knowing how long until I was awakened. “Whaaaaat?----” I found myself surrounded by several Russian officers!! Obviously the horse took me a wrong direction through the frozen river. The Hairy surely questioned me from political point of view.

“Tell us what you’re doing here as a spy,” a Russian guy interpreted for me.

“你放屁！” I was using swear word to the questioner.

By now the Russian interpreter was puzzled as to how to explain my rude remark. He just translated it word for word into Russian, “You--pass---wind.”

“你放罗圈屁！” I continued abusing them being vulgar.

The translator was more hard pressed to know how to interpret my more than four letter word. He simply explained my Chinese words for his Russian officer like this, “He said, You passed a tornado wind.”

With that I saw them laughing their head off at my response to their questioning.

After they were sure that I was only a worker for panning the camera. They were relieved. They even offered me a cup of coffee and some bread plus some sausage. But the Russia

n officers asked me to put up a movie for them before they let me go, which was the request to me. I only had movies of political propaganda from China related to the international situation between Russia and China. So I did the movie “Lenin in 1918” for them. You can imagine how large they opened their mouth watching Chinese movie. I wish I had an ostrich egg to try their mouth size!

 

This is another translation from 今夜有暴风雪 by my favorite writer Liang Xiaosheng, just to bring laugh to our forum. Have a good day, everyone!

Catherine

[Sam and Fen]

Great job Cath.

 

Happy Anniversary Larry. So how did she tolerate you for 15 years.

[amberjack1234]

Sam you ole dog. She loves me so much because I am so sweet, loveable, understanding, kind, honest and a stand by his woman man.

 

Again thank you Catherine for the tribute. I know that it took you a long time to do this.

 

Larry

[Catherineli]

To close the thread of the celebration, here is the last translated story still based on Liang Xiaosheng's life.

 

In 1966 there broke out a demarcations conflict of the Sino-Soviet border called Zhenbao Island Incident. The political situation became very serious according to some newspaper propaganda. Two watchtowers were built same high crossing each other at both side of the river representing each country. Liang Xiaosheng and his fellowmen were standing on the lookout tower to watch the Russian area in case they were aggressive to China.

Bombing Russia with a paper plane
We were too bored everyday, so were the Hairy whose job was only to watch us, the soldiers, face to face. One day, one of the Hairy yelled at us loudly to motion us for cigarettes. Without hesitation I agreed to offer them our cigarettes while my other fellow soldier reminded me that the Hairy was our enemy. In the end, we worked out a compromising balance. We gave them our cigarette but we broke each cigarette into pieces. We folded a paper plane and wrapped the broken cigarettes with it before we flew it and bombed them. As soon as they received our cigarettes, the Hairy soldiers saluted us with gratitude. With that we saw them each smoking our cigarette butt happily.

 

Happy everyday to Larry and Mrs Larry! Happy each anniversary to Larry and Mrs Larry !

¿֣ǧ˳TomJoecy SamĹ٣

Edited November 3, 2014 by Catherineli (see edit history)