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Thank god she is 8000 miles away right now.


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I see two concerns:

1. She seems to know a little too much about the process

2. Getting approved seems her goal

 

Have you seen this before in her?

 

 

No concerns at all with that. She knows how the process works. She is just concerned that I did not send enough information. Like I told her last night that sometimes less is better. All angles are covered. She was wondering about the RFE's. If I would have sent more than I did then she wouldn't worry but I got her calmed down.

 

Isn't everyone's goal to get approved? We have had our ups and downs. Most of her anger is tongue in cheek. She just rather not talk for awhile until she calms down. I have seen this in the year and a half since I have known her.If something upsets her she just tells her side then walks away for a bit to calm down. Soon after it never happened in her eyes. I am not concerned at all about her going for just the green card...NOT at all!

 

When I first read david_d's post, I got to thinking a little bit about #1. I'm thinking that lots of information about the process is already out there on the internet including here, VJ, and perhaps even 001. As for #2, if the goal is getting approved vs. being together, then I would see concern. Otherwise, isn't getting approved a shared goal of us all who are applying? Just my two cents.

 

Davidq: Good luck on your journey in this process and best wishes to you both in your life together! :D

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Davidq,

It could be among other things the "another Chinese woman said...." And should that be the case there is no further discussion. What another Chinese woman says (and she doesn't even have to know the woman) has more weight than anything or anybody that you've consulted. Period.

So, if someone else has told her that's not enough then you either 1) beg forgiveness and send more or 2) wait it out and hope to God it gets approved, cuz you'll never hear the end of it otherwise.

 

Good Luck!

Edited by Yuanyang (see edit history)
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Well I sent the K1 visa packet in, thank god she is not anywhere near me right now.

 

She is very upset with me the last few days and haven't talked to her.

 

She feels that what I sent in was not enough evidence of our ongoing relationship. I only printed out 3 conversations over a period of having a relationship for 16 months. There were 28 pages of those 3 conversations. I sent a note saying I could provide thousands of pages of our chats but did not want to overwhelm.

 

I sent in 14 pictures.With her daughter, mother, family, cousins. I started out with over 40. We don't talk on the phone that much. So I had only one call the last month that lasted 49 minutes. I tried to get more but records only go back 3 months. Her "international phone was broken for 2 months. All receipts and boarding passes of my 3 trips to visit her were copied and provided.

 

I told her not to worry that I felt there was enough evidence of our relationship. Sent her a copy of the evolution letter and she loved it. but after I told her what I sent she argued with me....mmmmm "told me" I did not provide enough.

 

Phone went dead and she won't answer my calls.....

 

Any suggestions for me to get her to calm down?

 

Do you think I provided enough? ALL forms according to the guidelines have been sent. All T's crossed. Checked everything over 3 times over 4 days.

 

It was received on my delivery confirmation on Monday so they have it now. I have emailed her and told her this but she won't listen....haha.

 

Now the wait starts!!!

 

 

To be honest, I don't think you sent enough on the emails. When I was working on my wife's visa, I had over 700 hundred copied emails from one account and over 5000 on 11 disc's from other emails between us. Plus I had five letters: two from my parents, two from my sister and her husband and one from a close friend. Plus I had two I-864 affidavit of support forms filed jointly between my father and me. I wonder how serious you are. You should have sent more than 14 photo's. Iam glad you got a response, but I think without enoughevidence you may be turned down. I think you need to have more prepared just in case they ask for more, trust me, they will go over everything with a fine tooth comb. Plus you may want to go once they tell you they have an interview date for moral support. I was with my wife when she went in for her interview and saw about 50 other American's there with their fiance's. About 20 came down crying because they were denied visa's or delayed for months because of lack of proper evidence. So youo may want to consider

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Relax you sent in what they wanted no more and no less.

They are not going to read 700 or even 5000 emails on 11 disks.

They just don't have the time.

They just need you know you have a valid relationship.

They can figure this out by reading a just few emails

 

The general rule is only sent in what they ask for. Nothing more! nothing less!

if you go and give them more, Then that is going to give them more to ask about during the interview.

 

Like i said, relax you'll do fine.

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She was wondering about the RFE's. If I would have sent more than I did then she wouldn't worry but I got her calmed down.

Well that certainly proved my first point :rolleyes:

 

I think you generally sent enough. Maybe a chat or two more could of been sent, or a phone log but the evidence should be representative of your ability to communicate, not be a Noah's ark of material.

 

My main point with #1 was that some ladies know a little more than one might expect; and sometimes that comes from nothing more than the local gossip or even the english class they attend. Do you know where her knowledge comes from? One rarely hears of a lady who maybe knows the processes as much or more than the USC and berates them for not providing enough info. That perks up my ears and eyes. I accept that you are not concerned.

 

Isn't everyone's goal to get approved?

I would think the goal is to just be together. Your free to pursue and apply for that for the US: A petition is the means to be request a visa to be together in the US. What if that does not happen, do you give up because that 'goal' failed? Based on her anger already shown, how will she respond if this 'goal' fails? Mostly rhetorical, but I feel a narrow concept of being together by both sides here.

 

You seem to downplay her behavior again and again. I personally would not underestimate her meaning.

 

This is just my observation based on very limited comments. Good luck.

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I would think the goal is to just be together. Your free to pursue and apply for that for the US: A petition is the means to be request a visa to be together in the US. What if that does not happen, do you give up because that 'goal' failed? Based on her anger already shown, how will she respond if this 'goal' fails? Mostly rhetorical, but I feel a narrow concept of being together by both sides here.

 

You seem to downplay her behavior again and again. I personally would not underestimate her meaning.

 

Once again David you hit the nail on the head buddy.

 

I find it odd that this is all she is worried about. ( What papers that where turned in? )then again once visa is issued will we see the famous post about. (When will my GC arrive?)

 

IMO: If she is giving you problems now! What will happen when she arrives in the U.S.?

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I have taken all your advice and put it in my head.Thanks for some interesting insight. I truly do appreciate it.

 

Most of this was tongue in cheek. I get a kick out of her when she gets upset about something. Usually its resolved within minutes when we are together. It is not like she gets upset at a drop of the hat. I think this is only the 3rd time she got this upset over something. All 3 reasons for her being upset were valid in my mind. No anger has been shown over anything petty.

 

We have discussed what would happen if we were to fail on our first attempt. We have talked about all aspects of living in the US. We both know each other very well with the times when together that we know what the other person likes, dislikes and so on.

 

During my 2nd trip to see her we discussed

1. Did we want to live in China or the US? Would it be possible for me to make a decent living if I moved to China? We both know my living standard in the US is plenty for us to be comfortable here.

2. We both wanted to know exactly how the Visa process worked. This way we have 2 sets of eyes on something one of us might miss.

 

We both felt it was important for us to understand the process of how long everything took. She has learned the process from USCIS, VisaJourney and the bbs.us net(it think this is 001?) Yes, she knows there are some bitter people over there giving bad advice. She is a very smart woman and when she has her mind set on learning something she is 110% into it. When ever she has a question about something I go to my resources and find answers if I do not know it. DavidD you have been my resource for many of questions we have both had and you answered them in other threads. When we first started talking about all this she had known very little about the Visa process. I would rather her know as much as she can!

 

It is not our goal to just be APPROVED. Misunderstanding of my words. Yes we want to be TOGETHER. We are always talking about what we are going to do for the next 30 years TOGETHER after her approval.

 

We are both relaxed now. I just wanted to see your thoughts in maybe something I/we missed. I can't send in something I don't have..more phone records. We have stepped that up now with talking on the phone more since I found the talk2china site. Its not that we didn't like talking on the phone....we just liked using cam to talk in person.

 

I have gathered a few items to put in our file if any RFE is asked for and for a few extras during the interview.

 

Thanks again for your helpful advice

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Well I sent the K1 visa packet in, thank god she is not anywhere near me right now.

 

She is very upset with me the last few days and haven't talked to her.

 

She feels that what I sent in was not enough evidence of our ongoing relationship. I only printed out 3 conversations over a period of having a relationship for 16 months. There were 28 pages of those 3 conversations. I sent a note saying I could provide thousands of pages of our chats but did not want to overwhelm.

 

I sent in 14 pictures.With her daughter, mother, family, cousins. I started out with over 40. We don't talk on the phone that much. So I had only one call the last month that lasted 49 minutes. I tried to get more but records only go back 3 months. Her "international phone was broken for 2 months. All receipts and boarding passes of my 3 trips to visit her were copied and provided.

 

I told her not to worry that I felt there was enough evidence of our relationship. Sent her a copy of the evolution letter and she loved it. but after I told her what I sent she argued with me....mmmmm "told me" I did not provide enough.

 

Phone went dead and she won't answer my calls.....

 

Any suggestions for me to get her to calm down?

 

Do you think I provided enough? ALL forms according to the guidelines have been sent. All T's crossed. Checked everything over 3 times over 4 days.

 

It was received on my delivery confirmation on Monday so they have it now. I have emailed her and told her this but she won't listen....haha.

 

Now the wait starts!!!

 

 

To be honest, I don't think you sent enough on the emails. When I was working on my wife's visa, I had over 700 hundred copied emails from one account and over 5000 on 11 disc's from other emails between us. Plus I had five letters: two from my parents, two from my sister and her husband and one from a close friend. Plus I had two I-864 affidavit of support forms filed jointly between my father and me. I wonder how serious you are. You should have sent more than 14 photo's. Iam glad you got a response, but I think without enoughevidence you may be turned down. I think you need to have more prepared just in case they ask for more, trust me, they will go over everything with a fine tooth comb. Plus you may want to go once they tell you they have an interview date for moral support. I was with my wife when she went in for her interview and saw about 50 other American's there with their fiance's. About 20 came down crying because they were denied visa's or delayed for months because of lack of proper evidence. So you may want to consider

 

 

I plan on going to the interview. Already discussed and agreed upon. Yeah I could have sent the thousand of pages of emails and chats but felt the ones I sent covered our seriousness for each other and commitment. I have everything else copied on discs and thumb drives if they need more evidence. The 14 photos covered all 3 trips. According to USCIS site they only ask for 2-4 photos. I covered the family, extended family and friends. I have plenty more if needed. Seriousness? no comment.

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]

we just don't want to see you come back to this forum 1-2 years from now crying and whining that you have been scammed and why our government didn't prevent you from being scammed ,etc.....

ONLY you can make that decision about your relationship . Take control and don't let a woman runs your life. It is not a Chinese culture . There are many good Chinese women out there but there are also many bad ones.

 

So, you heard all the comments and the writing on the wall , it 's you who decide how to proceed. afterall , it's your life.

 

Wish you the happiness.

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