Ashamed to ask

[bamaguy_77]

Well here it is...my wife keeps wanting to have a kid, and despite not having enougjh money, my being laid off, and her not having a job, she thinks it would be the perfect time to pop out one...

 

She says we can just get government aid...welfare...wic...etc.

 

I don't agree with that whole thought process, plus I seem to recall something during the 8 years from beginning paperwork until citizenship on some form that says we agree not to apply for such aid for "x" amount of years. I told her this, now she is asking what form and how long before she can jump on the welfare train...

 

This is so stupid...

 

Does anyone know if there is a restriction on this kind of aid?

[Beachey]

If your wife became a citizen, the Affadavit of Support you signed is no longer in effect.

[Fu Lai]

Government aid is made for people in your position. You pay for it so you should use it if needed. No shame in it at all.

 

Are you both US citizens?

[Feathers268]

I think a lot will depend on what state you are in. I know that California had programs for many stages through pregnancy and young children. I don't know for sure how much the affidavat would play into it, but the way most state programs seem to work, I am willing to bet that agencies would never talk to each other and nothing would be done to try and collect.

Besides, with the number of people unemployed right now, I don't see the government spending money to investigate individual cases too closely.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

Well here it is...my wife keeps wanting to have a kid, and despite not having enougjh money, my being laid off, and her not having a job, she thinks it would be the perfect time to pop out one...

 

She says we can just get government aid...welfare...wic...etc.

 

I don't agree with that whole thought process, plus I seem to recall something during the 8 years from beginning paperwork until citizenship on some form that says we agree not to apply for such aid for "x" amount of years. I told her this, now she is asking what form and how long before she can jump on the welfare train...

 

This is so stupid...

 

Does anyone know if there is a restriction on this kind of aid?

 

Why did you raise the points about making sure you have a stable income and home, and life to your wife in the first place? If you both focus your energy on doing that first, then you won't have to seek redistributed income from the US government.

 

Once upon a time systems like welfare, food stamps, and unemployment were there to help people get by for a few weeks or months until they found another job. I think you need to get your priorities in order.

[Jonathan]

How old is your wife?

 

If she is less than 32 years old, she still has sometime left to have kids.

Usually, when they hit their 30s, they really want kids. It's their biological clock talking.

 

Either way, I sense that you're having some anxiety at the though of having kids before you think that you're ready.

It's pretty normal. Except some people tend to underestimate their readiness until they can no longer avoid it.

[Feathers268]

Zodiac might also have something to do with it. Jen mentioned that the upcoming year of the Serpent is a good sign to have a child under.

[bamaguy_77]

@Jiangsexpat: My priorities are in order, I haven't went out and started having kids..k? I have told her about the fact that things are tight...I didn't figure you needed a transcript of my discussions with her. I'm not sitting on my ass expecting a handout, I'm trying to avoid it.

 

She sees tons of people doing it, she's a citizen and wonders why we need to hold off on kids when the lady in front of us has two carts full of food and whips out that ebt card as we look at our cart and wonder do we need all of this.

 

I didn't plan to get laid off, so don't go the "get your prioities in order"route with me. I wanted to know if my "we can't take aid honey, we will have to pay it back route" was valid. Her Chinese friend had a kid, paid nothing, and has been telling my wife we could do the same.

 

I have two part time jobs, no insurance, and have started taking some classes in spare time. I suffer from Crohn's and since my layoff have lost insurance. I did not try to get medicaid, or disability. The COBRA payments were near $1000, so that was a no go. I am making due with what i have. I stopped all meds and am sucking it up.

 

While I work on "getting my priorities in order" work on getting your head out of your rear,watching your mouth, and being less of a douche.

 

 

@Everyone else:

 

Thanks for the helpful replies and sorry for my rant.

[Sam and Fen]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. We are in the same boat. I am uninsurable and can not afford those who give me insurance. Both me and my wife work 7 days a week 12 hours a day just to make ends meet.

 

I take meds for my Sugar and pay about $5 copay at Walgreens. They have some kind of program where we pay $25/year to get this co-pay. Please look into this for your meds. I see a Doctor about 2 times a year to renew my Prescription and pay about $75/visit.

 

My wife asks me exactly the same questions your wife is asking. She knows a few Chinese people (reasonably well off and some have their own business like us) on Govt handouts and my answers are the same as yours.

 

Good Luck. Hang in there.

[Fu Lai]

Guys please, they aren't government handouts. YOU PAID FOR IT FOR JUST THESE KIND OF TIMES. Forget about others who you may think misuse it. It isn't about them, it is about you.

 

MY OPINION: You are being unnecessarily stubborn if you do not accept what you and your family are deserved. Maybe even preventing you and your family what is rightfully yours. We pay a lot to have this safety net so why deny your kin? For what reason? Pride? Prejudice?

 

As for being blessed with a child, if you are lucky enough to have children there is no perfect time. Think of it as "If not us, who? If not now, when?" If you are driven people then maybe the next big break is right around the corner and this time of need will be temporary. If you both are able to have children then you should do it when you can or perhaps you will regret it when you can't.

[tsap seui]

Well here it is...my wife keeps wanting to have a kid, and despite not having enougjh money, my being laid off, and her not having a job, she thinks it would be the perfect time to pop out one...

 

She says we can just get government aid...welfare...wic...etc.

 

I don't agree with that whole thought process, plus I seem to recall something during the 8 years from beginning paperwork until citizenship on some form that says we agree not to apply for such aid for "x" amount of years. I told her this, now she is asking what form and how long before she can jump on the welfare train...

 

This is so stupid...

 

Does anyone know if there is a restriction on this kind of aid?

I get your point here. You've lost your job....the system was designed with folks like you guys in mind. It's clear you don't want to go this route, but this is the America of 2013...job losses. Job losses never were the fault of the working masses. That golden award goes to the ones operating the businesses, and more so to the ones at the top who might have college degrees in something...but apparently never took even the simplest Business course.

 

I wouldn't want to bring a child into this atomsphere either. Hell, I worry about my 26 and 16 year old kids in this job market.

 

Good luck, you sound FAR from being a quitter. I hope the best for you and your wife, and wish you the best in finding another decent job.

 

tsap seui

[Randy W]

@Jiangsexpat: My priorities are in order, I haven't went out and started having kids..k? I have told her about the fact that things are tight...I didn't figure you needed a transcript of my discussions with her. I'm not sitting on my ass expecting a handout, I'm trying to avoid it.

 

She sees tons of people doing it, she's a citizen and wonders why we need to hold off on kids when the lady in front of us has two carts full of food and whips out that ebt card as we look at our cart and wonder do we need all of this.

 

I didn't plan to get laid off, so don't go the "get your prioities in order"route with me. I wanted to know if my "we can't take aid honey, we will have to pay it back route" was valid. Her Chinese friend had a kid, paid nothing, and has been telling my wife we could do the same.

 

I have two part time jobs, no insurance, and have started taking some classes in spare time. I suffer from Crohn's and since my layoff have lost insurance. I did not try to get medicaid, or disability. The COBRA payments were near $1000, so that was a no go. I am making due with what i have. I stopped all meds and am sucking it up.

 

While I work on "getting my priorities in order" work on getting your head out of your rear,watching your mouth, and being less of a douche.

 

 

@Everyone else:

 

Thanks for the helpful replies and sorry for my rant.

 

Very well put. Thank you.

[Guest ExChinaExpat]

@Jiangsexpat: My priorities are in order, I haven't went out and started having kids..k? I have told her about the fact that things are tight...I didn't figure you needed a transcript of my discussions with her. I'm not sitting on my ass expecting a handout, I'm trying to avoid it.

 

She sees tons of people doing it, she's a citizen and wonders why we need to hold off on kids when the lady in front of us has two carts full of food and whips out that ebt card as we look at our cart and wonder do we need all of this.

 

I didn't plan to get laid off, so don't go the "get your prioities in order"route with me. I wanted to know if my "we can't take aid honey, we will have to pay it back route" was valid. Her Chinese friend had a kid, paid nothing, and has been telling my wife we could do the same.

 

I have two part time jobs, no insurance, and have started taking some classes in spare time. I suffer from Crohn's and since my layoff have lost insurance. I did not try to get medicaid, or disability. The COBRA payments were near $1000, so that was a no go. I am making due with what i have. I stopped all meds and am sucking it up.

 

While I work on "getting my priorities in order" work on getting your head out of your rear,watching your mouth, and being less of a douche.

 

 

@Everyone else:

 

Thanks for the helpful replies and sorry for my rant.

 

My words were direct, and I'm aware that getting a dose of truth isn't easy for you to swallow. Nevertheless, I wish you both good luck and hope that one day you'll be able to provide a stable home for your wife and new baby if you choose to have one.

Edited February 2, 2013 by JiangsuExpat (see edit history)

[Fu Lai]

 

... work on getting your head out of your rear, watching your mouth, and being less of a douche.

 

Very well put. Thank you.

Wow, "very well put" the moderator says to an uncalled for personal attack.

[warpedbored]

Guys, mellow out. Bama Guy is having a tough time and came here asking for advise not criticism,. If your political views are against people getting welfare keep it to yourself. If your political views are in favor of people getting welfare keep it to yourself. If it isn't your argument stay out of it.