A chance to vent and ask for help.

[RobertH]

I think this is more of a way to get things off my chest. First off I am in no way having second thoughts. I love Hui very much and cant wait to start our life together.

 

I dont really know where to start, I am feeling very frustrated. Nothing is really going wrong but my mind is filled with a endless string of What if's.

 

What if They say I dont make enoufgh money....What if I dont screw up gathering the items she will need for her interview....What if she has her interview before my 2009 Tax returns are ready.... What if..What if...What if...

 

I know I have a pricelss reasource here for answering questions, but I still worry.

 

I find myself being overly sensitive and seeming needy in my relationship with Hui. I have no doubt she loves me but I was starting to come accross as impatient to her. She told me she loves me very much but has bad feel of late because she thinks I was being impatient man. Then she also said she thinks maybe I am impatient because I miss her. I will post her Email for you to read.

 

"i awake up and had breakfast,i read your letter,i think you didnot understand my mean about my school

> > i said i not want go to the need live on school room that English School,i want to a school but it will not need me live there.

> > another,i said i will get the possport tomorrow.

> > oh i love you but i feel bad from you,your Character is very impatient?but we met i feel you are a warm man.maybe you wish see me early then you impatient?

> > the 6000cny if i not use in school i will use in my live.

> > ok we chat in msn soon.

> > hui"

 

I know I was being pushy about the school and I backed off based on all of your advise. i was just very worried because I heard 80% of women who do not speak good english were given Blue or White slips.

 

I have backed way off now as I relaize it was my frustration with the slow pace of the K-1 was making me a bit insane.

 

Please tell me how I can repair any bad feelings she may have. I already told her she dose not need to go to the school if it makes her unhappy and I was sorry if I was impatient to her.

 

You all have Chinese women in your lives how would you make it up to her?

 

Robert

[Feathers268]

Just let it pass and move on. I have found with Jen, she just doesn't hold on to things like I do and has usually put it behind her. If anything, just explain to her how the visa process is making you a bit crazy.

[warpedbored]

Words are almost meaningless with Chinese. Actions carry much more weight. Man up and show strength, confidence then back it up with action.

[david_dawei]

frustrated.... Nothing is really going wrong but... a endless string of What if's.... What if... What if... What if... What if..What if...What if...:

 

worry... overly sensitive... seeming needy... impatient... impatient...impatient

 

pushy...worried

please read your own words... your like a ticking time bomb

 

I have backed way off now as I relaize it was my frustration with the slow pace of the K-1 was making me a bit insane.

You just filed less than a month ago,.. this is the easiest part of the process.... some K#s are process faster than we've seen in 4 years.

 

Please tell me how I can repair any bad feelings she may have. I already told her she dose not need to go to the school if it makes her unhappy and I was sorry if I was impatient to her.

Honestly, I think you need to join a gym and work off some anxiety. She needs to see that your together mentally and emotionally; then she will feel more secure.

[usaRichard]

I dont really know where to start, I am feeling very frustrated. Nothing is really going wrong but my mind is filled with a endless string of What if's.

 

What if They say I dont make enoufgh money....Are you so close to the low limit that this is a worry? Then prepare, can you ask someone to be a sponser?

What if I dont screw up gathering the items she will need for her interview....That would be best, if you didn't screw up, so no worries there

What if she has her interview before my 2009 Tax returns are ready.... What if..What if...What if...

What if a huge metor strikes the earth and we all die, you can worry about anything, but nothing will change because of it. Use your energy to prepare, learn, and enjoy this unique time in your relationship. After she arrives you will move on with a new set of life circumstances, live for now, not what could or might be based upon your fear.

 

I know I have a pricelss reasource here for answering questions, but I still worry.

fear is F.E.A.R.= False Evidence Appearing Real

 

Robert

[RobertH]

Wow I feel I am getting a bit blasted here....And I think deservedly so. You guys are all correct. I had let it get me a bit worked up. I will do my best to be better...

 

I guess I just felt Hui withdrawls.... It sucks to be alone.

 

Robert

[Dennis143]

Wow I feel I am getting a bit blasted here....And I think deservedly so. You guys are all correct. I had let it get me a bit worked up. I will do my best to be better...

 

I guess I just felt Hui withdrawls.... It sucks to be alone.

 

Robert

You're getting blasted by the truth from men who've been there, are far removed from the wait process today and who now give you invaluable advice.

 

Here's mine...don't over think things. Relax, breathe, and learn patience. That last part, patience, will come in handy later. I will emphasize a prior post; show her that you're strong and that you are her rock to lean on.

[RobertH]

Wow I feel I am getting a bit blasted here....And I think deservedly so. You guys are all correct. I had let it get me a bit worked up. I will do my best to be better...

 

I guess I just felt Hui withdrawls.... It sucks to be alone.

 

Robert

You're getting blasted by the truth from men who've been there, are far removed from the wait process today and who now give you invaluable advice.

 

Here's mine...don't over think things. Relax, breathe, and learn patience. That last part, patience, will come in handy later. I will emphasize a prior post; show her that you're strong and that you are her rock to lean on.

 

 

I think you found the right word. I Overthink things. I will just let go and trust in God to let things go well.

 

Robert

Edited September 4, 2009 by RobertH (see edit history)

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

Wow I feel I am getting a bit blasted here....And I think deservedly so. You guys are all correct. I had let it get me a bit worked up. I will do my best to be better...

 

I guess I just felt Hui withdrawls.... It sucks to be alone.

 

Robert

You're getting blasted by the truth from men who've been there, are far removed from the wait process today and who now give you invaluable advice.

 

Here's mine...don't over think things. Relax, breathe, and learn patience. That last part, patience, will come in handy later. I will emphasize a prior post; show her that you're strong and that you are her rock to lean on.

Music helps the world go around.

 

[Dennis143]

Wow I feel I am getting a bit blasted here....And I think deservedly so. You guys are all correct. I had let it get me a bit worked up. I will do my best to be better...

 

I guess I just felt Hui withdrawls.... It sucks to be alone.

 

Robert

You're getting blasted by the truth from men who've been there, are far removed from the wait process today and who now give you invaluable advice.

 

Here's mine...don't over think things. Relax, breathe, and learn patience. That last part, patience, will come in handy later. I will emphasize a prior post; show her that you're strong and that you are her rock to lean on.

 

 

I think you found the right word. I Overthink things. I will just let go and trust in God to let things go well.

 

Robert

As long as you've covered all your bases there's nothing to worry about.

 

Yes, let God do your worrying.

[david_dawei]

Wow I feel I am getting a bit blasted here....And I think deservedly so. You guys are all correct. I had let it get me a bit worked up. I will do my best to be better...

 

I guess I just felt Hui withdrawls.... It sucks to be alone.

 

Robert

You're getting blasted by the truth from men who've been there, are far removed from the wait process today and who now give you invaluable advice.

 

Here's mine...don't over think things. Relax, breathe, and learn patience. That last part, patience, will come in handy later. I will emphasize a prior post; show her that you're strong and that you are her rock to lean on.

 

 

I think you found the right word. I Overthink things. I will just let go and trust in God to let things go well.

 

Robert

As long as you've covered all your bases there's nothing to worry about.

 

Yes, let God do your worrying.

and there's always Er Guo Tou for the rest of it

[Craig and Mingjun]

Well, I haven't been here for a while, but my lovely bride to be (we are getting married 9-9-9) speaks English poorly, but she got a visa. It took over a year from filing 129-F to having a visa, but she is here now and we are living the dream!

 

[A Mafan]

Words are almost meaningless with Chinese. Actions carry much more weight. Man up and show strength, confidence then back it up with action.

+10000

 

This is "how to make a woman happy" in a nutshell.

It takes work to grow into this, and takes changing habits of thought and action. But persistence is the key.

[Feathers268]

Everyone here was worried at some point in the prosess. Hell, I had 15 months of worry followed by the greatest joy I could imagine.

Trust me, after 4 years of marriage, looking back on the visa experience seems a lot different.

[Guest Pommey]

As others have said, try not to overthink it, relax, the wait will soon be over.