I NEED ANSWERS NOT MORE QUESTIONS!!

[monte]

Dear CFL,

 

Thank you all for the great responses.

 

Even though no one did answer the question about having to register marriage in provincial capital rather than home town as of Oct.1. Or at least nobody has definitively answered yet.

 

At any rate maybe some of you would provide the definitions of a few abbreviations or words that I am not familiar with, please!!

 

MeiMei= sweetheart? Lover? Wife?

 

NVC and GZ=?

 

TSC=?

 

“Alaska files with NSC”=?

 

Chinese size 36=? American size?? (Ruwei is 5’3” and weighs 117lbs)

 

What does a “Traditional Wedding” entail?

 

Does “Traditional Wedding” involve a “Traditional Wedding Gift” if so what??

 

What is the big thing about “the world of cotton socks”?

 

Have all you guys out there been totally confused by all the contradictory information on the web regarding Chinese attitudes, customs, and daily life???

 

Three Cantonese language websites, same phrases or words said three different ways, whas up wi dat!

 

I’m sure some of these questions seem pretty simple to you more experienced members, but, remember I live on a relatively remote island in

SE Alaska (600 mile swim to Seattle, WA) with a distinct lack of resources providing any insight on these matters. I try to learn as much as possible about the 1,000,000 related subjects but as soon as I develop an opinion or reach a conclusion based on the given data it is contradicted by the next website, CFL posting, or publication I purchase. What to do? Oh, What to do?

 

Maybe I should just accept CFL info as gospel and ignore the rest?

[MoonCarolCafe]

Hello Monte. First, check here for a list of acronyms (so you'll know what I mean when I say my MM-de GG welcomes you aboard).

 

I made the remark "...the world of cotton socks...". before I met my wife she always bought synthetic/nylon/polyester socks. I have been a life-long fan of cotton clothing, and my wife is now a convert to the first church of the 100% cotton sock.

 

As for accepting CFL as gospel, uhh... I'd advise that you not. take it as a guide for certain, but not as gospel.

 

I cannot help you with the Chinese traditional wedding gift. Our wedding was sort of a Las Vegas style event, and I have only been to Taiwanese style weddings.

[Dave G.]

Monte....

 

How can I say this without offending? I don't want to. But, let me share some observations.

 

You are an adult and need to have your own mind. Your decisions ultimately will determine the direction your fate will take you.

 

You and I signed up on this board around the same time. But, look at our "blue thingies." Am I more verbose than you? Or, have I spent more time on Candle? I don't know.

 

All your questions are valid. MoonCarolCafe was nice to point you in the direction of abbreviations. Cotton socks is a superficial topic in the grand scheme of things. And as far as the registering for marriage in China...maybe nobody really knows the answer to your question. I sure don't. Maybe I'm lazy, but I found the K-1 route much easier than having to go through TWO bureaucracies. One was plenty for me.

 

You say you are in a remote area with few resources. But, you have the internet. The world is at your fingertips. You can find the same things we do.

 

May I tell you my secret? CFL saved my sanity through this cumbersome process. The support, friendship, and advice I've received has been incredible. I read most postings and have gotten to know the "personalities" and reliability of the members here. Some folks I've learned to take with a grain of salt; others' offerings I take very seriously. I suggest you try to learn the same. But, no matter who suggests what, I take their suggestions and try to find an independent source of the info. I am responsible for my decisions....I want to make the best, informed decisions I can.

 

Like MoonCarolCafe noted, we are all dealing with people from different parts of China. Important subtleties. My fiancée is from Sichuan. Ah...them Sichuan gals! The food is hot and spicy...so are the women. Hao La! Go to Harbin and you'll see something totally different.

 

Let your gal teach you what you need to know. Then, compare that to what people have to think on Candle. Then, form your own opinion.

 

Sorry to lecture.....sometimes I can't help myself. Just ask the people on Candle who have gotten to know me.http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/w/thumbs.gif

 

Good luck and be patient!

 

Dave

[owenkrout]

"Have all you guys out there been totally confused by all the contradictory information on the web regarding Chinese attitudes, customs, and daily life??? "

 

Mostly caused by the fact that different regions of China have different attitudes, customs, and daily life. Huge differences between the rural areas and the modern mega-cities. Even big differences between the mega-cities with common contact with the outside world and those that have little.

 

"Three Cantonese language websites, same phrases or words said three different ways, whas up wi dat!"

 

Different dialects. China is filled with mutually unintelligable dialects, most using the same characters to write with. Cantonese is not even the "official" language according to the national government, Mandarian or Putonghua is.

 

"Chinese size 36=? American size?? (Ruwei is 5’3” and weighs 117lbs)"

Ah, the problems of converting sizes!! Garment sizes in China may be anything from traditional Chinese system that I never figured out, to European, to American or some weird size that doesn't seem to work with any of those. The result of making clothing for all the rest of the world.

 

"What does a “Traditional Wedding” entail?"

All according to where your sweetheart is from and how much she wants to stick to ancient Chinese culture. Unless she chooses the simplicity of just registering with the government, (not likely) it is bound to be a real production and lots of fun.

[Guest Se_Lang]

Have all you guys out there been totally confused by all the contradictory information on the web regarding Chinese attitudes, customs, and daily life???

 

I have a folder of about 170 links to many things Chinese to confuse you more if you like I can mail them to you

 

Many good language/culture links.

 

Also many good visa links but until the BCIS knows what they are doing we never will, I have been lost through it all so just read read read and double & triple check your sources and even then you might be wrong

[Dave G.]

I guess I am too verbose. Owen and Se Lang said in fewer words than what I could.

 

Keep your chin up and your mind open. http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/_950/cleverman.gif

 

Dave

[Guest Se_Lang]

Dear CFL,

 

Thank you all for the great responses. 

 

Even though no one did answer the question about having to register marriage in provincial capital rather than home town as of Oct.1.  Or at least nobody has definitively answered yet.

 

Sorry, I went back to reread the thread and I think I led the thread astray I seen a news article somewhere on that topic I think there is a link here someplace, But I think the Chinese or US embassy would be best place to start. If I find anything more I will let you know, Check Yahoo news also I think last week or week before they wrote something about it.

[Guest Se_Lang]

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=stor...sier_marriage_3

[Guest Se_Lang]

This is from Chinese embassy search engine

 

http://www.china-embassy.org/visapassport/.../english/jh.htm

 

Information on Marriage with a Chinese citizen

 

 

Chinese citizens living in U.S. or foreigners wishing to go to China to marry a Chinese Citizen should know that the legal marriage age in China is 22 or above for males, and 20 or above for females according to Chinese law. Bigamy is illegal.

 

Before going to China, the following documents should be prepared:

 

1. Your non-spouse certificate, which indicates your name, sex, date and place of birth, nationality, personal identification documents number, marital status (never married or divorced or widowed) and the name of your fianc¨¦e/fianc¨¦. The divorced should have a divorce certificate and the widowed should have a death certificate of the ex-spouse; and must declare that he/she has never gotten married since then and remained single.

 

2. Certificate of profession or reliable income issued by his/her employer.

 

Before going to China to get married, you should have the above-mentioned documents notarized by a local notary public, authenticated by the Secretary of State of the State where the documents come from, and further authenticated by the Secretary of State of the U.S. State Department. It must then be authenticated by the Embassy of China.

 

After entering China with the above said documents and a valid Chinese Visa, you should go together with your fiancee/fianc¨¦, submit in person your marriage application to the marriage registration office of the local government above county level where the Chinese fiancee/fianc¨¦ resides and, have your health checked by a designated hospital. The marriage can be registered only after the application is ratified, and the Marriage Certificate is issued upon registration.

[monte]

Thank for all the positive input folks, even thanks for the non-positive input.

 

I thought I had, somehow, in my 49 years become an adult and responsible for my own decisions, but thanks for pointing that out to me Dave.

 

As for my "lack of resources" and having the internet: many postings on CFL refer to Chinese friends, Chinese co-workers, past trips to China, Chinese neighbors, Chinese etc., etc., I have none of these type of resources,. The one Chinese food restaurant in town recently took down their Chinese food sign and changed it to Thai food signage. Same cooks, same owners, same place. Go figure.

 

The referral to the acronym page was greatly appreciated thank you MoonCarolCafe. Still a couple that I don't quite understand but I'll work it out somehow.

 

Owen, thanks for the help! Still feel like I'm trying to get a grip on water though.

 

Se Lang great thanks for the offer of your list of sites, however, that is my very problem, too many sites saying different things now, no need for more at present, so I'll take a rain check on your offer if OK with you.

 

Dave G, I don't mean to offend either but one of my observations is that you need to work on your skill at "not offending". Just because a person prefaces patronizing remarks with "I don't mean to offend" they do not have free license to go ahead and offend. You are right though, my verbosity doesn't approach yours.

 

Thanks again, Monte

[frank1538]

What does a “Traditional Wedding?entail?

 

Does “Traditional Wedding?involve a “Traditional Wedding Gift?if so what??

 

Monte,

 

Since your fiancee lives in Zhanjiang, same as mine, I will be more than happy to share with you my experience with the wedding. But, as Owen suggests, what is custom or tradition for Jingwen may not be the same for Ruwei. Incidentally, mine was a quasi traditional ceremonial wedding that was not registered. That's why I couldn't answer your question about where marriages are registered in Guangdong.

 

As Owen points out, take the cues from Ruwei. I am sure she will tell you exactly what type of wedding she wants. Jingwen certainly did.

 

Maybe you are starting to realize that there is so much diversity and variety in China. That is part of the reason why you will get varied answers to questions. Hell, even BCIS is different from city to city, and a question about Miami may produce an answer that is totally wrong for San Francisco, Atlanta, or Anchorage.

 

That's what makes CFL so helpful. You get many ideas and suggestions, some good, some not so good, but it gives you a flavor of how things are in China, how we adapt to the cultural differences, how we endure long separations, and how we prepare for the eventual day when we are joined with our loved ones.

 

Maybe some of the information will apply to your situation, maybe not. But, for me, it has always been a learning experience. Even this old dog has learned a few new tricks along the way.

 

Good luck

[Patrick & Li]

Monte,

I too was utterly confused at the start, In fact i dont consider myself a veteran by any stretch. Everyday in this process i feel a bit of confusion, but everyday i also just jump in feet first and hope like hell i can manage. I learn a little from the other peoples posts, and i am constantly searching the internet for more information. A lot of the questions you pose i have no experience in, and some of the things you ask about have changed since i started. So excuse me if I or no-one else here gives you the answer you are looking for, but the reason probably is....We don't know!

I only answer questions that i am certain that i know.

 

Patrick & Li

[frank1538]

Monte, I was reading a few posts this morning on Asian American Couples.

 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asian_American_Couples/

 

One post was from a guy who just got married in Zhanjiang and registered the marriage locally. Might want to check it out.

[Bobby]

I'd have to agree with Patrick.. This is a tough processes, to say it is overwhelming is an understatement. I did a lot of research before making the final decision to go with a K1 and still ended up wrong on a lot of counts. My suggestion would be to take things one day at a time.. I cut my process into a series of phases and am attacking them one at a time.

 

As for the marriage registration. As far as I know, if you want to go the K-3 route, you must be legally married in the country in question. If that requires that you register, then do that. If by registering in GZ you mean registering with the consulate, I would recommend you call them or e-mail them to make sure of the facts (I usually e-mail them, they are usually quite kind) on any point of confusion.

 

As for annoying people. This is a tough process and a very emotionally trying thing. Unless someone is offering advice or fact of process, take any of these posting with a grain of salt.

 

I don't know if this info helps, but at least I gave it a shot

[Mick]

Monte, I was reading a few posts this morning on Asian American Couples.

 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Asian_American_Couples/

 

One post was from a guy who just got married in Zhanjiang and registered the marriage locally.  Might want to check it out.

You may have a point here Frank. Shenzhen, Xiamen, Shantou, and Zhuhai are all "Special Economic Zones". The local governments in these cities have a lot more latitude in things than in other cities. Maybe the rules are different. Just a thought.