Sumtins burnin.....

[RobertH]

So when I come into the house yesterday I smell this horrible burning smell the whole house is filled with this light hazy smoke. I starting to get worried because I think we have an electrical fire starting.

 

I yell for Hui to get out of the house while I check it out. She gives me this weird look and says why get out of the house. I tell her I think we have a fire in the house, she looks at me and said stupid husband I burn the orange peel. at this point I'm coughing a little bit and holding my nose she proceeds to tell me that she lit some dried orange peel on fire to make some bugs from the cat and dog go away. Wow burning orange peel really does stink it took all day to airout the house.

 

this ever happened to anyone else?

[dnoblett]

Sounds like home made citronella!

 

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-some-uses-for-orange-peels.htm

[chilton747]

The wife has fired up a few cookin untensils and melted a hot water kettle by leaving it on the stove wide open for 2 1/2 hours. Stoopid me should have come home from work early then we would have not lost the kettle.

[dnoblett]

The wife has fired up a few cookin untensils and melted a hot water kettle by leaving it on the stove wide open for 2 1/2 hours. Stoopid me should have come home from work early then we would have not lost the kettle.

My mother has a friend who destroyed a stove, managed to melt a pot onto a burner.

[amberjack1234]

The wife has fired up a few cookin untensils and melted a hot water kettle by leaving it on the stove wide open for 2 1/2 hours. Stoopid me should have come home from work early then we would have not lost the kettle.

That'll teach you. Take care of it nest time.

 

Larry

[Cerberus]

Saga 1:

 

After her recent arrival to the US (2005), my wife prepared grilled fish for the both of us, in the married couple’s dorm of the university I was attending, as I was still finishing the final requirements of my degree. My wife did this cooking as a surprise for me, to show her adaptability to the US; in cooking, care of her new husband, and as a surprise for me. I did get the surprise part.

 

I arrived home, and saw the smoke in our home from recent cooking by my wife, but nothing was on fire. I assumed that everything was okay, and the smoke was left-over from some secret Chinese cooking method, of one sort or another! I'm a wise Westerner, and I know when to keep my mouth shut, and when not to ask questions in a home, which is ruled Chinese mistress!

 

Wrong! I inquired what the dinner was, and she proudly announced to me that she had prepared Chinese grilled fish with a Sichuan recipe, which also contained with a mixture of special Chinese herbs, and a spectacular " secret" Chinese sauce, which she had marinated the fish in, and then used the marinade juices after thickening, to glaze the fish while grilling it! BTW, the fish was about 14” long striped-bass, we had purchased maybe three days previously.

 

Then an errant thought hit me! “Wait a minute we don’t have a grill! How in the name of Hell did she pull this off?”

 

 

 

 

I got my answer soon enough! I sat the table, overlooked the table's fare, and my eyes alighted on the fish in a separate plate all by itself. Then I saw the grill marks on the fish. The grill marks were in a consistent and had evenly spaced arc patterns on the sides of the fish. While my wife was not looking; I slightly tilted the fish up a bit, and peeked underneath. Yep! The same patterns were on the opposite side of the fish, too!

 

Circular and concentric grill marks on the grilled fish! WTF?

 

YEP! Here it comes!

 

With the Chinese people; necessity is the Mother of invention. My wife had lovingly grilled the fish on the stove top with the large burner!

 

 

 

I do have to give my wife credit, when credit is due! Due to the length of the fish; she had to take 4 whacks at it (two per side) to get the entire length, of both sides of the fish. I will also admit that the fish was delicious and was entirely consumed.

 

The next day; the cleaning of the large stove element was an absolute bitch. Yep! I’m lazy. I went to Lincoln, NE to a local hardware store and purchased a new burner pan and element! Shortly thereafter; I went another store to purchase a small portable Japanese-style hibachi grill, too!

 

 

 

Saga 2:

 

I was still in school, had the same circumstances as Saga 1. My wife was cooking for a college friend and I, of which had I invited to lunch at my apartment with my new Chinese wife, and had duly discussed with her two days in advance, to avoid any surprises. My wife had previously stated that she she wanted to impress my friends of what good of a Chinese wife she was, and wanted to meet them. Damn my eyes! Gentlemen and Ladies; when you hear your fiancee/fiance say words like these.... WATCH OUT! There is a disaster heading in your direction! If something; and mean anything goes wrong or is missing! Watch your 6 o'clock!

 

Yin had been preparing the lunch for all of us. Since he was an American man, she had decided to make stir fired potato slivers , with fresh Chinese chili peppers as a side dish. Twice cooked Pork was the main entree. Unfortunately, she had run out of red peppers for the potatoes.

 

Remember what I said previously stated about Chinese? “…necessity is the Mother of invention.” She looked around and saw my Thai Pepper plant (used for ornamental purposes only), and she tried one. Anyone that is nuts enough to eat one on these thermonuclear devices in their mouths; has my utmost respect to them. For those that don’t understand what I’m talking about; here is what they look like:

 

http://www.thefloweringgarden.com/pics/thai-chili-pepper1.jpg

 

She got about thirteen of them, sliced them into slivers, and awaited our arrival home. My friend and I arrived at our home. Yin began cooking to insure that we had hot and fresh food which she had prepared.

 

Into the wok went the oil and properly heated, to a small smoking point. In went the garlic and salt. Then the potatoes were added and which was immediately followed by the 13 sliced previously mentioned sliced Thai peppers.

 

What happened when those peppers hit the hot oil? Immediately, there was a fog which overtook the kitchen and then went to the rest of the apartment. It resembled a chemical attack of the Iraqi’s and Chemical Ali on the Kurd's!

 

We immediately abandoned the apartment, with eyes stinging/watering, lungs gasping for air, and choking sensations which caused extended coughing. I got the worst of it, since I had sense enough to turn off the burners before I abandoned ship.

 

It took us about half of the day to get the apartment aired out. Yep! I had had to call the Chairman of the NDT Department, and explain why I took a half-day off from school. His wife and himself had met Yin, and knew that she was a recent arrival to the US. His wife had taken my wife under her wing to assist, and loved her to death. Of course there were the usual questions from him to me, as to the nature of my emergency. I tried to explain succinctly and logically. My explanations had a reverse effect!

 

All I heard was laughter on the other end of the line, and his final words: “Bill come here! You gotta’ hear this one!” Bill Wiley was another NDT instructor of mine. Guess whom was waiting for me the next day, when I arrived for my classes? Both of them, and another two instructors they had told about the incident, and they wanted to meet the husband of this woman! I did notice that they still had residual tears, and I suspect from laughter!

 

After 6 years of marriage she hasn’t done this once! Knock on wood! However! I still keep a wary eye out! I will point out that sometimes, stupidity does cause ourselves to love someone even more! JUST be proactive! Keep a fire extinguisher, well-supplied first aid kit, and a fan nearby. Then have the ability to laugh about it later.

 

BTW! That is why I have the avatar I do. SHIT HAPPENS. But just to me!

Edited November 16, 2010 by Cerberus (see edit history)