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Message from Santa Claus

owenkrout

By owenkrout,
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owenkrout

owenkrout

Posted
Posted

From: Office of Gift Requests

North Pole Headquarters

Claus Philanthropic Fund

 

To: Visa petitioners and their loved ones

 

RE: Visa requests

 

 

Dear friends,

 

I wish to assure you that we here at the North Pole are taking all possible measures to meet the overwhelming number of requests for visas this Christmas season. Unfortunately, we are not able to meet all requests that were received within the normal time frame of Christmas Eve. Actions where taken to meet these requests, but matters beyond our control prevented us from doing so.

 

Screening for bad behavior and maintenance of extensive data bases are areas of expertise in which our organization takes pride in being the best in the world. Therefore, a special detached unit of 1,000 elves was dispatched to Washington, D.C. for the express purpose of offering aid with processing name checks and entering the pertinent data into the U.S. Department of State’s computer data bases early in the month of November.

 

Unfortunately, the new Homeland Security Department failed to honor the free passage treaties which have existed for over 200 years between the United States and Mr. Claus. The aforementioned elves where arrested shortly after crossing over Lake Erie. Department of State lawyers now insist that the treaties only applied to the free passage of Mr. Claus personally and that the elves will be held in custody pending the outcome of their name checks to determine if any are potential terrorists. Also, the elves have reported being extensively pressured to reveal names on the “naughty list”. All have held firm and refused to reveal this information. (The Claus Philanthropic Fund has a long standing policy of not releasing information concerning specific names on the naughty or nice list) We have appealed this action on the basis that the elves where traveling under diplomatic immunity.

 

Needless to say, the loss of services of such a large number of elves has seriously limited our ability to grant requests. In addition, the elves where traveling in Mr. Claus’s personal sleigh, NP-1 and utilizing three of the primary members of his reindeer team. (Since the sleigh was not fully loaded with gifts, an undersized team was being utilized.) The loss of this equipment and deer will also have detrimental effects on Christmas deliveries.

 

Mr. Claus himself has intervened in the normal process and ordered the following steps to be taken:

1. Christmas season will be extended for one month to allow for overtime work by the remaining elves. Special dispatches of visas will continue during this time.

2. A smaller unit of 25 elves has already been dispatched and is currently aiding The American Consulate at Guangzhou, China to issue visas for which clearance has been received.

3. Certain key officials in the U.S. have been placed on the “naughty” list.

4. A special operations team consisting of Computer Science and Information Technology trained elves was successfully infiltrated into the Department of State using new stealth sleigh technology and they managed by working late at night and early mornings to clear half of the backlogged names before being discovered. All successfully escaped and managed to cross into Canada except for one squad of 12 elves. These claimed to have been unable to make an effective flight to the north and are currently in Bermuda. Their claims are viewed with suspicion by Mr. Claus and are being investigated.

5. The newest technology stealth sleigh having been proven in action, it will be utilized by Mr. Claus this season.

6. Back-up reindeer are ready to replace the three team members being held in quarantine by U.S. Customs.

 

Mr. Claus sincerely apologizes for not being able to meet all the received requests within the normal time frame and assures you that as soon as the current matter is resolved, serious consideration will be given to how to avoid future delays.

 

 

A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!!

 

Signed,

 

Santa Claus

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LaoMao

LaoMao

Posted
Posted
No, no!!  Really, I am Santa!!!  I'm just hiding out here in China.

B)

Don.

 

He really is! I saw his picture! :P >Jim

Where is the Santa's photo? B) If he is Santa, he is a hard working Santa, I believe. :lol:

Go to visadelays.com to see the photos. Where is yours? :P >Jim

here, http://groups.msn.com/doudousk3world/

Beautiful pictures and a beautiful Lady! You are quite the handsome fellow too--like Eric. Movie star potential! Can you upload the pictures to visadelays? Phillip was supposed to be working on a url that would allow this. :D :D >Jim

Jim, Thank you. Ok, I will do. But how do you know which photo is me? :P :o

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