Laowei not welcome

[chengdu4me]

I'm not about to give money to his public school teachers. Here, in China, that would be seen as paying for higher grades. I don't want my son getting any grade he didn't earn. By the end of this term, he will not only know the Algebra that he is being taught, but he will be able to find the answer to any algebraic problem at his level of school. The tutors mandate will be just that. Teach him how algebra works. Teach him the theories and principles of algebra. His science courses will be the same mandate. Teach him about the laws of physics and how to figure out what naturally occurring entities do when interacting with each other.

 

Many students here buy or cheat their way through school and then they end up in college with no idea how they got there or what to do next.

 

As I said earlier...what he does with his education as an adult is up to him. China is full of college graduates with no job right now. That will change. He has 8 years before he is done with school and college. I want him to be able to make the world his workplace. Go anywhere, do anything and he will be able to succeed if he really wants to.

 

Part of the problem is the Chinese students reluctance to ask questions or ask for help. I asked him if he ever asked his teachers for help or if he ever said to them..I don't understand. He said no, he hadn't. I told him that school teachers are teachers because they want to help and that it is up to him to make them earn their pay. I asked him what would happen if he went to McD's and ordered a cheeseburger and they handed him two pieces of bread. Would he accept that and pay full price? He said no. I asked him why I should pay for his education and not get my full value? I said that it is up to him to ensure that I get my full value. He is the negotiator in this transaction. Are you willing to allow your father to be cheated? My money is also your money, we are both being cheated. As usual, he just nodded and laughed.

 

After three hours of studying last night after dinner, he wasn't laughing when he finally went to bed.

[chilton747]

I have a success story to tell you about. My stepson was going through school with an attitude that was not very conducive to learning. All he wanted to do is play with computers and not do assignments. His mother was on him hard but it did not phase him much. She was wanting him to come to the USA but I was against it. He is lazy and add in the extra studying it would take to get ahead here, I just couldn't see him doing it. He refused to come here and this made my wife angry but later she calmed down.

Fast forward a bit to him entering college. (how he got there I don't know). He was studying computers then he had got an offer from the government to design bridges. The interstate system is abot to take off over there so this offer was no surprise. He transferred to a college in Wuhan. While still in college, the government offered him a salary to begin work while he is still in school. For the first time in his life he had a job making money. He is quite the proud young man now and is buying things for his grandparents and offerd to pay his mother's ticket for her to come see him.

He yold his mother that he did not understand why she wanted him to come to the USA where he would have difficulty getting a job. He is no fool, he see the news. He now has free place to live, food, benefits plus a good salary. We are all very happy for him!!

 

Don't know what got him going but whatever it was sure did the trick. From an underachiever to a big achiever, the young man has it made.

[chengdu4me]

Now I'm really pissed! Last week, my son did a great job of studying all evening and he understands to ask questions at school.

I am having a bit of trouble finding tutors for him right now. Seems like everyone that wants tutoring jobs has them...

 

But...today, the school called my wife. My sons hair is too long. It is about two inches long, but apparently the teacher thinks it is too long because it just slightly touches his ear. They kicked him out of school for the day so he can get a haircut! He cannot come back until he has a "proper" haircut! WTF!!!!!

 

So much for thinking that he could possibly get an education at that school. Trying harder and asking questions only gets you kicked out because your hair touches your ears.

 

Oh, the idea of a private school is out the window. All private schools have an entrance exam. They (even my school) told me if he is failing, there is no way he could pass the exam. They (the private schools) only want the best students so they can show off the great results as a recruiting tool.

[credzba]

My sons hair is too long. It is about two inches long, but apparently the teacher thinks it is too long because it just slightly touches his ear. They kicked him out of school for the day so he can get a haircut! He cannot come back until he has a "proper" haircut!

 

I thought that was illegal in public schools now !?!

 

When I was in high school I got kicked out for long hair, but that was a LONG time ago!!

 

Isn't it sexist to say boys must have short hair?

[chengdu4me]

China schools can make any rules they want. I think it is ridiculous to kick him out of class. Even in this authoritarian ruled society, the smarter course of action would have been to tell him to get a haircut before coming to school tomorrow. But then again, here...it is more about conformity than education.

[chengdu4me]

Don, everything except the welfare of my family and the education of my son will continue to roll off my back. I know what the competition here is like for school children and without proper education and focus, they don't stand a chance.

 

I understand that I am automatically on the losing end of anything and everything here, but when it comes to those two things, I can and will raise enough hell that the odds will change in my favor. I will do it the nice way if I am able, but the hard way will come and come fast if I don't see results. When it comes to my sons education, I don't give a damn who loses face or who I humiliate in public.

 

I went to the school today and my wife spoke to the security guard. He still said "no entry". Then my wife told him that he better call the police, because I was going in! So, he called the police. The police came and we talked to them and then an officer of some kind came and I talked to him. His English was passable. I told him he had three choices. 1. Arrest me. 2. Accompany me into the school. 3. Get the Principal and all my sons teachers out here right now. He called the school Principal and then accompanied me into the school offices.

 

I didn't yell or get rude, but I did tell the Principal and his teachers that they can either do their job and teach the students or I can get the press to talk to some of the parents and students. I can also talk to the Minister of Education for Sichuan Province. I told them that they can take their mandatory school attendance laws and shove them. I told them either they do their job and stop worrying about whether my sons hair is 1mm too long, or whether he is wearing a shirt with a hood and start teaching these students or I would take him out of school and home school him.

 

I pointed out to them that after an entire term of his teacher not having enough teaching ability to explain square root multiplication that it only took three minutes for a non-teacher to explain it to him so that he understood it. I told him that he can either stop hiring lazy and inept teachers or he should expect to lose students and money. I told him that I would be talking to every parent of every student that my son knows and that we may all be back in his office if things doesn't change for the better very quickly.

 

Then we left.

 

The police officer that accompanied us into the school said he had never heard or seen such a thing. No one would dare talk to a school Principal that way. I told the police officer that when someone doesn't do the job they have been trusted and paid to do, they deserve an ass-chewing.

 

He agreed and said that he would keep that in mind when his daughter is old enough to go to school. Then he laughed. He said he couldn't wait to see his superiors face when he told him this story!

 

After we got home, my wife's phone rang. It was the Principal. He apologized for his teachers poor performances and promised that my son would get the help he needs in the classroom.

 

We'll see...

 

I'm done playing by their rules....This crazy laowei is going to raise hell if need be to get my son a decent education!

 

My wife is on the phone to some of my sons classmates parents right now. I seem to have gotten her fired up! She has called about 50 parents so far since we got home and she has a big, long list of numbers to call. She has set up a meeting at the community center for this weekend so the parents can get together and discuss this school and it's performance.

Edited December 8, 2009 by chengdu4me (see edit history)

[b.c]

Wow. And I mean wow wow wow. You got a bigger set than I, Larry.

[chengdu4me]

Brian, it isn't a matter of big ones. I love my family. I refuse to accept that he could miss out on a secure future because of incompetent teachers. Regardless of country of residence, I think every parent would do the same.

Edited December 8, 2009 by chengdu4me (see edit history)

[amberjack1234]

Atta boy Larry just as I would have handled it. We are certainly on the same page. The last time that I was in Beijing we had an issue with our nephew but my wife and in laws talked me out of doing just what you did. The only reason that I did not do what you did is that he is not my son and therefore I have less say so in the matter. I think about it often and wish I had done what you did. By taking the passive route the problem still persist today. It's is not his grades that is his problems it is that 3 of the bigger boys beat him up and take his lunch money almost every day while he in school and the teachers will not do anything about it because the 3 boys parents are members of the CCP which in their eyes give them leeway to do as they please.

 

Very good thing that you did not lose your temper or things could have gone in a totally different direction. When you lose your temper you have already lost the battle.

 

It's the old you cant challenge anyone in authority in China attitude.

 

Good job!!!

 

Larry

Edited December 8, 2009 by amberjack1234 (see edit history)

[b.c]

Brian, it isn't a matter of big ones. I love my family. I refuse to accept that he could miss out on a secure future because of incompetent teachers. Regardless of country of residence, I think every parent would do the same.

 

Dont sell yourself short. I dont think every parent would do that. I wouldnt have done it. As a guest in their country, I would have honored their rule and not wanted to make waves. I think a lot of people might not have had the courage to do what you did. And thats what makes it special. Good for you.

[Smitty]

Dude! Those are some cannon balls!

 

http://www.old-picture.com/civil-war/pictures/Cannon-Balls-002.jpg

[chengdu4me]

What I didn't do was lay into them. I was assertive, but polite. I was insistent, but I shut up and listened when any of them tried to speak. I spoke of the teachers long hours and high classroom population. I spoke of the teachers pay. I gave them their excuses for not being able to do a good job as educators. Then I asked them to do better. I told them that this is my son and I am worried and I need their help. I told them that if they felt that teaching was too much of a burden, then they should think about other careers. I asked them to be teachers that students can look back on after their education is over and be able to say that these teachers were helpful. I gave them the ammo to save face, but at the same time forced them to look inwards at themselves to find the problem and the solution to it.

 

I did tell them I would be watching. I told them I would be talking to other parents and students. I told them that I and my son were customers and that our money must be spent on value. I told them I had every right to take my money elsewhere. I told them I had every right to let others know what to expect for their son and daughters at this school. I told them that they alone would determine our next step.

 

I thanked them for listening and for their time.

 

It's not cannonballs...it's heart...I love my family. I love my son.

[Smitty]

We aren't saying that, but go back to the part with the guards and telling them to call the police. That's what I'm referring to. That takes a bit of balls, family or not!

[Carl]

Atta boy Larry just as I would have handled it. We are certainly on the same page. The last time that I was in Beijing we had an issue with our nephew but my wife and in laws talked me out of doing just what you did. The only reason that I did not do what you did is that he is not my son and therefore I have less say so in the matter. I think about it often and wish I had done what you did. By taking the passive route the problem still persist today. It's is not his grades that is his problems it is that 3 of the bigger boys beat him up and take his lunch money almost every day while he in school and the teachers will not do anything about it because the 3 boys parents are members of the CCP which in their eyes give them leeway to do as they please.

 

Very good thing that you did not lose your temper or things could have gone in a totally different direction. When you lose your temper you have already lost the battle.

 

It's the old you cant challenge anyone in authority in China attitude.

 

Good job!!!

 

Larry

 

How old is the nephew?

If it is till happening on your next trip, maybe you can go to school with him, but hang back, and if they start to accost him simply step up and get their attention and have your nephew explain that this big ugly laowei is your uncle, you are the epitome of a foreign devil barbarian and if they don't stop, you will personaly come back, rip their arms off and fed them to them , CCP parents be damned.

[amberjack1234]

Atta boy Larry just as I would have handled it. We are certainly on the same page. The last time that I was in Beijing we had an issue with our nephew but my wife and in laws talked me out of doing just what you did. The only reason that I did not do what you did is that he is not my son and therefore I have less say so in the matter. I think about it often and wish I had done what you did. By taking the passive route the problem still persist today. It's is not his grades that is his problems it is that 3 of the bigger boys beat him up and take his lunch money almost every day while he in school and the teachers will not do anything about it because the 3 boys parents are members of the CCP which in their eyes give them leeway to do as they please.

 

Very good thing that you did not lose your temper or things could have gone in a totally different direction. When you lose your temper you have already lost the battle.

 

It's the old you cant challenge anyone in authority in China attitude.

 

Good job!!!

 

Larry

 

How old is the nephew?

If it is till happening on your next trip, maybe you can go to school with him, but hang back, and if they start to accost him simply step up and get their attention and have your nephew explain that this big ugly laowei is your uncle, you are the epitome of a foreign devil barbarian and if they don't stop, you will personaly come back, rip their arms off and fed them to them , CCP parents be damned.

Thank you Carl. I would love to do just that. I am sure it is the same with most all schools in China they are fenced in with a metal fence with only one entrance with a guard at the gate. I thought about talking to the 3 boys parents nicely at first. The boy is 8 years old. His father is 6 foot 7 inches tall and it looks to me as though he could make his presents known but his mindset is like the rest, you don't mess with the CCP members. I could care less that their parents are CCP members. He does live in another city but he could help out some it seems to me. My thinking is that I should try to handle it nicely once with the boy's parents and then if that don't work lean on the school like Larry did. In the end if our nephew grows up and is as big as his dad the 3 may yet live to regret their actions somewhere down the road. I hope that we can go back this spring. His grandmother wanted me to teach him some hoe to defend himself but that could lead to even greater troubles if he was to injure one of them severely and there are 3 of them that are always together.

 

Larry

Edited December 10, 2009 by amberjack1234 (see edit history)