The Anatomy of our White Slip

[chilton747]

From time to time I get questioned as to why I received the dreaded white slip. Certainly I do not mind answering anything that I have answers for but the real answer as to why is contained within the Consulate in GZ. But I have a very good idea as to their thinking and I want to share this with you at this time.

 

Like some of you here I met my SO before my divorce was official. I was awaiting the final court date when I first went to China to meet her in person for the first time. Shortly after I came home from this visit I went to the court and my final decree was issued. Then I proceeded to file the I-129f. As far as what the petition asked for, I gave them only what they asked for and I did not address any potential red flags. I was new to this process, had not heard of CFL, and only went by the instructions for the form(s). It all seemed easy enough. For that matter I even instructed a friend of mine on how to do the paperwork. His former marriage was to an alien that was illegally in the US. He and his fiancee's visa came in about 7 months from the time he filed. My petition was stuck at the USCIS for approx. 7 months until finally approved and sent to GZ.

 

While we were waiting for the process to unfold our relationship was growing. We had some ups and downs mainly due to the fact that I had 4 ex wives. Understandably so, I was questioned by her on an often basis. There were times that I expected her to leave our relationship and she actually said "goodbye" at one point. I told her that I understand her concerns but I had always told her the truth about anything she had asked. Of course all I wanted was for her to be happy and I wished her the best. The next morning my phone was ringing off the hook so I turned on the computer and there she was crying her eyes out. She told me that she knew I was truthful to her and that she had other friends of hers telling her that I was no good due to my previous many marriages. She decided to believe me and not listen to her friends.

 

Well the time came for her interview. I had decided not to go to GZ as to save my vacation time from work for her arrival here at my home. She stayed at Mr Yang's place. Mr Yang let her use his computer and we chatted using the webcam. She told me that she had been talking to other women there and they had told her to be careful about her choice with me as a husband due to my many previous marriages. Another woman there had asked her if I loved God. She said "yes." Then the person told her I would be good.

 

The night before the interview she could not sleep for the noise of traffic in the streets. Needless to say she was also very nervous. While she was waiting to be called, she saw 4 other women get white slips. She became very uneasy at this point. Then she was called for her interview. I am certain that it was obvious to the VO that she was nervous. She gave the VO our pictures and then asked her if she could speak english. She said "only a very little" and the VO fired away with english at her. Of course she could not understand and then at that point she could not really understand the VO's spoken Chinese very well. Then the VO asked her why we did not get married in China. She replied to him saying that I was just recently divorced and we wished to do the K1 to give us more time. My wife told me that the VO was struggling in his mind on what to give her but he finally ended up giving her the white slip.

 

All in all to be perfectly honest, I think the VO made the right decision. When I made my next visit to see my wife I looked at the pictures that she had given to him. Some of the pictures she gave to him were of me smiling and her not smiling. To be honest, these pictures were made at a time she was angry with me. I can't help but think that the VO was thinking "does she really want a visa?" Now that I look back at this it becomes quite humorous to me.

 

To summarize my beliefs for the white slip is as follows:

 

Petition to the USCIS not having red flag issues addressed

 

Insufficient preparation for the interview

 

Horrible pictures

 

Nervous SO

 

Wrong answer as to why we did not marry in China.

 

My SO's heart not really in the right place.

 

As for now, things have really became much better for us. We were married in China during my first visit after her inteview. This really brought an amazing calmness to our relationship. Our marriage has really solidified our relationship and our hearts as two becoming one. There is no more talk as to mine or her past and we only focus towards the future.

 

I also want to say a very heartfelt THANK YOU to all of my CFL brothers and sisters that so graciously helped me to understand the Chinese woman and her culture. I am truly blessed.

[david_dawei]

this is one of the more honest appraisals by a USC on their own case... and points out that it's usually not one issue alone but the combination of issues that form some concern in the VO.

 

Of course we could pick apart each item and discuss whether it's really true or not (ie: was this right or wrong), but the moral of the story is that the little things are not so little after you add them up;

[IllinoisDave]

Thanks for being so frank Chilton.

Your honesty could be of benefit to someone else in the future.

Best of luck overcoming the white slip.

[tsap seui]

Hey 747, what an upfront candid report on an interview.

 

Good on ya buddy, you two have been through a lot, a lot of mental anguish and a lot of time. Good will come to you both one day. You and your wife's determnation are a beacon and an inspiration to all of us in limbo.

 

tsap seui

[chilton747]

I am hoping that others can benefit from my shortcomings. Honesty is the best policy I believe. It takes awhile for the emotions to subside where one can really see the truth. I have refiled with the CR1. The relationship is truly bonafide with a wonderful future for us ahead. Guess I need to update my timeline, huh? I have nothing to hide at this point.

[chilton747]

Hey 747, what an upfront candid report on an interview.

 

Good on ya buddy, you two have been through a lot, a lot of mental anguish and a lot of time. Good will come to you both one day. You and your wife's determnation are a beacon and an inspiration to all of us in limbo.

 

tsap seui

Yes good will come to you as well Tsap. Believe me I have learned patience from others as well as my own experiences. Your humor has been very refreshing to me good buddy

[rcbulk]

I am hoping that others can benefit from my shortcomings. Honesty is the best policy I believe. It takes awhile for the emotions to subside where one can really see the truth. I have refiled with the CR1. The relationship is truly bonafide with a wonderful future for us ahead. Guess I need to update my timeline, huh? I have nothing to hide at this point.

 

 

Hi 747,

Sorry to hear of your long delay in bringing your SO to America. I believe the phrase is:The patience of JOBE! I am in a similar situation. I have been married three times and met my SO in China before my divorce was final. (We met in April of 2005) In fact When my ex found out she delayed the signing for more than a year. (I think she was mad.) Another factor is our age difference. Those are the two items I am concentrating on for the interview. When we meet a woman that completely changes our life, We do any and everythingfor that woman. It breaks our heart when there is a delay or something in the process that makes the love of our life sad!

I saw a quote that I think is appropiate for times like this. "Why did GOD allow us to meet and fall in love if we were not meant to be together!"

Take care Chris

[chilton747]

I am hoping that others can benefit from my shortcomings. Honesty is the best policy I believe. It takes awhile for the emotions to subside where one can really see the truth. I have refiled with the CR1. The relationship is truly bonafide with a wonderful future for us ahead. Guess I need to update my timeline, huh? I have nothing to hide at this point.

 

 

Hi 747,

Sorry to hear of your long delay in bringing your SO to America. I believe the phrase is:The patience of JOBE! I am in a similar situation. I have been married three times and met my SO in China before my divorce was final. (We met in April of 2005) In fact When my ex found out she delayed the signing for more than a year. (I think she was mad.) Another factor is our age difference. Those are the two items I am concentrating on for the interview. When we meet a woman that completely changes our life, We do any and everythingfor that woman. It breaks our heart when there is a delay or something in the process that makes the love of our life sad!

I saw a quote that I think is appropiate for times like this. "Why did GOD allow us to meet and fall in love if we were not meant to be together!"

Take care Chris

 

Hi Chris that was funny about what you sad about your ex I bet she was mad. I escaped that ordeal by filing the for the divorce without my ex finding out. Acutally I was in the process of filing before I met my SO. My ex delayed the divorce filings just for spite. I wish i had just a small bit of the patience Job had . In answer to the quoted question, I really believe God has His reasons. He is making us work extra hard for this one

I wish you much luck and I would address any red flag issues up front with the initial petition to the USCIS IMHO.

[SinoTexas]

Hang tough my friend. We will ALL have that dinner together, my treat (how close do you live to McDonalds?). Just kidd'n.

 

It's not always easy taking the road less traveled.

 

As aye,

 

Jim

[rogerinca]

Charles, thank you for the candid and heart-felt overview of your situation.

 

I have a lot of respect for you and how you have both endured and handled your situation.

 

I have a lot of respect for your beautiful Lao Po, too, and how she has endured and stood by her man !!

 

Again, I am happy the info I supplied to you on the airline ticketing was beneficial for you.

 

Last, always remember there are many of us here, who have been married more than once.

 

Moreover, the last time I checked the Penal Code, ¡®Divorce¡¯ was not yet, listed as either a felony nor a misdemeanor !!

 

Again, you and Lao Po are in our prayers, best wishes for a speedy overcome.

 

Rog

[chilton747]

Charles, thank you for the candid and heart-felt overview of your situation.

 

I have a lot of respect for you and how you have both endured and handled your situation.

 

I have a lot of respect for your beautiful Lao Po, too, and how she has endured and stood by her man !!

 

Again, I am happy the info I supplied to you on the airline ticketing was beneficial for you.

 

Last, always remember there are many of us here, who have been married more than once.

 

Moreover, the last time I checked the Penal Code, ¡®Divorce¡¯ was not yet, listed as either a felony nor a misdemeanor !!

 

Again, you and Lao Po are in our prayers, best wishes for a speedy overcome.

 

Rog

 

Thank you so very much Rog. Your prayers really mean a lot to me and my wife. And yes you are so right about my Lao Po standing by her man. No doubt her love for me is very real as mine is for her, also. She could have tossed me to the street a long time ago.

[sawadee]

Thanks for sharing.

I like what you said:"This(getting married) really brought an amazing calmness to our relationship. Our marriage has really solidified our relationship and our hearts as two becoming one." This was how me and my husband felt. That made the visa process less stressful.

I wish you all the best for your CR1 application and your life with your wife.

[Guest Mike and Lily]

Thanks for sharing that with us. It seems that they were right to not give you the pink at the time, but the problem with the system is they make no allowances for judgments that they make that could be in error. Once you got that white slp, your process was doomed with no chance for redemption. They really should make allowances for possible misjudgments the VO might make without condemning you to the black hole with no second chance. IMO the white slip should only be given when it is undeniably clear that one's relationship is fraudulent, not just suspicion.

[chilton747]

Thanks for sharing that with us. It seems that they were right to not give you the pink at the time, but the problem with the system is they make no allowances for judgments that they make that could be in error. Once you got that white slp, your process was doomed with no chance for redemption. They really should make allowances for possible misjudgments the VO might make without condemning you to the black hole with no second chance. IMO the white slip should only be given when it is undeniably clear that one's relationship is fraudulent, not just suspicion.

 

According to the telegrams from the DOS to the Consulates, you are correct Mike. And you are correct in stating that the petition should not be put in a black hole. It is STILL there today. I had beat this dead horse until I had no more fight left in me. I know others in my same situation. We will see how my CR1 progresses because all of the summary points I gave in my OP are null and void now that's for sure.

[rcbulk]

Thanks for sharing that with us. It seems that they were right to not give you the pink at the time, but the problem with the system is they make no allowances for judgments that they make that could be in error. Once you got that white slp, your process was doomed with no chance for redemption. They really should make allowances for possible misjudgments the VO might make without condemning you to the black hole with no second chance. IMO the white slip should only be given when it is undeniably clear that one's relationship is fraudulent, not just suspicion.

 

According to the telegrams from the DOS to the Consulates, you are correct Mike. And you are correct in stating that the petition should not be put in a black hole. It is STILL there today. I had beat this dead horse until I had no more fight left in me. I know others in my same situation. We will see how my CR1 progresses because all of the summary points I gave in my OP are null and void now that's for sure.

 

Hi 747,

Just a quick question. Did you get married in Hong Kong?