Breaking up is not hard to do...

[Dennis143]

Caveat emptor to those American men who choose one of those queens as their wife. It can be daunting.

 

Many of these young Chinese women seek marriage either to a wealthy Chinese or an American as a way to success.

[Shenzhen K-1]

Caveat emptor to those American men who choose one of those queens as their wife. It can be daunting.

 

Many of these young Chinese women seek marriage either to a wealthy Chinese or an American as a way to success.

 

AMEN to that..............................

 

I hope my new daughter soon understands the family not the I concept? She is a very nice, bright, and polite young lady, at least that is the side she has shown me so far! Between my children and my ex's I have had to raise 7 kids, Chinese daughter will be number 8, I think I can handle her. B)

[sleepless in Houston&CQ]

Caveat emptor to those American men who choose one of those queens as their wife. It can be daunting.

 

Many of these young Chinese women seek marriage either to a wealthy Chinese or an American as a way to success.

 

AMEN to that..............................

 

I hope my new daughter soon understands the family not the I concept? She is a very nice, bright, and polite young lady, at least that is the side she has shown me so far! Between my children and my ex's I have had to raise 7 kids, Chinese daughter will be number 8, I think I can handle her. B)

 

 

8? as in 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8? wow!!

I'm holdin up 4 fingers on each hand that eight correct?

 

I guess livin up north them cold nights makes yawl wanna do more

than cuddle to keep warm....huh?

 

wish yawl the best of luck

[Shenzhen K-1]

Caveat emptor to those American men who choose one of those queens as their wife. It can be daunting.

 

Many of these young Chinese women seek marriage either to a wealthy Chinese or an American as a way to success.

 

AMEN to that..............................

 

I hope my new daughter soon understands the family not the I concept? She is a very nice, bright, and polite young lady, at least that is the side she has shown me so far! Between my children and my ex's I have had to raise 7 kids, Chinese daughter will be number 8, I think I can handle her.

 

 

8? as in 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8? wow!!

I'm holdin up 4 fingers on each hand that eight correct?

 

I guess livin up north them cold nights makes yawl wanna do more

than cuddle to keep warm....huh?

 

wish yawl the best of luck

 

Well I only got to enjoy the first 2 minutes of four of them!!!!!

 

[GZBILL]

My new daughter along with all middle and senior high school kids had to attend two weeks of military training in August of this year. It was felt this would help to curb some of the problems of the little emperor generation!!

 

This kind of military training has been going on for the past 50 years in most high schools and virtually every college or university. It is not related to the Little Emperor Syndrome.

It actually stopped for a decade or so, till post 1989.

 

No, it did not stop. I have been here for going on 13 years and since 1994 I have seen it yearly at each and every school near my home -- from high schools to colleges.

 

Perhaps in some rural farming communities or at sub-standard private institutions it hasn't been taking place, but in Guangzhou, Shenzhen and Shanghai in each and every public school it most definitely has.

[Jeikun]

My new daughter along with all middle and senior high school kids had to attend two weeks of military training in August of this year. It was felt this would help to curb some of the problems of the little emperor generation!!

 

This kind of military training has been going on for the past 50 years in most high schools and virtually every college or university. It is not related to the Little Emperor Syndrome.

It actually stopped for a decade or so, till post 1989.

 

No, it did not stop. I have been here for going on 13 years and since 1994 I have seen it yearly at each and every school near my home -- from high schools to colleges.

 

Perhaps in some rural farming communities or at sub-standard private institutions it hasn't been taking place, but in Guangzhou, Shenzhen and Shanghai in each and every public school it most definitely has.

 

 

I think he said it stopped until post 1989(as in started again post 1989)... last time I checked 1989 was more than 13 years ago... so you can both be right.

[Guest knloregon]

The military training could be a regional thing too----my understanding is the same as GZBill for the big cities, but last year in the western Yunnan Buddist areas, I had the impression it wasn't pushed---no need to train Tibetan Buddist youth military skills......

 

My niece really hates the military part of her education... and thats from a strong party member family.

[Shenzhen K-1]

The military training could be a regional thing too----my understanding is the same as GZBill for the big cities, but last year in the western Yunnan Buddist areas, I had the impression it wasn't pushed---no need to train Tibetan Buddist youth military skills......

 

My niece really hates the military part of her education... and thats from a strong party member family.

 

Daughter used to live in E'meishan and never went until she went to Shenzhen!! Neither did any of her friends in Chengdu!! B) B)

[Tony_onrock]

My new daughter along with all middle and senior high school kids had to attend two weeks of military training in August of this year. It was felt this would help to curb some of the problems of the little emperor generation!!

 

This kind of military training has been going on for the past 50 years in most high schools and virtually every college or university. It is not related to the Little Emperor Syndrome.

It actually stopped for a decade or so, till post 1989.

 

No, it did not stop. I have been here for going on 13 years and since 1994 I have seen it yearly at each and every school near my home -- from high schools to colleges.

 

Perhaps in some rural farming communities or at sub-standard private institutions it hasn't been taking place, but in Guangzhou, Shenzhen and Shanghai in each and every public school it most definitely has.

 

 

I think he said it stopped until post 1989(as in started again post 1989)... last time I checked 1989 was more than 13 years ago... so you can both be right.

 

Thanks for the clarification.

When I was growing up, we had to get military training for about one month, training on the farm for a week or so and training in a factory for about a month. It stopped after 1978 or 79 in most of the country. Then in 1989 after Tiananmen Square situation, it started again for the new students getting into college. In 1989 it was actually for a whole year for Beijing University students and many colleges in Beijing. I left and did not really follow on what happened in later years. I think now they do something like a month or two.

[Shenzhen K-1]

My new daughter along with all middle and senior high school kids had to attend two weeks of military training in August of this year. It was felt this would help to curb some of the problems of the little emperor generation!!

 

This kind of military training has been going on for the past 50 years in most high schools and virtually every college or university. It is not related to the Little Emperor Syndrome.

It actually stopped for a decade or so, till post 1989.

 

No, it did not stop. I have been here for going on 13 years and since 1994 I have seen it yearly at each and every school near my home -- from high schools to colleges.

 

Perhaps in some rural farming communities or at sub-standard private institutions it hasn't been taking place, but in Guangzhou, Shenzhen and Shanghai in each and every public school it most definitely has.

 

 

I think he said it stopped until post 1989(as in started again post 1989)... last time I checked 1989 was more than 13 years ago... so you can both be right.

 

Thanks for the clarification.

When I was growing up, we had to get military training for about one month, training on the farm for a week or so and training in a factory for about a month. It stopped after 1978 or 79 in most of the country. Then in 1989 after Tiananmen Square situation, it started again for the new students getting into college. In 1989 it was actually for a whole year for Beijing University students and many colleges in Beijing. I left and did not really follow on what happened in later years. I think now they do something like a month or two.

 

My new daughter did it for two weeks only this year in Shenzhen, yes first time. I was worried about her, Mom said it would make her independent!!

[rogerluli]

We've talked before about aspects of the fallout from China's instituting the one-child policy in the 1980's. Those first children are now in their 20's and here's a look at what's going on...

 

 

Ten months after they tied the knot, Li Lei and Wang Yang, both 20-something Chinese professionals, decided it was time to break up so they could spend more time with their lovers.

They signed on the dotted line on their divorce paper less than 20 minutes after answering "no" to a few key questions -- "Do you have kids?" and "Any disputes on property?"

 

China's phenomenal economic growth has created a generation of "emperors" and "empresses", the now-adult children of China's one-child policy, who often put their needs before anything and anyone else.

 

Experts say many of this generation are unable to sustain relationships, a result of being spoilt only children, doted on by parents and grandparents who catered to their every whim.

 

"They are weak in horizontal bonding, communicating with the same generation," said Professor Fucius Yunlan, a U.S.-trained psychiatrist who runs counselling sessions in Beijing.

 

"They tend to apply a vertical approach to horizontal relationships."

 

 

With an enlarged sense of entitlement, some of these couples tend to part quickly. Counsellors say some marriages fall apart after a week or a few months.

 

China launched the controversial one-child policy in the early 1980s to curb its population, now over 1.3 billion.

 

The restrictions, which vary from city to countryside, caused a variety of social problems such as a fast-ageing society and a breakdown of family values which used to be based on the traditional Confucian ideal of a large and close family.

 

PROBLEMS OF THE RICH

 

The problem of grown only children having difficulties sustaining relationships is particularly pronounced among the affluent middle-and upper-classes who have accumulated enormous wealth from China's economic success.

 

Divorce figures in some cities show about one-third of all divorce cases involve children of the affluent "me" generation.

 

Brought up in China's economic and social turmoil of the 1950s and 1960s, many parents buried themselves in work to build a better life as the country underwent dizzying economic growth over the past two decades just as their kids reached their teens.

 

"They ignored the emotional education of their children," explained Prof. Fucius.

 

But in many cases, these parents showered their children with everything that money could buy as well as the emotional weight of high expectations for their only children.

 

Lu Qingyi, an economist and a day trader at the booming Chinese stock market, has set money aside to finance a car and a business for his 21-year-old son who is now thinking of aborting a finance degree in London to open a coffee shop in Beijing.

 

"Actually I've prepared a contingent fund for him in case he fails in the first business," Lu added. "But of course I keep it hush-hush".

 

SEXUAL MORES

 

Marriages among China's elite often seem to be more about amassing wealth than nurturing relationships, observers suggest. When a partner with better prospects comes along, some couples such as Li Lei and Wang Yang think nothing of breaking up.

 

It's a lifestyle that contrasts sharply to that of their parents who viewed marriage as a duty and divorce a shame.

 

"You will never ever find any trace in this generation of how we felt in the old days, guys didn't even dare touch a girl's fingers before marriage," said Gary Xu, 55, a Red Guard in Mao Zedong's chaotic Cultural Revolution who spent his teen years herding buffalo in the remote southwest.

 

In Xu's time, when youths studied Marxism and dreamed of becoming model workers, pre-marital sex could cost one a treasured job at a state-run factory or expulsion from a prestigious university.

 

Marriage was about a couple working together to earn a television set, a bicycle, or a fridge.

 

"Kids today start their relationship right from the bed," said Xu. "It's a completely new generation."

 

These days, cohabitation is commonplace and extra-marital sex is gaining acceptance. A new car, preferably a foreign brand, and a two-bedroom apartment, or at least a down payment on an apartment, is essential in a new marriage among the well-to-do.

 

Parents also feed the idea of marrying into "the right family" with a sound financial and political standing.

 

"If you marry into a rich and powerful family, you don't need to plan anything as everything will be set for you smoothly and perfectly," said a secretary, who asked not to be named.

 

"It will be a comfortable life. Why should we endure a hard life?"

 

The tens of millions of poor people in China's impoverished rural areas are too preoccupied with trying to eke out a living on incomes as low as $80 per year to mimic the mores of the affluent.

 

But in the big cities, experts are seeing a sharp shift in social values among 20-somethings from the wealthy elite and fast-expanding middle class.

 

"This generation faces a completely different set of reality versus their parents," explained Professor Fucius. "They are very much self-oriented, not others-oriented or social-oriented."

 

"Their parents listen to what the superiors, tradition and other people have to say. They listen to themselves."

 

 

It seems to me that more than a few members have had "issues" lately with their young fiancees. It didn't come up to any great degree in this thread at the time it was around but I wonder ??? Are we seeing the results of our own members encountering these "little empresses" and having the problems one would normally associate with SPOILT kids... If so does it bode ill for the continuing prospects of USCs looking to China for the kinds of qualities in women that most of us were looking for ??? Is CFL destined to die on the vine without fresh blood???

[Guest Mike and Lily]

So... Chinese kids are becoming just like Americans.

 

Exactly! Kids born in the USA have a sense of entitlement unmatched anywhere else in the world. It is starting to happen in China as well. This is one of the unfortunate effects of modernization of China as well as the one child policy.

Edited March 11, 2008 by Mike and Lily (see edit history)

[Guest Tony n Terrific]

So... Chinese kids are becoming just like Americans.

Yes but at 4.5 x ratio.

[rogerluli]

I knew there was plenty of agreement about kids growing up this way but my point in bringing this thread back was that these kids are now 20 somethings and they are now starting to be encountered by our members going to China for a wife. My point again is that many women in this age group are going to be problematic for the USC hoping to find the love of his life in China... Cooking, cleaning or even simple caring may not be on their agenda...