I am just a male chauvinist pig¡­

[ameriken]

So at the end of this conversation, the female coworker says “It sounds to me like you are stifling your wife.” I replied, “Why would you say that I stifle her? We talk things over and she listens to her husband.” At which the female coworker mutters, “Oh brother!” and walks off.

 

I dont understand why Dennis is the one who needs 'sensitivity' training.

 

Is this woman not being insensitive and perhaps being a bit too judgmental?

 

Maybe she owes Dennis an apology...Dennis really didnt do anything wrong in talking about his wife and wanting to be with her more...... it was her own response that was uncalled for.

 

Maybe Dennis didnt respond properly, but I dont see her reaction that started the whole thing as being justified either. Perhaps if one should go to class, then they should go to the same class together.

Edited March 20, 2007 by ameriken (see edit history)

[tywy_99]

So at the end of this conversation, the female coworker says ¡°It sounds to me like you are stifling your wife.¡± I replied, ¡°Why would you say that I stifle her? We talk things over and she listens to her husband.¡± At which the female coworker mutters, ¡°Oh brother!¡± and walks off.

 

I dont understand why Dennis is the one who needs 'sensitivity' training.

 

Is this woman not being insensitive and perhaps being a bit too judgmental?

 

Maybe she owes Dennis an apology...Dennis really didnt do anything wrong in talking about his wife and wanting to be with her more...... it was her own response that was uncalled for.

 

Maybe Dennis didnt respond properly, but I dont see her reaction that started the whole thing as being justified either. Perhaps if one should go to class, then they should go to the same class together.

EEO won't see it like that, especially if the EEO supervisor is a woman.

[SheLikesME?]

DENNIS!

 

Your too dang sensitive. NEVER APOLOGIZE!!!

[david_dawei]

So at the end of this conversation, the female coworker says ¡°It sounds to me like you are stifling your wife.¡± I replied, ¡°Why would you say that I stifle her? We talk things over and she listens to her husband.¡± At which the female coworker mutters, ¡°Oh brother!¡± and walks off.

 

I dont understand why Dennis is the one who needs 'sensitivity' training.

 

Is this woman not being insensitive and perhaps being a bit too judgmental?

 

Maybe she owes Dennis an apology...Dennis really didnt do anything wrong in talking about his wife and wanting to be with her more...... it was her own response that was uncalled for.

 

Maybe Dennis didnt respond properly, but I dont see her reaction that started the whole thing as being justified either. Perhaps if one should go to class, then they should go to the same class together.

EEO won't see it like that, especially if the EEO supervisor is a woman.

I think that a few of us are all too sensitive to this as a fact of the work place.. ergo, something is not right.

 

On a humanistic level, if we could drop all the BS of needing to be PC, neither side should take either's comment personally but as an expression of what they are feeling about that given situation. In this sense, both are responsible for their comments... and both took the others comments in the wrong way..

 

She was first in sequence in expressing a bad attitude (and making a directly personal comment), she also couldn't accept a counter general comment back... The saddest part, is when she nor others cannot see her role.

[ameriken]

I think that a few of us are all too sensitive to this as a fact of the work place.. ergo, something is not right.

 

On a humanistic level, if we could drop all the BS of needing to be PC, neither side should take either's comment personally but as an expression of what they are feeling about that given situation. In this sense, both are responsible for their comments... and both took the others comments in the wrong way..

 

She was first in sequence in expressing a bad attitude (and making a directly personal comment), she also couldn't accept a counter general comment back... The saddest part, is when she nor others cannot see her role.

A proper, more 'sensitive' response would be "I am happy you love your wife and have such a great marriage."

 

Good for you Dennis.....your sensitivity is proven by the love you have for your wife. Too bad others are only focused on your response to an unsensitive remark made by someone with a chip on their shoulder!

Edited March 20, 2007 by ameriken (see edit history)

[chef4u]

Well, Having witness almost the same scenario with a couple of Disney employees their "rule" is....who's feelings were hurt the most has cause. So if she feels her feelings were hurt she can go to HR and if the other person feels hurt they can do the same. At Disney the word bitch was a little to much for a person who over heard that word being said to someone else. The individual was sitting not far from two other people having a private conversation about his enstranged wife and their upcoming divorce. This other person heard the guy reference his enstranged wife as a bitch. Thus, the person filed an HR claim.........bitch

Edited March 20, 2007 by chef4u (see edit history)

[Steve and Aiwen]

¡°See, now that¡¯s the typical answer I get when I talk with an American woman.¡±

 

If you really said this then yes, you need someone at HR to encourage your sensitivity skills. Generalizing, especially to such a negative is neither productive nor very smart. An apology to the women who heard that is appropriate.

Ah, a graduate, I see !

It's to bad we don't live in a country that guarantees the freedom of speech to it's citizens. One where you can express your views without fear of reprisal from those who hold differing points of view. I remember a country that used to exist where people weren't forced to appologize for expressing their beliefs or opinions.

 

It's even worse in academia...my ex worked at a local comunity college, there for over 20 years....a student(an older one, mid 40's) , kept "hitting" on her....she didn't give him the time of day, much less any encouragement....this pissed him off, so he files a "sexual harrasment" complaint....there ain't no witch hunt like an academic witch hunt...you would not believe the anguish and difficulties this created not just for her, but for me as well. And, according to policy, the complaint does not even have to be substantiated.....and the dude disappeared, never returned to the school....I finally found him working on a chicken farm out in the boonies 60 miles north of here......he settled out of court, the college offered a "letter" where no one admitted anything, yet it was placed in her personel file. Something is wrong when you can be nearly made into a criminal without trail, and no right to question your accuser. Sure, you can sue, but the state has infinite resourses.....we do not...we about broke even on the whole deal.....except for the pain it caused us. I am sick to death of political correctness and idiots telling me what I should think....sure, freedom of speech, let them talk all they want, but when they try to cram it down my throat I'm gonna bite their hand.....if you even offer an opposing point of view these days, you are immediatly attacked and branded a racist, bigot, conservative right-winger, leftist looney,...take your pick.....whatever happened to respecting another's point of view.....this is intolerance in its worst form.......

 

Steve

Edited March 21, 2007 by Steve and Aiwen (see edit history)

[Steve and Aiwen]

So at the end of this conversation, the female coworker says ¡°It sounds to me like you are stifling your wife.¡± I replied, ¡°Why would you say that I stifle her? We talk things over and she listens to her husband.¡± At which the female coworker mutters, ¡°Oh brother!¡± and walks off.

 

I dont understand why Dennis is the one who needs 'sensitivity' training.

 

Is this woman not being insensitive and perhaps being a bit too judgmental?

 

Maybe she owes Dennis an apology...Dennis really didnt do anything wrong in talking about his wife and wanting to be with her more...... it was her own response that was uncalled for.

 

Maybe Dennis didnt respond properly, but I dont see her reaction that started the whole thing as being justified either. Perhaps if one should go to class, then they should go to the same class together.

 

Good idea!!!

 

 

Steve

[SheLikesME?]

It's even worse in academia...my ex worked at a local comunity college, there for over 20 years....a student(an older one, mid 40's) , kept "hitting" on her....she didn't give him the time of day, much less any encouragement....this pissed him off, so he files a "sexual harrasment" complaint....there ain't no witch hunt like an academic witch hunt...you would not believe the anguish and difficulties this created not just for her, but for me as well. And, according to policy, the complaint does not even have to be substantiated.....and the dude disappeared, never returned to the school....I finally found him working on a chicken farm out in the boonies 60 miles north of here......he settled out of court, the college offered a "letter" where no one admitted anything, yet it was placed in her personel file. Something is wrong when you can be nearly made into a criminal without trail, and no right to question your accuser. Sure, you can sue, but the state has infinite resourses.....we do not...we about broke even on the whole deal.....except for the pain it caused us. I am sick to death of political correctness and idiots telling me what I should think....sure, freedom of speech, let them talk all they want, but when they try to cram it down my throat I'm gonna bite their hand.....if you even offer an opposing point of view these days, you are immediatly attacked and branded a racist, bigot, conservative right-winger, leftist looney,...take your pick.....whatever happened to respecting another's point of view.....this is intolerance in its worst form.......

 

Steve

Reminds me of when I dated 2 women I worked with in the same department, and they didn't like each other in the first place. I was a little embalanced, as usual, I know. My kids were moved 1200 miles away with my first ex. I sorta.......haha

[bosco]

Reminds me of when I dated 2 women I worked with in the same department, and they didn't like each other in the first place. I was a little embalanced, as usual, I know. My kids were moved 1200 miles away with my first ex. I sorta.......haha

 

http://www.timfanelli.com/images/no_idea.jpg

[IllinoisDave]

“See, now that’s the typical answer I get when I talk with an American woman.”

 

If you really said this then yes, you need someone at HR to encourage your sensitivity skills. Generalizing, especially to such a negative is neither productive nor very smart. An apology to the women who heard that is appropriate.

Ah, a graduate, I see !

It's to bad we don't live in a country that guarantees the freedom of speech to it's citizens. One where you can express your views without fear of reprisal from those who hold differing points of view. I remember a country that used to exist where people weren't forced to appologize for expressing their beliefs or opinions.

 

And I'm sure all the women and minorities who were subjected to lewd or insulting comments remember that country as well.

[Dennis143]

The most hatred and racist filled bigotry throughout history came from the power wielded by the white man. I believe that what we, as the white men here, experience today is exactly a result of having to pay a bit for the intolerance that was shown by our forefathers. When white men speak or show any sign of intolerance today we will be quickly called on it. We will be scrutinized and held to a higher standard than those without a history of bigotry. Not fair? Probably not, yet, I suppose, it's not unlike Germans today who must continue to loudly and publicly condemn facism (probably not a good example).

 

My ex was a latino rights advocate in Eugene Oregon. This is the lesson she tried to teach me, when she'd call me on a seemingly innocent remark I would make on occasion.

Edited March 21, 2007 by Dennis143 (see edit history)

[ameriken]

The most hatred and racist bigotry throughout history came from the power wielded by the white man. I believe that what we, as the white men here, experience today is exactly a result of having to pay a bit for the intolerance that was shown by our forefathers. When white men speak or show any sign of intolerance today we will be quickly called on it. We will be scrutinized and held to a higher standard than those without a history of bigotry. Not fair? Probably not, yet, I suppose, it's not unlike Germans today who must continue to loudly and publicly condemn facism.

 

My ex was a latino rights leader in Eugene Oregon. This is the lesson she taught me, when she'd call me on a seemingly innocent remark I would make on occasion.

I understand what you say, however, I think your signature proclaims the best attitude for this PC crap: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind. Edited March 21, 2007 by ameriken (see edit history)

[Blacksheep]

Just tell them you go home every night and wash the dishes (Just don't tell them your wife is working and not there to do them )

[SheLikesME?]

The most hatred and racist filled bigotry throughout history came from the power wielded by the white man. I believe that what we, as the white men here, experience today is exactly a result of having to pay a bit for the intolerance that was shown by our forefathers. When white men speak or show any sign of intolerance today we will be quickly called on it. We will be scrutinized and held to a higher standard than those without a history of bigotry. Not fair? Probably not, yet, I suppose, it's not unlike Germans today who must continue to loudly and publicly condemn facism (probably not a good example).

 

My ex was a latino rights advocate in Eugene Oregon. This is the lesson she tried to teach me, when she'd call me on a seemingly innocent remark I would make on occasion.

Well in America maybe. It is all over the world. It is greed whether individual or collective, planned or random.

 

Having had slave owners on both sides of my family in Mississippi and other states, my cousin has often commented on that as maybe attributing to all of us going through divorces and other things. Who knows?

 

My other cousins and I have had discussions on what to do to help. Not much we could do, other than be kind.