Good parent, bad parent

[Shenzhen K-1]

Appreciate the posts so far. It shows me what I have to look forward to when my wife's son get here. He has been raised by his grandparents on his father's side who seem to cater to his every whim. He will be a pre-teenager (11) going through adolecents. So we will have to deal with a young boy with raging hormones going through culture shock and a change in parenting style. Like many others, my wife and I agree on the when in China be Chinese and when in the US do like we do in US idea. Since our two year old is my first, I am just not real sure how well we are prepared to deal with her child. It will be a figure it out as we go and hope we don't screw up too bad. I just might be asking some of you for advice later.

 

AMEN to that, can not wait for my new 15 year old daughter to be here and see it all goes with her and two sons!

 

I asked mom about dating, she said when daughter graduates from university she might be able to then!! B)

[natrigon]

Our daughter is almost 20 and Mei still will not let her have a date... College first she says. I think that is overkill but rather that way than the other.

 

 

Just wait for the boyfriend thing to start up and watch the veins in your wifes neck get larger, toooo young!!!!!

[Shenzhen K-1]

"Just wait for the boyfriend thing to start up and watch the veins in your wifes neck get larger, toooo young!!!!!"

 

 

 

Yes That is what I have heard many times!! She is way too cute, tall, bright, and street smart!!

 

God I am in trouble!! B)

[Guest knloregon]

Well,

 

I was certainly surprised that to have some faceless bureaucrat in Beijing pick the girls that were to become my daughters, that I quite sure I couldn't have done any better myself. #2 has had some trouble with English, but is mostly through that---outstanding in math, and an agressive (undefeated) chess club member---both get good grades including in Mandarin. But at 12 and 10, no doubt the rough times are still ahead..

 

Living in very liberal Portland, I did sort of anticipate 'parental creep' that is, all the permissiveness of this city, and gave them absolute 'rules' from a vry early age---including workout requirements. (running & soccer) --- Portland public schools basicly don't believe in physical education---and certainly not 'striving' ---don't be any better than average! Have no doubt that I will have to back off when they are in their teens, but hopefully, by then their values will be set. (Fei is much tougher on the girls than I am)

[Shenzhen K-1]

Well,

 

I was certainly surprised that to have some faceless bureaucrat in Beijing pick the girls that were to become my daughters, that I quite sure I couldn't have done any better myself. #2 has had some trouble with English, but is mostly through that---outstanding in math, and an agressive (undefeated) chess club member---both get good grades including in Mandarin. But at 12 and 10, no doubt the rough times are still ahead..

 

Living in very liberal Portland, I did sort of anticipate 'parental creep' that is, all the permissiveness of this city, and gave them absolute 'rules' from a vry early age---including workout requirements. (running & soccer) --- Portland public schools basicly don't believe in physical education---and certainly not 'striving' ---don't be any better than average! Have no doubt that I will have to back off when they are in their teens, but hopefully, by then their values will be set. (Fei is much tougher on the girls than I am)

 

Not sure about the first comment but.....

 

I moved to a small city to have a close knit group. I have many friends to help out with both ladies and to keep an eye on the ladies.

 

Also, been to Portland many times and know what you mean.

[Guest knloregon]

Yeah,

 

The close knit part helps alot! Both the girls went through troubled times during the divorce from my first wife (their mother) ---sad, but not avoidable... have recovered since.

 

(my daughters are adopted from China, all adopted Chinese orphans are selected for the adoptive parents in Beijing)

[Shenzhen K-1]

Yeah,

 

The close knit part helps alot! Both the girls went through troubled times during the divorce from my first wife (their mother) ---sad, but not avoidable... have recovered since.

 

(my daughters are adopted from China, all adopted Chinese orphans are selected for the adoptive parents in Beijing)

 

Oh, now I understand, very nice thing to have done.

 

But for me.....

 

1 normal birth daughter........ 20's

 

3 sons.......... 20's, then ages 11 and 12

 

3 step daughters...........low 20's all three

 

One new daughter, can not wait.........age 15

[Guest knloregon]

Shenzhen ~

 

Looks like you have an EXCELLENT network of youngsters to take care of you in your old age.... nicely done!

[Shenzhen K-1]

Shenzhen ~

 

Looks like you have an EXCELLENT network of youngsters to take care of you in your old age.... nicely done!

 

I truly hope so..............

[SheLikesME?]

Good topic, Eric.

 

I get the feeling my wife wants me to take charge at times. She feels she is not a good mother at all and wonders if she should even have more. I work on that with her. No grandparents here to do everything like before, though my Mom was great for at least being in the house when she got home from school.

 

Supposedly little one will be back mid January, but this time go to school in Lil Rock. Don't think daughter will be as popular there as she was here.

[IllinoisDave]

(my daughters are adopted from China, all adopted Chinese orphans are selected for the adoptive parents in Beijing)

 

Really? I had no idea this was the case. I guess you truly do learn something new every day.

[Guest knloregon]

SLM ---

 

Sometimes I think just changing schools can present kids with challenges that are second only to divorce, particularly when they have formed close bonds with classmates over several years.

 

Yeah, Dave, was sort of sorry to see the Chinese adoption thread go sideways so fast---a topic of interesting to me, for obvious reasons...

[Shenzhen K-1]

SLM ---

 

Sometimes I think just changing schools can present kids with challenges that are second only to divorce, particularly when they have formed close bonds with classmates over several years.

 

Yeah, Dave, was sort of sorry to see the Chinese adoption thread go sideways so fast---a topic of interesting to me, for obvious reasons...

 

Yes I am sure switching school is tough and worry about it greatly for my daughter. We have many cultures here in my town and Mom and I have sent her to extra English school to help her in the transition phase.

[MikeandRong]

and Mom and I have sent her to extra English school to help her in the transition phase.

 

Excellent, well done.

 

Every little bit helps, and this is a big one.