How About a New Recorded Message?

[Mick]

Maybe GZ/DOS could consider changing their recorded messages. The old one is just that, getting old. In light of this pressing need, I offer the following:

 

If you would like to be cut off immediately, press 1 now.

 

If you would like to be placed on hold for over an hour, then be cut off, press 2 now.

 

If you would like to listen to Boxcar Willy's Greatest Hits while you are on hold, press 3 now.

 

If you would like to speak with an overworked, stressed-out representative who can't tell you anything, press 4 now.

 

If you would like to speak with a representative who just discovered that her husband is a homosexual, press 5 now.

 

If you would like to speak wiith someone in a more foul mood than #5, press 6 now.

 

If you would like us to lie to you, press 7 now.

 

If you would like to order a VHS of Richard Simmons "Sweatin' to the Oldies", press 8 now.

 

If you would like to order a set of Richard Simmons unwashed leotards, press 9 now.

 

If you would like to have simulated phone sex with Eric, press *# now.

 

If you would like to speak with someone who is up to date about your case and can give you meaningful information, please hang up and try your call again.

 

Anyone got any other suggestions?

[chinadave2001]

Very good Mick!

Speaking of Homosexuals, do you think that Gays and Lesbians in Massachussetts can now sponsor a fiance under a k1?

Chinadave

PS - we are about to get 1 to 2 feet of snow in the next 24 hours.....

[se_lang]

Very good Mick!

Speaking of Homosexuals, do you think that Gays and Lesbians in Massachussetts can now sponsor a fiance under a k1?

Chinadave

PS - we are about to get 1 to 2 feet of snow in the next 24 hours.....

No they can not K-1 is for Adam & eve not adam & Steve

[Mick]

Very good Mick!

Speaking of Homosexuals, do you think that Gays and Lesbians in Massachussetts can now sponsor a fiance under a k1?

Chinadave

PS - we are about to get 1 to 2 feet of snow in the next 24 hours.....

Now I suspect that would make for an interesting interview in GZ if they made it that far.

 

"Ok let me see some photos of the two of you together"....

 

Speaking of weather, we are supposed to have light snow flurries here in the land of cotton tonight with temps in the upper 20's. Got a fire started in the old woodstove and am whuppin' up a pot of special chili tonight. Gotta stay warm ya know. B)

[AZwolfman]

I hope they read this

[bobmal99]

I think the #1 reason shoud be

 

oh you thought you reached someone who actually cared, WRONG AGAIN!!!

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

Very funny Mick, but so far I have not had to deal with any negative beaureucratic interactions (of course I haven't filed any papers yet).

 

I'd like to keep my little naive fantasy going for a little while longer, so I'm going to pretend that I never read this post and that even if I did it's not true anyways.

[Mick]

Very funny Mick, but so far I have not had to deal with any negative beaureucratic interactions (of course I haven't filed any papers yet). 

 

I'd like to keep my little naive fantasy going for a little while longer, so I'm going to pretend that I never read this post and that even if I did it's not true anyways.

In the words of that great sage and my personal hero, Foghorn Leghorn:

 

"Yo time, I say, yo time is gonna come boy".

[frank1538]

In the words of that great sage and my personal hero, Foghorn Leghorn:

 

"Yo time, I say, yo time is gonna come boy".  

Ah yes, the great sage. Just a few more pearls of wisdom from the master:

 

Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball

Boy's like a dead horse - got no get up and go

This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show

You're doing a lot of choppin', but no chips are flyin'

That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart

Kid don't stop talking so much he'll get his tongue sun burned

That boy's so dumb, he thinks the Mexican border pays rent

 

And his most famous:

 

Go away, boy, ya bother me

[chinadave2001]

Very good Mick!

Speaking of Homosexuals, do you think that Gays and Lesbians in Massachussetts can now sponsor a fiance under a k1?

Chinadave

PS - we are about to get 1 to 2 feet of snow in the next 24 hours.....

Now I suspect that would make for an interesting interview in GZ if they made it that far.

 

"Ok let me see some photos of the two of you together"....

 

Speaking of weather, we are supposed to have light snow flurries here in the land of cotton tonight with temps in the upper 20's. Got a fire started in the old woodstove and am whuppin' up a pot of special chili tonight. Gotta stay warm ya know.

Special Chilli? what time do I come over?

[MarkLuvsShuPing]

Thanks for the encouragement boys. Geesch!

 

Y'know us chicken hawks gotta stick together. Lemme at 'em, let me at 'em! I gotta chicken to catch!

[Mick]

In the words of that great sage and my personal hero, Foghorn Leghorn:

 

"Yo time, I say, yo time is gonna come boy".  

Ah yes, the great sage. Just a few more pearls of wisdom from the master:

 

Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball

Boy's like a dead horse - got no get up and go

This is gonna cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show

You're doing a lot of choppin', but no chips are flyin'

That boy's as strong as an ox, and just about as smart

Kid don't stop talking so much he'll get his tongue sun burned

That boy's so dumb, he thinks the Mexican border pays rent

 

And his most famous:

 

Go away, boy, ya bother me

"You doin' a lot of choppin' but no chips are flying"

 

Kind of reminds me of GZ.

 

Fortunately, ah say, fortunately, I keep my feathahs numbered for just such an occassion.

[keelec]

Sorry, I haven't called the GZ Consulate yet, but I thought I might give you a few suggestions:

 

---------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hello, this is the Guangzhou Consulate.

 

Your satisfaction is extremely important to us, and we are working very hard to serve you. If you are calling about a visa application, rest assured that your application is being expedited in the fastest manner possible.

 

While we may not know where your application is, or whether it has even arrived at our service Center 3 months ago, rest assured that it has not been lost, and we will get to it as fast as we possibly can.

 

Please be aware that the Guangzhou consulate will be closed on Tuesday for the Guangzhou versus Beijing Golf tournament.

 

Please Press 1 to hear more information about the Guangzhou Consulate vs Beijing Embassy Golf Tournament scheduled for next Tuesday.

 

Please Press 2 to hear the results of last week’s Guangzhou / Chengdu golf tournament.

 

Please Press 3 if you wish to listen to a reading of the US Constitution including all amendments.

 

Please Press 4 if you wish to listen to a reading of the Federalist Papers followed by a discourse on their interpretation.

 

Please Press 5 you are concerned about unequal treatment and wish to hear a discussion why the statement that “All Men are Created Equally” and the rights of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” WERE NOT part of, nor guaranteed by the US Constitution.

 

Please Press 6 to hear why FRENCH Fries are considered part of an All-American Meal.

 

Please Press 7 if you are an American Citizen and wish to apply for the recently opened grounds keeper position at the US Consulate in Guangzhou

 

Please Press 8 if you need directions to the Beijing Embassy.

 

Please Press 9 if wish to register a complaint -------> This, of course would lead to Hysterical Laughing

 

If you wish to talk to a live representative, please call back during our regular business hours between Noon and 12:00 AM.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------

[keelec]

Very good Mick!

Speaking of Homosexuals, do you think that Gays and Lesbians in Massachussetts can now sponsor a fiance under a k1?

Chinadave

PS - we are about to get 1 to 2 feet of snow in the next 24 hours.....

That would be an interesting question.

 

Which countries allow gay and lesbian marriages? South Africa apparently at least recognizes gay and lesbian relationships, if not marriage.

 

Hmmm, somehow, I think Denmark or Sweden may also be "progressive thinking".

 

What would actually be more interesting would be to see what happens to a Man from Texas would sponsor a Male Spouse under a K3, married in a foreign country like South Africa!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

Oh, hasn't the subject been approached already on the Drew Carey Show?

[warpedbored]

Maybe GZ/DOS could consider changing their recorded messages. The old one is just that, getting old. In light of this pressing need, I offer the following:

 

If you would like to be cut off immediately, press 1 now.

 

If you would like to be placed on hold for over an hour, then be cut off, press 2 now.

 

If you would like to listen to Boxcar Willy's Greatest Hits while you are on hold, press 3 now.

 

If you would like to speak with an overworked, stressed-out representative who can't tell you anything, press 4 now.

 

If you would like to speak with a representative who just discovered that her husband is a homosexual, press 5 now.

 

If you would like to speak wiith someone in a more foul mood than #5, press 6 now.

 

If you would like us to lie to you, press 7 now.

 

If you would like to order a VHS of Richard Simmons "Sweatin' to the Oldies", press 8  now.

 

If you would like to order a set of Richard Simmons unwashed leotards, press 9 now.

 

If you would like to have simulated phone sex with Eric, press *# now.

 

If you would like to speak with someone who is up to date about your case and can give you meaningful information, please hang up and try your call again.

 

Anyone got any other suggestions?

You had me rolling with this one Mick. Good job!