OT: The Dog House

[Dave G.]

Hi All....long time, no see. Busy times albeit wonderful.

 

Here's something to kick around a bit: what have you done to land yourself in the dog house with your Chinese significant others? I find myself now in it...hard! What was my offense, you ask? I kissed the dog at the dinner table. JM was pissed! To make matters worse, I fed the dog from my chop stix and then ate another bite from them. That was the final nail in the coffin. Maybe it didn't help that I licked the chop stix too....did so for added effect. Well, if it's effect I wanted, it's effect I got! http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sauer/angry-smiley-005.gif

 

So, I tried to explain that the dogs were part of the family and should be kissed. That was a none starter. Tried to explain that dogs' mouths are cleaner that ours. That was a no go too. Of course, while JM was fuming, the kid jumped in and nicely reminded us that the dog licks its private parts with the mouth I just kissed. He roared with laughter, she exploded, and had to pause to think of my actions (momentarily, of course). In hindsight, it's all quite funny. Just wish she'd start laughing. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sprachlos/speechless-smiley-013.gif

 

Post your dog house experiences so I might learn what other traps to avoid. Oh my!!!!

[frank1538]

Just tell her the dog can speak:

 

You: What's on top of the house?

Dog: roof roof

 

You: Where do I hit most of my golf balls?

Dog: Ruff ruff

[Mick]

I would respond Dave, but I am laughing to hard.

 

Loved the part about where the kid jumped in and talked about the licking of the privates. You got an icon of that or dog slobber in general?

 

Is a Nevada dog house cold?

[Mick]

Here Dave, have her read this. It may help!

 

 

 

A Dog's Letter to God

---------------------

 

Dear God, why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell

one another?

 

Dear God, when we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the

same old story?

 

Dear God, why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the

mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for

a

dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice

ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the 'Chrysler

Beagle'?

 

Dear God, if a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears

him, is he still a bad dog?

 

Dear God, we dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand

signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,

electromagnetic

energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

 

Dear God, when we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to

get in?

 

Dear God, are there mailmen in heaven? If there are, will I have to

apologize?

 

Dear God, let me give you a list of just some of the things I must

remember

to be a good dog:

 

I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they

throw it up.

 

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I

like

the way they smell.

 

I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although

they

are tasty, they are not food.

 

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

 

The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

 

I will not play tug-o-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the

toilet.

 

Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of

saying 'hello'.

 

I will not throw up in the car.

 

I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across

the

carpet.

 

I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch

when

company is over.

 

The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes

that

noise, it's usually not a good thing.

 

And dear God: May I please have my testicles back?

[Robert S.]

Dave, it may be a while before she will kiss YOU again!!! Have you got her to try Listerine? Maybe if she would do that then she could believe that you could use it and purify yourself again. You knew those dogs were going to make trouble.

[mikem]

Hi All....long time, no see.  Busy times albeit wonderful.  

 

Here's something to kick around a bit:  what have you done to land yourself in the dog house with your Chinese significant others?  I find myself now in it...hard!  What was my offense, you ask?  I kissed the dog at the dinner table.  JM was pissed!  To make matters worse, I fed the dog from my chop stix and then ate another bite from them.  That was the final nail in the coffin.  Maybe it didn't help that I licked the chop stix too....did so for added effect.  Well, if it's effect I wanted, it's effect I got!  http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sauer/angry-smiley-005.gif

 

So, I tried to explain that the dogs were part of the family and should be kissed.  That was a none starter.  Tried to explain that dogs' mouths are cleaner that ours.  That was a no go too.  Of course, while JM was fuming, the kid jumped in and nicely reminded us that the dog licks its private parts with the mouth I just kissed.  He roared with laughter, she exploded, and had to pause to think of my actions (momentarily, of course).  In hindsight, it's all quite funny.  Just wish she'd start laughing.  http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sprachlos/speechless-smiley-013.gif

 

Post your dog house experiences so I might learn what other traps to avoid.  Oh my!!!!

These are the times I am glad I am the only animal in the house.. Tooooo much..!!!

[chinadave2001]

Dave, sort of ironic that your dog got you in the dog house...is there room for the two of you in there? Sounds like you two have a special relationship.

Thanks for the laugh!

Chinadave

[frank1538]

Dave, sort of ironic that your dog got you in the dog house...is there room for the two of you in there? Sounds like you two have a special relationship.  

Thanks for the laugh!

Chinadave

Move over little dog. Big ol' dog's movin' in.

[chinadave2001]

hey dave...

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/1/i0/kloguck.gif + http://smilies.sofrayt.com/1/950/guest.gif ] =

Get busy Boy!

[warpedbored]

I would respond Dave, but I am laughing to hard.     

 

Loved the part about where the kid jumped in and talked about the licking of the privates. You got an icon of that or dog slobber in general?

 

Is a Nevada dog house cold?  

What ever you do Dave don't tell the kid he does it because he can. You're in enough trouble already.

 

Bing has never had a dog I told her once that when she gets here my little dog Ralph would probably lick her face. She didn't seem too enthused to say the least. I didn't see many pets when I was in China. Mick, Orrin, You have lived there a long time. What's your take on Chinese attitudes toward pets?

[Mick]

I would respond Dave, but I am laughing to hard.      

 

Loved the part about where the kid jumped in and talked about the licking of the privates. You got an icon of that or dog slobber in general?

 

Is a Nevada dog house cold?  

What ever you do Dave don't tell the kid he does it because he can. You're in enough trouble already.

 

Bing has never had a dog I told her once that when she gets here my little dog Ralph would probably lick her face. She didn't seem too enthused to say the least. I didn't see many pets when I was in China. Mick, Orrin, You have lived there a long time. What's your take on Chinese attitudes toward pets?

Whereas in the past, dogs and cats were used more often as a main course, they are becoming increasingly popular as pets. At least that was true down in Guangdong where I lived. Didn't notice many as pets up in Anhui when I lived there. Recently read an article that reported a rise in rabies cases in China due to lack of vaccinations.

[Dave G.]

Glad ya'll enjoyed it. Damn...it was rough. Finally got her talking. TOTAL cultural difference. Yeah...dogs used to be food. Now, they are pets. Pets that eat other dogs $hit and give people rabies. I had to explain that the standard for care for house dogs in the US is better than what most humans get around the world (at least, my baby gets better medical than I do). She's really struggling to understand it all. So, no more kissing in public. The dog and I will share kisses in secret.

[Mick]

Glad ya'll enjoyed it.  Damn...it was rough.  Finally got her talking.  TOTAL cultural difference.  Yeah...dogs used to be food.  Now, they are pets.  Pets that eat other dogs $hit and give people rabies.  I had to explain that the standard for care for house dogs in the US is better than what most humans get around the world (at least, my baby gets better medical than I do).  She's really struggling to understand it all.  So, no more kissing in public.  The dog and I will share kisses in secret.

Con la lingua?

[se_lang]

Ya know Dave all you had to say was you was tasting the dog not kissing it then she would understand. as for the chop sticks, well homer says it best DOH

[warpedbored]

Glad ya'll enjoyed it.  Damn...it was rough.  Finally got her talking.  TOTAL cultural difference.  Yeah...dogs used to be food.  Now, they are pets.  Pets that eat other dogs $hit and give people rabies.  I had to explain that the standard for care for house dogs in the US is better than what most humans get around the world (at least, my baby gets better medical than I do).  She's really struggling to understand it all.  So, no more kissing in public.  The dog and I will share kisses in secret.

After re reading this thread I came to the conclusion that it is a rather profound display of cultural differences. Not many countries dote on their pets as much as we do. The idea of eating one is abhorent to us. The pet industry in the USA is in the billions of dollars. Like Dave my dog has better health care than I do. He is my kid and I love him dearly. To Bings credit when my 15 year old Cocker spaniel died a year and a half ago she felt sorry for me and suggested I get another dog. Now she worries that Ralph wont like her. I worry she may find him a disgusting animal who licks his privates lol.