The difference between the chinese mother in law and american mother i

[Randy W]

There is probably a social order/ hierarchy to a Chinese family that is different than say the family structure in the USA. I have heard that when a Chinese woman marries , She is "greeted" into the husband family. The "greeting" is often not that warm. She doesn't even take her husband family name. If the husband is the first husband he might have to do a lot of kow towing to inherit the families' property. And it is also in his own self interest to keep things as status quo because if he is the first son, then won't he inherit the head of household position one day? He probably wants to honor the family traditions that have been around for generations. I was told once that the traditions of a Chinese family has changed. No longer does 3 or 4 generation live in one household. Now days the young move away from their village and set up a new family setup. A single family. Not longer a multi-generational household.

 

What happen if the husband(1 st son) dies, then what becomes of his wife? What happen if the husband(2nd son) dies, then what becomes of his wife? What happens if the wife gets a divorce how does her status change? Can that wife go back to her Mother and Father and rejoin their family? I don't know. I am guessing that what was traditional 100 years ago is probably different that how things were in the 1960's vs how things became after Deng Xiao Ping proclamation that 'to make money is glorious' and then the wide acceptance of the western world and the internet. Many things and values have change but are the core traditions still alive in China? What do you think?

 

I was playing with google translate and got two different character sets for Jia. 佳 Jia and Jiating 家庭. Can some one tell me the difference in meaning and usage? DanB

 

From the Key Chinese dictionary - http://www.cjkware.com/search(Pleco also has this adapted for their Android/iOs dictionary)

 

佳 Jia - is fine; beautiful, or distinguished

 

as in 十佳之一； shi jia zhi yi (One of the top ten)

 

家庭 Jiating - according to the Key Chinese dictionary, one of the definitions of 庭 (ting) is the front court-yard of a Chinese house..家 (jia) is home or family, so I assume that's the correct definition

 

 

If you enter "jia" as pinyin, you should get all of these possible Chinese characters

 

jiā

家/jiā 加 佳 夾/夹/jiā 嘉 迦 枷 茄 伽 珈 浹/浃 筴/䇲 袈 痂 笳 葭 㹢 傢 耞 豭 跏 鎵/镓

 

jiá

夾/夹/jiá 頰/颊 袷/夹 戛 戞/戛 頬/颊 莢/荚 郟/郏 鋏/铗 恝 蛺/蛱 跲

 

jiǎ

假/jiǎ 甲 賈/贾 胛 鉀/钾 瘕 嘏 岬 曱 斝 榎 檟/槚

 

jià

價/价 架 駕/驾 嫁 稼 假/jià 叚/假

 

jia

家/jia

[Doug]

I agree with the posts here that most mother-in-laws are good and cause no trouble, but respect instead. But, if in-laws are a problem in the marriage, it is usually the husbands mother who causes it. I've read the statistics somewhere. I can't imagine a controlling mother allowing her son to go to China to marry. I know a Chinese lady in Xian who dated a foreign man who's mother showed up to live there also. Boy did that guy abuse her feelings in favor of his mother. Don't marry a mama's boy. But then you don't want a man who hates his mother either. Just talk this over with your hubby. Let him know your fears. Hopefully Yall can meet on Skype before you come over. Heck my step-brother was all against me marrying Fen, until he met us together on Skype when I was in China once. He did a 180 after that and apologized. I've got one girl cousin who babysat me a lot when young and she is still bitter about it. We simply stopped talking to each other, her loss.