skibum Posted November 14, 2003 Report Share Posted November 14, 2003 We just got back from the lawyer's office where we had her will drawn up. This was one of several things that I think should be done once she is here. I have also put her name on the house and car. Both are easy to do and you can do them yourself in most cases. This gives her the property if you should die. But the most important I think is to ask if she has had a pap test done and if not, get it done. It seems that most single women are not able to get them in China. Remember, she is the most valuable thing you have and there is a high rate of cancer in China. Link to comment
Mick Posted November 14, 2003 Report Share Posted November 14, 2003 Couldn't agree more about the pap smear Ski. We had one done on Li. Oddly enough, the day she had the pap smear was the day we found out for sure that she was pregnant. Link to comment
tywy_99 Posted November 15, 2003 Report Share Posted November 15, 2003 One thing I need to do is rent a u-haul and go pick up my wife's things from Norfolk. The ship will set sail from Qingdao to Norfolk. 4-6 weeks to arrive. Twelve crates she has on there.Yes, I think I'm gonna have to rent a "BIG" u-haul!............. Link to comment
keelec Posted November 15, 2003 Report Share Posted November 15, 2003 One thing I need to do is rent a u-haul and go pick up my wife's things from Norfolk. The ship will set sail from Qingdao to Norfolk. 4-6 weeks to arrive. Twelve crates she has on there.Yes, I think I'm gonna have to rent a "BIG" u-haul!............. Twelve Crates? What did she do? Disassemble the whole house and ship it? I am expecting Irina to come with 1, or possibly 2 suitcases!!!! That is, if the Visa ever gets completed. ------ Clifford ------ Link to comment
chinadave2001 Posted November 15, 2003 Report Share Posted November 15, 2003 Hi all, Having experienced a failed relationship, I have been contacted by a few folks that are also having troubles....usually privately by email or pm...you get the idea...On the basis of that information, I would like to make a couple of generalizations that mayb be helpful to some of you. Maybe this will come across the wrong way, but what the hell...here goes...1. Like many American couples, money seems to be an issue for some couples.....2. Some Chinese women feel very insecure without their own source of income. They do not want to be totally dependent of their husbands. They also want to contribute to the overall welfare of the family and not be looked "down on" for not working or contributing. This is very important to them as it is a matter of face....and as such, is very important. 3. Some guys, who are not 100% confident about their relationship, keep their money close at hand and do not hand over the keys... so to speak. 4. Our system is fundamentally very different than that of China. Do not assume that she understands what you are talking about. The mere fact that you have explained it does not mean she understands.....explain it again and then try to assess her understanding....5. If conditions 2 and 3 are present in the same relationship, this is a formula for trouble.....she's looking for independence and trust from him, and he doesn't want to give it....I know of at least three couples who are having trouble in this way.... I am not really sure how this potential conflict is successfully avoided - maybe others who have had better experiences can share some ideas. I do know that for some couples, money matters are creating some real problems...Chinadave Link to comment
Dave G. Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 Things to do when she gets here??? Here's my Top 10 List.... 10. Accept the fact that eating Western food is as foriegn to her as us eating things like rabbit heads, duck tongues, goose intestine, etc. It's a battle you won't likely win so don't fight it. 9. The universal marrital conflict of money. Remember that Chinese are always converting USD to RMB in their heads. A trip to a nice restaurant is viewed as money that could have been used to purchase a month's worth of food. 8. Driving and independence. Jing Mei has been hankering to drive. Let her drive around the area today....almost killed her kid who followed on his bike. Try a few "gam beis" before venturing out. 7. Don't worry about cleaning before she gets here. When she does finally arrive, the house will NEVER be clean enough. 6. Turning off lights = larger Costco outings. 5. K2 beneficiaries: Locks on doors benefit K1 beneficiaries. (Coitis inter-what???) 4. Accept that -- no matter how long you've been single -- that you couldn't have survived without her. She'll remind you of that daily. 3. Hide anything you use on a regular basis. After she arrives, you'll never find it again when she reorganizes your house. 2. Use medical doctors sparingly. Chinese don't need them in China....why do they need them here??? And Number 1: Get yourself prepared to be with the Western Ideal of a mate. One who cooks, cleans, loves...and is truly happy do so. No wonder Western women get so jealous of these gals! Link to comment
se_lang Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 And Number 1: Get yourself prepared to be with the Western Ideal of a mate. One who cooks, cleans, loves...and is truly happy do so. No wonder Western women get so jealous of these gals!My ex cooked and cleaned(at first) not sure if she ever loved and I know she was never happy cause her bitching never stopped and that hell lasted 14 looooooooooong years, So I think I can handle a woman who is just happy to be my wife. all the rest is just "Value added" Link to comment
skibum Posted November 18, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 Well, I guess for some the first thing to do is a pre-nupual agreement! I was going on the assumption that there was true love on both sides. We lived together for a total of 4 months in China and never had the first disagreement. That trend has continued since she got here in March. My main point was to watch out for her health if you want to keep her. The PAP is important and I am very glad I thought to have her get one. They don't need them in China because they have so many people they won't miss a few. I sure would miss this one. Link to comment
keelec Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 Well, I guess for some the first thing to do is a pre-nupual agreement!Hmmm, Make sure you read some of the lively discussions from the past. Apparently many Chinese women feel that the idea of a prenup is insulting so weigh the decision carefully. But, of course, the ultimate decision belongs to what you and your fiancee feel comfortable with. Review the following discussions. Some of the discussions border on being quite colorful http://candleforlove.com/forums/index....=ST&f=13&t=3606 http://candleforlove.com/forums/index....0&hl=prenuptial ----- Cliff ----- Link to comment
skibum Posted November 18, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 I will bet that alot of American women feel that way also! Link to comment
Dave G. Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 Ask Don about pre-nups. His favorite topic! Link to comment
warpedbored Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 Groan!! lets not start that again. I do have to admit though that the Chinese ladies thoughts on the matter were enlightening from a cultural differences standpoint, Link to comment
Dave G. Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 Groan!! lets not start that again. I do have to admit though that the Chinese ladies thoughts on the matter were enlightening from a cultural differences standpoint,Oh, Carl....don't we owe it to our new members to share our wealth of knowledge? Why should we deny them??? http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/mittelgrosse/medium-smiley-099.gif Link to comment
Dave G. Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 Ask Don about pre-nups. His favorite topic!LEAST favorite! Oh Don...don't be so bitter your wife made you sign one. Where is she anyway? This could be a job for Scoooby Doooooo............. Link to comment
Mick Posted November 18, 2003 Report Share Posted November 18, 2003 Ask Don about pre-nups. His favorite topic!LEAST favorite! Oh Don...don't be so bitter your wife made you sign one. Where is she anyway? This could be a job for Scoooby Doooooo.............I was thinking about starting a thread on the topic Don. Whaddya think? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now