MarkHui Posted January 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 The Chinese expert syndrome is something almost all of us go through. I don't really understand it because I always take my wife's word for it about anything pertaining to China. Be sure to keep it to yourself while the so called expert is proved wrong a few times and what ever you do don't say "I told you so". Wrong when you are right?Or.No glories in being right? Link to comment
sweattrl1 Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Carl you say it so well Link to comment
warpedbored Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 If you rub her face in it when she is wrong she will lose face. As her husband you are supposed to be above such pettiness. Link to comment
MarkHui Posted January 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 If you rub her face in it when she is wrong she will lose face. As her husband you are supposed to be above such pettiness. Okay, but if one does not make a point of not being wrong does loose face with her? Link to comment
chilton747 Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 If you rub her face in it when she is wrong she will lose face. As her husband you are supposed to be above such pettiness. Okay, but if one does not make a point of not being wrong does loose face with her? What I have learned is that when there is a disagreement then find out the truth and then let it be. As Carl said, reminding her that she is wrong will possibly cause her to lose face. No need to make a point of not being wrong. It will get you nowhere fast. Be gentle with her. Link to comment
warpedbored Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Let me put it this way, as the man you are expected to overlook these things. They are not worth worrying about. She knows when she is wrong and doesn't need to be reminded of it. After it happens a few times she will no longer question your knowledge. You will notice it but again you don't need to bring that to her attention. It becomes kind of a silent agreement. Link to comment
Richard & Li Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Let me put it this way, as the man you are expected to overlook these things. They are not worth worrying about. She knows when she is wrong and doesn't need to be reminded of it. After it happens a few times she will no longer question your knowledge. You will notice it but again you don't need to bring that to her attention. It becomes kind of a silent agreement. I agree 100%. When it comes the to the 'Chinese Expert Syndrome': I don't fight it if it's not important. If it is important, be gentle. Link to comment
chengdu4me Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 If you rub her face in it when she is wrong she will lose face. As her husband you are supposed to be above such pettiness. Okay, but if one does not make a point of not being wrong does loose face with her? No, you won't lose face when you are right. As you are supposed to be the "Big Tree", bend...when the wind blows; cover...to protect from rain; but never let your branches fall on her... in other words...wisdom, strength, compassion, patience.......all these (and others) are the ingredients of love... Link to comment
MikeXiao Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 (edited) I just give my wife my say, then we see who is right when it is over. I never say I told you so. My wife and I see the final result, look at each other, then go on with business. But biting the tongue sure hurts sometimes. Edited January 26, 2009 by MikeXiao (see edit history) Link to comment
david_dawei Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 No, you won't lose face when you are right. As you are supposed to be the "Big Tree", bend...when the wind blows; cover...to protect from rain; but never let your branches fall on her...um.. not sure I agree... 'face' is not an ethical issue which is concerned with right vs wrong... it bends whichever way the wind blows so that non-interference maintains the balance; In daoism, this might be considered, in western-speak, righting the wrong... but it comes natural to the native. Link to comment
chengdu4me Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 I think you miss my point, David. He can be right, and he can correct her error, but just like wind through a tree, let it go by without announcement or notice... Link to comment
david_dawei Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 I think you miss my point, David. He can be right, and he can correct her error, but just like wind through a tree, let it go by without announcement or notice...I get it... but why worry about being 'right' or not... that's my point... Link to comment
carl.hops Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 (edited) My GF talks with a friend and now thinks I am wrong. "No can do visa K3 from HK, needa send me data about this thing, if can then trust you"Can no copy web of talk needa proof that can visa from HK God, one step forward and two steps back. Here we go again, this is something that I was in constant battle with my ex. Well, wish I could give you some valuable advice, but you may not want to hear it Edited January 26, 2009 by carl.hops (see edit history) Link to comment
Dan R Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 I think you miss my point, David. He can be right, and he can correct her error, but just like wind through a tree, let it go by without announcement or notice...I get it... but why worry about being 'right' or not... that's my point... She is always right. You are either supportive or blind to a wrong. Link to comment
carl.hops Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 The Chinese expert syndrome is something almost all of us go through. I don't really understand it because I always take my wife's word for it about anything pertaining to China. Be sure to keep it to yourself while the so called expert is proved wrong a few times and what ever you do don't say "I told you so". this is expert advice Link to comment
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