Differences of opinion on Candle

[gail_loves]

I don't agree with OF, however, he does give us all perspectives that we will face in life -- regardless of where your fiance is from. Every board has these and to ban them is useless as they come back with new ids trying to prove a point. I think PJ is right -- let him rattle. We have choices as to what we read and our reaction. I personally ignored his posts because I know he evidently has a minimal education, if any, and has no real "people" skills. So why waste my time trying to educate him in the ways of life?

 

Within your life you will be insulted by many people for various reasons. The one true thing to remember -- you alone know if the person is right or not about what they are saying. If you truly know it in your heart and mind, then why should you have to defend yourself or feel insulted. People are going to think and do what they want -- we can't control that. But we can control what we think, what we say, and how we react.

 

Looking at the positive side, it is people like OF that toughen us up to deal with the same issues he presents here on the board -- but in our everyday life when our fiances come. By then we have been exposed for so long, it doesn't even matter to us. We have the ability at that point to laugh at their ignorance.

[Jatuke]

FYI.

 

Well OF has sent some annoying PMs to me.

[tunger88]

He has his right to post as long as it's within the guideline. But we have our rights not to read his post. If anyone feels offensive about OF's posts, than I suggest you not to read them.

[tywy_99]

He has his right to post as long as it's within the guideline.  But we have our rights not to read his post.  If anyone feels offensive about OF's posts, than I suggest you not to read them.

We also have a right to counteract any post.

 

"What's good for the goose, is good for the gander."

[beishan4]

Aloha from Hawaii,

Opinions are like a-- h----, everybody has one. However, opinions should be written in a

way that does not use offensive language. I am happy with my chinese wife here in Hawaii.

Myles

[owenkrout]

Personally, my impression at this point is that I don't care for OF and I have found him to be offensive.

 

That being said, I still would not say that he has gone to the point yet where I would be in favor of censoring him. Being one of the moderators, I could have done so if I felt that he deserved it.

 

I do want to take the opportunity to state that one of the strong points of this forum is that we can exchange views and still remain civilized about it. That is we have set a higher standard for ourselves. We can disagree without being offensive or crude. Having to resort to crude language or to insults is only an indication of one's inability to communicate effectively in a civilized manner. If one can't manage it, then this is not the forum for them.

 

Let us show respect for each other. If you can't do that then please leave the forum and find one of the other venues which fits your style. They abound on the internet.

[Dave G.]

So, is there closure on this topic? I think not. Some seem to want to "turn the other cheek." Some want to have permission to engage in discussion, provided it doesn't get too personal or ugly.

 

For me? I've engaged others in the past after having the reactions Rob discussed. I've tried very hard to pick my works well. No profanity (not easy for me), no put downs....just fair banter. Some of the "old folks" have stepped in and said, "Whoa....back on topic." I heard that as "shut up and stop."

 

I want to be able to confront stupid things, just like Sarah has done (you go girl!!!). I don't want to be told to shut up. I want to treat people respectfully and to be treated with respect. I don't want my fiancée, her son, or our baby demeaned. But, the squeaky wheel does get the grease. When done right, let's run any process to its natural conclusion. So please, PJ, don't lock topics prematurely. Don, have faith in us. Old Fart, post your thoughts but be respectful. SanFranman8, continue to add reality testing for all even though some see it otherwise.

 

I really meant what I said. I LOVE Candle. Can I tell everyone why? Honestly??? It provides me a healthy outlet. We are all in a situation where we have little control. I get angry, sad, mad, happy, hopeful....I run the gambit of feelings as I wait for Jing Mei to "come home." I learn much from others and appreciate the chance to express my thoughts...my concerns....online. Candle makes me feel like I'm doing something. That's so important for me.

 

Thanks to all. I think you are all wonderful. One last thing....jade_yan. You are still a mystery to so many of us. We're intrigued! We want to know you better.

 

Cheers. Relax. It's the weekend. Nothing more we can do this week. All the government offices are closed. Enjoy the time with your loved ones.

 

Amen, and amen. Thus endith the lecture.

[Eric&Yuhui]

Amen to that..

[Dave G.]

Amen to that..

At least we agree on something. Tee hee.....

 

Cheers.

[Eric&Yuhui]

Amen to that..

At least we agree on something. Tee hee.....

 

Cheers.

I don't really remember disagreeing on anything..

[Dave G.]

Amen to that..

At least we agree on something. Tee hee.....

 

Cheers.

I don't really remember disagreeing on anything..

Just a joke. White Zin vs. Chardonnay. Fun banter. I wish others could recognize unimportant topics.

 

Congrats to you and yours.

 

Dave

[Eric&Yuhui]

Amen to that..

At least we agree on something. Tee hee.....

 

Cheers.

I don't really remember disagreeing on anything..

Just a joke. White Zin vs. Chardonnay. Fun banter. I wish others could recognize unimportant topics.

 

Congrats to you and yours.

 

Dave

Btw.. About the " Wa Shin Ka" thing that was unclear in my recent post.... I think it came from a Chinese crash course I learned ...

(Pronouce with English accent, eff curse )

 

Ai Bang Mai Ne -I bumped into the coffee table

Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift

Dum Gai- A stupid person

Gun Pao Der -An ancient Chinese invention

Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?

Hu Yu Hai Ding -We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive

Jan Ne Ka Sun- A former late night talk show host

Kum Hia - Approach me

Lao Ze Sho - Gilligan's Island

Lao Ze -Not very good

Lin Ching- An illegal execution

Moon Lan Ding -A great achievement of the American space program

Ne Ahn -A lighting fixture used in advertising signs

Shai Gai -A bashful person

Tai Ne Po Ne- A small horse

Ten Ding Ba - Serving drinks to people

Yu Mai Te Tan- Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you

Wa Shing Kah- Cleaning an automobile

Wai So Dim -Are you trying to save electricity?

Wai U Shao Ting -There is no reason to raise your voice

 

 

Just the light side of things kiddos..... no offense

Yuhui got a kick out of that, keeps saying " Wai so Dim " to my boss at our trade show in Germany because the lighting wasn't soo great....

[Guest bbridges51]

OK, here's my two cents worth.

 

AOF is pushing your buttons and many of you are letting him do it. That is, when you react to him, you validate his purpose. Some people just love to get a rise off people. Ignore him. I do.

 

Brian

[Guest R2D2]

Here is my three cents worth. I thought I would put things into perspective... :

 

PJ and I had a dispute a few months ago about people saying racist things on the board. Since Don and I were the only moderators ( I brought Don in to bring in the OO1 board, as he was playing with that). PJ, being only 24, half black, and brought up in a society where there was little to no discrimination, thought that people should be able to say racist things on this board - the same line that he is using now..(Ironically, a week after I left, a racist clause was added to the preamble but that racist is still here but not posting racist posts). North Central Florida is not much different today than it was 40 years ago, the most racist State in America. Since I had fought discrimination all of my life, I was pissed. I turned in the moderator's role, since a moderator could not, and cannot censure and remove an individual from this board contrary to the BS that Owen is expressing, and remained off of the board until 5 weeks ago. At that time, I saw that the board was not doing what PJ and I invisioned. We invisioned that this board would be set up to expose the truth about the process and to bring our loved ones home. I came back to do just that and proded you all to do just that. We succeeded again like we did with the black hole bunch that we never got credit for or so much as a thank you sir.

 

We, the masses, have rights too. The right to express our thoughts without being denigraded or having our loved ones denigraded.

 

Freedoms begin with the masses. What is good for the people is good for the rule and the law. The people that put this board together, and I don't mean with tech knowledge, deserve to be treated with the respect and appreciation that they deserve. They also have the fundamental right of being able to post without being denigraded or abused. If that means getting rid of the trouble makers, so be it. I warned everyone, a few weeks ago, that we had pissed off HS and that they were trying, by posts, to disrupt the boards. Good luck to all....

[Dave G.]

R2D2...

 

You make no sense. You offend and are aggressive. You tell PJ he is wrong. You tell Owen he is full of BS. But, you ask for everyone to get a long. You became a moderator, but behave as badly as anyone else. If the moderators can't even get along, then how can this board survive? It's like the classic dysfunctional family. PJ and you invisioned this board? How can that be when you piss on each other?

 

I am so confused. Yet, I got so much from this site. Mom...Dad....kiss and make up or your children will be screwed for life.

 

Dave