Pre nuptials

[Dave G.]

FYI....China Doll is my term of endearment for my fiancee. She thinks it is very sweet. Please don't tell me what I can or cannot call my future wife. If you think it is a put down, then don't use it yourself.

[tonado]

Whether you are marring a girl from China or the US or anywhere in this world, you can get taken, but if you are so worried about this than you should stay by yourself and dig a hole. Ask yourself, would you rather have 3 years of happiness or a lifetime of sadness alone. If you love her and are good to her and she is a good person, than you will never get cheated. You met her and you know her, you can decide.

Trust is the magic word. Relationship has ups and downs. Also, people can change over time and they have to adapt to each other's new goals and expectations.

[Argyle]

It seems to me people are only concern about their own well being.  Has anyone ever thought about the sacrafices these Chinese ladies are making?  Some with limited English.  Some with no one to turn to when they really needed one.  And most importantly, they are as vunerable as we are interms of what might have turnout later in life.  Imagine someone came to the US to marry an abusive husband and has no knowledge whatsoever about any US laws.  Think both ways when making any kinds of judgement.

Well Said Tung!

 

There are definately two sides to every story. Thanks for reminding us.

 

Best Wishes

[Jatuke]

Some couples will make it, some couples won't. We can tell the ones who will make it and the ones that won't.

[Guest sanfranman8]

anyone who thinks a pre-nup is the difference between making it and not making it is astoundingly shortsighted, in my opinion.

[Jatuke]

There's another one...

[Guest sanfranman8]

if nothing else, the majority opinion here proves the addage "ignorance is bliss". It is easy to be starry-eyed, full of love and lose all sense of realism. Perhaps thats why the divorce rate is so high. Ask youreslf, how many of those divorced people said "you dont understand, I love her (him)"? Alas, it is delusional to think that it couldnt happen to us as well.

[Jatuke]

Talking about "short-sightedness", why get into a relationship in which you need to worry about a pre-nup, or false love?

 

Pre-nups apply more heavily towards the argument of "being starry-eyed" and a false sense of a valid relationship.

 

Pre-nups and divorce rates are mainstream in American culture, but that's not to say that those concepts don't exist in Chinese culture.

 

Why do you think the U.S. Consulate makes this such an ordeal process?

 

Research before you embark on this journey; take a Chinese culture class, or go to China and live there. See the bigger picture first.

[Guest sanfranman8]

I knew that love could be blind, thank you for proving it can also be stultifyingly stupid. The fact of the matter is that THINGS CHANGE over time. Half of the US couples divorce. They were all convinced it was forever. They were wrong. Maybe you'll be the lucky 50%, no one knows. You dont know either.

You missed the entire point. The issue is not whether a pre-nup is right or wrong in the abstract, its all a personal choice which is highly dependent on the circumstances. The man who made the original post did not deserve to be excoriated as he was. How dare anyone imply that his love is flawed, or not sincere or doomed to fail.

You dont want one? FINE

He does? Thats FINE too.

[Guest sanfranman8]

Jatuke, my last post was not directed at you personally. English is not your native language apparently and i wanted to be sure you knew i wasnt criticising you. The issue is not whether the love is strong now, but rather will it be strong in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? No one can predict.

Sorry if you thought i was criticising you, I was not.

[Guest R2D2]

As some of you know, I have lived a pretty full life. I marched with King in Selma in 61. I was a Navy pilot during Nam. I took on the Iowa militia. I have been a millionaire twice and a country western singer. What I have learned over the years is that money really isn't everything. If you have to worry about it and place more emphasis on it than it deserves, then you will be a very lonely old person. One has to set priorities and be realistic. You cannot take the money to the grave with you, no more than can you buy a relationship. If you have doubts, then you should procede no further. You do yourself no good, or the person that you are trying to have a relationship with, any good. Walk away and don't look back. Don't intend to preach. I hope this helps.

[Guest sanfranman8]

R2, when you flew in your A4 skyhawk, A7 corsair, F4 phantom, did you have a parachute? Was it because you did not value your plane? Or was it because you knew "the breaks of Naval air" sometimes happen?

gotcha!

[Guest R2D2]

R2, when you flew in your A4 skyhawk, A7 corsair, F4 phantom, did you have a parachute?  Was it because you did not value your plane?  Or was it because you knew "the breaks of Naval air" sometimes happen?

gotcha!

If you are worried about flying, don't get in the plane.

[Jatuke]

San Fran man, my last post was not directed at you personally. English is not your native language apparently (speaking of "short-sightedness!) and i wanted to be sure you knew i wasnt criticising you.

 

Good luck.

[Guest sanfranman8]

R2, was hoping you could do better, chum! you were not worried, yet you still had the silks! Precisely my point. confidence in the aircraft (or marriage) and preparing for a mishap are NOT mutually exclusive.

By the way, what was it? I left out intruder, spad, and crusader.