natrigon Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 (edited) I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. I could not agree more. I went with Mei to a Chinese doctor here in LA for some female issues. The older female doctor would not talk with me.. period. I then insisted and was shown into the exam room and was told to sit on one of those 6" high chairs from China. I said I did not want to sit, thank you. The doctor said if I would not sit she would not talk to me. So I sat and fired questions. After two minutes I got up and found a different doctor. I do not want to get too personal but the doctor wanted to perform quite a major surgry. We went to the next doctor who was amazed at the first doctors suggested surgery. The second doctor performed a 15 minute procedure which is safe and has a 90% success rate. And so to this day all is well. If I was not there mei would have got something removed that was not at all needed. Arrgh. Edited December 14, 2007 by natrigon (see edit history) Link to comment
Shenzhen K-1 Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. OK I will try that approach with them both...... And Merry Link to comment
MikeandRong Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. OK I will try that approach with them both...... And Merry When they get here, give me a call. I will hook you up with a wonderful female Chinese PEDS/OBGYN. Link to comment
Shenzhen K-1 Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. OK I will try that approach with them both...... And Merry When they get here, give me a call. I will hook you up with a wonderful female Chinese PEDS/OBGYN. Thanks and again, Merry Link to comment
MikeandRong Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. OK I will try that approach with them both...... And Merry When they get here, give me a call. I will hook you up with a wonderful female Chinese PEDS/OBGYN. Thanks and again, Merry The beautiful part is try to find a USA OBGYN who knows how to adjust or remove the Chinese IUD, and has tons of experience doing it. Saves a trip back to China. Not to mention, she will explain the importance of going to an American dentist too (remember, everything a Chinese doctor tells her will probably be regarded as the gospel truth). Link to comment
Dennis143 Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 The beautiful part is try to find a USA OBGYN who knows how to adjust or remove the Chinese IUD, and has tons of experience doing it. Saves a trip back to China. Not to mention, she will explain the importance of going to an American dentist too (remember, everything a Chinese doctor tells her will probably be regarded as the gospel truth). Well, possibly...maybe, Mike. In Leiqin's case, she insists on American doctors and dentists. And, by American she does not mean American born Chinese, but non-Chinese English only speaking American. Reason? She has a complete distrust of Chinese because of GuanXi. Since being in America and surviving on her own for 5 years, she claims only Americans freely helped her without wanting anything in return. Link to comment
MikeandRong Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 The beautiful part is try to find a USA OBGYN who knows how to adjust or remove the Chinese IUD, and has tons of experience doing it. Saves a trip back to China. Not to mention, she will explain the importance of going to an American dentist too (remember, everything a Chinese doctor tells her will probably be regarded as the gospel truth). Well, possibly...maybe, Mike. In Leiqin's case, she insists on American doctors and dentists. And, by American she does not mean American born Chinese, but non-Chinese English only speaking American. Reason? She has a complete distrust of Chinese because of GuanXi. Since being in America and surviving on her own for 5 years, she claims only Americans freely helped her without wanting anything in return. I understand Leiquins reasoning 100%. I was only trying to point out that in this instance, I know that due to the past experiences of dentistry in China, the probability of seeing one here was nil. However, upon hearing the benifits of a proper cleaning and checkup coming from someone in authority who is Chinese and female, proved to turn the tables completly in our case. Link to comment
BillV 8-16-2004 Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 (edited) My wife tried ESL class but got frustrated because it was mostly Spanish speaking students. Lucky for her she got a job at an all English speaking college working in the kitchen and they even had a private tutor work with her at no charge. She has been their over two years now and has work at two other American fine dining restaurants and catering for private parties. This has help her the most actually immersing herself into the English language, she told me once she got here to discontinue the Chinese TV. She loves to cook and bake so I would fine recipes for her, she would write them out while learning our measurement systems and spelling the words, she also learned to spell and read menus. Being a restaurant owner and food inspector for the government in China most people think of her as a chef they love her baking and cooking, the presentation, taste and creativity. Today she has made great strides and I am very proud of her. It takes time just work with her, when I come home from work I will always ask her how her day was and she loves to share this with me, I believe she enjoys that and it helps us to communicate with each other. As far as doctor visits they would always supply an interpreter in the begining and I found a Chinese dentist. Today she does not need an interpreter and she goes to my dentist. Edited December 14, 2007 by BillV 8-16-2004 (see edit history) Link to comment
BillV 8-16-2004 Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. OK I will try that approach with them both...... And Merry When they get here, give me a call. I will hook you up with a wonderful female Chinese PEDS/OBGYN. Thanks and again, Merry The beautiful part is try to find a USA OBGYN who knows how to adjust or remove the Chinese IUD, and has tons of experience doing it. Saves a trip back to China. Not to mention, she will explain the importance of going to an American dentist too (remember, everything a Chinese doctor tells her will probably be regarded as the gospel truth). My wife had what you called the ring IUD device, there was no string. She had irregular bleeding (spotting) so I took her to our doctor, she recommended maybe just keep it, I told her no I wanted it to be removed then we would know if this was causing the problem or not. It had been place for like 10 years, we agreed to have it removed and then tried another IUD and problem solved. In China as far as I understand these can be left in for many years where here they recommend to change them every 5 years. Link to comment
natrigon Posted December 14, 2007 Report Share Posted December 14, 2007 I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. OK I will try that approach with them both...... And Merry When they get here, give me a call. I will hook you up with a wonderful female Chinese PEDS/OBGYN. Thanks and again, Merry B) The beautiful part is try to find a USA OBGYN who knows how to adjust or remove the Chinese IUD, and has tons of experience doing it. Saves a trip back to China. Not to mention, she will explain the importance of going to an American dentist too (remember, everything a Chinese doctor tells her will probably be regarded as the gospel truth). My wife had what you called the ring IUD device, there was no string. She had irregular bleeding (spotting) so I took her to our doctor, she recommended maybe just keep it, I told her no I wanted it to be removed then we would know if this was causing the problem or not. It had been place for like 10 years, we agreed to have it removed and then tried another IUD and problem solved. In China as far as I understand these can be left in for many years where here they recommend to change them every 5 years. My wife has had the Chinese version for 20 years with no issues. Her new OBGYN is amazed how simple and cheap it was. Link to comment
MikeandRong Posted December 15, 2007 Report Share Posted December 15, 2007 I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. OK I will try that approach with them both...... And Merry When they get here, give me a call. I will hook you up with a wonderful female Chinese PEDS/OBGYN. Thanks and again, Merry The beautiful part is try to find a USA OBGYN who knows how to adjust or remove the Chinese IUD, and has tons of experience doing it. Saves a trip back to China. Not to mention, she will explain the importance of going to an American dentist too (remember, everything a Chinese doctor tells her will probably be regarded as the gospel truth). My wife had what you called the ring IUD device, there was no string. She had irregular bleeding (spotting) so I took her to our doctor, she recommended maybe just keep it, I told her no I wanted it to be removed then we would know if this was causing the problem or not. It had been place for like 10 years, we agreed to have it removed and then tried another IUD and problem solved. In China as far as I understand these can be left in for many years where here they recommend to change them every 5 years. For some reason, the USA docs just don't seem to have much working knowledge of such a simple device. They want multiple consulations, xray, ultrasounds, etc., for a no string removal that takes about 5 minutes in China.The no string is standard, so the women can't remove it themselves. Super cheap, simple, and it works. Stainless steel is the best they have, but I would prefer gold or platinum if it was me it was inside of. Link to comment
MikeandRong Posted December 15, 2007 Report Share Posted December 15, 2007 I think you should reassess ... Go with them both to the doctor and the dentist. For the doctor stay with your wife the entire time ... Pap smear and all. For daughter, step out at the appropriate time but then come back. Unless daughter is a Chinese pre-med they just don't have the vocabulary to understand the doctor (or dentist, although that's a bit easier). You'll get a very poor glossed over recap from them that may well miss key points. Also the typical Chinese attitude with regards to medical people (all they need is a white coat!) is total deference. You must be there and convince your girls that it is their body and the doctor is not in charge. They need to question, understand, where necessary do research, and make informed decisions. This is a big change for them. OK I will try that approach with them both...... And Merry When they get here, give me a call. I will hook you up with a wonderful female Chinese PEDS/OBGYN. Thanks and again, Merry The beautiful part is try to find a USA OBGYN who knows how to adjust or remove the Chinese IUD, and has tons of experience doing it. Saves a trip back to China. Not to mention, she will explain the importance of going to an American dentist too (remember, everything a Chinese doctor tells her will probably be regarded as the gospel truth). My wife had what you called the ring IUD device, there was no string. She had irregular bleeding (spotting) so I took her to our doctor, she recommended maybe just keep it, I told her no I wanted it to be removed then we would know if this was causing the problem or not. It had been place for like 10 years, we agreed to have it removed and then tried another IUD and problem solved. In China as far as I understand these can be left in for many years where here they recommend to change them every 5 years. My wife has had the Chinese version for 20 years with no issues. Her new OBGYN is amazed how simple and cheap it was. I can only imagine what the cost would be here (multiple checkups, ultrasounds, blood draws, etc...). Link to comment
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