curious

[DMikeS4321]

Just how cute it is when she gave you a bag of "peanuts" and pronounced it "penis"!

 

When two persons have language barrier, they are more tolerant.

 

dont you think it could go the other way as well, say one party only speaks a little english and she misunderstands something that is said to her.

 

Hi Bill,

 

I don't want to sound too starry eyed, but I've noticed that having to put more effort into communications means we have had to put more effort into communications, if you get my meaning. Lao Po didn't know a word of English when we first met online, but when she decided I was the one, she spent 10 hours a day, 7 days per week studying and learning. She was understandable within 2 months (I really didn't know until later how little she knew and how fast she learned because I couldn't tell by our online chats and, eventually from her spoken language skills). She is easily conversational now. Conversely, I have learned approximately NONE of her languages (Mandarin, Catonese and Hakka). I do think she cuts me more slack than vice versa.

 

To get back to my main point, we have never had a serious misunderstanding because we both put our conversation in context and figure out what is being said before we jump to conclusions. This, added to a loving heart, puts us in a place where we have never had any cross words between us. I KNOW if something doesn't sound right because I know her heart. She does the same, but I give her more credit. I also think it's cute when she says "ugry" instead of "ugly". In fact, I'm kind of buying into it by spelling "ugry" now when we are online. My perspective might be different than most as we are planning on splitting our living 50/50 between China and the U.S. I acutely aware of the fact that she is far ahead of me in learning my language and I have a long way to go before I will be even close to conversational in hers. Keeps me humble, and a little humility goes a long way in my world.

 

Communications can be difficult if one allows it to be. I can tell you from years of experience... I understand her a heck of a lot better than I EVER understood my ex, even though I shared English as primary language with her.

 

Best Regards

[izus]

I've noticed that having to put more effort into communications means we have had to put more effort into communications, if you get my meaning.

 

i am really not sure what you mean, Mike this sounds like an episode of seinfeld. when all george wants is to date that black chick that doesnt speak english and kramer sells the old mans record collection.

[egolessvegan]

I've noticed that having to put more effort into communications means we have had to put more effort into communications, if you get my meaning.

 

i am really not sure what you mean, Mike this sounds like an episode of seinfeld. when all george wants is to date that black chick that doesnt speak english and kramer sells the old mans record collection.

 

Bill:

 

You just don't get it!!

 

Having a communication barrier makes the relationship bond even stronger!

 

Ken

[Randy W]

I've noticed that having to put more effort into communications means we have had to put more effort into communications, if you get my meaning.

 

i am really not sure what you mean, Mike this sounds like an episode of seinfeld. when all george wants is to date that black chick that doesnt speak english and kramer sells the old mans record collection.

 

 

Seinfeld's Dating 101? Is that what this is about??

 

 

You tell us, Bill. How would you feel about your wife if she didn't speak English?

[izus]

well Randy, i would not have a wife that didnt speak english.

 

it just seems too difficult, there are enough problems in a relationship for me to worry about whether or not my chick understood what i just said...

to me there is so many things i would miss out with i didnt understand her. but by reading this thread i am convinced that it works fine under certain conditions over and over i have seen proof of this.

 

and these posts are exactly what my wife and i were looking for when i first started this thread

more power to those couples.

Edited July 10, 2007 by izus (see edit history)

[Zachary And Lychee]

You guys ever heard of Powerword? (½ðɽ´Ê°Ô) That's what helps us communicate and teaches me chinese and her English in the process. It's a God-send.

without a doubt this software is awesome

thanks for the tip

 

 

hover over any word and it translates it to chinese or english, gives you the proper pronounciation, definition, and a bunch of other stuff.

thanks Zachary

 

Yep! It shows you in-depth definitions (because you may look up one word in english and get many translations each pertaining to different situations), gives the pinyin for each character showing the tone, provides sample sentences using the word, and it will pronounce the word for you! Oh it also does japanese too...

 

Edit: I almost forgot... if you have any other synthesized voices installed on your computer you can choose to use them rather than the default windows one.

i cant find where the pinyin is listed

 

 

http://www.kaidllc.com/chineseinput/powerword.JPG

[jbray]

I am blessed to have a wife that speaks pretty good English... Her prononciation was always pretty good. Her problem was vocabulary. Now that she is in the US, working at a school, she is learning A LOT!

 

When we started dating, she would take her electric dictionary with her and would use it a couple times each day. After a while she didn't need it anymore. After a few weeks, she didn't take it anymore...

 

Our biggest communication problem is where I tell her something and she acts like she understands. Then a while later, she obviously didn't... Lots of time I will tell her a second time and she will get mad, "You never told me that!!!" That used to happen to me a lot in China. I would tell a Chinese English teacher something and they would nod their head and say, "yes... Yes...", I knew they had no idea what I was talking about (usually it wasn't a yes/no question... so "yes" wasn't appropriate).

[Zachary And Lychee]

I am blessed to have a wife that speaks pretty good English... Her prononciation was always pretty good. Her problem was vocabulary. Now that she is in the US, working at a school, she is learning A LOT!

 

When we started dating, she would take her electric dictionary with her and would use it a couple times each day. After a while she didn't need it anymore. After a few weeks, she didn't take it anymore...

 

Our biggest communication problem is where I tell her something and she acts like she understands. Then a while later, she obviously didn't... Lots of time I will tell her a second time and she will get mad, "You never told me that!!!" That used to happen to me a lot in China. I would tell a Chinese English teacher something and they would nod their head and say, "yes... Yes...", I knew they had no idea what I was talking about (usually it wasn't a yes/no question... so "yes" wasn't appropriate).

 

 

Haha, I would do that myself sometimes. I'll just say "¿ÉÒÔ" or "Ok" and key in on important terms like times and dates then try to figure it out by what they did or said afterwards.

[izus]

hey Zach how do i change it from EC Concise Dictionary to CE Concise Dictionary

[Dennis143]

Our biggest communication problem is where I tell her something and she acts like she understands. Then a while later, she obviously didn't... Lots of time I will tell her a second time and she will get mad, "You never told me that!!!" That used to happen to me a lot in China. I would tell a Chinese English teacher something and they would nod their head and say, "yes... Yes...", I knew they had no idea what I was talking about (usually it wasn't a yes/no question... so "yes" wasn't appropriate).

Yep, Leiqin would often say "OK". I thought that she was affirming that she understood what I said. I'd learn later that she didn't and was only saying OK, because that's what she thought I wanted her to say. It took me a lot of patience to finally get her to understand that she must tell me when she doesn't.

[SirLancelot]

well Randy, i would not have a wife that didnt speak english.

 

it just seems too difficult, there are enough problems in a relationship for me to worry about whether or not my chick understood what i just said...

to me there is so many things i would miss out with i didnt understand her. but by reading this thread i am convinced that it works fine under certain conditions over and over i have seen proof of this.

 

and these posts are exactly what my wife and i were looking for when i first started this thread

more power to those couples.

 

Bill, let me preface my main post by saying that I agree with you and Chun's fundamental premise that it seems highly unlikely a relationship could work out when the two partners do not have a common language.

 

Having said that, don't you agree it's a matter of degree? Even in your own case, you have stated many times that your wife, Chun, speaks great English. In your opinion, you probably sincerely believe your wife speaks perfect English. But didn't you post in another thread that Chun recently got fired (laid off) because her higher ups didn't think she spoke English well enough or had too strong an accent? Doesn't that mean in someone else's eyes, that Chun isn't so fluent in English, whereas you think her English is great?

 

I think it's a matter of degree.

 

Honestly, I think most of the guys on here think their ladies speak good English--but they are quite biased. I think a stranger may state the Chinese wife's English proficiency is very bad actually. But living with someone or spending a lot of time with someone with another language, one develops the ability to communicate in a mix language such as Chinglish or Pidgin (Hawaiian vernacular). DavidZ has become a master at understanding and even using Chinglish himself, as have some other members on here.

 

My perplexity isn't with the couples who have been together for a while, but with the ones who are just beginning. I don't understand how one can claim they're in love in the beginning if they can't even understand what the other is saying.

 

I mean I can understand going over to France, Germany, Japan or China and trying to score a one-night stand without either parties knowing the other's language, but to become involved in a true and lasting love relationship where both partners are equals, I do find it hard to achieve that without significant and fluent comprehension by both parties of one language. It doesn't have to be English, it could be both parties comprehensively understand Chinese, but it should be a language both sides understand comprehensively. Otherwise, I believe both sides aren't really understanding the other side. As Dennis says, his wife use to just answer him "OK" when she didn't really understand what he was saying.

 

Then again, I also believe that not all marriages/relationships have to be deep, profound, philosophical, metaphysical love. Many marriages are out of practicality and many of those marriages last longer than the ones born out of passionate love (eros).

[Zachary And Lychee]

hey Zach how do i change it from EC Concise Dictionary to CE Concise Dictionary

 

http://www.kaidllc.com/chineseinput/powerword2.jpg

 

Also, under general you should make sure the "source language of cursor translation" is set to chinese because if you change it to english you get ???? over either chinese or english, I forget.

[chilton747]

Just how cute it is when she gave you a bag of "peanuts" and pronounced it "penis"!

 

When two persons have language barrier, they are more tolerant.

 

dont you think it could go the other way as well, say one party only speaks a little english and she misunderstands something that is said to her.

 

Hi Bill,

 

I don't want to sound too starry eyed, but I've noticed that having to put more effort into communications means we have had to put more effort into communications, if you get my meaning. Lao Po didn't know a word of English when we first met online, but when she decided I was the one, she spent 10 hours a day, 7 days per week studying and learning. She was understandable within 2 months (I really didn't know until later how little she knew and how fast she learned because I couldn't tell by our online chats and, eventually from her spoken language skills). She is easily conversational now. Conversely, I have learned approximately NONE of her languages (Mandarin, Catonese and Hakka). I do think she cuts me more slack than vice versa.

 

To get back to my main point, we have never had a serious misunderstanding because we both put our conversation in context and figure out what is being said before we jump to conclusions. This, added to a loving heart, puts us in a place where we have never had any cross words between us. I KNOW if something doesn't sound right because I know her heart. She does the same, but I give her more credit. I also think it's cute when she says "ugry" instead of "ugly". In fact, I'm kind of buying into it by spelling "ugry" now when we are online. My perspective might be different than most as we are planning on splitting our living 50/50 between China and the U.S. I acutely aware of the fact that she is far ahead of me in learning my language and I have a long way to go before I will be even close to conversational in hers. Keeps me humble, and a little humility goes a long way in my world.

 

Communications can be difficult if one allows it to be. I can tell you from years of experience... I understand her a heck of a lot better than I EVER understood my ex, even though I shared English as primary language with her.

 

Best Regards

Mike these are my thoughts and experiences as well. only difference is that I have learned chinese to the point of being able to get my point across to her. She does very well in her learning. Between the two of us learning each other lanuguages then we do quite well. If we want it then we will get it God willing.

[chilton747]

Just how cute it is when she gave you a bag of "peanuts" and pronounced it "penis"!

 

When two persons have language barrier, they are more tolerant.

Sam and I were always separated by a common language. We fought only for a few English words or one English sentence. Without language barrier, you have very sharp tongue. He was very defensive, and when he was defensive, I over reacted, so fighting or cold war began. So we stopped talking 6 months ago.

 

A friend of mine is dating someone a bit like Sam, but they get along well. This lady is more tolerant, less sensitive than I have been.

 

Without language barrier, you think you have all the fish in the sea and you have higher expectation so you are more demanding than the ladies who don't communicate well in language.

Tolerance is a virtue but we all have to work at it.

[SmilingAsia]

In your opinion, you probably sincerely believe your wife speaks perfect English. But didn't you post in another thread that Chun recently got fired (laid off) because her higher ups didn't think she spoke English well enough or had too strong an accent? Doesn't that mean in someone else's eyes, that Chun isn't so fluent in English, whereas you think her English is great?

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