Asian Failure - 79

[SheLikesME?]

Lil One got an 80 on her English final in 7th grade. Momma is madder than hell. I didn't think too much of it = a "B".

 

Momma leaves for the store and Lil One says "Asian Failure". I was puzzled so she explains 80 is barely passing. If you get a 79 in China you FAIL. Ahh I finally understand now.

 

I later tell Momma a "B" is passing and she is surprised. Momma is now mad at me and Lil One.

 

You know, a "B" is just fine with me. I wish the heck this woman was not so strict in such a mean way about ACHIEVEMENT. She will never be happy or satisfied. I hope Lil One's spirit isn't broken.

Edited June 1, 2012 by SheLikesME? (see edit history)

[chilton747]

Lil One got an 80 on her English final in 7th grade. Momma is madder than hell. I didn't think too much of it = a "B".

 

Momma leaves for the store and Lil One says "Asian Failure". I was puzzled so she explains 80 is barely passing. If you get a 79 in China you FAIL. Ahh I finally understand now.

 

I later tell Momma a "B" is passing and she is surprised. Momma is now mad at me and Lil One.

 

You know, a "B" is just fine with me. I wish the heck this woman was not so strict in such a mean way about ACHIEVEMENT. She will never be happy or satisfied. I hope Lil One's spirit isn't broken.

 

We now you and Lil One can celebrate by yourselves. Tell Momma to go home and rest.

[tsap seui]

Man, if'n I wooda gotten a B in school my mamma and daddy wooda been dancin' for joy. Blue collar boy takin' academic pap. Good thing my parents weren't Chinertuckians.

 

Ya know, if'n we were ALL scholars the plumbin' and electrical systems in our homes would soon fail and we'd still be livin' in tents. All the wealthy folks I know never went to them thar colleges. Somebody has to do the dirty work for the uppity ups, and the pay is often better than what the uppity ups makes.

 

tsap seui

Dumber than a squashed toad in the middle of the road, only thang I know how to do is make money....sigh

[reblooming]

i understand mom's feeling. one of my colleagues's daughter got 89, my colleague was totally mad and did not allow the girl eat for a whole day and even hit the girl when she heard the bad news. now the girl is in the one of the best university of china.anyway, my son never got a "B", If he had gotten one I would be worried as much as any chinese mom do.

[Richard & Li]

I have no advice on parenting. But, IMHO: Momma may be right...

 

From a professor's perspective: We see far too many freshmen enter college unprepared and unable to take studying seriously. We try to help these kids overcome their academic immaturity; but, it can be a difficult task and unfortunately, we don't always succeed. I believe students whose parents demand excellence tend to continue with what they've gotten used to - they 'rocket off' towards honors, scholarships and great careers (and they are a real pleasure to teach).

[Mick]

Salina just finished second grade. Through Kindergarten, First Grade, and Second Grade she has made straight A's, except for one B in Math at the beginning of 1st grade. Li still gives her hell about it, which in August, will be two years ago. Used to be if Salina brought home anything lower than 95, all would hell break loose. Expectations are somewhat high. Li has lightened up a bit, but nothing can get her fired up like a bad grade (bad meaning anything below 90 or so).

[knloregon]

Yeah, same here... but the shame is, the current wife won't help the step daughters, who I have committed to be Han first. (since they are) ---too much Liberal attitude, and independence for her, as a very traditional Chinese woman, so I have had to go outside of the house for their Chinese education--- both are Mandarin immersion, they are more than 1/2 way there, but could be a lot further along if they had Mandarin support at home. #2 is a straight 'A' student, but that doesn't motivate her to help.....

[SheLikesME?]

Yeah, same here... but the shame is, the current wife won't help the step daughters, who I have committed to be Han first. (since they are) ---too much Liberal attitude, and independence for her, as a very traditional Chinese woman, so I have had to go outside of the house for their Chinese education--- both are Mandarin immersion, they are more than 1/2 way there, but could be a lot further along if they had Mandarin support at home. #2 is a straight 'A' student, but that doesn't motivate her to help.....

So my ex will not help her own daughter either. And she will not follow up and check homework, that it is done and accurate like I do with kids. And I make sure the finished corrected homework is in the backpack by seeing it with my eyes there, so it gets to school. This kid sometimes does it but never turns it in. Other times she just figures she knows the material and does not care about the little stuff or the grade. She will even tell the teachers that her mother cares about the grades, but she does not.

Over the years I learned that Momma did not turn in homework either as a child, and had the exact same attitude as her daughter, she does well on tests. But this is not even relevant to Momma. Oh really I think to myself. Gosh how I HATE the stupidity of Asians living only in the present, never considering that anything in the past is something to learn from, and maybe their kids are just like them, and not thinking much about the future. It just must be strait As and even though Lil One got a 94 on her math exam and will get an A that is not good enough for Momma. 94 is bad in Mommas eyes.

 

Momma wants me to bring Lil One to my house until June 18 or so, whenever this exam to see if she can move up one more year ind take algebra 2 in the 8th grade next year, since I have the ability to motivate the child to study and in a calm way, and we have fun and a peaceful life together too. Momma makes war and turmoil and the kid rebels. I really don't want to do it this time for other reasons I may post about later somewhere else, having to do with a cousin showing up from China and living with them now.

 

The thing is, this child has interests in plants, bugs, sea creatures, and etc, and she studies about this stuff on her own, when she can get away with it. Personally I would get her a microscope and still may for her birthday, and let her learn about things she is interested in and has a talent for. Her Mom NEVER sees it, never even observes, just follows the Chinese strict ass dogma slave driving nose in books crap all day every day. And there is no leeway, no listening to any other idea. Closed minded brick. Then there was the politics this kid was excellent at when down here in my school district, getting elected to student council. Leadership training. So many other fun things to learn other than extra math shoved down her throat 24-7.

 

Is this enough rant?

Edited June 5, 2012 by SheLikesME? (see edit history)

[knloregon]

SLM : "..Momma makes war and turmoil and the kid rebels..." No, my friend, not too much of a rant. I understand completely. from my experience, the traditional Chinese solution for youth rebellion, is to double down on discipline, even in the face of the student's success! --- if that success is at all American, which is to say, obvious, or proud.

 

Its a tough row to hoe, partly because the hard-ass Chinese wife is partly right---here in uber-Liberal Portland, kids graduate HS (if they graduate at all --- slightly more that 50%) ---graduate with a high sense of self esteem ---but little preparation for either rigorous college, or the work force. Chinese push unfairly hard on their own kids, because unlike the kids in Portland, as an example, they have a clue what it takes to make it in the World Economy ---- America's liberals are, if nothing else, clueless...

 

 

[Urkidding]

Americans have soccer moms and Chinese have tiger moms.

When your wife spends 1-2 hours every evening with her child doing homework – then you have a tiger mom. Are Chinese Mothers Superior, you bet they are! Read about it from Amy Chua as she explains what and why her kids could and couldn’t do. Even her kids complained until they grew up and understood the significance of why their mother did what she did.

An interesting article when you compare the difference. I have to give my wife a lot of credit… but I do feel for the little guy when it comes time to practice the violin.

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

 

[Thomas Promise]

Americans have soccer moms and Chinese have tiger moms.

When your wife spends 1-2 hours every evening with her child doing homework – then you have a tiger mom. Are Chinese Mothers Superior, you bet they are! Read about it from Amy Chua as she explains what and why her kids could and couldn’t do. Even her kids complained until they grew up and understood the significance of why their mother did what she did.

An interesting article when you compare the difference. I have to give my wife a lot of credit… but I do feel for the little guy when it comes time to practice the violin.

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

 

 

Don't forget the Minivans/SUVs, the drive thru at McDonalds with double cheeseburgers, super size fries, diet cokes and strong sense of self entitlement.

[Sam and Fen]

Technically I am Asian too, maybe not in the American defination of "Asian"

 

All Asians push their kids very hard to do well in school.

 

The main reason for this is that most Asian countries are over populated with very few oppportunites to make it big in life.

 

If you do well in school you can get into Med or Engineering school and have a good future but if you don't and end up studying the Arts or Economics you really do not have much of a future. This was very true in the past but with the economies of countries like China and India doing very well this is slowly changing.

 

Most of us "Asians" who are 30+ something have been bought up that way and that is why we presuure our kids to do well in school.

 

My daughter today is studying Bio-Pshycology at Purdue so the pressure that was put on her by her momma in school has certainly paid off.

 

The other reason is we "Asians" like to boast about how well our kids have done in school and in life. Failure of a child for us is failure of us as parents.

 

What can I say it is in our DNA.

[SheLikesME?]

Guys I gotcha, but this Momma won't monitor. I very seldom have known a kid that does not need it routinely.

I always had to see the homework first. I check it. I seldom had to sit with them. I did other things. But I had to check, then the child is off to the next assignment before bed. It seems so simple rather than all the hell raising when a teacher sends and email or report. She expects the kid to be an adult, and sometimes one kid or the other is not. I at least got her to be more calm and love the girl a bit more.

 

A lot of managers in aerospace I know prefer the B average students rather than the A guys. Their Human Resources dept wants the strait A guys. They have trouble with the strait A grads - generally I am told. They don't work quite as hard and sometimes their creativity is lacking. I know this is not going to make any difference to anyone here, just sayin... .........It ain't the end of the world to make a B.

[haihai]

Americans have soccer moms and Chinese have tiger moms.

When your wife spends 1-2 hours every evening with her child doing homework – then you have a tiger mom. Are Chinese Mothers Superior, you bet they are! Read about it from Amy Chua as she explains what and why her kids could and couldn’t do. Even her kids complained until they grew up and understood the significance of why their mother did what she did.

An interesting article when you compare the difference. I have to give my wife a lot of credit… but I do feel for the little guy when it comes time to practice the violin.

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

 

 

Don't forget the Minivans/SUVs, the drive thru at McDonalds with double cheeseburgers, super size fries, diet cokes and strong sense of self entitlement.

 

wow, De Nile is not just in Egypt!

[knloregon]

I followed the 'Tiger Mom' phenom closely when it first appeared in the WSJ, and much of it I agree with---where I part ways, is when the child needs to continue a pursuit where they clearly have no aptitude. I have told my girls, yes, you need to stick with any activity --- to a point --- but if you aren't successful --- you need to move on! ---that part of success in life, is understanding what you do well, and what you don't do well...